to not want to write my own Mother's Day card

[LifeIsButtercream]

I know IABU and ungrateful and hormonal!

Ex has sent a blank Mother's Day card addressed to DD (nearly 2) and me, with a note on the front addressed to DD asking her to decorate the card with stickers and write it, without Mummy seeing - yeah, cos that's going to happen. DD will stick the stickers, and I would have to write it, and of course I would know about it!

Don't get me wrong its very kind that he has bought and sent a card (albeit blank, and he works in a card shop so gets a discount and was hardly going to 'forget' it was Mother's Day). The thing is I don't want ANYTHING from him (apart from support for his DD as I can't provide enough for her without that) - it makes me feel really uncomfortable and sad, and it feels really innapropriate. I would never go into a shop, buy a card to myself and write it anyway!

I always get something for my Mum for Mother's Day, but as far as DD is concerned it doesn't mean much for me - not until she is old enough to want to make/give something herself because she wants to - that will mean something - and I'd rather wait until then! Ex was much more of the Hallmark frame of mind where cards had to be sent for every national celebration/achievement etc.

I've already planned to do an activity with DD on Mother's Day, we're doing 2 'Mother and Daughter' handprint pictures with finger paints (one for my Mum and one for me), and generally getting messy painting on the kitchen floor. I think I'm just gonna put the unwritten card on a shelf for when she is older.

Deploy and I shall devour them all in a comfort-eating way.......

[kreecherlivesupstairs]

YABU I think. Not U to want a recognition. I think your ex could have done the decorating and signing when he was with her rather than expecting you to do your own.
I am not anticipating DH remembering mother's day, he never does. Plus , we don't live in England and I think it must be a different day.
Enjoy your handprinting.

[JeremyVile]

Seems a bit crap for him to make this half-gesture. How hard would it have been for him to do the card with her?

Having said that, I'm with you in that Mothers day gestures on behalf of very small kids are just silly. I actually dislike mothers day in general though, seems so contrived and martyrish

[redstripeyelephant]

tis a bit weird, but i guess at least it is a gesture and more than most men would do for their ex! Perhaps he meant to do it with her but forgot, and thought it would be weird if he just wrote it himself?

Your mothers day plans sound lovely by the way!

[Jude89]

At least he did something,

for father's day send him a £1.50 WH Smith Voucher tell him to buy his own

[LifeIsButtercream]

I guess I'm getting wound up about it because I really would rather have nothing than a card from him, and have politely told him so. I've thanked him for sending something but once again (politely) told him it really isn't necessary and he need not send anything.

I would always rather not receive a card than receive one that has no sentiment behind it.

Screws fists into face and attempts to drown self in chocolate milk

[girlscout]

It would be nice if he put it together with your daughter when they were together,but rubbish for him to try and (benignly)dictate what you do, and be grateful!

[chicletteeth]

YABU.
For god's sake, at least he sent the card so she can stick stuff on it. So what if he works in a card shop, is it not the thought that counts?
Why does she need to write on it anyway, she can't write. All my early cards from my eldest boy (who is now old enough to write) just consisted of stickers and scribbles which is perfect and completely in keeping with his age! Why is there no sentiment behind if it she puts stickers on it? Surely it's a decorated card from her that she's done! You want sentiment from kids; you'll be waiting a long time for that, they have very little concept of dates/occasions etc.. (unless of course it's their birthday or christmas).

If you don't want anything, then put it in the bin - you daugher won't now either way!

[Jemma1111]

I wouldn't get upset over it as like one or two others have said atleast your ex gave your daughter a card to give to you

My ex has never bothered to get a card for my kids to give to me on Mother's day, although my mum does that on their behalf

Remember if you get funny with your ex now about Mother's day he may decide in future not to bother even when your little girl can write a card herself