to ask would you be disappointed if you didn't get a card/ present for motherday

(260 Posts)
AuntiePickleBottom Mon 28-Mar-11 22:21:30

more of a discussion really.

over the school this seems like a hot topic, and some mums expect alot from there OH to deliver cards and presents.

as long as i get a card i really don't care

Not bothered really

I'm a single parent and I will be getting a card. I know this because my DS told me he made me one at pre-school today but not to tell anyone because it's a surprise

BelleDameSansMerci Mon 28-Mar-11 22:23:47

I will get the card my DD makes me at nursery. That'll be all. I am disappointed by this every year. I don't expect a present but a card and some flowers would be nice.

lockets Mon 28-Mar-11 22:24:09

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

I don't expect a present. Going out for a meal or DH cooking so I don't have to would be nice though.

Beamur Mon 28-Mar-11 22:24:16

DP forgot entirely last year. Given the strop I threw I think he might remember to 'help' DD with a card this year.
I don't want much, a card would suffice - but I would like it to be remembered.

BitOfFun Mon 28-Mar-11 22:25:02

Not remotely. I prefer to feel generally appreciated than to get a card once a year.

vonnyh Mon 28-Mar-11 22:25:08

Wouldn't bother me at all.

TheNumberTaker Mon 28-Mar-11 22:25:17

Not fussed, it's a ridiculous, contrived, Hallmark sponsored pile of bollocks, like Valentines Day.

supadupapupascupa Mon 28-Mar-11 22:25:20

Yes I would be gutted.

We celebrate mothers and fathers day as well as birthdays, anniversaries and valentines. If any were forgotten then it would be very upsetting.

However not everyone does celebrate all these things, and in that instance then I wouldn't be upset.

Lavitabellissima Mon 28-Mar-11 22:26:38

It's my first one but I'd be happy with a card and a cup of tea brew

LifeIsButtercream Mon 28-Mar-11 22:27:18

Not really, I'm a single parent and I'd be very surprised if not-quite-2 DD went out and bought me one!

I get smiles and hugs from my little girl everyday, means a million times more what any card could smile

LoveMyGirls Mon 28-Mar-11 22:27:31

Dh suggested I go to the hairdressers as my pressie which I'm chuffed with (I hardly ever go, last time I went was August last year, I usually ask my dsis to do it for me but she does it for a job so I don't like to ask)

Dd's are old enough to sort cards and I would hope they do show some appreciation for me.

bosch Mon 28-Mar-11 22:29:37

Think dh believes mothers day is invention of Hallmark so doesn't really go in for it. Shame really as I think mothers day is legit and it's fathers day which was invented by card manufacturers...

Not expecting much though likely ds3 will be making something at nursery. Ds1 and 2 had opportunity to buy something organised by school pta but both too uninterested and I didn't really want to have to persuade dh to organise them.

However, am staying overnight at friends on sat night, so have unwittingly organised my own lie-in which is pretty much all I really want! And boys will be pleased to see me when I do roll in mid afternoon, which is as good as it gets!

lazylula Mon 28-Mar-11 22:29:38

I would be happy with a card, especially if it is home made! Up until last year dh has spent a fortune on boquets of flowers for my mu, his mum and me. Last year I finally managed to convince him that it was a waste and we got them some flowers each from a supermarket for a fraction of the cost, same as I got. This year it would be lovely if dh takes the day off and we can have a family day, oh and a cup of tea in bed!

shakey1500 Mon 28-Mar-11 22:31:08

Some appreciation would be nice though not necessarily by way of cards or flowers.

However, I am hoping that it's NOT a repeat of last year where DH presented me with a cd of "Classic 80's Electric Pop" after having had a discussion the week before about music where I expressed an intense dislike for anything that was 80's electric pop....

maighdlin Mon 28-Mar-11 22:31:26

i will be majorily upset. mainly because i got nothing at all last year and made the effort for fathers day.

goingmadinthecountry Mon 28-Mar-11 22:31:31

The first year I had a baby dh made a video out of old cine films for his mum. I even did the soundtrack. I got absolutely nothing - not even a card, as a mummy of 4 months.

Move on 17 years and 4 kids.......

I think he's learnt his lesson. PILs aren't talking to me right now as I (very slightly) upset their beloved (nearly 50yo) dd at Christmas. Have been shallow enough to ignore my 4 dcs ever since.

Could bore you all about the fall out, but like me you'd probably think it was all a bit of a fuss over nothing.

So much as I think dh should want to give his mum something as a fantastic grandmother/mum, she isn't. My dd3 is so gorgeous, I hate to wake her up every morning because I'd rather cuddle her. She's beautiful asleep. How can mil ignore a 7yo for 3 months, especially when we pass her house every day on the way to school?

Just show me how much you love me, children. I'll be standing by the side of the pitch supporting rugby as is my Sunday norm. Restaurant in the evening.

MrsSchadenfreude Mon 28-Mar-11 22:32:50

I never do. DH says "You're not my mother." DDs don't do anything at school for Mothering Sunday either.

The "You're not my mother" works both ways. His mother is not my mother, therefore I don't order her flowers. When he asks "what have WE sent my mother for mother's day", I merely say that I have sent my mother some flowers. His mother usually gets hers on Monday or Tuesday.

It isn't a Hallmark invention is it or surely it wouldn't be such a moveable feast (assume it's linked to Easter dates somehow?)

Barbeasty Mon 28-Mar-11 22:35:17

Yes. Last year I was pregnant and DH was very embarrassed when his mum gave me some flowers because "he hadn't bothered".

DH seemed to think that he didn't need to do anything until DD was old enough to do it herself. I would like a token of his appreciation!

I also wasn't too impressed when he suggested I cooked a nice meal for his mum... He has now at least agreed that he will cook.

coolascucumber Mon 28-Mar-11 22:35:21

Each year I buy cards from the children to me and give them to my DH to give to the children to give to me. I also buy his mother's card. Otherwise the day would pass without comment.

FreudianSlippery Mon 28-Mar-11 22:35:56

Yes I would, and I expect DH would be if we didn't bother with fathers day. Agree it's a hallmark holiday but who cares, to us it's an excuse to spoil each other a little

Very, very slightly disappointed. DH has trained me to have low expectations and I have trained him not to surprise me, so it is all my fault really. He has asked me what I want for mothers day, but my suggestion of him looking after DD for a whole day has gone down like a lead balloon. And I forgot his birthday (I remembered until the day, then forgot on the day and lost his cards) so I don't think I can really expect much. The main thing I have for mothers day is a fantastic baby.

ddubsgirl Mon 28-Mar-11 22:38:00

after 14 yrs not really bothered anymore,get a card but thats about it,going for meal with family & in laws as its dh birthday too,altho it would be nice to get flowers or box of choccys it wont happen!

perfumedlife Mon 28-Mar-11 22:38:00

I had words with dh last year over this. He organised nothing, and ds made a nice card at school. I was expecting a little something, even lunch or some breakfast in bed. I had dropped hints like bricks too.

His excuse was the same as MrsS' dh, you're not my mum, whilst asking what I had sent his mum. Was livid. He says it's manufactured crap, and would rather give flowers just because. Yes, I said, but am fed up waiting for the 'just because' day. And, I make a huge effort for Fathers day. Don't spend a lot, but do make it thoughtful.

I want him to encourage ds to see it as a nice thing, to appreciate his mum. I always made a fuss of my mum, still do.

piprabbit Mon 28-Mar-11 22:39:31

So long as I get a kiss and a cuddle (and perhaps an hour alone to shower/do my toenails etc. instead of trying to patrol the fights and act as a climbing frame <dreams wistfully>), I'm not bothered about the 'stuff'.

Overtiredmum Mon 28-Mar-11 22:41:41

I would be happy with a cup of tea in bed - at a reasonable hour, not 6am!

SingingBear Mon 28-Mar-11 22:44:06

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LadyWord Mon 28-Mar-11 22:44:06

No, I really don't want to expect anything because I don't want to be like my mum, who used to pull emotional blackmail on mother's day. I still send her something because now I'm kind of stuck in it and I'm scared not to <wimp>

It's nice if I get cards made by DC at school or nursery but I would hate to make anyone feel obliged. Or feel bad if they didn't.

AuntiePickleBottom Mon 28-Mar-11 22:45:07

i like the idea of a cup of tea in bed about midmorning (not at 7am) and a peaceful bath (does these actually exist lol)

may start hintting tomorrow lol

smellsofsick Mon 28-Mar-11 22:48:22

I know it's a bit twee

I know it's manipulative by the likes of Hallmark

I know my 3 mo dd will not have chosen the card or flowers

But I've never been a mum before and I'm excited by my first ever mothers day.

Gingefringe Mon 28-Mar-11 22:48:50

I would be disappointed if I didn't get a card and a cup of tea in bed.

On my first year as a mum I had such high expectations as I had given birth to DD about a month beforehand and thought DH would go overboard for me. Suffice to say he forgot all about it until the actual day and had to rush out (to the garage I presume) to get a card - I got this awful card which was nothing to do with mother's day and just had a big picture of Homer Simpson showing his bum on the front. I burst into tears!! - hormones eh!!

We still joke about the Homer Simpson bum card and I wont let him forget it.

FlorenceCalamityandJoanofArc Mon 28-Mar-11 22:50:38

Invention of Hallmark? Are you kidding? As a day of worship to mothers it can be traced to both ancient Greece and Rome, it was around March even then. Mothering Sunday as a Christian religious festival is dated to at least the 15th Century, although its importance and popularity went in and out of fashion.

Its not a modern invention at all.

everythingchangeseverything Mon 28-Mar-11 22:51:16

Mothering Sunday is always the 4th Sunday in Lent. Not invented by Hallmark.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

megapixels Mon 28-Mar-11 22:53:14

No. If the DC made a card themselves I'd appreciate it though. Would hate to get those generic "mother's day flowers", "mother's day chocolates", "mother's day cards" etc. that everyone up and down the country would be getting at the command of Hallmark et al.

MrsEricBana Mon 28-Mar-11 22:54:23

Unlikely to be recognised here and I would be upset because I would like them to want to recognise it rather than because I would especially like card, pressie or whatever. Friend today was telling me she had asked for a particular thing for mothers' day and I did find that odd.

ithaka Mon 28-Mar-11 22:54:31

I would be disappointed if I didn't get home made cards from my daughters, they love making cards and they are usually works of art! I am also pretty confident of at least chocs and flowers from my DH, he is good that way, so I would be disappointed not to get that, too.

I usually spend mother's day taking my mum out for afternoon tea with my sister, which is a nice mother's day treat for all three of us.

megapixels Mon 28-Mar-11 22:54:49

It wasn't invented by Hallmark but what it is today is what commercial establishments like that have conditioned people into doing/expecting.

WestYorkshirePudding Mon 28-Mar-11 22:57:07

Nope, I can't be doing with Mother's Day, Father's Day, Anniversaries and all that crap.

We're having friends and their kids round for a boozy afternoon on Sunday wine while half of the country goes out for lunch having spent a stupid amount on flowers, chocolates, etc.

goingmadinthecountry Mon 28-Mar-11 22:58:20

You know, because we're not talking, I don't have to send shite to sainted mil (she's so amazing don't ypu know?). Yeh!!

FlorenceCalamityandJoanofArc Mon 28-Mar-11 22:59:31

thats true of anything though, its all commercialised. I don't see anyone giving up Christmas though because of it.

I expect this year I will organise a gift for my MIL while I get shag all, again.

DilysPrice Mon 28-Mar-11 22:59:36

As long as I get a lie in and a cup of tea I'll be happy. Last year DS came down with chickenpox the day before so DH slept on his floor, which didn't stop DS then waking up and wandering off to climb into bed with me at 4am and grizzling on and off until 7 am. I was insufficiently princessy to make DH get up and take charge of the DCs, so he got my lovely Mother's Day lie in, albeit on DS's floor.

Tortington Mon 28-Mar-11 23:01:44

i dont expect anything from dh - peoples dh's who buy them stuff which aren't from the kids...well...thats just fucking freaky.

anyway, i do expect a card - 29p from card factory whoch is a 10 min walk away.

I wouldn't expect anything from dh as I am not his mother, but I will send my mum a card and I'm sure he will send his mum a card. What annoys me is that he forgets to 'enable' dd to make a card, not that I need one, but she will be upset if she realises that it is mother's day and she has not done anything. She is 8, and very dozy, so quite likely to forget until the last minute, unless someone says "do you want to do something for mothers' day?" and then helps her find card etc. I'm really not bothered for myself, but I know she will be.

oldsilver Mon 28-Mar-11 23:05:38

I'd be lucky if I get a card, won't get anything else cause Sunday morning is for golf, Sunday afternoon is for DP have a nap cause he got up early for golf, and I am not his mother and he heard somewhere and has kept it too heart that women don't like getting flowers cause they think they are being buttered up or expect their DP has done something to be guilty about - total crap excuse for not ever having to buy me flowers if you ask me! Roll on Fathers Day!

piprabbit Mon 28-Mar-11 23:07:13

My mum does a hundred and one little things for us throughout the year, I'm very grateful and do say thank you at the time. However, I feel that Mother's Day is a good day to specifically tell her how much I appreciate everything she does for me.

PenguinArmy Mon 28-Mar-11 23:07:49

DD was only 10 days old last year and I didn't expect DH to get me anything as it was still a haze at that point. I was disappointed that both our mums visited and not one of them got me a little something (although I have since learnt that me and DH are now redundant in our ILs eyes).

notahappycamper Mon 28-Mar-11 23:13:55

Last year, DH ignored my birthday (just before Mother's Day), not even telling the kids it was my birthday. Then we trailed round John Lewis on Mother's Day getting presents for MIL. He said I wasnt a good enough wife apparently hmm.
I thought my birthday would be a bit better this year. All I ever want is a card on the morning, not something bought later on from the garage. Ha ha stupid me blush. My 6 year old made me a beautiful little card and a badge, bless her.
My mum died when I was young just before my birthday so it does mean something to me now I'm a mum. Every year at school was crap when everyone was making cards and I got sent round the school doing jobs to avoid any embarrassment
I would like a card but wont hold my breath

TheNumberTaker Mon 28-Mar-11 23:15:42

Mothering Sunday, St Valentine, Easter, Christmas, etc all have roots in ancient lore/adopted religious celebrations.

Mothering Sunday is a religious celebration that pretty much fell out of practice. It was mainly about domestic servants returning to worship at their parish of birth (their "mother church") and visiting their families at the same time.

The pressure on children and husbands to purchase cards, expensive flowers and gifts and the right to pout if these are not produced with sufficient attendant genuflection is a modern day invention. Nothing to do with religion and the Mothering Sunday of old. Much like Christmas trees and chocolate eggs.

piprabbit Mon 28-Mar-11 23:16:00

shock at notahappycamper's DH.

AlaskaHQ Mon 28-Mar-11 23:27:41

notahappycamper ... I would sob if that happened to me. How thoughtless of DH.

I do mind about Mothers Day being forgotten, and - unfortunately - my husband is completely hopeless at remembering it. I don't want a present or anything - I just would like a homemade card and a little bit of fuss from the kids ... on my birthday, DS (aged 4) announced he was going to give me a special hug and pour out my breakfast cereal "because it is Mummy's special day", that sort of little thing.

cryhavoc Mon 28-Mar-11 23:27:55

Um, no. Not bothered. Certainly wouldn't make a fuss if I don't get anything. DD is only just 3, so not particularly great at reading the calendar, and I am not DH's mother.

Bubbaluv Mon 28-Mar-11 23:32:08

Furious.
I have been spoilt in previous years I guess.

just thought you'd like to know my current forecast as I'm a bit insomniaish (which almost certainly eill change between now and then!) is for quite a nice day for most of us. dry (unless you are in the nw) and not too cold.

saffy85 Tue 29-Mar-11 08:03:24

DD (3) will either make me a card at nursery or do so with my mum when she sees her later in the week. That's enough for me.

I'm not bothered by presents, flowers etc as long as I get to spend the actual day with DD. DP wont remember mothers day. I do howver remember fathers day, but again DD just makes something- a card, a hand a mess etc.

saffy85 Tue 29-Mar-11 08:06:02

and OMFG at notahappycamper's wanker husband! shock

Hope you give fathers day and his birthday a wide berth. What a big meanie sad

exoticfruits Tue 29-Mar-11 08:11:31

Yes I would-but then I always get spoiled for the day and I like it!

CharlotteBronteSaurus Tue 29-Mar-11 08:18:59

yes, i would. i think if you have a dp, he should encourage the dc to make a card, and he should ensure you get whatever constitutes a lie-in in your house (about 8.30am here grin). presents/flowers/lunch out is optional.

Morloth Tue 29-Mar-11 08:22:00

There would be trouble.

But I am a high maintenance PITA. grin

That saying 'If Mama Aint Happy, Aint Nobody Happy' applies in our house.

Very happy to be home for Mother's Day this year (which is in May here). We are spoiling Mum and MIL like crazy this year to make up for the missed ones (where we did send flowers, but it isn't the same).

We do birthdays, Christmas, Mother's Day and Father's Day but not valentines day.

cory Tue 29-Mar-11 08:24:12

Mine are old enough to organise breakfast in bed etc if suitably reminded. I'm reminding them. grin

Cymar Tue 29-Mar-11 08:30:42

Nope, can't be arsed with it. I'll be getting up at the usual time and certainly don't expect to be treated like I'm somone special - I'm not, I'm just a regular mum like most. It's my job to be the best mum I can be to my kids and as long as my kids are happy and healthy, then I don't give a stuff about Mother's Day.

Squitten Tue 29-Mar-11 08:31:27

DH forgot it was Mother's Day on my first one and I was gutted.

I wouldn't expect anything particulary grand now but I would be disappointed if he completely failed to acknowledge it (kids are still teenies).

Morloth Tue 29-Mar-11 08:35:44

Ah see I am special and expect and deserve to be treated as such, as are my Mum and MIL, very special.

newbeemummy Tue 29-Mar-11 08:40:35

Last year (DD and my first Mothers day) DP bought me a lovely card and a lovely little willow tree figure, it almost brought me to tears, as a result I told him he was off the hook for doing Mothers Day until DD was old enough to do it herself.

So I'm not expecting anything this year and will not be disappointed

Abcinthia Tue 29-Mar-11 08:42:40

I know I got a card and a present because I bought them grin

I'm not overly bothered. I only got myself a card and present because DD wanted to get me something but DP won't be home to take her shopping.

I would be a bit upset if I didn't get anything but I know that isn't going to happen because I made my own Mummy mug yesterday with DS's handprint on it, matches the mug I made for DH at Christmas. I know DH has remembered to buy me somethingon behalf of DS as I have been forbidden to look in a bag from debenhams! I did buy The cards for both mums though ( the last birthday card DH bought his mum was a mothers day card. I told him to get a proper birthday card but he just crossed out mothers day, wrote birthday, and said she would find it funny!)

Bicnod Tue 29-Mar-11 08:48:29

I didn't get a card or anything last year. Now bearing in mind DS was one at this point it wasn't exactly his fault. It was my first mother's day - I was pretty disappointed. DH will not be making the same mistake again this year grin

poopnscoop Tue 29-Mar-11 08:54:30

I am not a mum (yet sad). DH and I send a lovely bouquet of flowers to our mothers... both in different countries. I also text my sils' (who are great mums to my nephews and nieces) a little msg on the day.

FabbyChic Tue 29-Mar-11 08:55:53

I get nothing from my eldest he doesn't do birthday cards let alone Mothers day cards. My youngest buys me something and gets me a card from him and the dog, he is 17.

TaffetaCat Tue 29-Mar-11 09:04:47

DH doesn't believe in organising/doin/buying anything for me from him or on behalf of the children as I'm not his mother. I can kind of see his point, but it also seems to me that by the time your DC are old enough to do something for you off their own bat, you're not doing as much for them anyway and don't feel the need to be recognised so much. Well thats my view on it, anyway.

As it is, the PTA organise a Mothers Day gift scam session at school where I give the DC money to buy me a little pot of primroses or something, which is sweet.

In previous years, I have invited my mother and MIL over too and cooked. This year, as MIL is on holiday and my parents are going to my sisters ( for the first time, like, ever ), I have taken it upon myself to book a table for lunch locally for our family. For the first time ever, I am looking forward to Mothers Day.

cory Tue 29-Mar-11 09:05:08

I actually think it is nice for children, once old enough, to be given a chance to do something for someone else; it's not because I think I'm a wonderful mum who has to have recognition that I engineer Mother's Day, it's creating memories for them. I have happy memories of treats I arranged for my own parents- everybody wants to be the giver from time to time, not just the receiver. Admittedly, black toast with cold water slopped over my bed may not actually be my favourite culinary treat, but it's memories. Though it is nice these days to be able to get a decent cuppa.

TaffetaCat Tue 29-Mar-11 09:08:31

I'd agree with that, cory. I might ask DH to help the DC make me breakfast in bed, but suspect I will be pushing it. I, as you say, have fond memories of doing that for my mother.

Mumbybumby Tue 29-Mar-11 09:08:33

DP has forgotten the last 2 years (DD is two) but I'm hoping the arrival of DS and my hint of getting his mum a card will remind him to get me one! Failing that, DD might make one at nursery on Wednesday.
Still, at least he remembers my birthday! grin

PlanetEarth Tue 29-Mar-11 09:10:57

I'd be upset if I didn't get a card, not bothered about presents.

But what I'd really like (but never get!) is some consideration. It would be nice if someone (preferably the kids) offered to cook lunch, tidy up, or whatever else I normally do, instead of watching the telly/playing computer games while I resentfully cheefully do all the jobs or nag ask nicely for them to do it.

I wouldn't be uspet in the slightest if nobody remembered me on mother's day. As we have lived abroad for the whole of DDs life, it is generally on a different day to the UK anyway.
I will send my mum a card, she doesn't want or need anything and gets cross if we waste money on stuff (her words) when we could spend it on fags DD.

msbossy Tue 29-Mar-11 09:16:34

I am expecting a card and perhaps flowers from DH as DD is only 2 (and given that I'm being induced on Saturday maybe even a baby!). I've bought cards and made gifts for DM and MIL. DH has thanked me at least twice for sorting out MIL so I have no issue helping him out.

I agree with poopnscoop's sentiment - it's about being grateful and taking time to acknowledge ALL mothers and the contribution they make. This is DH's opportunity to show his appreciation for the care I give his DD just as Father's day is a time I will show appreciation for his care for her.

leplan Tue 29-Mar-11 09:16:40

I am quite specific about my low level demands on mother's day, which DH tends to get a bit wrong but he does make the effort.

1. I want him to take the children shopping to buy me a card or sit with them and make me a card. NOT (as usually happens) buy a couple of cards when he happens to be in paperchase.

2. I would like breakfast in bed but DO NOT want to have to wrestle the children in the bedroom for half an hour whilst DH faffs around in the kitchen.

3. I would like something a little bit naff as a gift, chosen by DSs. Mummy Mug, Picture Frame, random bit of tat. This is contrary to the rest of my everyday life but I think Mother's Day is for indulging these guilty pleasures wink.

memphis83 Tue 29-Mar-11 09:19:15

i know he has bought me a charm for my bracelet, i would be happy with just a card that said mummy in it as for my 1st birthday as a mum he wrote my name in it instead of mummy!!!!

YouLittlePiggy Tue 29-Mar-11 09:24:28

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Cyclebump Tue 29-Mar-11 09:24:41

I always go to the mothering Sunday service with my mum, as do my sisters. Mum never expects anything more (again, she sees the other bits as card company rubbish), but we generally take her for lunch or do something nice and we give her a few nice bits.

What I do like about the church service at her church is that flowers are given out to mums by their children and it's encouraged to not just give them to your 'real' mum, but to all the women who have been 'as mothers', including those who perhaps haven't got children but who have helped take care of you or have taken on a maternal role when you've needed it.

Then they give them to all the women in the church in acknowledgement that we may be in that position one day.

Everyone's included and I think that's nice. Sorry if that's a bit twee blush

Cyclebump Tue 29-Mar-11 09:26:50

Oh and I'm due the day after mothers' day this year and would rather like a 'happy mother's day' said by someone even if baby hasn't arrived by the requisite day...

WidowWadman Tue 29-Mar-11 09:43:41

No doubt I'll get something my daughter will make in the nursery. I don't expect anything from my husband, but then I'm not his mother.

He's brought me breakfast to the bed in the past, but he sometimes does it without any special occasion anyway, so I don't see the fuss.

(He's not getting anything for father's day from me either, same reasoning)

GooseyLoosey Tue 29-Mar-11 09:48:07

No presents - except a bunch of daffs picked from the garden. Homemade cards from the kids. Coffee and toast in bed. Ahhhh!

Notion of expensive present/card bought from the shops is a bit lost on me to be honest. What would the point of that be?

SummerRain Tue 29-Mar-11 09:53:35

My older two are in school so I'll get card made by them which is all I want really.

DP is going to have the day from hell on Saturday to accommodate me going to an OU tutorial (up at the crack of dawn to drop me to a town an hour away with all three kids in tow, then home, then a 40 minute drive to dd's swimming lesson where he'll have to hang around with two bored boys going wild, then home and then an hours drive to collect me in the evening and back again) so I wouldn't expect him to be thinking of mother's day on top of that!

I only expected dp to do something the years we had very young babies... a recognition of what i'd gone through giving birth and doing all night wakings with them. Now that they're older I'm not bothered.

confuddledDOTcom Tue 29-Mar-11 10:00:20

I always (although this year may not be able to as I'll be due a baby or have one in which case we'll both be ill in hospital) go to the Baby Show and spend loads on Father's Day. Personalised jewellery, mousemats, photos of the girls, other things I see and get for him. He gets well over £100 out of me and the eldest is always excited because she chose the things for him and wants to give them to him. As far as I'm concerned they're babies, they don't even get pocket money let alone be able to go to the shop and choose something without me, so it's my responsibility to do it.

Mother's Day we get the "You're not my mum!" although his mum is lucky to get a bunch of flowers. My mum has been having words with him this year, last year she went out and bought a load of things for the girls to give me and got my daughter to write a card from her and her sister.

It's his weekend to be with his other children and I had to insist he only went for the day because a. I miss out on him being there and b. his XW isn't really going to want to share Mother's Day with him! Took several attempts, him agreeing then forgetting next time we discussed it!

His XW (used to, might have changed now she has a partner and children with him) buys her own cards and presents!

tallulah Tue 29-Mar-11 10:48:34

When i was little I always made a really big deal of Mother's Day. Mum always got a card, and some flowers I'd bought myself, and usually a small present as well. Even as an adult i always made sure to post a card in time.

DH is another one who can't be bothered, and if pushed will turn up with a card he's obviously bought at the last minute, which says Mum or Mother and not mummy (DD is just 4). He also "forgets" his own mother.

The year before last not one of my kids bothered with mothers day and I was really upset. They were 23, 21, 19 and 17, so no excuse. I shamed them on FB grin. Hoping one of them can at least get me a card.

ScarlettCrossbones Tue 29-Mar-11 10:59:31

Can't believe how demanding some of these answers are! Mother's Day may have ancient roots, but I find the expectation of getting things artificial, materialistic, and, well, just a bit attention-seeking really.

babyicebean Tue 29-Mar-11 11:03:49

Is Mothers day the same as Vaentines day and birthdays then?

If so I shall get naff all as usual.

pinkytheshrinky Tue 29-Mar-11 11:04:53

I must be honest I would be absolutely gutted if DH or the children didn't bother - I know it is silly but that is honestly how I feel - I always make sure that everyone else birthdays and Father's Day and all that. I think all these daft celebration days are obviously daft and an exercise in marketing etc for card companies - I personally think it is very nice to have an excuse to spoil someone.

A card from the DCs - made by them and some flowers are enough and last year I managed to get a breakfast in bed which was just lovely.

yes i would be.
not from the children, from DH
once again he is away
don't want a big fuss, don't need to go out for lunch
just a card and a lie-in

FaultyGoods Tue 29-Mar-11 11:30:49

I'd be disappointed if I didn't get a card from my DC. They usually make me breakfast in bed. I'm happy with that.

working9while5 Tue 29-Mar-11 11:39:26

With all "occasions" in our house, we discuss expectations beforehand.

We've been together nearly 13 years. About a week to a fortnight before our anniversary, we discuss whether or not it will be a "deal" this year. Sometimes we're skint/not bothered, other years we might go for a meal, for our tenth anniversary we went to Canada!

I have told dh that this year I want to be made a fuss of as it's also my birthday this week. I also agree that it's a good habit to get kids into - we are very lax about things like birthdays etc in our own house but there are many people in the world who take these things Very Seriously Indeed and I feel it is important to prepare them to take part in all of that for the future!

I like organising more than receiving - but yes, this year I want a bit of pampering.

MorticiaAddams Tue 29-Mar-11 11:41:08

Not so much for me but the kids have always got excited about having a present to wrap up and give and bringing breakfast in bed with some flowers from the garden.

That seems to be enough effort for them and it all goes back to normal after that. grin

lilyliz Tue 29-Mar-11 11:42:16

my DH always said I am not your son,I know DS cares about me but on the cards and flowers front he is hopeless so if I get something Iam suprised

Rootle Tue 29-Mar-11 11:52:02

I would love to have some acknowledgment that I'm a mummy as this is the first year. DS is only 8 weeks old, but after struggling to get pregnant & having a horrible traumatic birth I'd like my OH to recognise what I've been through & my new role just as I will do for him on Fathers day. Not looking for him to spend lots of money would just like to be made to feel special. Do not have high hopes however, he's pretty useless when it comes to his own mum.

Quenelle Tue 29-Mar-11 12:02:01

I wouldn't be disappointed, no. Getting a shop-bought card from my husband isn't really what it's about for me.

I would be disappointed if he didn't help DS make something for me when he's old enough though.

My friend got an iphone for Mother's Day last year, from her 4 year old daughter. Totally unnecessary IMO. But I think it's her husband's lack of imagination that's to blame. He doesn't attach any value to children's homemade cards, although I think my friend would have loved it.

Sweetpea215 Tue 29-Mar-11 12:05:39

Wouldn't bother me in the slightest...

It's all sooo commercial.

I've also told hubs NOT to get me flowers on valentines day (as they are UBER expensive then...and a bit of a rip off) but to buy me a bunch another day in the year if he wants to (he does).

candleshoe Tue 29-Mar-11 12:07:34

Home made cards and possibly flowers and brekkie in bed.

Mum2Luke Tue 29-Mar-11 12:08:06

Its nice to gets something but I just like having the kids about and miss my eldest who is at Uni sad

Hubby, DS and I are going to a match together so looks like a beefburger and chips meal on Sunday! grin

Well the DH has bought me a new car after my one had to be scrapped last week so am not complaining if I don't get any flowers from him haha.

BaggedandTagged Tue 29-Mar-11 12:12:43

If DH doesn't get his shit together and get me something from DS (6mths) there is going to be BIG trouble. It's my first mother's day and I want it acknowledged.

ewille Tue 29-Mar-11 12:15:06

I'd be gutted. But I don't think that'll be a problem.

valiumredhead Tue 29-Mar-11 12:17:29

Ds 9 gives me a card he's made and usually makes me breakfast in bed. Last year was toast and slice cucumber and a small bowl of olives! it's hard to be enthusiastic about olives at 7.30 am grin

valiumredhead Tue 29-Mar-11 12:18:06

Oh and dh usually lets ds choose some flowers for me.

Maryz Tue 29-Mar-11 12:25:12

I'm waiting for the short gap between my children being financially independant (i.e. willing to buy me a present) and having their own children.

I reckon I can depend on about 5 years of guilt-induced presents from each of them grin.

At the moment they are beyond making cards in school, but unwilling to buy anything, so my expectations are pretty low.

candleshoe Tue 29-Mar-11 12:26:23

<waves at valium>

Olives confused at dawn !

jugglingjo Tue 29-Mar-11 12:27:08

A couple of hand made or hand illustrated cards from the DC's will make my day grin

A cup of tea at some point would be a bonus brew

But it's DD1's birthday this weekend so mainly we'll be celebrating with her. My DC's birthdays always mean at least as much to me as mother's day, which I agree can feel like one celebration too many. Will have to get something in the post for Granny to keep her happy too !

< slightly cynical and ungrateful emoticon ? OR easily pleased ? >

Swiddle Tue 29-Mar-11 12:31:48

My expectations are zero. I am completely uninterested, and so is my DH. Kids will probably bring home something handmade from school (found later crushed at the bottom of their book bags).

However, for my own mother both a card and flowers are expected, plus probably a present too (to keep up with my siblings), plus I will have to sort out the mother-in-law's gift and cards too, cos DH never really quite manages this.

Extra effort, extra expense, extra tedium. Where's the love in that?

lazylula Tue 29-Mar-11 12:33:25

DH has tried the 'You are not my mother' line on me, but then strangely forgetting that I am not his father on Father's Day when making his 'demands' of what he wants to happen on the day.

Nuttybod Tue 29-Mar-11 12:39:42

At the risk of being shot down in flames I hate mothers day & object to kids being forced to appreciate their mothers/fathers.

I chose to be a mum & do what I do because I choose to so why do I need thanks for it?

Just my opinion

jugglingjo Tue 29-Mar-11 12:41:07

I think the olives confused at dawn says it all really !

halfcaffodils Tue 29-Mar-11 12:42:04

Expect nothing and you won't be disappointed! I wish I could remember that every birthday/Valentines/Mother's Day...
It's not the cards/flowers/chocolates which count for me, I usually get something along those lines. I would like it to be a bit of a special day when the family shows appreciation for everything I do for them, and I get a bit of a treat, a rest and above all with good grace, and no whingeing and arguing. That would be the best Mother's Day present for me - harmony in the house!

mamalovebird Tue 29-Mar-11 12:44:44

I've already been informed DP is going to a footie match on Mother's Day which upset me a bit as I would have loved to spend the day together as a family, but I think he plans to make up for it in advance on Saturday.
On being asked if there was anything I'd like, I simply replied, ' a cleaner'.

Not bothered about a present really but i'd like a card.

Changing2011 Tue 29-Mar-11 12:46:52

I will probably get a nice little handmade card from DD and possibly a cup of tea in bed. Might push for a chocolate croissant but thats my lot. Then I am cooking a huge roast for DP's Mum! Oh well, my Mum is not with us anymore and I might as well..... I will make him wait on me later

I'm not getting one, as I'm a single parent and DD is too old to make one at school now.
It doesn't really bother me.

jugglingjo Tue 29-Mar-11 12:50:53

Hi halfcaffodils - Harmony in the house for a whole day is quite a lot to hope for wink
I think many mothers could do with lowering their expectations for this day to avoid disappointment.
I am quite cynical and see it as a bit of manipulation by consumer society too tbh

If you have some healthy, fairly happy children, clean water to drink, and the sun shines on the daffodils and spring blossom, be happy, people !

halfcaffodils Tue 29-Mar-11 12:52:42

More of a wish than a hope, yes jo! Any fairy godmothers about?

UnquietDad Tue 29-Mar-11 12:55:02

It's looking ahead, but what I want on Fathers' Day is for the family to bugger off and leave me to have a lie-in in peace, then bring me a cup of lovely strong coffee at about 11am, then go out for lunch and be nice to me without anybody moaning that I had a lie-in

mrsbiscuits Tue 29-Mar-11 12:56:09

I think I'd rather have a lay in than a card ;)

jugglingjo Tue 29-Mar-11 12:57:45

Of course I completely get that anything given really needs to be given with good grace wink

Some things have been given with immense charm over the years ( son on doorstep with a bunch of pink tulips a few weeks ago " Happy early mother's day !" ) Other years it's not gone quite so well. eg. tears over something broken etc.

It's one extreme to the other with kids sometimes, isn't it ?

jennymac Tue 29-Mar-11 13:00:18

Dd (aged 4) has been talking about Mothers Day for ages now. Apparently I am getting a card, necklace, ring, flowers, breakfast in bed and will be allowed to watch both Emmerdale and Coronation St! In reality I will get a card and probably either flowers or chocs (or both) and not be allowed near the tv all day!

FollowMe Tue 29-Mar-11 13:02:21

I dont care if I get anything at all, as long as teh occasion is noted in some way and some appreciation is shown.
A cup of tea in bed and a 'happy mothers day' would do just as well as a card or a present would tbh. If it wasnt mentioned at all then I would be gutted.
DS1 has just started school and I think will make a card (he told me he had drawn something but it was a secret the other day!) so that will be lovely.

Haribojoe Tue 29-Mar-11 13:03:01

Personally I wouldn't, partly because we are absolutely skint at the moment and I'd rather DH didn't waste money on it this year.

I would say that a couple of years ago this is the sort of thing that I would have made a massive fuss about. I don't know if it's getting older or going through a challenging few years which have made me really look at my life, values etc and realise that my priorities are a lot different now.

That said I hope all MNers get lovely lie ins bunches of flowers and are totally spoilt grin

Amateurish Tue 29-Mar-11 13:06:23

I didn't get anything for the OH when it was her first mother's day. But then, why would I? I had literally no idea any such thing was expected - she's not my mother! Equally, I don't expect anything from a baby when it comes to father's day...

bonkers20 Tue 29-Mar-11 13:06:32

Yep, I'd be upset. Mother's day was always a big thing for me growing up.
DH knows this and while I don't really need the cards/flowers etc it hurts my feelings when I think he can't be bothered to help the children get a card for me or that now our DS1 is older, that he doesn't remind him to get a card from the shop.
That's the issue really. It annoys me that I make more effort for Father's day than he does for mother's day.

piebald Tue 29-Mar-11 13:07:00

Be quite glad not to, always makes me feel guilty about being so grumpy with them all the time

pingu2209 Tue 29-Mar-11 13:07:39

I would be upset with no card - don't expect presents, flowers or meals out - just a card. In fact a home made one would be better than shop bought. I have not reminded my dh. I am wating to see if he remembers. If he forgets I get more than if he remembers - terrible attitude I know! But if he forgets I may get a meal out etc. Whereas, if he remembers and gives me just a card with a 'sorry' but no money, I can't say anything else!

greygirl Tue 29-Mar-11 13:14:55

i would like breakfast in bed and a card (which i bought myself). i am happy with that (and obviously hugs from children too!).

on father's day my MIL send my DH a card and sometimes a present. Now that does weird me out - he is most definatly not her father!

pranma Tue 29-Mar-11 13:19:38

Never ever expected dh to be involved with my Mothers Day-I'm not his mother!!A home or scool made card and maybe some wildflowers when they were small-maybe a card now but it doesnt bother me at all

mamalovebird Tue 29-Mar-11 13:29:42

For me mothering sunday is about honoring and remembering mums in general and what they give to their children and families. Doesn't matter whether i'm his mother or not. I'm the mother of his child.

The present we give to his mother will be just as much from me as him as she's has gone through all the trails and tribulations with him that I will go through with my DS and brought up a decent, kind man (albeit slightly too obsessed with football though).

Same for father's day. DP isn't my father (thank God) but is DS's father and a brilliant one at that so why shouldn't I be allowed to celebrate that?

ArfurBrain Tue 29-Mar-11 13:41:49

i'd like a card and maybe either a couple of hours to myself (to read, or garden or whatever) Other than that, i don't mind. one son bought me a primrose on his way home from school the other day - with money i had given him to buy a drink for himself! I know I am loved and thought of.

ThisFeelsWeird Tue 29-Mar-11 13:42:21

"Not fussed, it's a ridiculous, contrived, Hallmark sponsored pile of bollocks, like Valentines Day."

Mothering Sunday is actually a date in the liturgical calendar. It's only as Hallmark sponsored as Christmas, depends how you choose to mark it, whether you get caught up in all that or just take a moment to think about those who "mother" us.

BTW, Mothers' Day is an American import - Woodrow Wilson came up with it - they have it in May. Ours is uniquely tied to Easter, and therefore to the Church.

Saltire Tue 29-Mar-11 13:43:32

I like to get a card, especially if DH ahs tkaen teh Dses shoping to get one which they pick. However he's doing crap again this year WRT work and is away so unless he takes them on friday then I won't get one.
present = not bothered

2rebecca Tue 29-Mar-11 13:44:24

I would never expect my ex or current husband to get me a mothers day card. Think that is very weird behaviour. Like it if my 2 remember (usually drop hints) don't mind if they forget.
I don't remind my stepkids to get my husband a fathers day and his ex definitely doesn't. if they get him cards he is happy but not too bothered if they forget.
Find it strange some people expect anyone other than their kids to get them mothers day cards.
I have no expectation of presents. They don't have that much money, although it was sweet when they made stuff at primary school.

theborrower Tue 29-Mar-11 13:56:47

Mamalovebird said: For me mothering sunday is about honoring and remembering mums in general and what they give to their children and families. Doesn't matter whether i'm his mother or not. I'm the mother of his child.

On a similar note, I've got to admit that I was a bit miffed when I asked my mum what we were all doing for mother's day, and she said something like "Why are you asking me??? I don't need to organise anything for you, your DH needs to" with a big angry tone. COming from my mum who gets annoyed if she isn't taken out for a lunch.

It's my first mother's day and I'm not expecting a present or anything, I'd honestly be happy with a nice gesture, perhaps a cup of tea in bed and a card. But it would also be nice for some people (like my mum!) to acknowledge that's it my first Mother's Day and you know what, we (baby and I) had a pretty tough start. I don't think a nice gesture and a 'well done' would go amiss.

DH and I got cats about 18 mnths ago. Last year, with no kids at all I wasn't expecting anything, but got a card from my 'DCs' (darling cats) instead - made me laugh. Not expecting anything this year though, think they just had novelty value last year <grin>

cocoachannel Tue 29-Mar-11 14:00:20

It's my first, DD will be five weeks on Sunday. For the first time in the seven years we've been together DH has bought the cards for his Mum and even mine, so I'll be a bit hmm if I don't get one!

figcake Tue 29-Mar-11 14:04:36

DH wont even be here - he will be with my horrible old MIL - they do not even have Mother's day on the same date in their country. We only realised the dates clashed after he had ordered his tickets. I am not fussed tbh. I expect a fancy meal around the date though no more special than I get several times a year really. I love the card which DS brought home from school last year - Not sure how many more years of that left though sad

LittleOneMum Tue 29-Mar-11 14:05:13

If I don't get a card from DS (3) and DD (11 months) there will be tears. grin

bebejones Tue 29-Mar-11 14:26:19

DD is 2.7 so doesn't really 'know' about Mothers day! I doubt DH will remember & he has more important stuff going on than worrying about getting me a card etc. So I'll probably get up on my own with DD in the morning & take her to church on my own where I might possibly get given some daffodils!

Woodlands Tue 29-Mar-11 14:26:31

It's my first Mother's Day as a mother so I'm kind of hoping DH might get me a bunch of flowers and a lie in. Recently it was DH's birthday and I tried to get DS (8 months) to scribble on some paper to make a card with - it wasn't terribly successful as he just wanted to eat the crayon! A handprint would have been a better idea, I might try that for Father's Day. I don't think it would occur to DH to do anything for me on Sunday but I suspect his mum will have had a word!

My mum hates Mother's Day, she thinks it's the Church's way of celebrating women for one day a year and relegating them to making the tea for the other 364. so I've never sent cards etc to her - I just give her a call at some point.

LittleMumSmall Tue 29-Mar-11 14:28:39

Won't be bothered, really. DH has learned in the past two years to remember Valentine's Day but don't think Mother's Day is on his radar yet - DS still tiny and DD not here yet!

HecateTheCrone Tue 29-Mar-11 14:30:29

I already know I won't be getting anything. My eldest told me he is sending a card to "mama peach" hmm and my youngest hasn't got a clue about mother's day, and I don't want my husband to organise anything because a) I'm not his mother grin ) and b) it would be a forced, fake gesture just for the sake of getting something, which imo renders it meaningless.

It'd be nice if the kids wanted to spoil me <sob> but since they don't, <shrug> ne'mind.

thinNigella Tue 29-Mar-11 14:32:35

I expect cards, diamonds, sunshine, birds singing, flowers and chocolates.

What's wrong with that?

TBJP Tue 29-Mar-11 14:34:00

This is my first mother's day as a mum, and I am really not bothered if I get a card or not! Really! I've got my baby and my DH, and I don't need a card to tell me anything! I think I'll like cards when DS is old enough to make them himself, but I am not bothered about DH getting one from the shop for me.

LaWeasel Tue 29-Mar-11 14:34:13

As I have moaned on many threads, we are broke so I'm not 'getting' anything.

Thus: I would like homemade cake, a lie in... in fact a friend is visiting that day, so maybe we could go out and DH could babysit... grin

I'd be bloody tamping if I got a 'mothers day' card on Mothering Sunday.

Mother's Day is not the same thing as Mothering sunday when girls in service used to return home to visit their family and take/make the simnel cake for easter.

DP knows I have very strong feelings on the subject - bit then he does as well. Before we got together he delivered a lovely planted flower arrangement to me on behalf of littlemad on my first mothering sunday. (exh had buggered off by then)

My mum usually comes to church with us, we have lunch and there are flowers for all the Mothers in our family.

Littlemad and I usually plant our sunflower seeds on Mothering Sunday as well.

That said littlemad often 'buys' a bunch of flowers for me while we're out shoppng and DP regularly does so. they know I'm the only one who can work the cooker and we all like it that way. i look after them, they look after me

Drizzela Tue 29-Mar-11 14:47:03

I've never got a present as not with DD's dad. It all depends on how much fuss the dad makes I think. I always get something 'beautiful' made by my DD (now 5) and she loves giving me a gift. It means so much more than some old tat bought by her dad could whether I was with him or not.

i always spoil my ma though in the hope that DD notices and in turn spoils me when she's earning

Drizzela Tue 29-Mar-11 14:47:49

Still holding out for a step mum card though... sad

asdx2 Tue 29-Mar-11 14:57:19

My lot all buy me cards and presents grin Dh will take dd 8 shopping so that she can choose something herself (or for herself seeing as she usually chooses a teddy) Dh will order flowers from ds 16 (autism so not able to choose for himself) and the oldest three will buy books, cds and slippers.
I'd be upset if I didn't get a card and a hug but the presents are just extras.

mylovelymonster Tue 29-Mar-11 14:57:26

My expectations - that no-one's ill and the sun shines. That would be perfect smile

Drizzela Tue 29-Mar-11 14:59:50

asdx2 You've got that lot well trained grin

HappyAsIAm Tue 29-Mar-11 15:03:34

I'd be happy with a card. Preferably hand made. And I'd be even happier with a nice hot bath run for me with bubbles, a cup of coffee and a little bit of time to myself to relax eg DH making dinner, bathing and putting DS to bed on his own etc.

I don't want a material gift, but I know that DH will get me something from DS, even if it is a little box of chocolates.

friendlyedjit Tue 29-Mar-11 15:05:51

Woul love peaceful day with no bickering between dd 2 nd 3, and perhaps the appearance of dc5 pre post mature section booked for Monday! Other than that, expect little and hopefully all will be a lovely day Don't need flowers etc

DuelingFanjo Tue 29-Mar-11 15:16:27

I'm a new mum and am not expecting anything. the baby is too young and I'd be surprised if DH remembered.

doireallywant3 Tue 29-Mar-11 15:29:05

last year i bought myself a card & gift (dd was 7mo) and gave them to dh to write and give to me!! this year he has been instructed to sort something out himself. i will be disappointed if he doesn't.

Hullygully Tue 29-Mar-11 15:31:42

God yes. I expect at least two cups of tea, Sunday papers, breakfast made and cards and presents. Then dinner made and cleared up later and generally not having to do anything except tend to my own pleasure.

It doesn't always work out like that.

CrosswordAddict Tue 29-Mar-11 15:36:03

All I ask is that everyone is fit and well and there is no bickering. The rest doesn't really matter tbh.

Fillybuster Tue 29-Mar-11 15:40:38

Over-commercialised, cynical, marketing bumf. Rather like Valentines Day.

I expect tea and papers in bed, and a card would be nice if dh gets the time to make one with the dcs, but its hardly my birthday or anything. Flowers/chocolate/presents emphatically not required We're taking my MIL out for lunch for her birthday, anyway - possibly not my preferred mothers day activity, but hey ho grin

jugglingjo Tue 29-Mar-11 15:45:34

asdx2 - I was quite surprised to read DD8. I nearly fell off my chair at DS16 grin Then I realised wink Hope you all have a lovely day brew

PureNewWoolWithPerfectStitches Tue 29-Mar-11 15:50:16

IT IS NOT A HALLMARK HOLIDAY. Of all the holidays this one actually has real historical merit here if you are interested
I expect breakfast in bed, cards and flowers! Oh yes. I work hard being a good mother to my dc and once a year a day for them to say thanks is really great.
I do like Mrs Schnedfreud's (sp I know but too lazy to re-find her post) answer to her dh.
I also like spoiling my mum and MIL - more than ever now we have our own dc, DH and I appreciate what they have done for us.
I'm shocked by the low expectations of so many. There are alot of dh and dc who could do with a kick up the arse about appreciating the role of a mother.
<here endeth the lecture>

kansasmum Tue 29-Mar-11 15:53:13

A lie in and someone else to cook AND clean up dinner plus a card would suffice. My eldest 2 are teenagers and do buy me a card/present by themselves but my little boy is only 4 so dh will have to help him- DH is CRAP at card/presents from DS- I don't get a birthday card from DS- he just gets added on the end of dh's card which if I am really honest upsets me. I make an effort for dh on Father's day and his Birthday so would be nice if he made a bit of an effort.

We are away this Mother's day and I am booked into the Spa for the morning - but of course had to book it myself!!!

I will organise cards and flowers for my mum and my mum -in -law cos if its left to dh she will get nothing!

kansasmum Tue 29-Mar-11 15:55:11

PureNewWoolWithPerfectStitches

I agree with you!

scaryteacher Tue 29-Mar-11 15:55:39

To avoid disappointment I organise my own present, then I get what I want!

HecateTheCrone Tue 29-Mar-11 16:02:12

Ta for the link, PNW. So, basically, its root has got bog all to do with actual mothers at all? It's a church thing? and became a day for families to get together - servants day off - and then people decided to change it from a religious thing into a day to celebrate mothers?

sort of like how christmas used to be about the birth of christ and is now about families getting together and getting lots of presents?

I'm sensing a theme here grin

Knackeredmother Tue 29-Mar-11 16:03:35

Would lOve a homemade card and a bunch of daffodils chosen by dcs. My brother gets his wife expensive spa days and their kids are teenagers with shed loads of savings/ability to get something small themselves.
Madness expecting expensive presents (as many of my friends do)

GeorgeT Tue 29-Mar-11 16:05:40

Mothering Sunday is important. I always emember my Mum as it is day for thanking Mums for all they do. A small gift possibly breakfast/tea in bed and a day together. No expensive meals at restaurants or expensive flowers (The big rip off) Dad has been trained. He is working away this year and I think he has it sorted.... we will see.

PureNewWoolWithPerfectStitches Tue 29-Mar-11 16:08:51

YY Hecate - it is a bit but it did start as a celebration of the mother goddess so it was always about mothers.

Basically it's nothing to do with bloody Hallmark. I suspect the women who say that are towing the party line of the men in their lives who can't be bothered to do anything....

Oh and thanks Kansasmum smile

knitonepernilleone Tue 29-Mar-11 16:29:03

It doesn't bother me in the slightest, but we don't make much of a fuss about Fathers' Day either.

A card from the children is nice but I won't be having a sulk if I don't get one grin.

AnnVeronica Tue 29-Mar-11 16:32:43

I'm shock at the DH/Ps who say "You're not my mother". You may not be their mother but you're raising their children!

How difficult is it to organise a card, small treat, breakfast in bed, etc? Especially if your DCs are too young to do this themselves. I'm against any overspending but small gestures make you feel appreciated.

knitonepernilleone Tue 29-Mar-11 16:41:37

Ah, now, I'm lucky in that I feel appreciated all year round. Maybe that's why is doesn't bother me.

<remembers to give lovely dh a BIG kiss when he comes in grin>

plupedantic Tue 29-Mar-11 16:46:38

I hate cards in general, and think that a letter or long proper phone call (or, maybe even a present!) is better than some overpriced piece of recycling which isn't personal in any way.

Greenshadow Tue 29-Mar-11 17:07:04

Not in the least bothered about flowers, but DH has usually organised some chocolates from the DC.

Now they are older and go in to town by themselves, it's nice to get a very little something chosen by them personally - last year DS3 who was 11 and at that age when they first venture in to town with friends, bought some fabric flowers from the 99p shop ! Were actually quite nice (as these things go) and I still have them.

Figgyrolls Tue 29-Mar-11 17:11:28

I am not worried about a present but I would quite like a card having had another dc since last year! However I think dh will remember - he gave me a card from the children on valentines so perhaps mothers day isn't beyond the realms of possibility. Of course I have already sent him a reminder via email at work that it is happening this weekend wink just to be sure.

FionaJT Tue 29-Mar-11 17:17:03

I'm a single parent, dd is 6 so I get whatever school/nursery arrange, and that is fine. However for my first mothers day when dd was 3 months my mum sorted something on her behalf, which was very sweet as my family usually don't go in for more than the bare minimum of card/present buying.

TheNumberTaker Tue 29-Mar-11 17:33:06

*PureNewWool" it was me that said it was a Hallmark holiday and I stand by that. "Hallmarkisation" in the sense of utterly cynical, divisive and an excuse for pointless consumption, and recriminations if you don't buy into it. Just like Valentines Day and the bastardisation of Christmas and Easter. Just like weddings. I also added a later post about the original meaning of "Mothering Sunday" and "Mother's Day", the former having nothing to do with mothers, but returning to your parish, and the latter being a relatively American import, as mentioned by someone else.

And FYI, I have a mind of my own, I don't need my views to be fed to me by my DH, thanks. He, in fact, loves all of this bollocks. It's taken me 6 years to persuade him to stop buying me valentines rubbish. He will not countenance low key birthdays. I know I will get woken up from my lie in with breakfast in bed, card and flowers on Sunday. It's his way. However, he'd do that sort of stuff any time of the year too (and does frequently) just because he's a nice person and doesn't need "special days" to show his appreciation. If my children, when they're old enough, don't want to do Mothers' Day, that's their call. IMO, expecting this type of empty gesture from your children/husband is emotional blackmail.

TheNumberTaker Tue 29-Mar-11 17:35:14

relatively recent American import

MaureenMLove Tue 29-Mar-11 17:38:09

DD (15) has just 'fessed up' about the card she'd bought me. 'It was lovely', she said, 'had glitter on it, all sparkly, girlie and pink. Trouble is, when I got it home and looked at it again, it says, 'from your little boy!''

What a plank!

Looks like DH doesn't have to bother going out for one for his mum now! grin

A card, a kiss, a cuddle and 'Happy Mother's Day' will do for me. Anything extra is lovely but I don't expect it.

feralgirl Tue 29-Mar-11 17:50:57

DS and I will make cards for Granny and Nanny. Whether or not anyone remembers to do the same with him for me is a different matter entirely! As a family we don't really bother but this year it falls on my mum's birthday so we're all going out for the day, my MiL as well.

Traditionally I buy my mum some liquorice allsorts in order to get one-up on my brother who never gets her anything grin

I am off sick atm so if DH brings me something nice for breakfast on Sunday then I'll be extra-specially happy.

Chaotica Tue 29-Mar-11 17:55:36

I expect nothing. I find it mildly offensive (that's a personal view, you understand).

But if anyone forgets my birthday on the same day, I'll be fuming.

Anythingwithagiraffeonit Tue 29-Mar-11 18:02:24

It's my first one and I think I'll cry if I don't get the 'mummy' card I've been so looking forward to!

I also want a pink hood for my bugaboo... So I've asked for it for mothers day ;) I won't cry if I don't get that though!

toomuchmonthatendofthemoney Tue 29-Mar-11 18:38:25

i have been reading bits of this thread out to DH, esp the origins and roots of mothering sunday, pretending its simply cos its interesting (it IS, thanks for those links) but ALSO to make sure its sunk in it is this weekend!! DS is 4 and might make something at nursery, but i would love a homemade card and maybe a small homemade something from him to keep so have now primed DH!

CrystalStair Tue 29-Mar-11 18:45:29

Of course I would be disappointed. Like it when they make them themselves. But I have a feeling DH has plans up his sleeve too - he and DD1 are plotting things...I always did stuff for my mum. Why wouldn't you?

PureNewWoolWithPerfectStitches Tue 29-Mar-11 18:47:44

LOL! Touchy much Numbertaker? Sounds like you don't care about it because you are spoiled so often it's nothing special. For those of us (99.9% of the population) who aren't spoilt all year then it's nice to be spoiled on at least one day a year.

As for "IMO, expecting this type of empty gesture from your children/husband is emotional blackmail." How sad that your find your children and husband's gestures empty. I know mine will be very much heartfelt.

Re. it's roots see post from: ThisFeelsWeird Tue 29-Mar-11 13:42:21

PureNewWoolWithPerfectStitches Tue 29-Mar-11 18:48:25

its roots not it's roots <pedant in self hangs head in shame>

CrystalStair Tue 29-Mar-11 18:49:42

Agree with PureNWWPS - it is heartfelt from my kids and DH. It ws from me to my mum. Calling it emotional blackmail is quite odd.

I don't care about Mother's day one bit. My husband and children are my most precious gift and it is enough. I'd rather go out and have a nice day when things aren't twice the price too.

CrystalStair Tue 29-Mar-11 18:53:01

No need to go out though.

BrokenRing Tue 29-Mar-11 19:00:08

I would hope to get a card, and usually I get little presents - chocolates or something. I always buy my mother a card and a gift and if possible, invite her and my father for Sunday lunch. Usually I help DP buy the right card for his mum and help work out a present for her too.

I always buy cards with Mothering Sunday on it as that's the origin of it all. It sounds a lot nicer than Mothers Day.

DilysPrice Tue 29-Mar-11 19:03:53

You know what? I don't care how heart-felt and authentic my lie in and brew are, they can be as guilt-tripped as you like as long as I get them.

jugglingjo Tue 29-Mar-11 19:46:41

LOL at DilysPrice grin
Those posts are why I love MN !

TheNumberTaker Tue 29-Mar-11 19:50:01

Ah well, PureNewWool, I am touchy about being accused of not having my own views, as I'm not living in the 1950s or subjugated by the men in my life. Is it like that for you, then?

As for gestures. My DD picks me daisies or fallen leaves and makes little bouquets with them for me. She runs out of every pre-school session with some artwork she's done with a, "Look what I've done for you, Mummy!" She climbs onto my lap and tells me she loves me every day. DH buys me books he's read about in the papers he thinks I'll like. He does the early shift with the baby 6 mornings a week to give me a break. He sends me emails every now and then telling me how he feels about the kids and me. I could cite a hundred other things that mean more to me than a card on a prescribed day in the year.

pointydog Tue 29-Mar-11 19:51:01

I expect a card and breakfast in bed. I'd be mighty disappointed if I didn't get them.

jugglingjo Tue 29-Mar-11 19:54:16

Does sound like you are one of the lucky ones though, NumberTaker.

Mother's Day, if it's for anyone, is most for those who aren't thought of enough during the rest of the year.

(As well as the card manufacturers of course grin )

goodbyemrschips Tue 29-Mar-11 19:55:30

I expect stuff and a good day.

To those that don't care are you expecting nothing and therefore a tiny bit jealous.lol

goodbyemrschips Tue 29-Mar-11 19:57:04

NUMBER TAKER......I get all that too....but mums day is well mums day.

Do you do anything for your mum past or present or do you just ignore it.

The DCs usually make something nice at school - I will be happy with anything. I kindof wish DH would get me a card but he never does - his family don't celebrate it, never have done. We usually go out as a family on Mother's Day, organised by me, grrr.

This year we will be concentrating on my mum on Mother's Day, as my dad died very recently. We are going to stay the weekend with her and take her out for a curry.

libbyssister Tue 29-Mar-11 20:05:40

It's my birthday on Sunday too so my expectations are high. I think the Mother's Day thing will be swept aside by my lavish birthday celebrations (ha ha). Kinda peeved that it's all rolled into one and doubt that it will be doubly special.

jugglingjo Tue 29-Mar-11 20:10:12

It might be though, Libby ? Could be a great day smilebrew

libbyssister Tue 29-Mar-11 20:18:11

You're right, juggling, maybe I'll be pleasantly surprised

Three small children have sapped my optimism today...

PureNewWoolWithPerfectStitches Tue 29-Mar-11 20:38:23

LOL! Oh yes, numbertaker, dh's tea is on the table every night and I wait at the door with his pipe and slippers. I certainly can't think for myself...<pretty thoughts, kittens, butterflies>.
Oh and me, dh and dc all tell each other we love each other several times a day but it's not so much telling me they love me (I know that) but showing they appreciate all the mundane, crappy stuff I do for them all the time.
It's obvious you can't understand where I'm coming from so we'll have to agree to differ.
I shall thoroughly enjoy being spoilt and my dc will love doing the spoiling so I'm happy.

TheNumberTaker Tue 29-Mar-11 20:40:16

No, I do not do anything for my mother on Mother's Day. It means nothing vis a vis our relationship.

My husband always does something for his mum, and as I love them both a lot and this means something significant between them, I'll make an effort for her (and him). I made a card today with DD's assistance for him to send, MIL likes homemade things from the gcs. I'll pick out a gift to give her when we see her next month.

TeaOneSugar Tue 29-Mar-11 20:43:31

I managed to get a non sloppy card for my mother quite easily this year, which was great. Why do card makers assume every Mother is wonderful?

I'm being taken out for lunch by dd and dh, most of dh's side of the family will be there. I'm taking my mother out for coffee in the morning with dd.

Hopefully there will be a cup of tea in bed and a nice card.

springydaffs Tue 29-Mar-11 20:48:17

I find it hard to find a card for my mum too - that is, with the right wording. But that's because I'd like to go completely overboard with the sloppiest card I can find, but she hates that stuff and I have to keep it low key.

If I don't get a card from my dc's I will be upset and disappointed. They have been v v v v v v (6) horrible for the past few years but remembering me on mother's day will go some way to easing the hurt!

AletheaFlorence Tue 29-Mar-11 20:48:26

A card would be nice , it's my first year as the Mum, yay!

rockinhippy Tue 29-Mar-11 20:56:33

Yes definitely,

I will get a lovely home made card from DD ....though she's taken to making me earrings lately ...& insisting I wear them & gets very upset if I don't wear them long enoughshock

& expect Chocolates from DHgrin

though I couldn't give a flying one over Valentines day, Wedding Anniversary or anything else, so I think DH has got it pretty easy really grin - though that said he's really good with things like that - its ME whos rubbishblush

emmanumber3 Tue 29-Mar-11 20:58:42

I don't particularly want or expect anything more than a hug & for the DC's to say "Happy Mothers Day". DS1 is 13 & autistic and always feels like he has to get me something just because all the tat exists in the shops. Therefore, the only reason I hope DH takes the DC's shopping is because DS1 will be distressed if it gets to the day and he hasn't bought anything sad.

Also, it's DS2's 10th Birthday on the same day this year, which is far more important IMO. smile

I'd like a card, and maybe some flowers (I've had both every year since I was pg) soppy I know, but it's nice.

Also, I don't understand the attitude of DH's (and some MNes tbh) that you're not his mum. WHile this is true, you are the mother of his children, no? (Well, not in all circumstances, but you get what I mean in my sweeping generalisation ) So why should he not appreciate the care and love you give your children? Likewise on Fathers' Day for him. DH and I are basically showing our appreciation for each other being such loving and supporting parents.

Phew, that was really soppy, second one of the day! what is wrong with me??

I will be getting a card, most likely one made by DD1 at nursery and we are spending the day at Brands Hatch for the opening rounds of the BTCC - best way to spend any Sunday let alone mothers day!

DH is away with the army for mothering Sunday. As he was for my birthday, Valentine's day, dd2's first birthday, the death of my grandad and my aunt and both funerals (all in the last 7 weeks). So no, I don't expect anything from him - and I've learned not to care.

On the bright side, DD1 made a nice card at nursery, which made me cry in front of her key worker. Lovely!

Happylander Tue 29-Mar-11 21:30:12

I thought it wouldn't bother me. However, having received a card through the post this morning addressed to mummy, posted from my DH in Afghan which made me smile so much I think it would have bothered me if I hadn't got one. Although normally think it's a load of marketing twaddle. Always get my mum one though grin

Happylander Tue 29-Mar-11 21:32:17

FrozenNorthPole I am sorry your DH has missed so much and not been their to support you. That must have been hard for you. I hope your DD's make you smile on mothers day.

goodbyemrschips Tue 29-Mar-11 21:39:57

It is good marketing I agree.

Do all the people that dont bother do the old Christmas thing then or does that just pass by?

SpeedyGonzalez Tue 29-Mar-11 22:14:15

I've given up on hoping for a surprise on Mother's Day/ birthdays/ Xmas and then being disappointed. I now adopt the 'ask and you don't get' approach; so I've already instructed DH that we shall be doing something nice as a family, rather than going out with friends, as he wanted.

Mother's Day was originally invented for genuine, not commercial reasons, but has since been hijacked by any seller who can. Doesn't bother me, as I always get made cards, which are far lovelier.

this is my 4th mother's day, and DH will be away, as he has been for2 others.
fortunately I know DS is doing something at nursery

JenAT Tue 29-Mar-11 22:27:07

I might be getting a new born baby. Due date on mon 4th, so a baby on mothers day would be quite nice. Beat that!

vmcd28 Tue 29-Mar-11 22:36:31

I'd be furious if it wasn't acknowledged in some way, eg a card with a lovely message in it. I don't want a lot spent - there's no need - but I'd be really offended if it wasn't even mentioned, as seems to be the case for a lot of people here. I don't care whether its a Hallmark thing or not but we get so caught up with life that it's really lovely to make people have a reason to remember that there is one person they can always rely on. Hurray for mums everywhere.

weegiemum Tue 29-Mar-11 22:41:25

I hate mothers day.

When I was 12, my Mum asked for a couple of hours to herself to "sort things" in her room.

Turned out she was packing, she left (with my Dad's best friend, her lover of some 3 years) the next day.

I grin and bear it for my children, but there is nothing can take away from the fact that my mother left us the next day.

I get flowers, an Easter Egg (whcih I choke down) and hand made cards. I give the kids Easter eggs too!

I hate the day - but my children think I love it. I suppose one day I wil have to tell them the truth, but for now, they think they give me a lovely day and I don't have the heart to disillusion them in in any way!

mam Tue 29-Mar-11 22:48:52

I used to do it for my mum and as the years went by sometimes I think it really mattered to her to get something other times it seems too commercial. I feel the same really. Would rather get something as and when they see something they know I would like than just get something because it's the day.

Seeing the price of cards of lovely cards I have dropped heavy hints that I would rather have a homemade card and a few packets of mints and no present necessary!

vmcd28 Tue 29-Mar-11 22:51:13

Weegie, that's hellish, but try to enjoy it from the angle that your kids are spoiling you, rather than your mum leaving. You won't ever do that to your family, so enjoy knowing how much different you are x

blackeyeddog Tue 29-Mar-11 22:51:16

Last year I got a nice card made by ds at school and two books dh got me from The Works in the high street.

Book one was called Clear the Clutter! or somesuch (how to housework guide) ans some Victorian reproduction thing probably called A Victorian Ladee. Both immediately dispatched to the loft.

COCKadoodledooo Tue 29-Mar-11 22:53:06

I know I shall be getting at least one card, because I helped ds2 make it at toddlers this morning. Unfortunately he appears to have written his very first word in it - "Fattie" shock

hellymelly Tue 29-Mar-11 22:59:15

JenAt,that would be the best Mother's day present EVER !!
As to me,I would be erm...more than slightly annoyed if I didn't get anything.Not with the DDs,with DH,as they are too small to organise anything without help.I like to have a nice family day doing something that makes the girls happy without driving us too nuts.Usually DH buys me something and the girls choose something themselves which he pays for (they are only 6 and 3).

lurkerspeaks Tue 29-Mar-11 23:02:33

My Mother always ask for well behaved children.

Hopefully at 33, 29 and 24 we will finally be able to oblige. However, I'm working and sis will be up a mountain so bro is in charge of buying / delivering a present.

Despite my attempts to get him to do otherwise she will be lucky to get a bunch of flowers and box of chocolates purchased from the garage / supermarket en route.

Just as well she loves us!

LadyLapsang Tue 29-Mar-11 23:03:34

It's not Mother's Day - that's commercial rubbish - it's Mothering Sunday...

lizzielawson Tue 29-Mar-11 23:06:00

No. I would rather my children remembered my birthday. Years ago I lost a baby over Mothers' Day, so now I accept the cards they have made for me with a good grace, but as they enter their teens and the "can't be bothered" stage, I won't grieve for a Mothers' Day card. The rest of the country doesn't know when my birthday is, so it makes it more personal when they remember it. My siblings and I have to make a big fuss over our mother with visits and cards etc so it makes it into a bit of a chore really.

TINKERBELLE33 Tue 29-Mar-11 23:44:03

I'll be happy with a card from both DC. The first Mothers Day after having DC2 DH pulled out all the stops - chocs, flowers and a huge card. Shame I had to return the card as he forgot we now had 2 DC!

startail Wed 30-Mar-11 00:12:56

Trying to persuade DD's I do not need a present, have just treated myself to an ipod to connect to my car, if I borrow theirs I get their playlists biscuit

If they buy me a present they will simply blag extra pocket money to pay for it.
Bunch of flowers off Dh would be nice, but that will only happen if I remember to get him to go to Tescos on the way home on Friday. Not paying the florist in towns Mother's day prices.
He 's much better at mornings than me and gets DD1 off on her, horribly early bus and brews me coffee to get me started everyday. Normal at weekends he ordanises breakfast in bed, Mothers day he probably won't because DD1 is needed for the church choir.

skippitydoodah Wed 30-Mar-11 00:23:12

Not bothered if I get nowt. Mind you, people like it if they get something to show they are loved and appreciated.

Squiffie Wed 30-Mar-11 00:30:00

I asked my DH not to get me anything - I know my LO love me all year round!! As it happens this year I'm very lucky in being able to spend a lovely weekend away with my two babies!

supersalstrawberry Wed 30-Mar-11 00:32:47

Yeah I'd be gutted

but I'm not bothered about gifts if I'm honest, a card and a some pampering would be welcomed (by pampering I mean a cup of tea and some other bugger can clean the bath for a change!)

and yes I get the hallmark thing, but there imo there is nothing wrong in having a day when all my toil is appreciated, and yes even if it means my dc and dh have to be prompted by hallmark

Morloth Wed 30-Mar-11 01:04:06

I don't give a damn if it is a commercialised hallmark holiday.

I had better get some pressies and a lie in and a nice lunch or I will have a tantrum. If DS1 makes a card that will be fussed over, but not bought cards, I just chuck 'em, bought cards are pointless.

You have to be a leettle bit difficult or people will get in the habit of forgetting you are actually a person and start expecting you to pick up their socks for them, seems to be a pretty common theme on Mumsnet.

Fuck that.

jjkm Wed 30-Mar-11 01:48:56

It is my first mother's day, and I want nothing at all. DH has been very helpful with the new twins, and that is better than any gift he could give.

wabbit Wed 30-Mar-11 01:53:42

I expect it will be about MY mum (as usual) <<muttercuttermuttercuttermuttercutter>> grrrrrrrrrrrrr!

ElenStone Wed 30-Mar-11 03:31:16

I'd be disappointed, DS is usually really thoughtful, so it'd be a shock. He's been asking for gemstones, wire and beads to make stuff lately, so I get the impression he's going to make me some jewellery this year. Which will be lovely, until I have to wear it wink

whoamamma Wed 30-Mar-11 03:59:23

I was just hoping for a day with dd and dh (first mothers day for me). Dh has invited pil and sil over. Great <insert sarcastic emoticon here>.

iscream Wed 30-Mar-11 05:20:03

My dh never gives me a card or present on Mothers Day. He says I am not his mother. Hmpt! He always works on Sundays anyways, and leaves early to go visit him mom first on MD. But he did make sure the kids always had present and cards when they were little, now they remember on their own. They make me dinner and watch chick flicks with me without complaint, lol.
I would be very sad if the kids forgot me on Mothers Day.

weegiemum Wed 30-Mar-11 08:30:11

<<<eeeeeeek>>>>>

A "little birdie" (ie dh) has suggested that this year as well as the normal stuff of flowers and Easter Eggs and misery, there may just be a pair of baby guinea pigs coming my way! I have been bereft of pigginess since last August (RIP Benny) and I love my piggies, so this year could be a turning point ........

Fanilla Wed 30-Mar-11 09:20:23

I got a tumble drier last year.

This year I just want to not have to do anything for the day. A proper day off!

mamalovebird Wed 30-Mar-11 09:50:12

Weegie - I know how you feel - my father died on Father's day so it can be a touch melancholic but I just have to let that go and enjoy it for my DP as it's his day now & I'd hate my DS growing up remembering me being all gloomy on father's day!

Good on you for not letting it get the better of you

Cards & a pressie chosen by DD would be nice.

'Spect I'll end up with not much though - DH is rubbish like that

mamalovebird Wed 30-Mar-11 09:58:35

I also find it hard with the plethora of 'aren't you a wonderful mother' type cards. My mum was the furthest thing away from being wonderful, caring supportive. In fact she was a cow who threw me out on my 16th birthday. But that was then and after nearly 20 years, we sort of have a relationship again, not that I'll ever forgive her for how she treated me. However, she is my mum and if I am adult enough to have built a few bridges I should also acknowledge her as my mum.

Although, her being crap has just taught me how to be everythign she wasn't so enjoy the day for you weegie, don't think about your mum.

QueenBathsheba Wed 30-Mar-11 10:06:34

I have bought my own, DH is useless and with 2 DS I have come to the conclusion that I should just either treat myself or go without.

I took the DS to buy my mother a gift, we have chosen an old leather bound copy of the Water Babies because it was the first book she ever read.

anniemac Wed 30-Mar-11 10:06:57

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Housemum Wed 30-Mar-11 10:07:28

I wouldn't expect a card from DH himself, but I expect him to make sure the kids have either done something at school (the youngest 2) or gone to buy a card (don't think 6th form college does cutting & sticking!) Not fussed about a present, just having no housework to do that day would be my ideal. In my mind, that means him cleaning surfaces/washing up/cooking. In his mind that means cooking and leaving the clearing up for me to do the next day when he's at work! He even mentioned the idea of going to play golf on Sunday as he's missing Saturday's usual morning round so we can take the kids out. My look frightened birds out of the trees...

As he forgot my birthday yesterday, he knows he is in the doghouse already, so any slip-ups on Sunday and he'll be sleeping in the shed!

wilbur Wed 30-Mar-11 10:38:42

My dcs are past the point of bringing cards home from nursery/school so dh does usually get them to at least sign a card he has bought. My ideal would be a bunch of daffs and the afternoon on the sofa watching a musical, so not a huge expecatation, but something of one. I never know what dh is going to do for days like these though, he is very random. We generally just do little tokens of affection at Valentines, for instance, but this year he went crazy and bought 2 really special gifts and I gave him 3/4 of a packet of Smarties....

chocadoodle Wed 30-Mar-11 11:06:25

DS (2) is making his first Mothers Day card at playgroup this morning. He told me earlier

I told DH not to bother buying another card or flowers, really annoys me how they bump the price up for the occasion. That said, I bought my own Mum flowers yesterday for Mothers Day. I figured she'd get a nicer bunch for a tenner than she would if I were to buy them at the weekend, and she didn't mind having them early. DH will buy MIL some over the weekend and will probably get 6 flowers for the same price, but it'd be the end of the world if she was given them any day apart from Sunday hmm.

What I'd really like is a lie in and dinner cooked for me for a change but that's not likely.

We have a tradition in this house, that on birthdays and mothers/fathers days, the person it's for gets to relax all day and gets a 'day off'. So, just hoping for a lie in and for DH or the kids to make me tea when requested... I will also get my Mum something nice and go and visit her.

DH's mum wasn't much of a mum (understatement!) and I used to struggle to find a card that kept the wording simple and not about how wonderful she was/wasn't. Unfortunately she died in February, DH is still a bit raw from it (they hadn't spoken for a few years). I have asked him how he would like me to be and he said not to mention anything to him about her and to enjoy it for myself, bless him!

knittedbreast Wed 30-Mar-11 11:26:45

i never get anything, my oh dousnt bother. I dont care though!

Tamashii Wed 30-Mar-11 11:26:51

I doubt I will get anything for Mother's Day as we are absolutely skint and DH is always reminding me how completely skint we are so I might get a card but that is it. I don't care this year though because if he DID go out and get me stuff from DS I would just feel guilty since "we are skint!!!" would be ringing in my ears.

SIL on the other hand is getting a spa weekend with her best friend which would be amazing. How the other half live ;)

Housemum Wed 30-Mar-11 12:00:48

Tamashii - he could just make an effort with DS to give you a nice day - depending on how old DS is they could make you breakfast in bed, or make dinner? Even if it's beans on toast it's a treat if someone else makes it and washes up

PlanetEarth Wed 30-Mar-11 12:18:41

Agree with Housemum - I'd rather have attention - and someone else to do my jobs - than presents smile.

SpeedyGonzalez Wed 30-Mar-11 15:21:44

Mamalovebird what a great attitude you have.

Weegie - how awful. Reading between the lines it sounds as though you're still in a lot of pain over this, however submerged it may be. sad

cory Wed 30-Mar-11 17:42:48

Tamashii, my Mother's Day treat has always been tea (cold water when they were too little to boil the kettle) and toast in bed, and then fish fingers and beans for dinner. The treat is that dcs prepare it (with help from dh in early years). By now, dcs have got to an age where they could, frankly, cook a much better meal, and we could afford a meal ot- but fish fingers and beans have got to be Mother's Day tradition. It's the I-did-this-for-you bit that matters. Even a very small child can help to dish up beans on a plate.

figcake Thu 31-Mar-11 22:18:49

That is lovely Cory

mmmerangue Fri 01-Apr-11 13:47:33

Fairly confident that MIL will have goaded my partner into buying me something 'from our 5 week old son'. In exchange i will probably have to buy her a card.... unless he thinks to get two!

When he's older I hope that DP will also help him make cards etc as I always did for my parents, and plan to on fathers day... But really a big cuddle and maybe a cup of tea in bed sounds like a good deal! I don't think i'll be too precious ;)

I have low expectations - the two older kids will probably make or draw something at school, but to be honest that usually makes me nauseous as these Americans sure love soppy, bad poetry! One memorable 'artwork' was a printout of a poem about how I should treasure the sticky handprints on the walls and windows because I would miss them one day, but here is a paint version i can keep forever... pukeworthy. Anyhow, I swear the kids' nursery used to buy the artwork items in bulk from some underpaid child labourers in an LDC, because no way were those neat, tidy, multicoloured fingerprint paintings actually made by my kids, at least not without Ms. Trunchball forcing their grubby mitts into the paint pots under pain of death...

Anyhow, I kind of feel that mother's day is for older Mums. I see it as my chance to let my mother know I love her and am grateful for all the years she has been there for me. I am planning on booking her a weekend away in a gypsy caravan as her treat, because when we were little we used to see this cute gypsy caravan at the farm and long to have it in the back garden to sleep in... I think she'll get a kick out of it. I hope when I am 50-odd and my kids are grown, they will do something nice for me on mother's day. Till then, I am grateful for the laughter they fill my house with (not so much the screaming, mess, despair and frustration, but it's all part of the package deal :-))

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