Can you use the baby weight excuse 5 years down the line?

(172 Posts)
FeelLikeTweedleDee Sun 20-Mar-11 12:52:32

I've met a few women who say "I'm overweight because I've had babies" and their children are 5+ years old. My mum (bless her) used to say this to me, and I'm her youngest child pushing 30!

So how long do you reckon you can use the baby weight excuse for? And who actually believes it? Men? The childless?

Bitch away.

LargeGlassOfRedPlease Sun 20-Mar-11 12:57:26

Great Q!

1 year max as an excuse, IMO.

I do think some women do just give up and turn all round and mumsy and use 'I just don't have time to excerise' line once the baby has popped out! grin

msshapelybottom Sun 20-Mar-11 13:01:53

Technically if someone put on weight with pregnancy and never lost it afterwards, even if it was 5 years down the line, they still have the baby weight!

I do think having small kids is a common reason that women don't take care of themselves, but that's more than weight alone. I find it sad that some women feel the need to justify their body to anyone mind you.

Personally I don't care why anyone else is overweight, I'm barely getting to grips with my own eating/weight issues

ShowOfHands Sun 20-Mar-11 13:07:24

MIL still says it and her youngest is 23. But I think you can argue that carrying babies can permanently change you. I have been fitter, lighter and stronger than I was pre-dc but my body shape will never, ever be the same. Pregnancy, stretchmarks, a long labour and emergency surgery have irrevocably altered my body.

OmniaParatus Sun 20-Mar-11 13:08:28

My sister still uses it jokingly and her daughter is 14!

I was fat before my kids anyway, I am 40 weeks with my 3rd and would agree I have about a year of baby weight excuses maximum.

I am fat because I eat too much and don't exercise enough though, and it doesn't matter what excuse I have, that is the real reason!

peppapighastakenovermylife Sun 20-Mar-11 13:08:51

I think around a year...or perhaps when you stop breastfeeding (if this is later than a year). I know quite a few women who cling onto weight until they stop feeding.

BristolJim Sun 20-Mar-11 13:09:59

Heh, I use this one!

TheVisitor Sun 20-Mar-11 13:11:27

18 years. :P

Marlinspike Sun 20-Mar-11 13:13:40

Never mind the baby weight, I'm knocking on 50 and reckon I still have puppy fat!grin

Oblomov Sun 20-Mar-11 13:14:30

Max 1 year.
I lost all my baby weight within a few weeks, both times. I think bf'ing helps. Or probably more just luck. Since then, I have put on some. You can't blame baby then, can you !!

TheSecondComing Sun 20-Mar-11 13:17:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Rabat Sun 20-Mar-11 13:21:43

Depends what they mean by 'baby weight'. I lost my baby weight (excess weight gained from pregnancy) by the time my DS was 5 months old (2 stone). However, I am now even heavier than what I was when I came home from the hospital with him - by about a stone, and I am now considerably heavier than my heaviest pre-pregnancy weight - for me that is due to a massive change in lifestyle and not adapting properly (I am trying now, honest!).

worraliberty Sun 20-Mar-11 13:31:27

I'm not sure but I've known a few people who have used pregnancy as an excuse for over eating and indulging in their 'cravings' for fatty/sweet foods.

My best friend constantly struggled with her weight but gave up and ate everything she used to avoid when she got pregnant.

She gained almost 4 stone and now (19 years on) is around 20 stone.

I'm slim but got a baby belly still. I still blame my twins (they are 5 grin).

Olivetti Sun 20-Mar-11 13:45:42

Brilliant question!
I've got a follow-up one, if people don't mind. I had a baby 4 months ago, and am more or less back to what I was before I had her, in weight terms (maybe 2lb over). Don't flame me, I know I am lucky etc. However, I swear my hips are MUCH wider....does this ever go back to normal?? And my tummy is all soft...how hard is it to get it firmish again?!

SummerRain Sun 20-Mar-11 13:49:35

I have fat fingers thanks to ds1.... they swelled when I was pregnant with him, and my feet got bigger, and even though I've lost the weight everywhere else my fingers are still fat.

He's 4.5 and he's the middle child but I blame his pregnancy for all my favourite rings lingering in a drawer unworn!

Weemee Sun 20-Mar-11 13:55:24

Depends if you are breastfeeding....I am just weaning dd (14 months) off the breast and she is only bf at night now. I have noticed a marked change in my middle since we dropped the morning feed. It has also been hard to start exercising until the last 3-4 months because it was painful to run etc. (tho I did a lot of walking). But 5 years erm.. possibly not a valid excuse...the babies might have started the increase in weight, but at 5 they aren't the ones stopping it!

Weemee Sun 20-Mar-11 13:56:39

I mean they aren't the ones stopping it coming off! blush

saggarmakersbottomknocker Sun 20-Mar-11 13:57:16

My youngest is 17 and I'm still not shot of it.

<gives up>

altinkum Sun 20-Mar-11 13:58:33

same as saggermakersbottomknocker.

thumbwitch Sun 20-Mar-11 13:58:43

My mum used it forever. She was 9st something when she got married, and put on a stone of "unshiftable" weight with each of her 3pg. But she never, ever got below 13st after that and blamed it all on having had DC. Despite the fact that we only accounted for 3st of her excess weight, and she was routinely another 2st overweight on top of that - it was all because of us.hmm

I got fat after I stopped bf'ing so I cannot use babyweight as an excuse - I was back to pre-pg weight within 2w. But a year after stopping bf'ing I was a stone heavier.<sigh>

theresapotatoundermysink Sun 20-Mar-11 14:01:09

I agree your body will change so you can blame your shape on pregnancy forever. But actual weight, probably only a year or so.

theresapotatoundermysink Sun 20-Mar-11 14:02:39

Oh no thumbwitch, don't tell me that. I have a feeling when I stop breastfeeding I'm gonna gain A LOT of weight.

thumbwitch Sun 20-Mar-11 14:05:31

Weelll - it depends on whether you manage your eating better than me, theresapotato - my downfall was not giving up my bar of chocolate a day habit immediately. blush Oh, and going back on the wine at long last of course. And no exercise - moving country didn't help, plus moving to a house with no staircase from one that had 2.

So if you avoid all those pitfalls, you'll be fine grin

LargeGlassOfRedPlease Sun 20-Mar-11 14:11:32

Olive - I don't think your body 'feels' back to normal IYKWIM, until about 1yr after birth - even if the weight is off.

noodle69 Sun 20-Mar-11 15:56:31

I dont know how anyone with kids can keep loads of weight on. They never give you the chance to sit still I think it must burn 10000 calories a day!

allsquareknickersnofurcoat Sun 20-Mar-11 16:04:31

I weigh less than pre preg now, but you wouldnt think so to look at me. I've gone from a size 14 to a 16mat during pregnancy, and now I'm an 16/18. My hips are definitely wider (pear anyway angry ), my boobs have gone from 34C to 38DD (still BF) and I have jelly belly.
I'm not too concerned about trying to get my body back at the mo though, as I want DC2 asap, so its just gonna be fucked again anyway.

ambarth Sun 20-Mar-11 16:17:05

dunno but I am still using it 2 years later.sad

WynkenBlynkenandNod Sun 20-Mar-11 16:25:44

Well I finally shifted the 2 stone I put on with DS, he's 7.

I've got rid of half of the 3 stone I put on with DD who is 12.

Once that is done I need to shift the two stone I should have lost before getting pregnant in the first place.

noviceoftheday Sun 20-Mar-11 16:25:53

I put on 1.5 stone while I was pregnant, but ate for England when I was breastfeeding, and acquired a sweet tooth as well as eating massive portions. I was back in my size 8 pre-baby clothes within 6 months but it was only after I stopped breasteeding (at 1 year) that I was properly able to shift the entire post-baby weight and get toned, and that took me another 6 months. So my answer is a year or 6 months after you stop breastfeeding whichever is longest!.

fluffles Sun 20-Mar-11 16:30:53

i've only just discovered (don't have dcs yet) that your ligaments stay stretchy throughout breastfeeding and that you have to remain cafeful about the same exercises you were careful about in pregnancy shock

pre-pregnancy i did a lot of very vigorous yoga (ashtanga and vinyasa flow 'power' yoga) and martial arts - both of which will be a no-no during breast feeding sad

also, i'm not sure that my breasts could handle running during breast feeding sad

i know my body and i know that i can't lose weight with walking and swimming.. so i don't hold out much hope of even beginning to try to get back into shape until about ten months or so after birth.

mosschops30 Sun 20-Mar-11 16:34:32

I put on 4 stone when pg with dc3, basically because iate like a pig.
Its taken me just over a year with plenty of exercise and good diet to get back to a size 8.

I hate these people who say 'oh ive put on weight since having the kids' as if its an excuse.

Why cant people just say i eat too much or dont exercise thats why im overweight

spidookly Sun 20-Mar-11 16:37:19

TheSecond

"when i breastfeed i eat like a horse and hang on to every bit of lard i look at"

seconded

I hadn't given up breastfeeding completely when I got pregnant for the second time, so I don't even know which baby weight is which any more. confused

But the thing is, I never think mean thoughts about other women's "excuses" for their weight.

What concern is it of mine?

I presumed the OP would be someone who was wondering how long THEY could use the baby weight excuse. Not someone who was wondering how long she had to wait before judging mothers for being fat hmm

HalfTermHero Sun 20-Mar-11 16:39:09

9 months on, 9 months off.

spidookly Sun 20-Mar-11 16:39:38

"I hate these people who say 'oh ive put on weight since having the kids' as if its an excuse."

WTF?

You hate them?

For carrying a little extra weight after having children and not having time to exercise?

Nice.

mosschops30 Sun 20-Mar-11 16:44:00

Oh dont be so pedamtic. 'cant stand' then, and its not the people its the attitude tat 'ive had babies = i can be overweight because of tat'

spidookly Sun 20-Mar-11 16:46:53

It sounds very much like it is the people who are being dismissed and sneered at here.

There is no attitude implied in "I've put on weight after having babies", many women have and most of them are not at all happy about it.

But it's great to know they're being looked down on by other mothers who lost the weight more easily.

How lovely of you all.

mosschops30 Sun 20-Mar-11 16:50:29

Touchy???

If you dont like it, do something about it, it doesnt fall off the rest of us you know, 95% of people have to work at it.

Suck it up or stop feeling bitter

spidookly Sun 20-Mar-11 16:54:49

Oh fuck off mosschops

I'm not remotely bitter.

I'm a breastfeeding mother with thyroid problems, so your nasty, simplistic "advice" is utterly misplaced.

Being slightly overweight when I can't diet and there are medical reasons why my body won't shed weight is something I'm entirely at peace with.

But not all women are like me and nasty bitches like you make their lives a fucking misery.

You're the one who sounds bitter.

When I was slim (which was for the vast majority of my life) I never felt the need to look down on people who were fat.

CheerfulYank Sun 20-Mar-11 16:55:00

5 years! Those lazy mares.

I used to think it was nine months, then a year, then two...now it's almost 4 or whatever DS is currently aged.

mosschops30 Sun 20-Mar-11 16:57:29

Woo hoo a drip feed poster my favourite. Think you need to relax a bit and deal with that anger thing youve got going on.

new2cm Sun 20-Mar-11 16:58:14

I think we all know the answer, which is no, you can't expect people to take you seriously when - 5 years on - you blame your big size on baby weight.

grin

So how long do you reckon you can use the baby weight excuse for? IMO, until the child's 1st birthday or 2nd birthday for a difficult birth or other issues (e.g baby blues). After all, there could be other priorities in that person's life than loosing baby weight.

And who actually believes it? No one but most people have the social graces to smile sympathetically and move on.
Men? The childless? I doubt it!

MissusF Sun 20-Mar-11 17:00:56

See I had no probs losing the baby weight within a few months everytime.

BUT when the Grandaughter came along, well then I put on loads, and as much as I try, havnt really lost it grin and she's 16!

spidookly Sun 20-Mar-11 17:03:26

PMSL

You called me fat, lazy and bitter but I have an anger problem for responding to that?

I wasn't "drip feeding" (MN's most irrititating criticism) because I wasn't making the point about myself.

YOU made it about me, so that's why I responded.

I think it's shit to be mean about fat mothers. I thought that before I was slightly overweight and I'll think it when I'm in a position to lose the weight.

spidookly Sun 20-Mar-11 17:05:32

Why should women who are overweight have to make excuses about it and why shouldn't they be taken seriously?

confused

Is it just that you have so little to feel good about that not being fat is all you can come up with?

Isn't crowing about your own achievements and looking down at people who don't measure up a little adolescent?

SardineQueen Sun 20-Mar-11 17:07:57

I think that lifestyle can change monumentally for women after children and that their weight/body shape/exercise levels/eating patterns can be very different to pre-DC. So shapes and sizes and things can and do change, and it is down to DC in their huge change in lifestyle.

I do feel a bit sad that women feel so bad for what are often small changes, and that they feel the need to justify it, and that other women judge them for it. I think it's not helped by the Sleb mags - I see the covers in teh shops wink and it's all OMG she's pg/just given birth - look how shit/great she looks etc etc.

spidookly Sun 20-Mar-11 17:09:12

Well said Sardine

PepsiPopcorn Sun 20-Mar-11 17:14:58

biscuit

MuddlingMackem Sun 20-Mar-11 17:17:50

My youngest is four and a half and I'm still carrying baby weight. I figure I might get the chance to shift the rest once she's in reception.

All these people who say that it's max a year; if you don't have lucky genes then you must have either have lightweight kids you can push in a buggy forever or really good walkers. Or the time and money to spend at a gym. I have none of those.

With DC2 the first three months or so was just recovering from the c-section, the next few months was pushing two heavy kids in a heavy tandem pushchair, so not brisk walking then either. Then DC1 got too big to physically push them both, really lazy walker, snail's pace everywhere. Respite of a few months when he started reception and I only had a single in pushchair, lost a bit then as I could walk briskly, but then she got to heavy and it was back to it being a slog. Then of course she got too big for the pushchair and it's back to snail's pace.

Oh, and no money or babysitters to work off the weight at a gym either. So, hey ho!

Roll on September, might finally start shifting what's left!

willow Sun 20-Mar-11 17:19:47

OP: shit, are you saying that that excuse is no longer acceptable? DS is nearly 11- I am busted.

mosschops30 Sun 20-Mar-11 17:35:03

You dont need to goto a gym to lose weight, misconception.

Run outside, take a jog, do a fitness dvd, or if you have a wii use that, do squats/lunges/sit ups at home. Use classes in a leisure centre or church hall.

mosschops30 Sun 20-Mar-11 17:37:25

spidookily you obviously have massive issues, you ranted at my post becauae i didnt agree with you, get over yourself! I didnt call you fat or lazy, but i stand by my post and the reasons that people ar overweight

SardineQueen Sun 20-Mar-11 17:43:02

Well you did say you "hated" people who say they've put on weight since children, downgraded to "can't stand them" when challenged, which is a pretty extreme reaction to something which is actually pretty inoffensive. I mean it doesn't hurt anyone does it, I don't think I could muster much in the way of loathing at all if someone said they had put on weight since children TBH. Everyone's different though I guess.

ziva Sun 20-Mar-11 17:47:09

i am technically overweight by bmi (after dd3,im nearly due number 4) but am a size 10.my boobs seem to carry most of my baby weight post babies.nothing i do will reduce them bar surgery.
ive tried all the excercises,dvds etc and i had a flat hard tummy when my babies were 3 mths old,but my breasticles,well they just keep on growing.so even though my eldest is 8 i can say that yes i still have baby weight.

SardineQueen Sun 20-Mar-11 17:47:44

I can understand thinking that people who say this are making excuses etc. I can't understand hating them. It just seems rather disproportionate.

mosschops30 Sun 20-Mar-11 18:11:11

Oh god what a picky thread, shall leave you too it as you all know what i meant but are choosing to believe that i hate people for being fat.
As you were

shimmerysilverglitter Sun 20-Mar-11 18:21:02

Well I am thinner after kids than before tbh but there are bits that will never be the same, stretched skin on stomach, wider hips.

bigpants103 Sun 20-Mar-11 18:37:28

Its nice to read about other people who don't lose wait till they stop breast feeding. I gain weight really easily when bf but as soon as I stop I gradually lose it with really making that much effort.

I thought it was just me and that perhaps I was eating too much whilst feeding as I'm so hungry and crave sugar because of how knackered it makes me.

That can now be my excuse for carrying baby weight. If someone on mn says it then that's good enough for mewink

Olessaty Sun 20-Mar-11 18:49:56

If someone asked me why I was fat, I would tell them... well, when I fell pregnant I was a couple of stone overweight (drinking a lot, takeaways, not active), then I gained five stone with my first (yes, five stone in eight months), then two stone with my second, I ate badly during my first pregnancy (I felt sick all the time, and lived on processed stuff as cooking was a vom-fest), and a combination of this and being unable to walk during either of them lead to massive gain.

I've found it tough losing the weight, my (mental and physical) health has been crap since I had kids, but here I am at six stone and four pounds off, slow but steady, it goes on faster than it comes off. My body shape is completely different, so even at a weight where before I'd have been comfortable in a size 14, I am just into size 16s.

Don't hate me because I say being pregnant and having kids are why I'm a fattie. It's true. It's not my excuse because I am doing something about it, but it's blooming hard work getting time to focus on yourself when you have two children five and under. I think you need to be more understanding.

Of course there are people who are deluding themselves, blaming the pregnancies and eating like crap still. I'd maybe feel a mild irritation at most, on a bad day, just before my period, after a sleepless night. Maybe.

FeelLikeTweedleDee Sun 20-Mar-11 18:57:41

Thanks for sharing everyone. Interesting reading.

I've recently got back to my size 10 pre-baby weight. My DD has just turned 8 months and I'm still breastfeeding her. I got back to pre-baby weight by calorie controlled diet (1500 cals per day which is safe when BFing) and lots and lots of walking with the pram. I must walk at least 20 miles per week as I make sure I walk every day. I certainly haven't got 'lucky' genes. I've had to work hard at it. If it gets to 8pm and I've ate my allocated 1500 cals for the day, and I'm still hungry, then I go to bed hungry.

I was interested to read that some of you say that breastfeeding has hindered your weight loss. Why do you think this is?

Olessaty Sun 20-Mar-11 19:08:25

I didn't diet when I breastfed until a good nine months in, when she started reducing the feeds and wasn't relying on the milk solely for nutrition. I just got too hungry to reduce my calories that much.

trixie123 Sun 20-Mar-11 19:18:17

definitely a lifestyle type issue to some extent. Not only do you have less money and time to exercise but generally less energy also (getting up in the night will do that to you!). If you factor in having any sort of time with your DP/DH when they get in from work that kind of rules out evenings and once or twice a weekends isn't going to make any a huge difference. As others have said, its not just weight but shapt that changes - I was lighter after DS1 than when I fell pregnant but was less happy with the way my midsection looked due to CS horrible overhang bit. Does that ever go?

annapolly Sun 20-Mar-11 19:21:02

My DS is 11 and I still have baby weight. It is much harder when you have a baby late.

What ShowOfHands said!

When I had DD1, I lost all of my "baby weight" within 10 weeks of giving birth. I ended up being slimmer and lighter than I was pre pregnancy. However, losing the weight so quickly has given me saggy skin which hangs over and I have stretchmarks so my body will never look like it used to sad.

AliGrylls Sun 20-Mar-11 19:27:21

I have always wondered about this. I know people who have been on both sides - for myself before I got pregnant I found it hard to lose weight; now I have children I am the slimmest I have ever been without trying (there is a point I am not just boasting). Most of my friends fall into the other camp of being slimmish before then struggling to lose it after.

I have always thought it has something to do with activity levels. I had a really sedentary job before kiddos and am so much more active now, maybe for some other people it is the reverse (as a possible explanation).

Also, I am sure it is a question of priorities - some people prioritise keeping fit and losing baby weight whilst others may prioritise spending that extra time playing with their children or sleeping if their children are really bad sleepers.

Anyway, IMO size 8 is completely unnecessary no-one needs to be that thin and it is what is known as vanity. Also, I would like to know why some people are so obsessed with being slim and "toning up" after a baby. Are there not more pressing things to worry about?

chickbean Sun 20-Mar-11 19:35:07

I weigh the same as I did before DCs but can't seem to summon up the enthusiasm to do the sit-ups that might shift the jelly belly (after DS2, was starting to think about it when I got pregnant again - can't use that excuse again grin).

Have just finished breastfeeding DD and my boobs are still a lot bigger than pre-children - is there a normal period of time that it takes for them to settle down? I don't want to buy too many new bras until I know that they aren't going to change again.

There can be so many reasons why someone can still carry weight years after they give birth which are hard for them to control but which are all related to giving birth.
- They could have serious thyroid problems (another cliche I know but it does influence someone's ability to lose weight)
- They could be suffering from depression
- Their child could have sleep problems and it is well known that it is harder to regulate eating when people are constantly underslept
- They may have done a very active job or lifestyle before their children and find it difficult to maintain this afterwards

And so the list goes on.

What I think is more sad is that women feel they have to justify being a different weight after child birth or at any other time in their life.
It is worth thinking about the internal thought process that makes someone make the comment that it is babyweight.

noodle69 Sun 20-Mar-11 19:50:50

Depends how much you put on. At 9 months pregnant I was 9 stone 5. I lost all baby weight and had flat stomach within 2 months. I didnt go to the gym I just didnt eat big portions and I never sit still ever. (I even find it hard not moving around when I am sitting on here!)

If you dont put loads on you wont have loads to lose and it will go off without you noticing. Also working till you drop in a very physical job definitely helped me. (No not much help now but maybe will be in subsequent pregnancies)

spidookly Sun 20-Mar-11 19:50:54

- They may have a shit husband who doesn't allow them to have any time to themselves to take any exercise

I would never diet whilst breastfeeding. Keeping up my supply by following my appetite is more important to me than being slim soon after my babies are born.

I'm not vain enough to prioritise how I look over feeding my children.

spidookly Sun 20-Mar-11 20:03:47

"If you dont put loads on you wont have loads to lose and it will go off without you noticing"

That's all very well, but do you think pregnant women should be watching their weight?

What do you say to women with nausea that means they basically need to eat starch all the time for 10 or 12 weeks at the start and are so tired they can barely move?

Pregnancy affects all of us differently.

I've always been a very fit, active person but from 2 days before I got my BFP with no.1 I had crushing nausea for weeks, which was quickly accompanied by unbelievable tiredness.

All my plans of staying active and sticking to my (usual) healthy diet went out the window as I just put my head down, ate what I could manage, and tried to get through to 14 weeks (when it started to ease).

If you have the energy to stay active and don't get any nausea so you can still eat pretty much what you choose, count yourself lucky. The little snidey remarks casting aspersions on people's inability to eat healthily while pregnant are tiresome.

Do you just listen to other women tell you their experiences were different and think they are lying to excuse their disgusting fatness?

Happylander Sun 20-Mar-11 20:07:40

I weigh more now than when I was pregnant LOL. Mind you I do have PTSD and my DH is in Afghan so I'm on my own. Walk the dog everyday and also walk everywhere I can as do not have enough money for petrol. Don't have junk in the house, cook from scratch and rarely drink alcohol...although did treat myself the other day after hoofing stuff in the 2 hours grin. I think stress plays a big part in weigh gain and top that off with lack of sleep then weigh loss is hard. Can't wait for DH to come home in 3 weeks so I can get straight out in the morning with the dog for a little run.

Happylander Sun 20-Mar-11 20:08:27

'hoofing stuff in the loft for 2 hours' brain is rubbish!

Petsville Sun 20-Mar-11 20:09:26

Another one here who's thinner after than before, but I'd got comfortable in my skin pre-baby and now I'm not. I'm still BFing so have enormous horrible Katie Price boobs, but I'm scrawny everywhere else (including my neck - I think I've aged about ten years). A bit of baby weight would be preferable, really.

Agree with spidookly: there are all sorts of reasons why some people might put on more weight than others, and why some might find it harder to lose it than others. I couldn't eat much while pg as DS was jammed up under my ribs, so didn't put much weight on in the first place, and I really struggle to eat at all if I'm exhausted, so I've lost weight since DS was born because of lack of sleep. Not everyone reacts like that: in fact I think it's more normal to put on weight if you're short of sleep.

foreverondiet Sun 20-Mar-11 20:12:29

My baby is 11 months old, I have just lost it over the last 5 months since I stopped EBFing. For me EBFing and dieting don't work, and weight loss is slow, so I would say its a valid excuse until the baby is maybe 18 months old?

I have had to diet each time to loose. If someone said that to me with a 5 year old I would just say, well if you want to loose the baby weight you need to diet, it will not magic itself away.

spidookly Sun 20-Mar-11 20:12:47

Yes, it is usual to put weight on when you don't get enough sleep. You eat to provide the energy you lack from insufficient sleep.

This has never been a particular problem for me, but I'm sure it happens.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

noodle69 Sun 20-Mar-11 20:15:03

skiddookly I dont mean limit good stuff but I mean dont constantly eat bad stuff and 'eat for two' as such. I havent got a healthy diet at all and never have had definitely not when pregnant. I had so many mcdonalds drive thrus I think I needed shares lol.

I was sick a lot but I had to do loads of physical jobs such as 3am bar work and working with kids. Sick made me not put on weight as well. The tiredness is hideous early pregnancy but I didnt have any choice as I had no other way of making cash at the time.

I dont know why you are being confrontational. I was just saying my experiences confused I wasnt discounting anyone else I was just saying what might help.

WhiteElefant Sun 20-Mar-11 20:52:19

I have never been able to understand the whole baby weight thing either noodle. I didnt realy put on any extra fat whilst pregnant, not intentionally I just didnt eat that much extra.
I can see that there are reasons for some women putting on lots of weight but I cant understant why it seems to be virtually expected that you do and then have to spend months trying to get rid of it.
Before anyone starts to hate me my DD is 13 and my stomach muscles have never recovered and I have loose skin toogrin

TotallyandUtterly Sun 20-Mar-11 21:00:39

I had polyhydramnios (way too much water) when I was pregnant and it stretched my stomach to a ridiculous degree. I am all mishapen now. I'm also progesterone intollerant so get really bloated. I had one baby, got pregnant when he was 12 mo, then had another and she's now one. I've tried to diet for a year and lost nothing. However, I've suddenly started losing weight. So i reckon my hormones are chilling and I can now slim down a bit... but I will always be mishapen and stretch marked to within an inch of my life... and saggy.

So I definately believe baby weight is true!

TotallyandUtterly Sun 20-Mar-11 21:01:22

Oh and I went from a size 10 to a size 20 might I add.

TotallyandUtterly Sun 20-Mar-11 21:02:17

Ohhh and my stomach muscles parted so much during pregnancy that there's no 'facia' to my stomach so it all hangs forward like I'm still pregnant... urgh I'm disgusting

Chynah Sun 20-Mar-11 21:02:22

After baby has vacated (and taken the necessary stuff with it) its no longer "baby weight" its YOUR WEIGHT and your responsibility to deal with it. And if you don't eat crap/not exercise and put on too much you ahouldn't have any to lose anyway.

TotallyandUtterly Sun 20-Mar-11 21:05:40

Chynah did you read mine?

noviceoftheday Sun 20-Mar-11 21:06:57

AliGrylls, there are some very sweeping assumptions in your post and I could just post to tell you to have a biscuit, but can't resist responding so here goes..... firstly, when you're petite, then actually there is a very good reason to be a size 8, because that's broadly where a healthy BMI will land you in dress size. So not about vanity but about nature.

Secondly, to your point "some people prioritise keeping fit and losing baby weight whilst others may prioritise spending that extra time playing with their children or sleeping if their children are really bad sleepers.". Well dd wasn't a bad sleeper so by deduction, I must be a crap mother because I didn't prioritise spending that time with my baby. Or perhaps another explanation is that I went to the gym during my lunch hour at work?

As you are clearly so much a better mother than everyone else please do feel free to inform me of what better things I should be worrying about? hmm

spidookly Sun 20-Mar-11 21:08:49

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

Chynah Sun 20-Mar-11 21:10:06

Totally Yes and from what I read you seem to have some medical issues therefore it's not 'baby weight' you've got but the result of a medical problem.

I had 2 babies within 15 months too but I don't have your medical issues.

Chynah Sun 20-Mar-11 21:10:54

Sorry Totally didn't mean that to sound like 2 babies close together caused it or anything IFSWIM.

TotallyandUtterly Sun 20-Mar-11 21:11:43

It's weight as a result of being pregnant and having babies so I think it's fair to say that for me, it's baby weight. I wouldn't have put on the weight if I hadn't had the babies.

TotallyandUtterly Sun 20-Mar-11 21:12:03

Yeah I know what you mean.

SueWhite Sun 20-Mar-11 21:13:27

Yes pregnant women should watch their weight. Doctors would agree with that.

Also, dieting does not affect your breastfeeding supply. That is how women in the 3rd world are able to do natural-term breastfeeding.

theresapotatoundermysink Sun 20-Mar-11 21:15:54

Chyna does make a point. There is a difference between baby weight and medical issues. If you have a medical reason which stops you from losing weight then that's fair enough, but you can't refer to it as baby weight. That is not the reason for being overweight.

I don't think it's ever acceptable to judge somebody for being overweight though. That's to do with them and is nobody else's business.

ReindeerBollocks Sun 20-Mar-11 21:16:16

Personally I give myself and my body a year to recover from pregnancy including losing baby weight.

But, I don't understand why people would worry about someone else's 'baby weight' whether it be the truth or a lie.

AliGrylls Sun 20-Mar-11 21:22:23

Novice to be brutally honest I don't really agree with some of the posts on here which seem to be suggesting a woman should be thinking about getting into shape soon after having a baby. To have the time to exercise is a luxury and IMO being thin and toned is about vanity.

It is hard enough for most mothers to get to grips with motherhood without a band of militant anti-feminists telling people that they should get down to a certain weight (although I am sure in other areas of life they consider that they are feminists).

Also, FYI - BMI is a band. It does not "fall" at 8 stone. Being BMI 25 (probably 10 stone) is just as acceptable as being BMI 21 (which for the average woman would be where 8 stone comes in at).

Olivetti Sun 20-Mar-11 21:23:55

I was careful when I was pregnant, I didn't diet, I just didn't stuff myself. I ate as normal, you don't need any extra until the very end, and even then it's only the equivalent of a couple of biscuits. I'm trying to be careful even though I am EBFing, and trying to do what exercise I can, although that's not much! I'm hardly Kate Moss, but my weight is ok. Each to their own, and I don't care how fat/thin/gorgeous/ugly anyone else is. I just don't want to get fat. Nothing wrong with that, imo, and I spend loads of time with my lovely little girl. I'm only posting this because some people don't seem to accept that just cos you're a bit vain, you can still be a good mum!

Olivetti Sun 20-Mar-11 21:26:21

p.s. I agree with Novice. And AliGrylls, if being thin and toned is about vanity, so what? We're all sinners! grin

Chynah Sun 20-Mar-11 21:34:20

Olivetti totally agree. I was careful not to overeat when pregnant too and carried on running until 3 or 4 weeks before the birth (both times) as a result put on around a stone each time and so it came off very quickly.

Agree motherhood takes a bit of getting used to but also can not understand the 'in my pyjamas til noon' brigade who seem to think that if you get up put on some decent clothes and make up and try and make the best of yourself that you are failing to put your baby first.

noviceoftheday Sun 20-Mar-11 21:34:25

AliGrylls, well I am not supportive of people saying that one should be a certain weight either. I only agree with the phrase "9 months on 9 months off" as a means of explaining that there shouldn't be a massive rush to lose the weight, however, I don't agree with it if people use it in the context of by the time your 9 months post birth are up then you should have lost the weight.

I agree that having time to exercise is a luxury in some cases, but for example, I chose to do it in my lunch hour at work. What really riled me about your post was the assumption that one can only fit time in to exercise if it involves prioritising it over the baby. IMO that is just as judgmental as some of the other posts that you say you don't like.

And yes, I agree that BMI is a band. If you are a petite person, 10 stones is usually not a good look. Vain, yes, at the expense of "playing with my baby", no.

Olivetti Sun 20-Mar-11 21:42:21

I agree, Chynah. I try really hard to make sure I get showered, have a bit of make-up and combed hair to make a good start to the day. Again, each to their own, but I find if I've been up several times in the night a bit of make-up makes me feel more human. But their seems to be an unwritten rule that "good mums" never get a chance to brush their teeth, haven't been to the hairdresser since 1982, blah blah blah.

I actually got my approach from my lovely late Grandma, who was a SAHM all her life, and always took the time to slap on a bit of foundation and lippy, even if she was just spending the day doing the washing and cleaning the skirting boards! smile

Olivetti Sun 20-Mar-11 21:43:19

Sorry, there not their blush I'm so sleep deprived!

LargeGlassOfRedPlease Sun 20-Mar-11 21:46:31

'have the time to exercise is a luxury' shocking

FGS..really?? Would it upset you to learn that after 6.30pm the TV in never on in our house but between us, myself and DH excerise 6 times a week...oh and we work ~100hrs week and have 2 DC and no family support.

You choose to make the time if it is something that you feel is important enough!!

Our health (and being slim & toned or aspire to at least) is surprisingly, rather important to us, whilst watching e.g Eastenders isn't shock

noodle69 Sun 20-Mar-11 21:51:16

I dont understand how you wouldnt be exercising anyway. By the time I walk around I do about 5 miles a day everyday. Carry all weekly shop by hand thats a lot of weight to push around with the buggies. You should be constantly exercising on a day to day basis just by living your life, no need for the gym.

spidookly Sun 20-Mar-11 21:51:42

Not all doctors agree that pregnant women should be watching their weight, and it is absolutely not a given that dieting won't affect your milk supply.

The advice I have had from my doctors is that you shouldn't attempt to diet when you are pregnant or breastfeeding. So I won't. I'm not vain enough.

But I also know that my metabolism is affected while I breastfeed and that I hold onto weight in a way that I don't normally. So attempting to lose weight is basically pointless. And I know other women who have struggled massively to lose weight while breastfeeding only to have it drop off once they stopped.

The human metabolism is a complicated, nuaced, badly understood mechanism and all this simplistic shite about how all you have to is just not choose to get hideous nausea and run every day even though you struggle to walk up the stairs is ridiculous.

Olivetti Sun 20-Mar-11 21:56:24

There's a difference between not watching your weight and deliberately chowing down, though. I didn't watch my weight as such, I just didn't eat much extra.

foreverondiet Sun 20-Mar-11 21:58:52

In terms of weight gain, I was starving the whole time when pregnant and BFing, I'd eat proper dinner and wake up in night starving so uncomfortable I couldn't sleep. Hence the weight gain. If I had another baby I'd gain weight again as I would rather not spend 15 months constantly starving even if the price was a 5 month diet on the end.

I don't think dieting would affect my milk supply when BFing BUT I had a huge appetite and so dieting when BFing for me would be miserable, I'd be worn out and starving. But I only EBF for 6 months and managed to diet whilst partially BFing.

Anyway, the OP would about 5 years down the line, not about those still BFing. I think totally reasonable to call it babyweight if you are still BFIng, even if the baby is 18 months or so.

spidookly Sun 20-Mar-11 21:59:32

But what if the only thing that even comes close to making you feel human is "chowing down" on starchy food?

Chynah Sun 20-Mar-11 22:02:30

There is a world of difference between 'dieting' and just being careful what you eat. A 'diet' to reduce weight is completely different to a healthy diet which should adequately maintain a body and it's daily exersions without holding on to vast amounts of fat.

Yes the metabolism is complicated but you don't see many overweight people in places where food is in short supply (and some of them manage to breatfeed too).

noodle69 Sun 20-Mar-11 22:02:51

Why you are pregnant thats fine but after if you are constantly on the go you will lose a lot. Never get in a car, always carry babies stuff, buggies, shopping. Be out the house all day every day walking around and going places.

I have never watched my weight or diet. I eat loads of bad for you foods, maccy ds, crispy pancakes, waffles, chicken nuggets. I just dont eat massive portions and I never stop moving. Even now whilst on here I do about 5 mins get up and do something then 5 minutes again (It comes from me never being able to sit still)

Olivetti Sun 20-Mar-11 22:06:10

Well then, chow down! But you were saying some doctors don't agree that pregnant women should watch their weight. I was saying this is true, but there is a difference between "watching weight", which is usually a euphemism for dieting, and just continuing as normal. I'm not a doctor, but everything I've read and all my doctors have said the same thing - you don't need many extra calories from a physiological point of view. How you feel in yourself, is a different thing, of course, and we are all different as you say. But lots of people do use pregnancy as an excuse to overeat ("eating for two" etc) and then moan on about being fat.

Chynah Sun 20-Mar-11 22:11:57

I always find it strange that some pregnant women obsess about dying their hair, applying fake tan, eating a bit of pate or raw egg whilst pregnant but will consume a worse diet and exercise regime when pregnant than they would ever consider whilst not pregnant and still consider that they are doing it in their and their unborn babies best interests. confused

PepsiPopcorn Sun 20-Mar-11 22:13:07

Not sure why anyone wants to hear someone else boasting about how they lost weight?

Olivetti Sun 20-Mar-11 22:15:43

Anyway, this is a genuine question - is the human metabolism really that complicated, unless you have a medical condition that directly affects your metabolic rate? Surely for everyone else it's quite simple - if you take in more calories than you burn, you'll store fat. And I include myself in this, I'm not saying I'm an angel! I just accept that if I overeat and don't do enough exercise, my clothes get tighter.

spidookly Sun 20-Mar-11 22:15:49

"I'm not a doctor, but everything I've read and all my doctors have said the same thing - you don't need many extra calories from a physiological point of view"

Absolutely. A banana and a glass of milk was what a friend was told by her doctor.

After DD1 was born I weighed EXACTLY the same as I did before she was born. So I think it's silly to say that what is left after the baby is gone is not baby weight. I was not fat while I was pregnant. But as soon as the baby was born I was fat.

I expected to lose the 8lbs of her weight plus a bit of placenta and fluid, but by a few days later my weight was the same. So that to me was "baby weight" - the baby is gone but all the weight is still here!

With DD2 it was different - DD2 came out and I lost nearly 2 stone in about a week. But I still have some of the weight from DD1 that I hadn't lost before I got pregnant with DD2 (still bfing).

spidookly Sun 20-Mar-11 22:17:49

Yes, the human metabolism is complicated.

Believe me, when you try to figure out how your thyroid gland affects your metabolism that becomes very clear.

Olivetti Sun 20-Mar-11 22:21:53

But that's what I meant - unless you have a medical condition that directly affects your metabolism.

spidookly Sun 20-Mar-11 22:24:55

Normal thyroid function is still complicated.

Chynah Sun 20-Mar-11 22:30:12

Thing is women know that if they eat too much for the activities they do eventually weight will start to go up but so many of them seem to throw this information to the wind the minute they get a positive line on a preg test kit and them moan that they are 'massive' and 6 months down the line are still holding on to 2 unwanted and unnecessary stones in excess weight which they now 'never have time' to exercise to shift or eat more healthily.

Ishtar2410 Sun 20-Mar-11 22:35:14

I thought I was pushing it at a year - still looked five months pregnant...but it's sorted now. Wasn't easy, and is still difficult to maintain it sometimes.

My mum blamed the control girdle she was advised to get back into by my nan. I'm too nice to tell her she needed (needs!) to eat less!

COCKadoodledooo Sun 20-Mar-11 22:39:25

I'm overweight. Don't blame it on the kids though - had lost the weight I put on with ds1 by the time he was around 18 months, and with ds2 it had gone within a couple of months (cravings were apples and salad 2nd time round, so only put on 1.5 stone total).

I was a hugely fat fucker before I had kids though!

Am now a stone heavier than when I got married almost 13 years ago, which isn't too bad I guess. Gonna be heyooge at my Diamond wedding party though if I carry on putting on a pound a year grin

madamedeluca Sun 20-Mar-11 22:42:00

So what you're all basically saying is that three years on, I can't use the 'I've just had a baby' excuse?! Damn!

scotsgirl23 Sun 20-Mar-11 22:55:47

Some of these comments are quite mean. Not every woman who gains a lot of weight in pregnancy does so because she's being a glutton and eating for 2! In my case, i had hyperemesis from very very early until about 15 weeks, which sent my metabolism absolutely crazy - it was a bit like coming off a starvation diet in that my body held on to every single calorie it got once I stopped vomiting. I then developed SPD at 20 weeks. Between these two I was basically ill for the entire pregnancy, and went from going to the gym daily to barely being able to walk the length of my lounge.

Even after I had DD, it took about another 8 months (wasn't B/F so it wasn't that) before I was able to lose weight, despite dieting. I've lost a lot of weight before, so I know how, I wasn't kidding myself. It just would not budge. My metabolism took time to recover and suddenly decided to start letting go of the excess, but I suspect it will be over the year before I'm back to my healthy pre preg weight.

My doc confirmed that buggered up metabolisms are quite common for a while if you've not been able to consume your required level of calories for a while - for whatever reason. As soon as the sickness stopped it was like I'd come off the most strict crash diet and the weight piled on even though I was eating very normal meals.

Not everyone who gets fat when pregnant is lazy or silly, or eats junk.

StillSquiffy Sun 20-Mar-11 22:57:56

Nothing irritates me more than people assuming that because maybe 90% of the population are fat because they eat more than they burn off (and/or eat junk), they can then extrapolate and assume that applies to 100% of the fatties.

Nothing embarasses me more than knowing that pre-babies, in my size 10 ivory tower, I also thought the same.

Having been diagnosed with, variously, ME (an odd diagnosis given I was working a 60 hour week and doing an MSc with two under 3's at home at the time), insomnia, endometriosis, severe hormone deficiency, syndrome X (one for the nutters, that) and so on, I am older, wiser, and fatter.

It was very nice pre-babies to go through a day without craving food, and very nice to not even know the GI load of every single bloody piece of food in Tescos, and nice to go to the yoga and aerobics knowing that my efforts would be actually 'doing good', rather than just holding back the tide. And it was nice to eat carbs too, every now and then, without knowing that I would be asleep within 20 minutes. I've had my DH grab me in a restaurant to stop me falling as I slid off my chair, thanks to a single bread roll. All the problems are slowly starting to fade after 7 years, but it's still an uphill battle. Not helped by having someone ask me 'when I'm due' maybe once a week (something which cannot be corrected without surgery and accounts for an estimated 6kg), or by having a GP simply accuse me of eating doughnuts on the sly when my 600 a day calorie diet had no effect other than to make me very dizzy (I started at a normal diet level of 1400 then dropped by 200calories every 3 weeks in order to test at what point - inter alia - my weight would start to fall)

I am a bit humbler and a shedload less ignorant and judgy than I was before I had kids.

Chynah Sun 20-Mar-11 23:08:56

stilll squiffy & Scotsgirl once again someone with a medical problem not a 'baby weight' one. Don't think for one minute you are what this thread is about.

scotsgirl23 Sun 20-Mar-11 23:22:22

I know what you mean Chynah but honestly, when you try to explain to people that you are still carrying some of the weight you gained in pregnancy because you were ill and your body hasn't recovered overnight, you get rolling eyes and expressions which could be roughly translated as "uh huh, suuuure, fatty boom boom just ate too many doughnuts"

I've been questioned about diet by family members, virtually interrogated by one who studied nutrition but knows sod all about pregnancy and even had work colleagues make comments towards the end of my pregnancy. It's horrible. I gained 4 stone and you would not believe how judgemental people can be.

SardineQueen Mon 21-Mar-11 08:30:36

What a hideous thread. Talk about women policing each other. I'm astounded by some of the views on here.

The idea that women ought to be so concerned with their figures that they should commence "getting back into shape" as soon as they've given birth. The idea that women must make time for exercise - many women suffer PND, many women suffer a kind of sub-PND caused by sleep deprivation, I couldn't have launched into an exercise and diet regime while getting to grips with BF and I think that anyone who would judge another for not doing so is pretty pathetic TBH.

What does it matter to you if another woman is a bit fat? Or even very fat? It's hardly as if she'll be oblivious to it? Chances are she will be pretty miserable because she knows that so many women will be looking at her scornfully.

Personally I've never been on a diet because I think that women obsessing over weight is a miserable bloody way to spend time and I refuse to join in. The attitudes on here say it all really.

That for women, how they look to others is the be-all and end-all - irrespective of their state of pregnancy, BF, sleeplessness, depression or any of the other myriad of difficulties that jump up and bite women hard in the backside when they have children. Awful.

I am just FGS all over this thread.

For those who feel the need to justify it to others - please practice biting your lip. Don't let mean people in by going on the defensive about your weight. It's your weight, it's none of their business. Don't even mention it. And if someone brings it up just don't engage with it. There are so many more useful things to spend time doing than effectively apologising to mean-spirited types.

SardineQueen Mon 21-Mar-11 08:32:29

I also like the way that disability is a get out but the myriad of other things that come and hit you when you are pregnant/BF like sleep deprivation and depression are "no excuse".

Honestly why does it matter if some women somewhere are a bit fat? It's not catching hmm

msshapelybottom Mon 21-Mar-11 08:47:06

very well said SQ.

fluffles Mon 21-Mar-11 09:31:51

i can't beleive that nobody has mentioned or cares that fat accumulation is governed by hormones. this is a scientific fact.

while it's not known yet what exact effect pregnancy and breastfeeding hormones have on fat accumulation and fat burning, we do know that the menopause has a marked effect on fat accumulation in the abdomen (if no hrt taken) so it's not out of this world to assume pregnancy and bf also have an effect.

those who get on the moral high ground about how we should all eat less and move more are imo simply the lucky ones.

spidookly Mon 21-Mar-11 10:15:09

Well said Sardine (again)

haggis01 Mon 21-Mar-11 10:49:19

I always got slimmer after the first year until I had my 4th in my early 40's - I just can't shift the weight at all. My sister read a paper recently on psychological aspects of pregnancy and reckons it's because I loved being pregnant so much and don't want to really acknowledge that my childcarrying days are over that I deep down like having the roly poly tumm and hence despite running, workouts and diets I can't lose it!

AliGrylls Mon 21-Mar-11 14:22:38

novice, I merely meant to use the example of playing with baby as an example. For the past 4 months I have not been able to prioritise exercise because DS2 is such a bad sleeper I need to prioritise sleep. There are lots of challenges to looking after a baby, not just playing and some mothers need to make other things a priority instead of exercise.

It is vanity to want to look good, however, this is less of a "sin" than looking down on people who are struggling to lose their baby weight for whatever reason.

noviceoftheday Mon 21-Mar-11 15:43:58

AliGrylls, I understand where you're coming from. I am currently pregnant again and looking forward to the baby but dreading those first few months when it all seems to stretch into one very long day! Hope DS2 sleeps soon.

PepsiPopcorn Mon 21-Mar-11 16:01:10

Do you have any links to this info please fluffles?

TotallyandUtterly Mon 21-Mar-11 18:10:19

I could not agree more SardineQueen.

This is a horrible thread, maybe we should all keep our noses in our own business and not judge other people's weight when we have NO idea about their circumstances.

fluffles Mon 21-Mar-11 18:22:39

pepsipopcorn i would recommend this guy's writing: www.garytaubes.com/ however you really need to read one of his books to get to the bottom of it all.

theresapotatoundermysink Mon 21-Mar-11 20:36:39

I'm eating biscuits while I read this thread.

PepsiPopcorn Mon 21-Mar-11 20:39:28

Thanks fluffles!

MuddlingMackem Mon 21-Mar-11 21:26:04

>>> mosschops30 Sun 20-Mar-11 17:35:03

You dont need to goto a gym to lose weight, misconception.

Run outside, take a jog, do a fitness dvd, or if you have a wii use that, do squats/lunges/sit ups at home. Use classes in a leisure centre or church hall. <<<<

Ah, but alas they all require child-free time, and when I get that I'm either using it to do all the general chores I can't get done with kids in tow, or I'm too flippin' tired to do anything.

noodle69 Mon 21-Mar-11 21:39:03

Why dont you incorporate it with your kids then muddling? 10 hours a day get outside and run round parks, walk, carry bags etc. I dont think exercise is something that should be seperate or anything extra than what life is normally like with kids.

MuddlingMackem Mon 21-Mar-11 21:48:14

noodle69

Sorry, if I'm being dense, but what 10 hours a day?

Most of the time during the week when I have no kids (ds at school, dd in morning nursery) I'm working. I do a lot of walking to and from buses, and that does help, better than jumping in a car, and I do walk places when I can. However, often I'm pushed for time because I need to be somewhere and end up getting a bus instead.

My daughter can be the world's worst slowcoach, which is really frustrating as she started off being a fast little walker, so going anywhere with her walking is usually just a stress-fest right now.

I'll get there in the end, and heaven knows I want to shift the weight, I'm certainly not comfortable like this, but it's not top priority right now.

mosschops30 Mon 21-Mar-11 21:54:46

You can so a fitness dvd with your kids there, do it with them, something fun like zumba where you can all dance around. Also you could do squats lunges and sit ups there with the kids.

Therr is space for exercise in most peoples lives unless you have serious health problems,but like another poster said most people will prefet tsi down with a cuppa and watch eastenders or go on mn than doing something useful

noodle69 Mon 21-Mar-11 21:58:12

Oh right I thought with kids at home. I work with kids and have a child and I run around with them a lot. I have the opposite problem in the day I hardly get to sit down as the kids will never let me!

It is harder if you are working but I definitely recommend trying to incorporate it in to your actual life rather than making extra work for yourself. I do stuff like run around with the kids, go to the soft play after work and run around up and down the slides, go on the park, obstacles course at the park etc. Also if you are lucky to live within a few miles of the shops walk back with all the weekly shop. It kills your arms but good for toning.

KatyTuncer Wed 04-Jul-12 16:05:37

I'm definitely passionate about helping mums be active and healthy (it's my job!)... but I hate to hear that we need an "excuse" to do what we want to do as mums. hmm

If YOU don't want to be fat (e.g. to be more healthy, able to do fun active things, set a good example to your kids, fit in clothes you like etc.) then don't be fat. Even if you do decide you have a "great excuse".

Would we dodge the shower and be smelly if we had a "great excuse" for being smelly??

(Does this analogy actually work?!)

trixie123 Wed 04-Jul-12 16:13:31

Thing is, to honsestly make a serious difference with exercise you do have to do a LOT. This twenty mins a day thing is crap (unless, Like my DP you can run about 7k in that time grin) and most mums of small children simply can't logistically fit it in regularly enough because either the time just isn't there, or else when they do get time, they prioritise housework, paid work, maybe spending an hour or two with their partners even!

ogodnotagain Wed 04-Jul-12 16:25:00

Zombie thread KatyTuncer. I presume you bumped it since you have a vested interest if it's your job?

madmomma Wed 04-Jul-12 16:27:52

I'm my normal weight 6m after dc3 but I have no arse, tits or waist sad How the fuck did that happen and what do I do about it? My arse is literally flat and I used to have a nice round one <sob>

PenisVanLesbian Wed 04-Jul-12 16:31:51

Actually you don't have to exercise a lot to make a difference. The Shred takes 25 mins a day and you will see a huge difference if you do it daily.

Do it, don't do it, but no time is an excuse. If you can't make 25 mins in your own living room.......

AlpinePony Wed 04-Jul-12 16:44:23

11 day so I'm clearly a more selfish mother than any of you.

I'm now on a major weight loss programme because I was overweight before I got pregnant and I don't want to be someone who blames having children for their weight.

Like another poster stated, it's more than possible to find time. I have 2 under 2, work ft, have my own business on top of that, no family for 500 miles and I still find the time to go to the gym, ride my horse and bike (albeit with a toddler on the back).

I refer you to my first paragraph. ;)

KellyElly Wed 04-Jul-12 16:49:19

Depends how many kids you've had I guess. Some people find it harder to get back into shape the more they have. I'm not overweight but my body has def changed after one and I can't pig out like I did as I put weight on my tummy which I didn't before.

KatyTuncer Wed 04-Jul-12 22:23:35

Once you decide it's a priority then I've found that almost all mums can get healthy and not be fat. Doing 20 mins exercise a day (or 25) is a good aim, but there are also lots of ways to make being active part of normal life so it doesn't seem like such a time drain. Basically things like standing up when you're on the phone, pacing up and down when you're waiting for a bus, holding your tummy in and walking a bit faster when you're pushing the buggy, balancing on one leg when you brush your teeth, pelvic floor pulses while you change a nappy.....

SoleSource Wed 04-Jul-12 22:33:56

I still have post pregnancy flab. it's only been thirteen years. Gimme a break!

bringmesunshine2009 Wed 04-Jul-12 22:43:58

Ha I lost it all and then some within 4 months of birth. So pleased was I that I have been stacking it on ever since. :D

ohmysilverballs Wed 04-Jul-12 23:01:56

I think max 9 months....

Yanbu

fatlazymummy Thu 05-Jul-12 06:24:37

It's up to the individual really. Personally I expected to[and did] lose my baby/pregnancy weight within a few months, and my subsequent weight gain was caused by overeating and lack of exercise.
Again, speaking for myself, it is important to distinguish between 'reasons' and 'excuses'. It is important to accept responsibility for our own health, and therefore if I make excuses I am only trying to fool myself.
Having said that, I don't really care if other people say they still have 'baby weight' 5 years on, or whatever length of time. It's up to them and I'm not going to judge them for it.

FutureNannyOgg Thu 05-Jul-12 07:45:54

There has been some research fairly recently that indicated your natural weight resets higher after your first child, making it much harder to get back to and maintain your pre pregnancy weight as your metabolism adjusts to keep the higher set point.

exoticfruits Thu 05-Jul-12 08:09:40

There is only one answer-NO.

DontmindifIdo Thu 05-Jul-12 08:34:09

Well, I figured 9 months on, 9 months off for the weight. I breast fed and the weight did fall off to start with, by 5 months I was the same pre-pregnancy weight, but not hte same shape, a lot of woman change how they carry weight after pregnancy (not as obvious if you were a little overweight to start with, but I noticed, my thighs used to be my problem area, they aren't now, but my tummy is, which used to be the last place I gained weight before).

However, after my terribly smug "oh, I'm back in my size 6 jeans by 4 months" feelings, I then stopped breast feeding at 5 months and the weight piled on, I realised I'd been eating a crap but getting away with it as DS was such a greedy hungry little boy. The photos of me at DS's Christening (6.5 months) I look a right bloater, my face is huge. that weight took longer to lose and involved me changing the way I ate. Luckily, it coinsided with weaning DS off purees onto real food so I was paying more attention to what we were eating as a family and started cutting out the crap and eating healthy, slow release foods.

bronze Thu 05-Jul-12 08:46:40

I am always going to blame my Dcs for my weight gain.
Not to them of course but the fact is I will never be the same again. I am tall and was 9stone with a boyish figure when I got pregnant. Small boobs, no bum or hips.
I am now nearly three stone heavier but I look like I have a pannier bustle and my ribs are actually sticking further out, I blame this on a nearly ten lb baby making himself room. I will never be able to get back to my previous weight.
On a positive tone I am still happily within my bmi, look fine and may lose a little more when I finish feeding dc4

KitCat26 Thu 05-Jul-12 09:20:41

I still haven't shifted the last 1.5st of the babyweight, my youngest is 17mts.
I had two DCs in 17mths, put on 3st with my first pregnancy and was still 2st over when I fell pregnant with DD2 (but didn't put on so much).

DD1 is a slow walker whilst I push DD2 in the buggy so no chance to raise my heart rate there.

I am finally in a place (mentally and practically) where I can get the time on my own to excercise properly in the evenings. The weight isn't falling off but at least I feel better for it - its only been a few weeks. My metabolism is very different though.

For some the weight falls off, others (like me) it doesn't, meh, not my business to judge whether other peoples reasons are valid.

Flobbadobs Thu 05-Jul-12 10:20:21

I lost all my baby weight really quickly this time, however... While pg I had the most unbelieveable heartburn. Couldn't eat anything without feeling so ill afterwards so I kept my weight in check throughout my pg bu accident really.
Afterr I had DD though I rediscovered food. 4 months down the line and I've piled it back on!
Am taking up running again soon -now I'm sure my insides aren't going to drop out-- and doing some yoga.
I can still use the baby weight excuse but 5 years is pushing it! smile

Flobbadobs Thu 05-Jul-12 10:20:42

Major strikeout failure there!

tulipsaremyfavourite Thu 05-Jul-12 10:28:52

I still use it. Dc's are 9 and 6! Am gonna use it as long as i need to!

laurenamium Thu 05-Jul-12 10:46:59

I put on 4 stone when I was pregnant- went from riding and looking after 4 horses to being on complete house arrest (all the snow and no balance sad) and didn't change my diet to reflect this.

DD is 18mo now and it's only been in the last 6 months that I've started to lose the weight, I have 2 pounds left til I'm pre baby. I have no Childcare and I'm lone parent smile so I've just walked and started riding again but only twice a week.

My body will never how it was sad

GualSemen Sun 08-Jul-12 20:55:54

Hi there; I no one should make having a baby an excuse for carrying the baby weight for more than a year, after I have my son I was back to size 10 when he was six months old back to my old dresses and Jeans., All I did was attend some aerobic and cardio blast classes at Brixton rec.

Krumbum Sun 08-Jul-12 21:30:22

Lovely thread, fat shaming, again... Having a baby is a big deal and changes your body and life drastically so yes I do think it could affect some people for longer. But also it doesn't matter! We shouldn't have to feel like we need 'excuses' for whatever weight we are. It's irrelevant and nothing to do with other people. It's sad how obsessed people are about their own and other women's weight.

NovackNGood Sun 08-Jul-12 22:47:10

Since their is no reason not to be back to before pregnancy weight within weeks of birth then using it as an excuse is only fooling themselves.

TheCunningStunt Sun 08-Jul-12 23:04:27

This thread was started in march 2011....

McHappyPants2012 Sun 08-Jul-12 23:12:28

Thanks to separated stomach muscles I can loose the weight, but my stomach will be saggy and I am too scared to have a tummy tuck

holyfishnets Sun 08-Jul-12 23:17:36

I think about a year is the limit.

modifiedmum Sun 08-Jul-12 23:57:09

a year i think, my hair stopped falling out at about that point to and my body felt like it was back to its normal shape... i didnt breast feed as of meds i take for a medical condition but it came off naturally!

Krumbum Mon 09-Jul-12 00:23:27

Often people believe they are overweight when they have loose skin, that's not gonna go. It's not being overweight though. I think a lot of people would feel better about themselves if we saw lax skin as normal, which it is for a lot of people.
Novack, what is wrong with you?

2rebecca Mon 09-Jul-12 10:07:12

2-3 years max. Most "baby weight" isn't related to pregnancy but more the fact that exercise is difficult with small kids and people at home all day snack more.

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