to wonder about DP drastic weight loss

[Deliainthemaking]

We are both big people, he has started a personal trainer very good , strict diet losing lots of weight.

I would do it but don't have the time SAHM etc, I'm big and always trying to loose weight, I've been trying to since my DS 18 months but havent ot far tbh. He was quite insistent on me joning a gym soon after the baby.

I wonder if he is doing this to get slim then fuck off with another prettier woman as he;s sick off waiting for me to get slim. As you hear about this stuff being a sign.


Am I just a an insecure lunatic? or a red flag?

[bintofbohemia]

Dunno about the lunatic bit but maybe insecure. If he was going to fuck off with someone else why would he be making you go to the gym?

[Desperateforthinnerthighs]

I would go for insecure lunatic but then I dont know anything about your relationship??

I am on a real fitness mission at the moment and have lost quite a bit of weight.......my DH is a big guy.

I am not doing it to run off with a fit bloke, I am doing it to make ME feel better about me.

Prob same for him - YABU (hopefully)

[cyb]

Sounds like he wants to slim down and get fit, wants you to get fit too and you should join him rather than questionning his motives

Are you more comfortable with him being fat?

[FollowMe]

I think you are feeling odd about it because it's making you feel bad about not tackling your own weight. Your dh has been encouraging you to join him in losing weight but you've been putting it off and now he's decided to go ahead and tackle his weight alone. Good for him!
Are you unhappy with your weight and fitness levels? Do you want to lose weight? If so, then ditch the excuses and joi. Your dh in doing something about it! As a sahm you should have plenty of tine to go to the gym, most have creches!

[LouMou]

How come he has the time to do it but you don't?

[curlymama]

I agree entirely with Followme.

It sounds like he wants to support you in losing weight, maybe he could look after the children while you go for a swim at the weekends or evenings. And most gyms have creches. Or you could start by just looking at your diet. If you do it and feel better about yourself, you will be less likely to get paranoid.

[Deliainthemaking]

None of my gyms have creches we live apart and doing an open university course it had to go on the back burner,

obv I am a lil grr I miss the gym and the feeling that im getting fitter and so little progress has been made.

[mmsmum]

Go to the gym when your DP is at home, or take the kids walking during the day. Eating right doesn't take much more time than eating badly and if your DC's nap or can play together for even 20 minutes then you have 20 mins to exercise at home, you don't need anything.

I think he is just trying to get healthy and wants you to do the same, after all you have young DC's to be healthy for

[mmsmum]

Sorry you only have one DS, I thought I read 2. He's young enough to be napping during the day and with only one you can jog/power walk with the pram. There might be Buggy Fit classes near you?

[LoveMyGirls]

He's in the right place to be losing weight, that's great for him. It doesn't sound as if you are in the right place to do it, sometimes that is just the way it goes, other things take prioirty and there are only so many hours in the day. I have to be in the right frame of mind and be very very fed up of my weight before I will seriously try to lose weight, maybe you are like me?

At the start of Jan we both said we would try to lose weight, DH has been on a mission and lost over a stone, I have bimbled along not making as much effort as I could because I've been concentrating on other things (paintings and had my toes operated on so I couldn't get them wet for 2 weeks, there were times I couldn't even wear shoes so exercise was out of the question) so I only lost half a stone so far but I'm happy to carry on at a slower pace, as long as I'm not putting it all back on thats ok imo.

PS If you do want to do something about it Zumba is good fun so it doesn't feel you are working as hard as you are

[verytellytubby]

The 30 day shred only takes 20 minutes a day and you could do at home while your dc naps.

[Deliainthemaking]

Cyb- sorry missed yopur post

no I don't mind either way, but I get the impression he settled with fat old me coz he couldn't do any better, but thats my insecurity I suppose.

He is very possesive and I see that as a display of guilt, e.g. you judge people by your own standards so If you think your OH goes out just to pull then that must be what they do.
e.g. he doesnt invite me out with his mates but When I go out he asks /assumes he's invited. red light goes off abit.

[Deliainthemaking]

Zumba may be an Idea

[LoveMyGirls]

I think it's important to find things that help you lose weight without it feeling like that's what you are doing iyswim?

For me its zumba, swimming, ice skating, dancing, making sure I take extra steps like parking further away or using the upstairs loo instead of downstairs or holding my tummy in while I'm driving/ watching tv etc whereas DH will go jogging or play football which seems like too much effort to me.

Little changes in food habits too like replacing cheese with low fat cheese, change bread for crackers, crisps for rice cakes, vodka instead of wine if your going to drink, sweetner instead of sugar etc

What small things would you not mind changing?

[MorticiaAddams]

Only you can sort out your food issues but you can exercise with a baby/toddler. I used to do fast walking round a local nature reserve with a group of other mums and their pushchairs. You know the sort and don't want to get in their way!