Making dd work when she is off school...

[Carrotsandcelery]

My dd is off school today with a sore throat and a cough. It was a borderline case but I decided she could stay at home if she did some workbooks at home. We are going to go for a gentle walk with the dog later and then do some art or craft in the afternoon.
She seems to think I am the devil incarnate.
Does this seem unreasonable to you? Should I just let her mooch about watching tv all day? Am I an evil Mum.
She is 9, nearly 10.

[crazygracieuk]

My son is the same age and home today. He won't be doing any work but he'll be having no tv or walks/crafts either. He's having a snooze on the sofa and I have the radio on for him.

[onepieceoflollipop]

Unless she had a temp (or other relevant issues that you haven't mentioned) then I would have sent her in tbh.

Imo if she is having a day off then let her have a day off. Doesn't have to be just tv, but I would leave the workbooks for another day.

[scurryfunge]

If she is well enough to walk the dog and do some workbooks then she sounds well enough to be in school.

Maybe she really is ill and cannot face anything other than mooching.

[TryingVeryHard]

Does she have a fever or a headache?
If not, then YANBU.
It probably is a very good way for her to see that not going to school is not just fun.

[Carrotsandcelery]

I think I am worried I should have sent her in. Dh said to send her but I kept her, mainly because she is prone to tonsilitus and currently has a sore throat.
If I had sent her I would have worried all day too that I would get a phone call to come and take her home.
Arrrggghhh!
Sometimes the decision is so tough!

[MamaLazarou]

I agree that if she is well enough for schoolwork and a walk then she is well enough for school.

You're only too ill for school if all you can do is lie in bed and groan softly, IMO. Or if you're particularly ifectious.

[mankyscotslass]

DS is nearly 9, if he is off school then he either stays in bed or is on the sofa with a duvet and a book. No crafts, DS or TV time for him.

He hates me.

[TryingVeryHard]

Don't worry Carrots, better to be safe than sorry, and nothing you can do about it now

[MamaLazarou]

INfectious

[Carrotsandcelery]

She has no fever or headache but is as white as a sheet and very lethargic.
She should also have her favourite after school activity tonight but doesn't want to go
Like I say, it is a borderline one.

[Ihavewelliesbuttheyrenotgreen]

If shes white as a sheet and very lethargic then I don't think that she should be going for a walk. Not sure about the workbooks and craft though.

[TryingVeryHard]

Agree, don't drag her on a walk if that's the case, and see how she gets on with smaller tasks.

[BristolJim]

If they're off becuase they're ill - TV and sleep on the sofa. If they're off becuase they're in quarantine - reading and workbooks.

If they're well enough to whinge, they're well enough to work.

[BettyCash]

If she was really ill she wouldn't have put up a fight. Well enough to fight, well enough for school.

[Shodan]

I'm even stricter than mankyscotslass. In my house, if you're ill enough to stay off school, then you must be really ill, therefore Need Your Sleep. So it's bed, curtains drawn, no TV/laptop.

If they're feeling better after a day's sleep, then they can come downstairs and watch TV after normal school hours, but still have an early (ish) night.

The one thing they do get is a choice for lunch, which they come down for, then straight back upstairs.

I'm so mean

[ZZZenAgain]

no if dd is off school because she feels sick then she does no schoolwork and she can watch tv, mooch about

[eileenslightlytotheleft]

Carrots, it's good to give kids a day off if you think they are on the verge of coming down with something/getting rundown, especially if they are prone to tonsilitis. It's the best way to fend off an illness, imo. Forget the workbooks - if she doesn't want to do her favourite afterschool activity then she probably is poorly.

[bonkers20]

I'm going to buck the trend and say that I would just have an easy day with DD. I speak as a parent of a child who rarely has time off school and loves to be there (mostly) so if he complained of sore throat etc and didn't quite feel up to school I'd let him stay home and do calm things.

I think you can still be well enough to go for a walk and do some crafts, but still not be well enough for school.

At 9 they're not going to miss much school work.

My DS is an avid reader so would probably spend much of the time reading. I don't think we've ever had a day when the telly's been on all day!

[squeakytoy]

If she is upto a walk in the fresh air, then it wont do her any harm, if anything, it may make her feel a bit better.

[ChippingInMistressSteamMop]

If as a parent you decide they are too ill to go to school then I don't see why they can't watch TV or make something crafty if they feel like it.

There's no way if she's pale and lethargic I'd make her go for a walk - that's just mean.

It's hard to concentrate when you feel crap - why make her do workbooks? Let her rest for goodness sake. She's 9 not doing her GCSE's.

Watching TV passes the day while you are bundled up on the settee.

You as the parent make the choice about attendance - it's just mean to 'punish' the child with 'no TV' etc for the whole day.

I agree with a lot of your posts - but today I agree with your DD!!

[coccyx]

Its because you feel you should have sent her that you are insisting on workbooks and walks.
Pale and lethargic, sore throat and cough, god let her have duvet on settee

[Carrotsandcelery]

She fell asleep on the sofa so workbooks were abandoned and she is now watching tv. Poor kid! I feel like a totally rubbish mum now.