I know I am at least partially in the wrong here
basically I feel that dh shouts at the kids too much and for the wrong things
he shouts at them for what I consider quite routine and normal brotherly joshing, because he thinks it will escalate and they will upset each other, or they will do it to other children and go too far and get into trouble
ds2 HAS gone too far with teasing and upset another child (he's 6) and we took it very seriously, made him apologise and he was very contrite
but I just think dh i9s overzealous - for example he bawled at them this morning because ds1 was gently tugging ds2's pony tail, he was sat on the sofa with ds2 leaning back into his lap sitting on the floor and they were gently teasing each other, ds1 was saying "this is your handle, ding dong" and they were both giggling
dh shrieked at them to stop it. I sent the boys to get their coats and then told dh I thought he was wrong to stop them from gentle play-acting (which I should NOT have done, I should have left it until later so the boys were unaware )
his view is that all behaviour of this sort needs stamping out because they will go too far and get into trouble (apparently they were told off at afterschool club the other day because ds2 hit ds1 on the arm after he pushed in front of him in the snack queue)
my view is that a certain amount of play fighting and joshing is inevitable between two brothers close in age, it is healthy, and what we should be doing is teaching them the difference between that and actual unkindness (which I think they know the difference anyway). Surely sometimes as brothers they WILL go too far and upset each other, but we don't need to throw the baby out with the bath water and stop them from doing what all brothers do? DH shouts at them for low-level "ner ner" type behaviour when they beat each other on the Wii as well because he thinks if we stamp it all out, then they will not go too far and upset somebody
it all ended very unpleasantly with me saying "maybe we should just have a three foot rule then fgs" and him stomping out - he is quite rightly upset in part because I tackled him while the boys were still in earshot but also he deeply disagrees with me, and I foresee more conflict over it
who is right? I can take it if you all say I am an arsehole
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Horrible row with dh :-(
52 replies
littlepigshavebigears · 09/03/2011 09:16
OP posts:
holyShmoley ·
09/03/2011 09:29
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