to be annoyed that nobody will come near my children with chicken pox

[pennedin]

Feel free to tell me I am.

DDs have chicken pox. Have had them since Thursday.

We are restricted to the house. Friends whose children have had chicken pox have called in to keep us entertained and been lovely and helpful BUT my family is useless!

MIL won't come because she is worried she will get shingles. She is a perfectly healthy 65 year old.

My sister won't come because her husband is diabetic. Now I'm prepared to accept that he might have to be careful for some reason but surely she doesn't. They've both had chicken pox.

If they don't want to help, I'm fine with that but enough with the 'I'd love to help but better not'



Are they really at risk?

[ClaraMay]

Yabu! And I think you already know that.

[Shakirasma]

YABU Chicken pox is ridiculously contagious and can be caught more than once! If people want to stay away you should accept their wishes without complaint.

[worraliberty]

YABU shingles are very painful. How much help do you need if you have friends visiting too?

[mrsnich84]

your children are contagious - and shingles is horrific especially in the older generation or people who have supressed immune systems. YABVU. you wouldnt want to go visit someone who could give you or your kids a nasty illness.

[5inthebed]

DS1 and DS2 have both had chicken pox twice. The second time was far worse than the first, DS2 was nearly hospitalised.

Just because they have had it once, doesn;t mean they won;t get it again.

[worraliberty]

(Raises hand) I've had CP 3 bloody times. Twice mildly and the 3rd time really badly.

[pigletmania]

YABU chicken pox is a horrid illness and if possible you would not put yourself in a situation whereby you are likely to catch it, and you should respect that op. You sound quite spoilt, you already have help! Your MIL is elderly so like others have said will be likely to get shingles which is horrid, and your BIL is diabetic, and if his wife caught it and gave it to him than it could be serious.

[pennedin]

No, I know IABU really, I'm just feeling quite penned in now! I have been very conscientious and not taken them out of the house - no supermarket visits or nip to the shops.

Maybe if they left a colouring book on the step I wouldn't mind so much.

But I'll get my coat

[Rabat]

YABVU - wow!

Shingles is HORRIBLE.

[FudgeGirl]

You cannot catch shingles from someone with chickenpox, so your MIL is being unreasonable!

But can't blame anyone else if they don't want their kids to catch chickenpox.

[Bloodymary]

YUBU. Especially regarding your Mother.
Shingles really is very bad, and I know this because I have had it.

[CardyMow]

I've had CP 3 times, and lost a baby through CP. My 82yo Granny cought shingles at the start of December. She only came out of hospital on the 31st January, and is still ill with it and on medication for it. YABVVVVU.

[FudgeGirl]

To clarify:

YOU CAN'T CATCH SHINGLES FROM SOMEONE WITH CHICKENPOX!

Thank you

[pennedin]

Thank you fudgegirl, that is what I thought.

But maybe I'm wrong

[Ephiny]

You don't catch shingles, but if the MIL could catch chickenpox putting her at risk of shingles at a later time. I would stay away too. YABU.

If you think it's so harmless and that others are not at risk, then why are you 'restricted to the house'

[Ephiny]

?

[melonian]

You can't catch shingles from someone with chickenpox. Shingles is activated by chance or sometimes through stress usually many years after infection with chickenpox. You can however catch chickenpox from someone with shingles.

I agree, bit selfish of them to refuse but it's not a good idea to have any expectations at all about childcare help from family - you only ever end up disappointed.

Hope your DDs are better and scabby soon

[CardyMow]

cought??!! CAUGHT FFS.

[nobodyimportant]

You don't catch shingles from chicken pox! It's the CP virus in your own system being re-activated, not a fresh infection.

However YAstillBU as others have said it is possible to catch it more than once, if rare, so it's up to them if it is a risk they want to take. I know it sucks but it will all be over soon.

[suzikettles]

Just to reiterate what fudge said...

you can't catch shingles from chickenpox

(Although you can catch chickenpox from shingles)

[FudgeGirl]

You're not wrong pennedin, it's true.

You can catch chickenpox by coming into contact with someone with shingles (but it's contagious via the fluid in the blisters, so you're talking very close contact.)

But you CANNOT catch shingles from someone with chickenpox. Neither can you catch shingles from someone with shingles.

[worraliberty]

Just incase no-one read it the first 100 times "You can't catch shingles from someone with CP"

But you're still being unreasonable if you think she should put herself at risk of catching CP.

[Politixmum]

YABU and as ClaraMay says, I think you know it. DD just had chicken pox and I asked the Outlaws to check with their doctor whether their elderliness and MiL's diabetes meant we shouldn't go up to visit, although (partly because) MiL was just out of a long stay in hospital and desperate to see her only grandchild. (In the end DD didn't have the dreaded spottiness too long and was no longer infectious by the time we went up.) Elderly people do have to be careful, it doesn't take much to start them on a slippery slope.
But are there other issues there? Are they normally unsupportive and is this an opportunity to have a think about that?
If kids have had pox since Thursday, it won't be long before they are back in circulation and they are not likely to have it again (if the pox was caught at school age apparently).
xxx