Skip to main content
Skip to main navigation
Skip to talk navigation

Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 ··· 9 10

AIBU?

AIBU WWYD Proms and Limos

238 replies

mmsmum · 28/02/2011 10:39

Hi all,

I have got all wound up about this and would like to know if I'm BU and need to let it go or if I'm right to be annoyed and WWYD.

DD is in her last year of primary and has her leavers dance/prom to go to (we don't have a date yet but I'd assume around June). Given that this is February I haven't given this too much thought other than thinking she can wear a dress she wore to a wedding last year, that she'll want her hair done and to go in a limo with all her friends.

So last week she comes home from school to tell me that one of the girls has invited 'everyone' to go in limos. Except she hasn't invited everyone, she has left out my DD, her bf and a girl with SN (there may be another 2 left out but DD isn't sure).

AIBU in thinking how dare this woman take away my daughters chance of attending her prom in a limo with the rest of her friends? They will all be going together and talking about their experience while my DD has been left out. She is going to go with her bf but a limo for 2 is a bit ott! It's really not fair that this has been taken away from her is it? She can't even invite another group of friends as they are all going already.

I'm also annoyed that the mum who has arranged all this is head of the pta. Does this make a difference? I think it does, I think she should have invited everyone and not left anyone out. Why has she done this in February about 4 months before the event, and is she the only one who knows the date/venue etc?

I'm really upset for DD, she'll still go and arrive with her bf, but I don't think it will be the same. And in the run up she'll have to put up with everyone talking about it. I don't know what the atmosphere will be like at the prom with so many going together and a few on the sidelines.

There is some history between this girl and DD but we are going back a few years when this girl picked on mine, excuse was her parents were splitting up. Since then they have been to each others birthdays. The girl told my DD that she and her bf weren't invited because they are too hyper.

I am finding it hard to believe that anyone would exclude a few girls like this and wonder whether I should phone this woman and ask if she realises what she has done and did she mean to do it? But then am I going to look like an idiot and make it worse for DD? DD's esteem and confidence has taken quite a knock and she isn't looking forward to the prom as much now. She has been through a hard time and it would have been really nice if she had something to look forward to

Sorry this is so long! AIBU and WWYD if you would do anything?

OP posts:

Report

TrillianAstra · 28/02/2011 10:41

Limos for 11 year olds are massively OTT.
It's not kind to invite all but 3 of a class of chldren to something, but if your child said "I don't like X, Y, and Z and don't want them at my party or to share in my treat" then what would you do?

mmsmum · 28/02/2011 10:49

Honestly Trillian, if I had decided to organise it I would have done it for everyone. It's not about one child, it's everyone's night. There isn't even any reason for the girls to mix, they will need at least 2 limos to fit everyone in.

OP posts:

GastonTheLadybird · 28/02/2011 10:49

Limos for 11yr olds are obscene/ridiculous.

However, sounds like this woman has been mean intentionally leaving out your DD and her best friend. Don't really think there is much good that can come of it now as limo is probably booked. They also do have a max capacity, could this be part of reason that she has had to be tight on numbers?

Get your DD and her friend dropped off in a really nice sports car or friends posh car maybe? They can then say they didn't want to get a trashy limo anyway!

Diablo82 · 28/02/2011 11:06

YABU - woul;d you invite children that your daughter did not like to participate in something if you knew it would upset your daughter. For what its worth I think it is very mean on the part of the other child and her mum but they are not obliged to fund other people's night out of charity.

mmsmum · 28/02/2011 11:06

Thanks Gaston, I think I'll need to find a ferrari or something, anyone got one I could borrow? DD would like that actually.

Whether they are ott or not doesn't really matter to my DD! Everyone does it now so it's definitely become the 'norm'. I don't like too far away from the school who was asked if they could accommodate a helicopter last year!

I don't think it's numbers, two limos would take all the girls in the class with room for parents to chaperone if they want.

I'm still really pissed off

OP posts:

mmsmum · 28/02/2011 11:07

Diablo they are not funding anything, everyone is paying there own share, she is just organising it. I can't see how the girl would be upset, they have been to each others birthdays in the last two years!

OP posts:

cantspel · 28/02/2011 11:14

See this is what happens when we copy other countries fads and fancies.
We should stick to the good old fashioned leaver disco with mum made buffet and kids being dropped off in the family car.
11 year olds dont need proms and limo's.

Rosedee · 28/02/2011 11:18

Jeez my last day of primary was celebrated with a waterfight for the whole of year 6. Prom at 11?

mmsmum · 28/02/2011 11:23

Is this a Scottish thing? I thought everyone did it.

Either way it's not helping me or my DD

OP posts:

AlistairSim · 28/02/2011 11:23

Could you organise a limo for the ones who have been left out?

I don't understand why the mother being the head of the pta would have any relevance though?

chopchopbusybusy · 28/02/2011 11:23

I agree the whole prom/limo thing for 11 year olds is OTT. However, it's happening and your DD is upset. If I were you I'd say to the mum that your DD is a bit vague on the details of the transport to the prom that she, as head of the PTA has organised. Can she just clarify the details. Just take it from there depending on her reaction.

Diablo82 · 28/02/2011 11:25

I didn't realise they were self funding - if it is only 4 children left out then it is really mean.

curlymama · 28/02/2011 11:27

I would say something to the other Mum, she has delibrately ignored the feelings of other children to make her own shine. In the long run, women like that do their children no favours.

I'm all for children not having to invite people that don't want to to their own birthday parties, but this isn't a birthday treat, it's for all the girls in that year group.

I would also make the head teacher aware of the situation if it doesn't change, as the school should know if there is likely to be a situation that will cause upset in school hours.

SoupDragon · 28/02/2011 11:32

it wouldn't be a "limo for 2" unless you were planning on leaving out the other shunned girl(s)?
Who have you heard this from? The mother or the girl?
The only reason I would consider a Limo is because I have a friend who has 3 :)

KnittedBreast · 28/02/2011 11:35

limos at any age are silly, at 11 its shocking.

get a white horse for your daughter to arrive on instead

cat64 · 28/02/2011 11:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

TheEvilDead2 · 28/02/2011 11:39

AIBU in thinking how dare this woman take away my daughters chance of attending her prom in a limo with the rest of her friends?

For real???

mmsmum · 28/02/2011 11:42

Love the white horse idea!

Soupdragon, no DD's bf's mum has asked the others by way of written invitation if they would like to be involved in something too but as far as I know they haven't been in touch yet. I don't understand, where have I heard what from? Can your friend lend me a limo lol

Curly I was thinking that too, it seems that she wants to make her own DD look great. Do you really think I should phone the school? I don't want to look like I'm telling tales. Thanks for agreeing that it should be everyone.

I think being head of the pta does make difference, al beit not a huge one but she has access to info. no one else does which has allowed her to get in there first so to speak, and in bloody February, and it's the pta that organise the prom/dance, she should know better.

Evildead yes I am for real, of course I am. All the other girls are going together and mine has been left out. She would have loved to have gone with all her friends but she can't now.

OP posts:

TheEvilDead2 · 28/02/2011 11:44

It sounds like 5 haven't been invited that's plenty if you want to organize something. Sounds like Ms. PTA is just better at geting things sorted. Don't expect others to do for you and your kid.

MmeLindt · 28/02/2011 11:44

Ok. Sorry but I did not read to the end.

I got to the bit where your DD was being left out of the limo.

Sorry, but I find going to a prom in a limo at the end of Primary school seriously naff and would be glad that my DD had a way out.

Emmanana · 28/02/2011 11:45

Why bother with a Limo ? Get onto your local funeral service and ask if you can hire a Daimler for an hour or so. Much cheaper than a limo and your DD and friends will look like Royalty driving along.
Rustle up some adult friends to sling a few cameras around their necks, and 'Pap' your daughter as she comes out of your house, flashes going off like fireworks.
She will feel really special....

Vallhala · 28/02/2011 11:46

Limos for 11 yos are totally OTT

Limos are tacky. Always.

The other mother is under no obligation to include anyone she or her child don't want when she is paying for it and arranging it - unless she is arranging it on behalf of the school in which case she has a responsibility not to exclude anyone. This doesn't appear to be the case here.

Nonetheless I feel for your daughter and if I were you I'd consider something far more fun and less tacky than a limo for DD, be that arriving on a Ducati or a Harley, on a horse/in a pony and trap, in an open top sports car, whatever, and forgetting about being cross with people who have every right to do as they please without deferring to other families.

If it helps, DD1, who is soon to be 16, is most peed off. She was hoping to attend her prom by helicopter... don't laugh, we have a friend who is a commercial pilot... but as she (heli pilot, not DD!) is in NZ my daughter will have to think of an (affordable) alternative - and not a sodding luminous pink stretched piece of American tin-can!

I foresee a Ducati arrival... :o

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Email address

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

MmeLindt · 28/02/2011 11:47

YANBU in being upset that your DD is being left out though.

But I have to tell you that limos for 11yo school leavers are not normal all over UK. I am Scottish and my mum has told me about it but I would never do this.

Zippylovesgeorge · 28/02/2011 11:48

I hate proms & I hate limos - especially for 11 year olds.

Why not do something original and find someone with a vintage car or a snazzy convertable that would fit the 3 girls in it. It would draw more attention that another IMO chavvy limo

MmeLindt · 28/02/2011 11:49

oooh, just had a thought. Where are you in Scotland? We had lovely wedding cars from a guy in Perth, not sure if he is still doing it, but can have a look.

He had vintage Jaguar MKII like this

Much classier than a limo.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 ··· 9 10

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.