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Rocky marriage

14 replies

lolanatalie · 26/02/2011 17:06

Does anyone have a marriage that is happy all the time? Or do all of them have rocky patches?

OP posts:
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KazBarTFG · 26/02/2011 17:13

generally it's qute plain sailing, but when we argue, i can sense the tension and it just explodes...

we completely overreact and theaten to leave etc etc.


Just letting off steam I suppose and never in front od dd, but we need to learn to realise the tension earlier and diffuse it...that's what we're working on

hth

Is everything ok?

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PeterAndreForPM · 26/02/2011 17:14

I have a good marriage

it isn't all plain sailing, at times it has been rocky

But the mutual respect is never shaken

you ok ?

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BlackBag · 26/02/2011 17:19

To the outside world we probably look like we have a fun, fantastic marriage and when it is good it is very very good but....

it's not good when we are apart/working alot.

Around about 6 months after each DD was born I fell apart from lack of support (DH not great with demands of babies) so a particular low point then.

Also feeling a lack of support at the moment probably because we've spent no time together recently just for fun.

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happycamel · 26/02/2011 18:59

3 year anniversary on Monday. Have yet to hit a rocky patch. We really don't argue. I married my best friend and I am very very lucky. If anything irritates us we talk about it before it escalates and we really respect each other.

I think it helps that we have similar interests I don't do much girly stuff (time doing makeup, at hairdresser, watching soaps etc) and he doesn't do much blokey stuff (football, pubs etc).

Having said all that we're due our first next month, maybe it all fall apart then!!

My mum and stepdad have been together nearly 6 yrs and there's no signs of trouble there. Mum said she knew it wasn't going to work with my Dad before they made it down the aisle, they were still married 15 yrs though.

OP are you just curious or is there something worrying you.

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curlymama · 26/02/2011 18:59

I think marriages take alot of work at times!

We've only been married for just over a year, so generally it's very happy, but I do find myself making much more effort to resolve arguements and compromise than I did with my ex who I was never married too but was with for a lot longer.

I see it as a little like having children, really bloody hard sometimes, but well worth the effort and ultimatley amazing with the potential to make me exremely happy.

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youbethemummylion · 26/02/2011 19:16

Marriage is difficult and takes work. If you ask any couples who have been together for a long time (and I mean like 30 years and more) I bet most will say there were times when they thought it was all over but since then there have also been times when they felt as much in love as they did on their wedding day.

Also children put SO much strain on relationships. I personally think it is ok to love someone but ocassionally not like them. No one is perfect and everyone (especially if you are planning to be with them for the rest of your life) is going to annoy, irritate and generally piss you off once in a while. As long as you can see this for what it is a temporary blip and not 'the end' then you should be fine.

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FourFortyFour · 26/02/2011 19:19

DH and I didn't have to work at our relationship at all for many years. An old friend said that meant there was a problem Hmm. Since we have had our children we have to make sure we get time alone together and also are more aware of feeling tired and will apologise very quickly and easily if we have snapped at each other. DH and I have been through a lot of difficult times but we have never stopped loving each other, being in love or being best friends and I am certain we will be together for ever.

Having a rocky patch doesn't have to mean the relationship is doomed. The important bit is how you cope with it.

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lovechoc · 26/02/2011 19:22

I think marriage is something that does take a lot of effort and communication is definately the key to it all. If you talk things over, things seem to sail on smoothly. If you lose your way from time to time, then arguments occur.

For us, it tends to happen when DH is night shift and I am on my own with the DC for two or three days and nights at a time. Once he's off and we have time to talk then everything's fine again.

I'd be surprised at any couple who haven't had one cross word with each other since getting married. I'd imagine it is rare!

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raindroprhyme · 26/02/2011 19:23

It is really hard work especially when you are juggling work, 3 kids and a house.
We had 1 year of counselling to get our marriage back on track after a ready to jack it in point. It really helped and we understand the way each other works much better which means we comunicate better.
Everyone thinks everyone elses marrages must be better than theirs. They arn't what happens behind closed doors and all that.

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foreverondiet · 26/02/2011 20:34

Have been married for nearly 13 years and its always happy, I think as we are both very laid back and reasonable, and we communicate very well, I can't remember last time we argued about anything. I guess it helps that we both have good jobs so not worried about money.

We have 3 DC and someone said would be hard after they were born but it wasn't...

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ByTheSea · 26/02/2011 20:42

I consider my marriage happy. We love and trust each other and are best friends. We have had a lot of stress but have weathered it together and continue to weather it together.

That said, there are times when it can be a bit rocky and he really gets on my nerves.

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LaurieFairyCake · 26/02/2011 20:44

We have a great marriage, we still argue like bastards occasionally. We piss each other off and we can both be stubborn.

We are in it for the long haul though and we both know it takes work.

We don't argue about anything important though and we respect each other. We also don't disparage each other in company, we are never jealous and we don't try and control each other.

We are also equally difficult to live with Grin

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lovechoc · 27/02/2011 19:36

"We are also equally difficult to live with"

Haha - that can be said for DH and myself, actually (as much as I hate admitting it!!).

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KazBarTFG · 27/02/2011 20:24

yesterday DH was lovely. today he is a wanker.

hows that for rocky?

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