This is going to be rather a rant as I'm still wound up, so please bear with me...
To cut a long story short, due to his crazy behaviour in the past, DD (2.4) sees her dad at a contact centre for 2 x 2 hours per month (his request re: times and frequency) but, although I have PR and he doesn't, they have never ever kept me 'in the loop' as to what is going on there, other than odd comments about his refusal to comply, his reluctance to engage with DD and how they want to "murder him" for his behaviour in general whilst there.
As I deal directly with his solicitor (I begrudge spending £200+ for my solicitor to write a letter that I could write myself, so no longer use her), I have explained to the contact centre that I really need copies of correspondence made between them and his solicitor so that I know the facts of what is going on (e.g. his non-compliance and the fact that they are apparently applying for CAFCASS intervention as all else has failed) so that when I have to reply to letters his solicitor sends me I can reply accurately based on fact and what they have already been told, and also not look like a dick (or a liar) for getting stuff wrong. I have been asking for this since April, we're 10 months on and still nothing...Every time I ask (explaining why I need the info) the manager says she'll get me copies...still waiting. She said at the start of Jan that she would leave them in an envelope for me (I was working there at the time), but didn't. 2 weeks ago at contact she said she'd post them to me...she didn't. I feel like I'm banging my head against a brick wall with it. I could pay a solicitor to write and ask, but that doesn't mean they would do it, and I'd then be hundreds of pounds down for nothing, so I can see no point.
As well as this, they don't ever contact me in any other ways. This morning I turned up with DD, as per the agreement, to find that they'd decided contact wouldn't run this week with it being half term. They hadn't told me. I asked if they'd let DD's dad know, because much as I detest the man, he has a 150 mile drive each way and I'm not so callous as to not care if he'd come all that way to see her for nothing, but they couldn't tell me. They said "some dads" had been told they could still go to the dads group they were running instead. I asked if he was one of them. They said they didn't know. I asked if they could phone him and ask if he'd been told (we have no direct contact because of his past harassment issues) but they said they didn't have his number (though I know they've phoned him several times in the past).
They appear to be really obstructive and it's just doing my head in. AIBU to want and ask to be kept informed of matters concerning and/or affecting my DD, since I'm the only one with PR for this child? AIBU to expect to be notified, as a matter of common decency, if the contact has been cancelled (where it has been decided some time in advance, obviously I don't mean in an emergency)? I know we only have to travel a few miles, but it's still an inconvenience.
AIBU?
to be really P'd off with contact centre?
eden263 · 26/02/2011 11:19
Thanks. Yes, I'd been thinking about writing for some time but it was awkward to kick up too much of a fuss while I was working there, for obvious reasons, but it's really getting silly now. I'm also a bit worried about doing anything that might go against me, as he's a real attention-seeking liar and manipulator and has always portrayed himself as the victim, and I know at least one staff member there has fallen for it. However, the woman who runs it is 'on my side' in terms of him being full of shit, she could see right through him from the start and takes no crap from him, and she's the one who's been really annoyed with him, but she's also the one being obstructive over the paperwork. I've held fire for so long because I don't want to piss off the only ally I've ever had. 
But I think if I write politely, just explaining it all again, that can't be too bad, can it?
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