To not want to moderate my language in front of these children?

[notanumber]

I am a teacher (Secondary in inner London).

Contrary to popular belief, teachers mostly don't clock off at half past three and are in school for a good while after the pupils have left.

This means that for those teachers who are also parents, they cannot collect their children straight from their school but have to make other arrangements with childminders/after school clubs etc.

However, my teaching colleague has children who attend the nearby primary school and he chooses to have his children (about 7 and 9) walk up to the school we teach in and and hang about in the staffroom until he is ready to go (usually about 90 minutes).

The school is short of space, many people don't have their own classrooms, and in any case classrooms are often used after the end of the offical day for twilight or revision lessons.

Therefore, the staffroom is very very busy in the hour or so after the final bell. Lots of people working (marking or planning), some people doing the networking stuff (talking to HOYs about particular pupils, calling parents, discussing upcoming lessons with their department) and others just relaxing and gossiping.

Basically it is full. Full of teachers who have got to the end of the day and dealing with all the stuff they have to do or just blowing off steam.

Teahing is a stressful job and sometimes shouting, "cunting top set year 11 make me want to kill myself!" is necessary to maintain sanity. This is extreme though, but many people do swear and discuss non-child friendly things fairly routinely.

Ok, after all that, here comes the AIBU!

On occasion, when there has been some colourful language the teacherparent
has been known to admonish with, "Language! Do you mind? There are children in here?"

The thing is, there shouldn't be children in the staffroom IMO. The clue is in the name - it's a staffroom, not a crèche.

It is the one space in the school where you can let you guard down and say what you like. especially if it's "after hours".

AIBU to think that if he doesn't want his children to hear "language" then he should make proper arrangements for them?

[earwicga]

Sorry, I do think you ABU because it is a workplace.

[parakeet]

Irrespective of the language, I think he's being unreasonable in bringing his children into his work environment every day (not just as a one-off in an emergency).

You wouldn't bring them into an office, would you. Complain to the head?

[MrsRhettButler]

his children need to be in the corridoor or another room playing a ds/doing homework/whatever but if they are there then yes you should watch your language
so you are sort of bu but sort of not

[thisisyesterday]

yabu

you don't have to swear. and if children are there it is polite not to

[AgentZigzag]

I'm not a teacher, but I think you're right that if there's a problem it should be the dad who's sorting it.

But until that happens, I think you do have to moderate your behaviour.

It's not a creche, but you are still at work.

If the school doesn't have a problem with it, that's up to them and you have to fit in with what they decide.

[notanumber]

Obviously if there are children in there as a one off everyone would be careful. But this is every day.

[BooyFuckingHoo]

well i am sort of with earwicga, but i know in all jobs I have had, when teh customers are gone and teh doors closed, we loosened up and chilled a bit. there was swearing and nobody minded. it was a release after a shitty day. if things got out of hand the manager would remind us taht we are still at work so while a bit of swearing was alright, we still had to be respectful of each other. so i don't think YABU.

there shouldn't be kiddies there either.

[notanumber]

One of the functions of a staffroom is to let off steam as you clearly can't do this in font of the kids.

I think that sometimes it is totally ok to swear after a hellish double lesson when you've got 100 reports to write and two sets of books to mark.

If you can nver do this (because of presence of children) then I think you'd go a bit mad.

[JoBettany]

The children should not be in a staff room, I agree. However, I wouldn't be swearing in school. So I can't decide if you are BU or not.

[BehindLockNumberNine]

YADNBU.

I work in a Junior School as a TA. I am also a parent, as are most of my fellow TAs.
We are not allowed (and nor are the teachers) to bring our children into the staff room after hours. Mostly because we don't want
them to eat our biscuits-- it is where we let off steam at the end of the day.

My dd attends the school where I work and after school she waits for me outside her classroom (if I am finishing at the same time as she does) or in the front office (if I am finishing 15 minutes later and have not made alternative arrangements for her)

[Nomorerain]

If it's really necessary to swear (I'm sure it isn't) then surely you can do it discreetly to your colleagues without these kids overhearing?

[BringOnTheGoat]

YABU - agree with ear and this

Also, how about a bit of understanding - having DC come laong and waiting must be so much easier. I would want to do that too rather than paying CM or whatever.

[AgentZigzag]

You need to be taking up with the dad and the school if it's every day, rather than just saying 'Fuck it, we've got a right to behave like there aren't any children here'.

There are children there.

I can't believe you'd think that's OK.

It's hardly the childrens fault they're there.

[TheMonster]

YANBU. I am a teacher too and I completely understand where you are coming from.
I haven't been able to ever drop my own child off at school, or pick him up. It comes with the job.
I certainly wouldn't expect other teachers to put up with him being around in the staffroom. Teachers need to let off steam (and often have a good bloody cry!) without worrying about kids watching or hearing.

[BehindLockNumberNine]

DOH, crossing out went a bit wonky.

[notanumber]

But one of the precious things about the staffroom is that you don't have to be discreet, IYSWIM?

It's only these children who shouldn't even be in there who are forcing discretion.

Of course most of us are being discreet, but many many people are pissed off at having to do so.

[earwicga]

I can totally understand the compulsion to do it, but it's not just children who don't want to listen to swearing.

It is odd the children are allowed in the staffroom. Like BehindLock, when I worked in a school my children weren't allowed in staff areas when they were waiting for me if I were late finishing.

[Fontsnob]

He is bu bringing his kids in everyday. Our staff room would make a builder blush at times! Not sure if I'd swear anyway with them in there.

[AgentZigzag]

If there's loads of you, gang up on the dad and beat him to a pulp until he submits

[TheMonster]

Would there not be insurance issues with them being there? I'm thinking of the rules regarding hot drinks and such petty things!

[BooyFuckingHoo]

i think the dad has a responsibility here to accept that there will be swearing and to tell his kids that this is an adult room and they will hear swearing but they aren't to repeat it. i do think that if there are kids there then staff should also try and curb their swearing or do it quietly.

"having DC come laong and waiting must be so much easier. I would want to do that too rather than paying CM or whatever."

er, so would every bloody parent in the world but workplaces are workplaces and not nurseries. i think this dad is taking the piss a bit and should have consideration for his colleagues. their contracts say the kids will be gone at half 3, but he is making it so they are in teh presence of chidlren for anotehr 90 minutes. he is BU in that respect.

[MrsRhettButler]

i have decided that YANBU and he needs to make other arrangements, the children shouldn't be in the staff room at all

[notanumber]

I may have misrepresented. It's not as though everyone is fucking this cunting that all the livelong day.

Many people rarely swear. But in teaching you really really need somewhere to swear if you've been pushed to the edge (a windy Tuesday afternoon in January after the class from hell springs to mind)!

[Needanewname]

Have a chat with the head

[BehindLockNumberNine]

Until I worked in a school I did not realise what hallowed ground the staff room would be.

It is the only place in the school where we can say what we need to say / to vent / to cry without it being overheard by anyone who should not overhear.
Our unspoken rule is 'What happens in the staff room stays in the staff room'. Which is why none of us would ever bring out dc into the staffroom. Which is why parent helpers are not allowed in the staff room.