for being pissed off that school gave ds a recorder with stickers on it?

[deaconblue]

Ds is 4, he has aspergers and is frightened of a range of unusual things. His sticker phobia is the strongest. We've managed to get him to the point where he can tolerate doing sticker books but the thought of stickers being on his clothes or skin is awful to him. He really wanted to learn recorders so today was his first lesson. He was given a recorder covered in stickers and the teacher wanted to put stickers on his fingers (I guess to show him the notes). Needless to say he freaked and left. So one very excited little boy is now a little boy who doesn't want to learn to play recorder anymore.
So am I unreasonable to be pissed off that no-one at school thought to discuss ds and his problems with the recorder teacher?

[MmeLindt]

YANBU
They should have told the teacher that you son has Aspergers.

[MrSpoc]

Not sure what to say here.

I would of thought that it would be difficult for the school to remeber every thing about every child.

It is normal for music lessons for instroments to have stickers on. I still remeber playing keyboard and having stickers for the notes.

Just go into school and explain politly to the music teacher what the situation is and if there is another way to teach him.

[Blondeshavemorefun]

assume school knows of his phobia?

they should have mentioned it to the teacher

maybe you can buy a recoder so he can pratice/have fun with it at home

dc is learning flute, and thats quite soothing

compared to ex dc that tried to learn voilin - awful screeching

[deaconblue]

school are well aware of the phobia as it's very obvious. I had treated him to a recorder to have at home anyway so will send that next week

[Hassled]

Schools do seem to be pretty poor at passing on details of SN to support/peripheral staff - we've had issues with PE teachers being unaware DS2 is Dyspraxic, music teachers being unaware of DS3's verbal Dyspraxia, etc.

It might be worth asking the Head whether there is a procedure in place for this sort of information to be shared. It's certainly worth raising because as your DS moves up the school there will be more peripheral people involved.

[Underachieving]

I can see why you're upset but I think it's a just a mistake rather than an act of school negligence. After all who would think of a sticker phobia and who would think stickers were relevant to recorder lessons? We all make mistakes at work, or forget things, especially things that just don't leap to mind as relevant to the circumstances. It's sad that your son has taken it so badly but in your shoes I'd chalk it up to a very unfortunate error rather than to a negligent school. In life these things will happen, the world is an unforgiving place for a rigid-thinking aspie and he's going to have to learn to conquer it to succeed in life. Take it as an opportunity to teach him how to assertively say "I am affraid of stickers, please ask Miss" because something like this is bound to happen again one day. You can't protect him from all of his fears but you can teach him how to live with them.

[deaconblue]

totally agree, wouldn't dream of looking at it as negligence in any way. It's just so disappointing for him and therefore makes me feel sad. There were only 4 children at the group too so shouldn't have been too difficult to think ahead and plan for ds.

[FreudianSlippery]

Aww poor lad :( I hope he'll carry on with it despite this setback.

YANBU to be disappointed at least, they should know about this really, does DS have a statement?

[cyb]

I feel for your child with his sticker problem

but people are only human, and mistakes do happen. Also, there are soo many clubs happening in a school. I'm sure your teacher will be mortified at her lapse

So, YABU to be pissed off too much

[princessparty]

i'm amazed they supply recorders! My DC have always had to bring their own