To be annoyed at family and now ignoring them?

[SquishyBumsMum]

Eek, first ever post so please be gentle!

My DS is now 5 months old. He sleeps through the night and has done since he was about 12 weeks. People constantly comment on how happy and healthy he seems.
However, I still get nagged and whinged at by my MIL and my parents that he should be in a strict routine, he should be weaning by now, I shouldn't let him sleep for so long at night, he should sleep in our room etc etc.
He's never been in a strict routine, we have a loose time every day for feeds and naps but I can't bring myself to force him to eat/sleep when he obviously doesn't want or need to. And he sleeps in his own room and has done from 4 months because my DPs snoring often disturbed him, but his own room is literally about 3 feet from ours and obviously all doors are left open and we have a monitor.

MIL also tells me I'm not holding him/feeding him/playing with him correctly when she's only even bothered to see him about 4 times since he was born. (She lives 10 minutes away and cancels arrangements to see him at least once a week, no exaggeration, then moans at us that she misses him)

So AIBU to ignore them and just carry on with what I'm doing because he seems happy to me?

Sorry for the long post, I'm a first time mum and I do welcome their advice, I just resent being told everything I'm doing is wrong.

[Coca]

Sounds like you are doing a great job, keep going and ignore them

[LittleMissHissyFit]

Step 1:
It's working for us.

Step 2:
Thanks for your concern.

Step 3:
Repeat from Step 1.

[Pixieonthemoor]

Your baby is happy, you are happy - the rest is all just totally irrelevant. The family needs to back off as you seem to be doing extremely well, esp may I say, for a 1st time mother which can be nerve wracking to say the least. The MIL sounds like a pain - next time she whinges about missing the baby, read back a list to her of the most recent 4/5 times she has backed out of arrangements at the last mo. That should focus the mind somewhat. Or get your dh/dp to have a word. Its pretty appalling that they are telling you that you are doing everything 'wrong'.

[ddubsgirl]

if want you are doing works for you then why change it,if your ds is happy then you must be doing something right!big hugs,your a great mum take no notice xxx

[ChaoticAngelofAnarchy]

YANBU ignore them.

[gordyslovesheep]

I'm a bit confused as to how mil 'keeps' nagging you if she's only seen the baby 4 times in 5 mths?

[WinkyWinkola]

I love LittleMissHissyFit's advice. Spot on.

[SquishyBumsMum]

gordy, she calls me or my DP every day, and half the conversation always consists of "Last time I saw you I noticed..... I just thought you should know that's not a very good way to do it and he won't sleep/feed/develop well because of it" etc etc

LittleMissHissyFit - I may write this on the back of my hand as a future reminder haha.

Thanks for the response guys, helps to know it's not just me being a bitch.

[NinkyNonker]

Of course you'ree not.

[Sarsaparilllla]

You could always go down the route of saying...

'if you saw him more regularly you'd know that we're all doing very well the way we are'

[pjmama]

Just tell them to mind their own business. Repeat as necessary.

[TheSkiingGardener]

She sounds like she wants all the joy and happiness of putting another person down and proving she's the world expert on something, without having to go through the actual experience of what that person is doing.

I agree with *Sarsaparilla (and must find out what that is, keep meaning to) and call her on her lack of direct observation with which to make valid judgements.

Then I'd just go with LittleMissHissyFit while reading a magazine.

You sound like you're doing great so get on and enjoy it.

[PigletJohn]

I wonder if it would be entertaining to say "just a minute... let me get my advice book out... I'll write that down... what was it you said again?"

then you could amuse yourself by getting the book out from time to time to see what a lot of suggestions she has (or hasn't) made.