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AIBU?

To be upset at a friend imitating/making fun of my DD's accent?

59 replies

emy72 · 31/01/2011 11:53

We live "up North" and our children all have a slight regional accent, which I think it's actually quite endearing.

We had friends over to stay who live in the South of England, and when my DD said something, one of them piped up "she has a right northern accent, hasn't she?" in a real mockery tone, imitating the accent in an exaggerated/mickey taking way?

I was really upset and stone silenced her. Am I BU to be hurt at a supposed friend making fun of my DD's accent, especially in front of her?

OP posts:

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GooseyLoosey · 31/01/2011 11:54

Completely inappropriate thing for an adult to do, whether the child was there or not. Your friend is an indition. YANBU.

mutznutz · 31/01/2011 11:57

Yes a bit unreasonable. It wasn't like she was being vicious or nasty was it?

When my friend moved to Norfolk her daughter's accent changed and I found it hilarious when I came to visit...because I wasn't used to it yet.

When she said "Oi loike moy boike" (I like my bike) both me and her mother cracked up laughing.

Life is to short to take ourselves too seriously and you'd be doing your child a great favour if you raised her with the same sort of attitude imo.

Some things are worth getting upset about...this is not one of them.

kreecherlivesupstairs · 31/01/2011 12:00

I think YABU. My DD is hugely sensitive about everything , anything me or DH say to her in jest is taken very seriously and she take umbrage at the drop of a hat.
She is going to have to harden the fuck up, me and her are moving to Warrington soon and she'll stand out like a sore thumb.

emy72 · 31/01/2011 12:02

Err my DD wasn't upset in the least.

It was me who thought it was a bit inappropriate. Especially as her accent is so slight that you have to really go looking for it to notice it.

It's just not something I would do.

OP posts:

LaWeaselMys · 31/01/2011 12:03

I have a a very mixed background. When we went back to home country everyone used to take the piss of the way we talked.

I didn't take it personally. They're trying to be funny.

donnie · 31/01/2011 12:04

you are not being unreasonable in the slightest. Laughing at the way a child speaks is nasty.

kreecherlivesupstairs · 31/01/2011 12:05

OK emy, you need to harden the fuck up.

putthekettleon · 31/01/2011 12:07

Was your daughter bothered? If not I think you're being a little bit unreasonable, by the sounds of it she wasn't doing it in a nasty way, though it was probably a bit insensitive of her.

I'm from 'up north' and my sister has recently moved to Liverpool - her DD has started school and acquired a proper scouse accent, which I couldn't help commenting on last time we saw her even though I do think it's endearing and sweet.

By contrast I'm horrifed that my DD is developing a poncy southern accent - 'mummy where are your glaaaaarrrrsses?'! It goes right through me!

strandedpolarbear · 31/01/2011 12:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OpenAmyrillis · 31/01/2011 12:08

YANBU, I think northern accents are cute!

GooseyLoosey · 31/01/2011 12:11

Whether your dd was upset or not, it is not something an adult does in front of a child.

In addition, there is still an awful lot of prejudice about northern accents and saying that this kind of behaviour is OK just perpetuates it.

I had a northern accent until I went to university and I just could not deal with the comments I got. I have other friends who have been asked if they can moderate their accents.

bubblewrapped · 31/01/2011 12:11

Accents are part of what makes us the individuals that were are. A bit of piss taking about someones accent really isnt something to be offended by though.

My cousins lived were born here, then lived in South Africa for a few years, and moved to Devon after that. They had unusual accents, and never got upset if someone took the mickey out of the way they spoke when they came to visit. They were just as good at doing it back, as we sounded different to them too obviously.

emy72 · 31/01/2011 12:12

I think you are right that it's not the end of the world, so maybe I should forget about it.

I think it was the mickey taking tone in which it was done that annoyed me...but maybe it was meant to be funny and I need a sense of humour transplant!!

OP posts:

taintedpaint · 31/01/2011 12:13

I think YABU, but YWNBU if it was said in front of your DD. I understand why you're upset, but I think you're being oversensitive.

The minute the friend said something in front of your DD, you have every right to be pissed off and say something to her.

emy72 · 31/01/2011 12:15

Yep it was in front of her and she is only 6.

OP posts:

5DollarShake · 31/01/2011 12:19

I think you've got the right attitude, come the end of the thread. :) It's really not worth getting bothered about, and I'm sure really wasn't meant maliciously.

And I'd agree with the poster who said that just because it sounds like a mild accent to your ears, doesn't mean it actually is. I'm a Kiwi (and have had the piss ripped out of me in my time here! ) and ALL accents here sound strong to me!! She wouldn't have commented on it if it was noticeable, but that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with her accent!

We all have them - just be proud of it. :)

mutznutz · 31/01/2011 12:20

Do you know what? Serious, stoney face adults who take every little poke of fun to heart and become offended by the silliest of things...can and often do produce children with a major sense of humour failure.

I don't mean you btw OP...I mean in general.

I think bit by bit, the world is losing its ability to laugh at themselves and each other...and I personally find it very sad.

No wonder some children get so 'traumatised' by a bit of playground banter if they've not been taught to laugh at themselves a bit...they often grow up to have problems in the workplace and again when they have thier own children.

MrsDeidreIppy · 31/01/2011 12:22

It seems that it was meant as a joke and should have been taken as such. Its likely that as a friend she sees your daughter's accent as endearing but also a bit funny.

Sarsaparilllla · 31/01/2011 12:23

My friend was laughing at her own 2 year old son's broad Wigan accent the other day (she's Scottish), I think you're being oversensitive.

Peachy · 31/01/2011 12:24

It depends entirely on how it is meant, in this case it woudln;t bother me tbh

I did get a bit at someone recently who kept making snides about me being posh becuase I have moved away and (sadly) lost my Somerset accent but that's becuase it as meant in a nasty way (and LMAO that I am posh)

Looking at the spirit a comment is amde in counts for a lot

5DollarShake · 31/01/2011 12:24

Accent on young children are particularly amusing - not in a bad way at all, but they just are, in a way that they're not with adults. Especially when it's not an accent you're used to hearing.

I honestly don't think she meant it maliciously - she was just amused and reacted before thinking.

GandalfyCarawak · 31/01/2011 12:25

YABU. She just pointed it out and imitated her? What's the big deal? My mates do it with my heavily accented kids all the time, we all have a laugh about it!

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TheSmallPrint · 31/01/2011 12:28

As a southerner married to a northerner and with two very close northern friends we take the piss out of each others accent all the time and noone gets offended.

I went to university in Birmingham and when I came home everyone would laugh at the fact I sounded brummie and when I went back to Brum they would laugh at my London accent. Its what people DO, there is no harm in it.

MadamDeathstare · 31/01/2011 12:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PaisleyLeaf · 31/01/2011 12:29

It sounds like she just couldn't hide her surprise.
Children pick up accents so quickly. My little niece now lives in the states and I'm always surprised when we speak on the phone and she sounds American. "my mom took me to the mall and I got some sneakers"
It's rude to take the mickey, but I can understand just blurting something out in surprise. (Not mimicking though).

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