to think that when my partner, who has managed 4 "write off" crashes in two years, comes home and says "Dear God - I almost killed myself on the way home!"

[Catnao]

...it's not unreasonable that I am nervy when getting in the car with him, and don't allow him to take our son out with him by himself? (I can't drive, by the way).

[bubblewrapped]

I dont blame you. I wouldnt get in a car with him either.

Should he even be allowed on the roads????

[HecateQueenOfWitches]

What's wrong with him? Speeding? not attentive?

Perhaps one of those advanced driving courses would be useful to him?

And no, if he is a very poor driver who doesn't learn from his mistakes then I don't think I'd be risking my child either.

Although does it make a difference whether you are in the car or not? Does he drive better with you there?

[warthog]

the sad thing is he could have killed someone else.

remind him of that - it's not just him that can get hurt.

[Northernlurker]

Oh good grief! YANBU - tell him he must egt some advanced lessons. Apart from anthing else 4 write offs must be a strain on your budget.

[fedupofnamechanging]

If he's that dangerous, he shouldn't be driving. He could kill someone else.

Suggest you learn to drive asap. Tbh, not everyone is cut out to drive - I'm not, I don't think. He shouldn't be treating his 'near misses' lightly though, as he's been lucky so far, but might not be next time

[manicbmc]

Omg what must his insurance premiums be like?!

Advanced lessons sounds like a good idea.

[SecretNutellaFix]

I think at this point, you ban him from getting another car.

He uses public transport and he has to take his test again.

I hate people who have no thought for other road users and pedestrians.

No, yamdnbu.

[AmberEyes]

I would be nervous driving knowing he is on the roads.

[ivykaty44]

learn to drive, firstly as this means you will then be able to drive instead of your dp. Secondly if your dp continues to drive in this manner he may lose his licence and then at least you will be able to drive. Thirdly you would be cheaper to insure than your dp as he is a liability. forthly don't think due to you being int he car is going to help your ds.
Fithly send your dp on a driving awarenss course for the sakes of everyone....please

[Catnao]

It does make a difference when I am in the car with him, as I am "annoying, critical, and "make him nervous". But I insist on slowish speed and make him pay attention by being all the above personality traits.

I think he should go on an advanced skills course - and although he has not crashed for about 18 mths (!! like that's good!!) , and thankfully none of the crashes have been serious, except in terms of our car - they COULD be, and I wish he would be so much more careful.
Changing the CD whilst driving my particular bugbear...

[belgo]

For the sake of all of our safety, you have to stop him driving.

[Fimbo]

I don't think he should be driving. Or he should at least take a refresher course.

I don't drive, I have taken lessons and really really hate it. I am nervy and jumpy and would freak if something went wrong. Therefore I have decided that I would be the wrong type of person to drive and I am not persuing it any further.

[Georgimama]

Does he think this is funny?!

Were all those accidents his fault? If so, he needs to seriously rethink his driving - is he too fast, too inattentive, too drunk? Why is he having all these accidents?

Why can't you drive by the way?

[clevercloggs]

blimey his insurance must be sky high!

[imustbemadasaboxoffrogs]

Many many years ago our insurance was £2500 Third party fire and theft.

XH had 14 accidents in 9 years.

And I was UR for not letting him drive me anywhere.

[SecretNutellaFix]

ivy- I think losing his license should be least of his worries. Losing his life should be at the foremost in his mind!

[AmberEyes]

Or causing the death or serious injury of others.

[create]

4 right offs in 2 years? How does he still have a driving license? Surely he can't have been at fault for all of them?

[HowAnnoying]

Well sounds like you both need to learn to drive.

And take all the cds out of the car.

[QueenofAllWildThings]

That would scare me. I don't drive either , partly because I can't afford lessons at th moment, and partly because I am scared that I would be like your DP! If I were you I would learn to drive AND make him have some refresher lessons.

[ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo]

i wouldn't be anywhere near the car or teh road when he was driving. nor would my child.

[LadyBiscuit]

He sounds like a child :(

[AnyFucker]

he sounds like a fucking arsehole

is he so arrogant and twattish in other areas of his life ?

[Sufi]

My DH has had zero crashes in 10 years. Tbh, I wouldn't put my child in the car if my DH had such a poor driving record - YANBU.

My dad is s driving instructor, specialises in re-tests, people made to have lessons by their insurance company etc. He is always surprised by the people who think they are good drivers but in fact are incredibly dangerous - though when he points it out (as opposed to you!), they do at least listen to him.

Advanced driving lessons a must. Maybe see if your insurance company would lower your premiums if he successfully completed such a course - might give him a £ incentive for doing it.

[thisisyesterday]

if he was at fault for all of those crashes then how is he still allowed to drive?

I must admit that I would be on the phone to the DVLA I think.