Rivens Plight

[skatingmum]

I do not mean to sound unreasonable, and whilst I wish Riven all the best and hope she gets all the help she needs, I think the media are getting carried away and the obtrusive way in which they operate won't be helpfull at all.

Anyway I care for DH (war veteran) and 2 DD's who both have emotional and behavoural problems the youngest of which was diagnosed with epilepsy this week. I was offered 1 or 2 hours respite a week for someone to take DH out whilst DD's were at school. I have had 6 years of SW telling me how to look after my children because of CP, based on what my ex-husband told SS 15 years ago. It took a pyscologist's report to prove what I had been saying was the truth and not just making it up. Having asked for help from Mr Cameron, Brown and several members of the cabinet, both present and last government, all I received was a standard reply saying they are sorry to hear about my problems but they couldnt get involved in individual cases. This must mean they can't get involved unless it lets them look good in the media.

I am not looking for media attention just the help I need to look after my family

[iamarecluse]

Good luck skatingmum and I hope you get the sme level of support as Riven without the media and mnet stepping out of line...

[GypsyMoth]

Don't you get support from British legion/ssafa etc skatingmum?

[RunawayFishWife]

I hope you get the help you need without becoming a bandwagon of press and TV.

[rolandweary]

this is shit

if the thread is about you, not Riven, then your thread title is a nonsense

if your intention was to draw attention to your problems by using Riven's name, then it's a cheap, sordid thing to do and detracts from any cause you may otherwise have had

if you want to discuss your difficulties, start a thread with an honest title

if you just want to whinge that it's not fair because Riven is getting more attention than you.... then jog on

[SeaShellsDreamingOfSummer]

I hope you get the help you need :)

Riven unfortunately has been dragged into a media circus she didn't court, but hopefully the high profile of her case will help the multitude of others including yourselves.

[2shoes]

sorry I don't understand your post,
what has this got to do with Rive and what do you mean by CP, do they have CP?

[ApocalypseCheeseToastie]

It's sad that anybody has to jump on the media bandwagon to get support and lets face it, it's brought the issue into the spotlight which because of it's lack of cool factor hasn't really happened before, you never know, I might even get a full nights sleep out of it

OP, I second contacting British Legion, they should have something for you

[GypsyMoth]

Op don't be scared off, just ask for title to be changed.

[DuelingFanjo]

I thinkk she means child protection?

[nickelbabysnatcher]

you're right, of course - it shouldn't take media interfering for a family to get help.

but that does seem like the only way to bring it out into the open.

A lot of people don't know or realise how little help people with extra needs get - and how much they have to rely on it.

I hope that the stories being hounded on by the media help your case, and everyone else that needs extra help that they're not getting.

(and please ask for your thread title to be changed)

[ApocalypseCheeseToastie]

And rolandweary, that was completely uncalled for....

[rolandweary]

sorry

but if I was in Riven's shoes - exhausted, devastated, an being barraged with unwanted media attention - I would be fucking upset to see a thread in Active convos entitled "Riven's Plight", which in fact consisted of a complaint that somebody else's entirely unrelated situation wasn't getting the same attention

seems in very poor taste to me

but I did poste in haste, so sorry for the unnecessarily forceful tone.

[ThisIsANiceCage]

skatingmum don't have much practical help, unfortunately. If you're willing to give up some privacy, the BBC are now asking for more people's stories here.

It's the usual horrid dichotomy, tho. Nothing gets changed unless people stand up and use themselves as examples. There's a huge cost to doing that, which Riven is now paying (and may continue to pay), but if no one does it there's another sort of cost, as the situation continues.

Don't have easy answers for this, I'm afraid. And none directly for your situation. Just didn't want your thread to be neglected.

[Chatelaine]

"Riven's Plight" is that she is torn apart, as her nickname suggests. Wishing a good outcome for her family and those in similar circumstances.

[emmanana]

I agree with some of rolandweary's points. Please, OP get the thread title changed. Naming Riven in your thread title will just attract inflammatory comments, then others will ask you to stop in Rivens name, then MNHQ may pull the thread and all this will detract from the points you wish to raise and discuss.

[ApocalypseCheeseToastie]

rolandweary, sadly riven is one of thousands up and down the country in similar and believe it or not worse situations....

Sadly these people get desperate sometimes, even more so when they see a light at the end of the tunnel.

[ApocalypseCheeseToastie]

But yes I agree, change the thread title, if I was riven i'd be fed up of seeing my name plastered everywhere by now

[rolandweary]

I know that Apocalypse, I don't live under a toadstool

but don't think this is a very constructive way of raising the wider issues.

[emmyloulou]

TBH, the whole bandwagon got carried away, I do feel for Riven I really do, but this is the power of the net, the risks of posting in such a public pro active forum.

The thread which in question which was bringing people to MN to discuss their issues to and support, was shut down for Riven's sake.

Fine, but as predicted, most of MN have miseed the point. They have jumped on the Riven bandwagon and are now starting a campaing for DLA, the thread is moving at a snails pace as of course it does not have all the press and shleeeeeeeeeb attention.

Dla is not the only issue affecting people, which non sn parents don't seem to understand. The people who are coming here to say so and look for support are being told to keep a lid on it, not helpful.

What you have all had your 5 minutes of fame, so fuck everyone else is that it?

Anyhing without the media buzzwords of the moment or posted by a "popular" poster does not even get a look in, won't be long until we are back to the disability bashing threads.

[skatingmum]

I have reposted the trouble I am suffering in a different post without using Rivens name, the point I was trying to make was the likes of the meia and mp's only seem to want to get involved in peoples problems if it makes them look good, or gets more sales of newspapers etc, not that thousands of other people up and down the country are also suffering but their stories won't sell as many papers etc.

Like I said I am not after the media attention just that Riven isn't the only person who is suffering, and whilst I do feel sorry for her she shouldn't of been put into this situation in the first place and should of been offered the care she needed for looking after a disabled child. But SS seem to be more interested in taking the easy way out and leave people to fend for themselves.

I am sorry if the title of the post upset people and will try to change it

[Guacamole]

I think Mumsnet has gone nuts... On one thread people are saying people shouldn't rely on charities and on this thread the OP is being told to speak to SSAFA or the British Legion. I think it might be wise for Mumsnet to just go offline for a while until this has all blown over.
With regard to all of this, I think I for one have realised something needs to be done on a state and charitable level to protect the vulnerable. I have learned a lot, I currently do not fall under this category (I may do one day, who knows?), but I have learned to think outside my own little bubble and realise that there are people our there suffering. I'm going to think long and hard about volunteering in some way to help. I'm going to get blasted but, I believe none of this is David Cameron's fault... There is no bottomless money pit to solve everyone's problems. I think we all need to look at ourselves, what can we do to help, within our own families and communities!

[DooinMeCleanin]

Why should MN go offline? Is this not what we wanted? More people coming forward and making it clear that the help they are getting is not adequate and more needs to be done to help?

The more people who speak out, the more likely things will change overall and not just for Riven.

I'm sorry about your dd's epilepsy dx op. If you feel more shoudl be done for you have you thought about contacting your MP to highlight your case to him?

[2shoes]

2shoes Thu 20-Jan-11 15:32:23
sorry I don't understand your post,
what has this got to do with Rive and what do you mean by CP, do they have CP?

[fartmeistergeneral]

Child protection

[GypsyMoth]

Guacomole........ What on earth is wring with advising op to go to British legion/ssafa??????

I couldn't care less about what's on other threads, I was advising op whose dh needs help!! Christ!

What's nuts about it?? Seriously. It's his right to have assistance and also his wifes right.