to LOVE Jeremy Kyle

(64 Posts)
bupcakesandcunting Thu 13-Jan-11 10:11:06

Not the man himself, he is a mouthbreather. But the show is HILARIOUS! I'm supposed to be doing housework but I've sat drinking tea and roaring with laughter at Jezza since I dropped DS off a pre-school blush

It's ace though, isn't it?

ShirleyKnot Thu 13-Jan-11 10:12:12

He. Is. The. Devil.

You are going to get your arse kicked from here to breakfast time.

<settles down to watch, a bit like JK show>

charliesmommy Thu 13-Jan-11 10:13:50

was the chinese man the babys dad? I have had the remote wrestled off me and some bloody home buying programme put on...

bupcakesandcunting Thu 13-Jan-11 10:13:55

I'm sure I saw you on there the other week, Shirl.

bupcakesandcunting Thu 13-Jan-11 10:14:27

The result isn't in yet charliesmommy. Will keep you posted. I think not though, that kid doesn't look mixed race.

deemented Thu 13-Jan-11 10:15:49

It's car crash TV at it's best.

YABU though.

charliesmommy Thu 13-Jan-11 10:16:05

Thanks bupcakes grin

ShirleyKnot Thu 13-Jan-11 10:17:33

I am Graham, and so is my wife.

GlynistheMenace Thu 13-Jan-11 10:20:27

I love watching JK

Gives me a warm smug glow, safe in the knowledge that I would never lower myself to go on there, even though i think it would be a 'good one' grin

bupcakesandcunting Thu 13-Jan-11 10:21:16

Ah Graham Stanier aka "The Genius".

Genius my fucking cheeks. Any old goat can come on going "yer miserable cos yer drink and yer drink cos yer miserable" that's all he does.

xstitch Thu 13-Jan-11 10:22:30

It makes me feel for a short time that I may actually be a decent human being.

superv1xen Thu 13-Jan-11 10:22:43

i LOVE jezza k

blush

Is NOT the childs biological father!!!!!

GlynistheMenace Thu 13-Jan-11 10:24:09

He ISN'T the child's father grin

who'dathunkit eh?

bupcakesandcunting Thu 13-Jan-11 10:24:18

I live in the Black Country blush and often the contestants are from round here, showing themselves up. Dirty proles.

Gareth the chinese man is NOT the father, charliesmommy. Chav babymama has gone off crying. Jezza consoling Gareth.

irishqueen Thu 13-Jan-11 10:24:52

YANBU! Jezza rocks. My local poundland has an access all areas jeremey kyle dvd with unseen footage for yes 1 uk pound but I am too ashamed to purchase.

irishqueen Thu 13-Jan-11 10:24:53

YANBU! Jezza rocks. My local poundland has an access all areas jeremey kyle dvd with unseen footage for yes 1 uk pound but I am too ashamed to purchase.

charliesmommy Thu 13-Jan-11 10:29:04

Well who would have guessed he wasnt the dad.. lol. Didnt really need the DNA for that one..

bupcakesandcunting Thu 13-Jan-11 10:29:16

What?! We don't have any Jezza DVDs in our Poundland. FGS, part-timers. That would make an excellent and thoughtful present for birthday OR christmas.

I have a little bit of a crush on JK. I'd like him to throw me down on the bed and shout 'MADAM, YOU'RE A DISGRACE!' blush wink

bupcakesandcunting Thu 13-Jan-11 10:32:58

Oh no, I have some shameful crushes )Mandelson, David Jason, Michael palin) but would not touch Jezzer with a 60ft bargepole. I bet he cries and rocks back and forth after sex.

GandalfyCarawak Thu 13-Jan-11 10:33:25

YABU YABU YABU YABU YABU YABU YABU.

He is a pompous arsehole. It is said that the show's aftercare that he goes on about so much is utter shite.
Also, I get really pissed off with the whole "why don't you get off your backside and get a job?" thing gets on my tits.
Firstly because, oh, a job like you have, Jezzer? Bear-baiting? Starting fights? Being smug and arrogant? Secondly, there is currently a huge problem with unemployment in this country with people really wanting to work and being unable to get a job- I don't think they need a clueless orange wanker telling them what a drain they are on society.

<<breathe, Gandalfy, breathe...>> wink

lexxity Thu 13-Jan-11 10:33:53

YANBU, I bloody love JK. It's my guilty pleasure. Like my friend says "remember, that those people are wearing their best clothes" and "however bad it gets you could be on JK." grin

ShowOfHands Thu 13-Jan-11 10:33:54

I can see why you'd watch it. The world's a difficult place, you have a lot on. JK is like free anaesthetic, numbs the senses and the intellect to the point where you no longer care.

bupcakesandcunting Thu 13-Jan-11 10:34:42

As disclaimed in my OP, I don't like Jezza. I just like watching the fighting leggings wearers <shrugs> It's fun, innit?

GlynistheMenace Thu 13-Jan-11 10:38:38

grin muchly at the 'best clothes' comment grin

browniebear Thu 13-Jan-11 10:39:53

YANBU I love it too. Me and a few mates once went and sat in the audience on a show about porn stars. Well funny.

There were DNA test results too and the baby wasn't his even though everyone was rooting for it to be.

HelenLG Thu 13-Jan-11 10:43:42

It's not as good as Jerry Springer...I've never seen anyone get punched on Jeremy Kyle...

bupcakesandcunting Thu 13-Jan-11 10:45:40

On Jerry Springer, WTF happens when people in the audience get up and strip and dance round the pole on the stage? WTF is that about?

ShirleyKnot Thu 13-Jan-11 10:46:44

Hahaha and <utter disgust> at wanting to have the sex with JK.

He would totally shout out "mummy" at the point of orgasm.

GlynistheMenace Thu 13-Jan-11 10:48:49

*whispers...I have been in the audience for a 'Vanessa' show...years ago.

It was a bit too serious way back then, I left feeling a little bit 'dirty' like a peeping tom sad

mozette Thu 13-Jan-11 10:52:07

I love Jezza. Don't see it too often but it is car crash tv. Always get a bit embarrassed when its some skanky Scot who gets all het up and then only a small percentage of people watching can actually understand what they are saying.

Fucking hell, Shirley, you've made me feel a bit sick... It's not really that I want to have sex with him, even. I'd sort of fuck him out of spite grin

bupcakes I agree about the Jerry Springer thing. They all get their tits out for the audience and I have NO IDEA why....

bupcakesandcunting Thu 13-Jan-11 10:53:13

My best mate got tickets for the Jezza show and she invited me to go with her (her DH is a drugs worker and he helped a kid that got sent to him by Graham the fecking Genius, that's why she got them) Couldn't get a babysitter for DS. Was fuming <angry>

The reason jezza is so aggressive on stage is because he is impotent. I reckon.

Plus, I watch it to make myself feel superior. Am on half a days leave today and have made a mental note to watch the double repeats this avo grin

HelenLG Thu 13-Jan-11 10:53:49

Clearly Jerry Springer has moved on since the last time I saw it, whose getting there tits out?

Every time I've caught Jerry Springer in the last couple of years, some slaggy old yokel upstanding member of the community has got her tits out for the lads.

bupcakesandcunting Thu 13-Jan-11 10:55:14

TBH Trisha has been a bit of a revelation. The guests on Trisha make the JK guests look like members of the Bloomsbury Group sitting down for high tea at The Grosvenor.

On Trisha, they keep the guests being spoken about by another guest on stage in this holding pen. They get so worked up that they start kicking and banging on the doors to get out, going wild like animals.

bupcakesandcunting Thu 13-Jan-11 10:56:58

HelenLG you must watch Jerry Springer. It's not even attempting to come over as realistic anymore. Audience members get up and strip and pole dance, contestants get their flanges out. It's a circus.

ShirleyKnot Thu 13-Jan-11 11:00:49

He is the actual epitomy of a bully. He's all shouty aggressive "my name on the wall shut up you put something on the end of it I'm a tax payer" until someone actually stands up to him and says "Who the fuck do you think you are?" and then he's all "I know it's hard but I've got to tell the truth sweets and its hard but this is my job PLEASE DON'T HIT ME"

StickyProblem Thu 13-Jan-11 11:02:59

You can watch it on itv.com. They have weeks worth of them on there. Handy to know should the long lonely hours between 10:30am on ITV and 1:30pm on ITV2 drag too much wink

Cleofartra Thu 13-Jan-11 11:07:48

JKS should be sponsored by Special Brew, because 9 out of 10 guests on the programme have been more or less washed on stage by a tidal wave of the stuff.

JK must wake up every day and say 'thank god for alcoholism' because without it he wouldn't have much of a show.

lurkeyishere Thu 13-Jan-11 11:08:16

Why eople would want to ait their dirty laundry on TV is Beyond me but it does make for great TVgrin its even better if the people live by you and you know them

bupcakesandcunting Thu 13-Jan-11 11:08:41

Did anyone see it when that scrawny ratboy chucked the envelope at JK's bonce? He SHAT himself and his hair looked daft.

ShirleyKnot Thu 13-Jan-11 11:09:04

I think JK wakes up every day and thinks "time to put on my human mask again...bwahahahahaha!" while eating a baby for breakfast and poking sinners up the arse with a trident.

ShirleyKnot Thu 13-Jan-11 11:10:03
StickyProblem Thu 13-Jan-11 11:12:44

Thing is, JK is tiny. If you ever see him standing next to a human, he's miniscule. I can understand why it scares him if he gets aggression back from his, er, "guests".

ILovedYou Thu 13-Jan-11 11:14:07

I have always fancied Jezza although i hardly watch the show as i cannot stand the 'contestants'biscuit!and the same topics. DNA, has he/she cheated, drug/alcohol addiction.

Goofy Trisha ia a bit better. Is that still on?

I am sure Jezza, was a radio DJ here, in the West Midlands, presenting a 'relationship problem' genre of a show!

He was great whenever i tuned in, albeit very rarely.

thebountymuncher Thu 13-Jan-11 11:14:24

Ooh I watched Jerry Springer for the first time in years today.

A mum was sleeping with her DDs 19 yr old boyfriend- she gave him the midnight special apparantly, which involved removing her false teeth (which she demonstrated) for BJ purposes. Barf. She offerd JS one, but he didn't seem to keen. Steve offered to hold her teeth too.

Hate JK though- wish his dad had "put something on the end of it!"

bupcakesandcunting Thu 13-Jan-11 11:14:37

LOL He got "your mummed" Ha ha ha ha ha ha for shame!

Then he tries to brush his hair down whilst looking nonchalant/not afraid.

thebountymuncher Thu 13-Jan-11 11:16:20

too keen even.

KirstyAllsoap Thu 13-Jan-11 11:19:15

YABU

It is modern day bear baiting. Watching the vile lifes of the lazy and stupid.

KirstyAllsoap Thu 13-Jan-11 11:22:20

sorry, lives, how lazy and stupid of me

ShirleyKnot Thu 13-Jan-11 11:24:17

Did you just LOL bupcakes?

Did you?

ILovedYou Thu 13-Jan-11 12:37:20

Bup - what is wrong with leggings?

Honeybee79 Thu 13-Jan-11 12:48:42

I love JK. blush

I am totally ashamed of myself for watching it. I know he's basically a modern day bear-baiter and a sanctimonious shit. It's like some horrible form of communal humiliation but I just can't help watching it if it's on. And being fascinated by the state of people's teeth, even the really young guests.

KERALA1 Thu 13-Jan-11 12:56:07

It brings back bad memories of my old next door neighbours - definite candidates for that programme. Actually whenever I do watch it I end up feeling sorry for the poor souls who have to live near some of the guests. Drunken familial fights in street involving all generations until the police are called...lovely. Thank god we moved grin

ILovedYou Thu 13-Jan-11 13:05:54

My neighbours had a fight in thwe street 2 nights ago again, this time at 1.00am. Both teachers...

TheRunawayWife Thu 13-Jan-11 13:09:27

My mum loves watching this show, I just do not know where they find these people, and more to the point why they let them loose on the public again after the show grin.

Do some people have no shame as well as no morals?
And why oh why is everyone so "dentally challenged", badly dressed, and looks like they have never seen soap

KERALA1 Thu 13-Jan-11 13:10:05

Teachers! Am shock. Ours were drug dealers but lived on benefits so lots of time to sleep during the day to have enough energy for night time scraps. Im surprised teachers arent too knackered in the evenings for a good fight.

SnowieBear Thu 13-Jan-11 13:31:07

It's strangely compelling, like reading the "Dear Deidre" column in "The Sun" - peps you up by making it quite explicit that no matter how bad you feel about your problems, you life if not a mess like that.

ILovedYou Thu 13-Jan-11 13:40:14

Snowie - it doesn't pepe me up! I think to myself - i might actually share the same country and heritage as these scumbags? Makes me want to cry for the UK and it's ever decresing morals. Or ami being over dramatic? (hopes someone tells me YES) sad

iLikeDots Thu 13-Jan-11 13:42:39

I cant stand Jeremy Kyle , the man's nothing but a a sanctimonious , self-righteous so-and-so and the Daily Mail personified IMHO. Saying that I can see why people watch him as its car crash tv.
This little clip is the best thing to ever happen to The Odious Jeremy Kyle in his TV career if Im honest....Give that guest a medal , I would gladly pay good money to of seen this epic television moment in Kyle's ITV broadcast life

www.youtube.com/watch?v=f3QaqZFiVS8 grin wink

bupcakesandcunting Thu 13-Jan-11 16:39:48

"Did you just LOL bupcakes?

Did you?"

Yeah and what of it?

"Bup - what is wrong with leggings?"

Nowt. I'm sporting a pair myself right now. They shouldn't be worn as TROUSERS though. They are strictly for wearing under dresses/tunic/smock tops NOT for wearing with a top that ends north of your tuppence. Why? BECAUSE EVERYONE CAN SEE YOUR FANNY LIPS.

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