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AIBU?

Photo Christmas cards should just be for children?

16 replies

A1980 · 18/12/2010 22:04

I know someone who I used to live on the same street as when I still lived with my mother. She had three children who were lovely and I saw all of them growing up from when I was only a child myself. I was about 8 years old when the first was born.

I don't really see her now but she sends a Christmas card every year. She would usually have a photgraph of the children made into the card which was lovely as I could see them changing every year.

Now they're all grown up, they are aged 22, 20 and 18. But... their mum still sends out these photo christmas cards of them. She always chooses a beach holiday photo and they are half naked in the photos. The boy wearing a tiny pair of hot pant type trunks and the girls teeny tiny string bikinis. I honestly feel ashamed to say it but I now put the cards away and never display them.

Please tell me, if I'm unduly harsh but I just take the view that they're far too old for that. Even then it should be something more appropraite than adults in bikinis / trunks on a card. At least have some clothes on in the photo. What does a beach holiday photo taken in the summer have to do with christmas?

I might be being harsh as christmas is hard when your TTC with PCOS and you're acutely aware you have no kiddies to spend it with

What do you think?

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TattyDevine · 18/12/2010 22:12

YABU

How wonderful to see them growing up and still be in the loop and important enough in their lives now they are grown up to still be updated.

Bah humbug to you!

Hope things change for you and that 2011 is your year!

A1980 · 18/12/2010 22:20

Fair enough! But if my mother sent out photos of me in a bikini to everyone we knew at chirstmas I'd kill her. Perhaps that's why I find it a bit weird.

I'd at least want to wear clothes in the photo. I dont think full pictures of your adult children, one of whom has left home in his trunks is quite appropraite. I'd like it much better if they were dressed. It's just a weird looking card this year. Snowflakes on the border but boiling hot sun and bikini / trunk clad adults in the picture LOL!

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TattyDevine · 19/12/2010 10:34

Haha that reads as if he's gone out wearing only his trunks "left home in his trunks"

Loving that idea, particularly in this weather!

diddl · 19/12/2010 12:16

I think that these sort of cards are like marmite tbh.

I hate them.

Even with young children-would rather have a traditional card & pic enclosed.

chitchatinsantasear · 19/12/2010 12:20

I was all set to say YABU from your title, but I have to say YANBU given the style of photo! I mean, swimsuits?? Really???? WTF????!!!!

Jaybird37 · 19/12/2010 12:36

Sorry to hear about the PCOS - have same problem and it is miserable.

As far as the photo cards go, the first Christmas after my twins were born I sent out a Christmas card with a picture of the two of them, naked on the sofa, looking suitably angelic with gold wings drawn on them. An old school friend called me up after she received it to say it was very sweet and ask if I would be doing this every year. Maybe, probably, I said. she then told me that she could not wait until they were 17 and naked on the sofa because she would be just about old enough to appreciate them then.

This year the boys turned 17, so I asked them if they were game for something tasteful, along these lines, just to make this one friend laugh (clearly this is not a card you send out to everyone on your list). I was told that the this was SO wrong on So many levels, both the idea of one of their mum's mates having either a leer or a giggle, and the idea that I wanted to take the shot...

A1980 · 19/12/2010 21:28

Tattydevine it does read that way LOL! he left home in his trunks and that's all he needed.

I was wondering if it was just me but when I was aged 18-22 I would be mortified if my mtoher made photo christmas cards of me wearing a bikini and sent them to everyone we know. It just doesn't seem right. They're too old.

Don't get me wrong, I like to be sent photos of them and to hear about how they are. It's nice as I've known them since I was a child. But I think a photo of them (fully clothed lol!) enclosed in a christmas card is more appropriate.

It was fine when they children, it was just children sitting together on the beach and it was cute. But I still didn't get a summer holiday snap for christmas cards. The older they got I wondered when she was going to stop it. This year when I opened the card I actually thought, fucking hell. They have next to nothing on . Not something I'll be displaying on my window ledge!

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ShanahansRevenge · 19/12/2010 21:35

YANBU! It's like she's gone from saying "Look how cute my kids are!" to "Look how hot my kids are"

A1980 · 19/12/2010 21:37

She has indeed!

I don't think she's acknowledged that they're adults yet either.

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aurynne · 20/12/2010 02:42

"What does a beach holiday photo taken in the summer have to do with christmas?"

It has lots to do when you live in the Southern Hemisphere... We are 29C here in New Zealand today, and I would be at the beach if it wasn't a working day ;)

2rebecca · 20/12/2010 08:24

It sounds as though she's one of these "my children are my life" women who can't adjust to having adult children and the fact that she needs to move on. Agree I wouldn't want my mum sending photos of me scantily clad once over 7 or so but that's for her kids to bring up with her. I'd also be suggesting to my mum she focuses on her self and dad more in cards now we've left home if I felt she was trying to keep the mother hen image going beyond it's sell by date.
None of these are really your problem. It sounds as though you've grown apart and maybe time to stop sending her cards though.

aurynne · 20/12/2010 08:31

I send photos of my dog

TheUnmentioned · 20/12/2010 08:35

yanbu.

we have someone who sends us a card 'from mary, jim, louise and tom'. louise and tom are 30+, married and left home a long time ago. that is also odd.

2rebecca · 20/12/2010 08:44

Agree, it wasn't until we were in our 30s that my mum stopped putting us on cards when my sister pointed out we could send our own cards to people if we wanted to. My mum couldn't let it drop though and insisted on putting them from her, dad "and family".
Now she's dead my dad just signs them with his name.
It's all part of the not wanting to relinquish the mother hen role. My mum worked full time as well, and earned more than my dad so not as though she had nothing else in her life.
I find it odd getting cards from colleagues where they add a load of family members I've never met. Why are some women so reluctant to send some cards from just themselves if this is a personal friend not a family friend?

TrillianAstra · 20/12/2010 08:46

I wish I were in New Zealand and it were 29C outside.

Photo Christmas cards are a bit twee in the first place unless they are pictures of childlren for grandparents or aunts/uncles (peope who might actually want a picture of the child), not for just your friends.

Do the teenage/adult children actually know that their mum is sneding out these pictures of them?

A1980 · 20/12/2010 17:17

They must know she does it. 2 of them are still at home. The mum orders about 200 of them and they to everyone.

It's a little weird. I bet she is still doing it when they are 30+

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