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AIBU?

to lose contact with my half-sister?

5 replies

parakeet · 12/12/2010 19:36

We have very little in common. I find her ignorant and prejudiced, and I can't really forgive her for failing to visit my mum when she was dying in hospital (my mum was her step-mum and brought her up for about 10 years). She lives about 200 miles away. Now both my parents have died I find myself thinking "Shall I just stop bothering?"

My other sister (let's call her Anne), who I love dearly, keeps inviting her down to stay with her. Anne wants to maintain their relationship for reasons I really can't fathom, but seem to be sentimental more than anything.

Will I lose something if I cut her out of my life?

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IAmReallyFabNow · 12/12/2010 19:40

Only you can answer that.

I clicked on this and wondered if you were my half sister.

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tribpot · 12/12/2010 19:47

I think largely most relationships are maintained for sentimental reasons, if you see what I mean. Or at least should be - doing it for practical reasons suggests you are doing because you get something from it, like babysitting, or car sharing or whatever.

I have a complicated blended family and my half-sister doesn't. She almost certainly doesn't post on MN. We have very little in common but I wouldn't want to lose touch with her, even though it would really make no difference to me if we did, I want her to have a sense of family and siblings and I'm (as well as my brother) her only route to that.

But I would have little time for someone who didn't visit your poor mum when it mattered the most - perhaps she was afraid? People understandably hate hospitals. Anne will make her own choices, only you can make yours.

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sarah293 · 12/12/2010 19:49

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samay · 12/12/2010 19:56

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parakeet · 12/12/2010 20:01

Tribpot, she probably was afraid. But I still think it was pathetic.

The thing that's making me pause is I have two children and I'd effectively be removing an aunty from their lives. Not that she has shown a huge amount of interest in them, but when she's around them she is nice enough, makes a fuss of them, etc.

I am going to visit her this Christmas because I'll be in the area to visit other relatives. I'll take my children. I guess I'll think about it.