To remove my sons advent calendar over night so he wakes up without a calendar?

[QuintessentialShadows]

My son is upset about his choice of Advent Calendar....
And I am miffed about that.

I bought him the Lego Knights Kingdom calendar, it was the one he wanted. He had wanted one from the moment it was in the shops.

In addition to this calendar, he has a lovely handmade calendar with pockets. I have filled the pockets with different sweets. Chocolate lollies, lollies, kinder, marzipan, jelly sweets, etc.

He has been moping the whole evening. I ask him what it is, and he tells me he is sad because he made the wrong Calendar choice.



Not that he does not like his lego calendar, but he would ALSO want a Haribo jelly sweet calendar he now has seen in the shop....

I am sad. It is soooo spoilt, and greedy, and unappreciative.

Aibu to just remove them both while he is sleeping?

I just listened to him, and told him calmly I found his attitude upsetting and greedy, and unappreciative, and could he please go and get himself ready to bed. Good night.

Should I confiscate his calendars?

[HecTheHallsWithBoughsOfHolly]

No.

Because you haven't warned him that that would be a consequence of his behaviour.

[verytellytubby]

How old is he?

I agree with Hec. I would only remove if I'd given him a warning.

[Goblinchild]

I wouldn't, I'd warn him that if he whinges again about his choice then you will remove them, and will also eat the contents.
You've already told him how you feel, that's enough IMO.

[QuintessentialShadows]

Well, how could I have forewarned him?
It is not exactly the kind of behaviour I could have foreseen?

[QuintessentialShadows]

He is 8 1/2

[QuintessentialShadows]

He is 8 1/2

[Goblinchild]

Not forewarning, just tell him the consequence he's heading towards if he doesn't accept the choice he made gracefully.

[LaWeaselMys]

I understand why you are upset. I think most people would be!

Somehow I feel like it would be a bit petty to take then both away, but taking away the thoughtful fabric one and leaving him with the calender he chose would be more appropriate.

[ChippyMinton]

No, that would make you a mean mummy, which may be on a par with greedy child. Tell him he can have the jelly one next year if he remembers.

[HecTheHallsWithBoughsOfHolly]

At the point at which he displayed ingratitude. "If you continue to complain, I will remove the calenders."

[geordieminx]

I know what you are saying, and I would probably feel the same too. On the other hand, he made a shit choice, and is regretting it, we've all been there haven't we, even as adults. Lust after something, then you get it, and it's not all that/see something nicer.

You could take the calendar away, or you could just tell him that he mare his choice, it's tough, if he doesn't want to open it them he doesn't have to. Perhaps he could be given the opportunity to earn a packet of haribo over the weekend?

Or you could play super mum and buy him the haribo one (if you can afford), take the Lego one away, and wrap up the wee bits as part of his stocking?

[borderslass]

where did you see the haribo one [ds can't have chocolate but loves haribo]

[QuintessentialShadows]

geordie, I am trying to teach him financial sense, so there will be no haribo calendear forthcoming. He can possibly get a bag of haribo sweets for "saturday treat". Our kids usually just get sweet treats during the weekend.

[Alibabaandthe40nappies]

I would wait and see what his attitude to it all is tomorrow. If he is still being stroppy and wanting all 3 calendars then tell him that he has 1 hour to sort himself out, or you will take them away.

[QuintessentialShadows]

borderslass, we are in Norway.....

[borderslass]

bugger

[notevenachristmousie]

No. But tomorrow I would warn him that any more whining will most definitely result in that. And expalin what spoilt is and why you don't want him to be like that.

[QuintessentialShadows]

I will go down and tell him what the consequences will be if he continues to whine about his calendar choice.

[DirtyMartini]

I can totally see why you're annoyed and sad, but I don't think he is actually being spoiled or greedy. He is just regretting his choice and isn't mature enough yet to keep that to himself out of consideration for you, the calendar buyer :)

Don't punish him. It's unwarranted. It would be petty and unfair.

[thisisyesterday]

he;s allowed to be disappointed isn't he?

agree with geordie, we've all btdt. chosen something we thought we'd love and then regretted it

it isn't about being ungrateful, it's about being annoyed with yourself and wishing you had something else

i wouldn't take them away. i'd sympathise and say "hey, i know you wish you'd chosen a different calendar, but you know you're pretty lucky to have 2 anyway and they are both really great calendars. so let's enjoy them, and maybe the other one will be around next year"

[petratsdontsmell]

I wouldn't confiscate the calendars. I think he will mull over what you said about his attitude and will wake up in a better frame of mind.

Calendars eh! he doesn't know how lucky he is! At least you asked him which he wanted.

My dcs are now aged betwenn 25 and 16 and for the last 25 years, at least one has been in a flabbergasted state of outrage because I refuse to buy anything except religious advent calendars. DC2, aged 19, came home this year with a Thornton's choc calendar her boyfriend's mum got her- Oh! the joy!!
For at least the last 15 years they have been threatening to buy their own secular chocolate calendars- as if I care! Buy away! But I'M only buying Mary and Jesus calendars (and Joseph!).

[ChippingIn]

Being on MN is clearly making me too soft and understanding

He made the choice, he feels he made the wrong choice in hindsight. Why is that so bad?

If it had been a suprise and he had acted like this I would have been pissed off - but he's annoyed/upset that he made the wrong choice.

Not only that, but he wasn't complaining - he was sad & moping, you asked him what was wrong, he was honest with you and now he is being punished.

Quite frankly, this is the kind of thing that leads to adults who are unable to talk about their emotions for fear of being 'in the wrong'.

[ShoppingDays]

YABU. Tell him that's what he's got this year and he can always choose another one next year. Repeat as necessary.

[dementedma]

This is the first year since having children (20 years ago) that we don't have one. I HATE the commercialisation of this one lovely aspect of Christmas whereby the children now get a chocolate or reward for counting down a day of Advent - as if they dont get enough!!I have always refused to buy ones which depict Disney, or football teams or any other tat, and always bought one depicting the nativity which the girls (now 20 and 17) have always loved opening. This year, i was unable to find a non-chocolate, non-gift, nativity-featuring calendar so we have none. i am sad for DS (8 years) who loves opening the little doors - instead we have a candle which he burns down a little each evening and likes, but its not the same.
Sorry OP, this doesn't help you but if he is only opening them to get the sweets or gifts, you can hardly condemn his attitude when you bought the things in the first place.