to feel depressed every time someone says they have 'no regrets'

[SlightlyJaded]

And I don't just mean celeb interviews - for whom this seems to be standard response, but friends and family too.

I have loads of regrets. Mostly things I didn't do as opposed to bad/stupid things I did, and I can find myself feeling really low and wishing i could go back and do things differently quite often.

I ususally comfort myself that this is the same for most people and then some other smiley bastard spouts of that they have 'no regrets', and I feel miserable again.

Do most people have regrets or am I a maudlin cow?

[TechLovingDad]

They are probably lying.

No need for you to get down about it, though. You can't change the past, only the future.

[AnyFucker]

There are some things wish I hadn't done

There are some things I wish I hadn't allowed to have done to me

There are a few things I wish I had done

So, yes I have regrets. I can't change anything though, so I try not to dwell on it, 'cos it ain't healthy really.

I prefer to label it as "learning from my experience"

[Panzee]

I don't normally have regrets because every mistake I've made has led me to where I am now. As TLD said, you can't change the past. If you can, make amends and move on. If you can't, just try to move on.

[Mumcentreplus]

Jaded I don't really have major regrets because whatever I have done in my life has ultimately shaped who i am...and I quite like me...I think everyone regrets things small and large, but you can't dwell on them just move on and learn from your mistakes..if something you did hurt someone else all you can do is make sure you never do that again...

[whoknowswhatthefutureholds]

they say it because there is no point in regretting things.

Doesn't mean they don't wish they had done things differently.

[ThatllDoPig]

I regret a lot. But it is also true that I wouldn't be where I am now, have the husband, children and friends that I have now if things had been different. So it is difficult to regret them!
Is there anything that you regret not doing that you could still do one day?
What is your main regret?

[Kaloki]

I have no regrets. Same as Panzee and Mumcentreplus, if I'd changed something then maybe other things wouldn't have happened? Maybe it would have stopped some good things.

Regret is a waste of time and energy.

[MsHighwater]

I choose not to regret much anything because I can find positives in my life now that would not have happened if I had not made the (otherwise) regrettable choice.

I have had some unfortunate relationships (like most people) but, if I had not had them, I would not have been where I was when I met dh. I might have met someone richer different; I'll never know, but I can't possibly regret the path that led me to him and, thence, to my dd.

[Ragwort]

I have some big, big regrets; major things in my life that I would (should) have done differently; I am not particularly happy with the life I have ended up with BUT ... there is no point dwelling on the past, I can't change it now, I can only, as others have said, learn from the experiences and try to make sure I have the future I really want, given the circumstances I am now in. There is no point in going over and over things in the past, you have to learn to 'move on'.

[fluffles]

i don't have any regrets.. yet..
i have had some relationships that didn't work out and maybe if i'd taken other jobs life would be different but you can't know that.. there's the occassional person who has a good reason to regret some decision but i think most people with regrets are suffering from 'the grass is greener' syndrome.

[proudfoot]

YANBU

IMO it's a trite/pointless/blatantly untrue thing for people to say. I know someone who always blathers on about how she has no regrets and that it's her motto, but I don't believe her for a minute! I think everyone has a few regrets even they're only small ones. I will quite happily admit that I do!

[lojolecs]

YANBU everybody does things that they regret

[TrillianAstra]

It's an annoying phrase but I agree with Panzee - the things I have done and haven't done have shaped who I am and where I am today - and I am quite happy with both of those things.

If I strongly regretted doing or not doing something, I would wonder how that would have shaped my life now and whether it would have been worth it.

[40deniertights]

Just because someone has regrets does not mean they spend all day every day dwelling on them. I regret things I have not done often, but then I tend to overthink in general (this is not a good thing). Some people overthink less and are less likely to regret perhaps. YABU only because people are just different - some may genuinely never think about these things.

[SlightlyJaded]

ThatIDo most of my regrets are for things I wish I'd done. I wish I'd focussed on the starting the career I knew I wanted instead of spending my late teens / early 20's getting wasted and pursuing unhealthy relationships partying. I wish that I'd taken an amazing job offer that I was too scared to take at the time. I wish I'd shagged more people not been too embarrased to let certain people know I was interested. I wish I had put my foot down and stood up for myself years ago - where certain family members are concerned. Oh I could go on for ages but I do realise it's completely counter productive.

I think I am content with my life DH, wonderful DCs but I worry that I can't be completely happy as I wouldn't always be wondering what might have been.

Or maybe I've just had too much wine

[tethersend]

I wouldn't have got where I am today without having regrets. Or something.

[MonkeySee]

Ugh I have loads.

Stupid shameful things that I've done. Small every day type regrets and big ones too.

I think they are motivating. I don't want to be that person/do those things. I want to go to sleep at night feeling good.

[Jellykat]

I have no regrets,because every decision i've made, was what i thought was the right decision at the time, for whatever reason! The fact it may not of been,is by the by..

Whose to say,Slightly that if you'd started your career earlier,you wouldn't have thought 'yes, but i wish i'd partied,and let off steam first'.. or if you'd taken the amazing job offer,you may not have met DH and had wonderful DCs!

[Chil1234]

'No regrets' usually means someone has squared away any mistakes they've made, put the past behind them and feels good about themselves and the future. Everyone makes mistakes but spending too much time thinking about those mistakes and how life might have turned out differently can become a downward spiral, preventing someone enjoying the present or looking forward to the future.

If your preoocupation with things you didn't do is affecting you very negatively or means you struggle to function normally in the present then you might benefit from seeing a doctor. Depression can take many forms.

[Kaloki]

"IMO it's a trite/pointless/blatantly untrue thing for people to say."

Why? Just because you do have regrets do you think others can't feel differently?

[anonymosity]

If someone genuinely thinks they have absolutely no regrets whatsoever, they are probably completely self absorbed but not self aware and / or pretty damn stupid

[Kaloki]

Well thanks anonymosity You charmer you!

I have no regrets because to allow myself regrets would feed my already active depression, so to me having regrets is a path I dare not take. I choose to have no regrets. So does that make me not self aware, stupid or both?

[huddspur]

Everyone has regrets, if you didn't then you would keep making the same mistakes time and time again