brief back story: DS is 4 1/2. I left his dad when he was a few months old, as, in a nutshell he was a rubbish partner and father and i didnt love him anymore. I have a new dp who I have a DD of 18mo with. we have been together 3 years and are getting married soon.
DS's dad has never been that interested in him, not even when we were together, when DS was 2 his dad moved over 100 miles away to go and live with his new gf. he is meant to see DS every 2 weekends and pick him up and have him overnight. but often lets me down with crap excuses (the last one was "i can't afford the diesel" )
he doesn't give me enough maintenance even though he has a good job. and i just accept it because i don't want to fall out with him. he wouldn't give me any money towards his school uniform because he said my DP "should pay for it" ...wtf. he begrudges paying money for his own son and that disgusts me.
i could bore you all with loads more tales of his crapness but the bottom line is he couldn't give a shit about DS, he does the bare minimum and its got to the stage now where DS gets upset when i tell him his dads coming and says he "doesn't want to go to daddy's." it breaks my heart but i don't know what to do for the best because he is only 4 and i don't want to deprive him of his dad or his dad of his son. i am not one of these bitter women who ruin their kids relationships with their dads and i would never say anything bad about his dad to DS.
he has also started to ask questions about his half sister and why "she has a mummy and a daddy in the house and i only have a mummy" its like he doesn't see his dad as his dad, but merely someone he has to go and stay with sometimes.
sorry this is long and rambling, its just something i have been thinking about recently.
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AIBU?
to worry about how DS's rubbish "dad" is going to affect him as he grows up?
18 replies
superv1xen · 15/11/2010 09:49
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