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AIBU?

To tell BIL no!

5 replies

FlameGrilledMama · 03/11/2010 13:09

BIL is getting himself Baptised in about 6 months he has asked me and dp and dc to attend. The problem is MIL has been abusive and eventually physically violent towards me in th epast in front of my children and when I retaliated in self defence attempted to get me arrested.

Since that incident we have not spoken to MIL or SIL, BIL has continued to speak with both sides and remainded neutral he says he understands our point of view but he does not want to take sides because SIL will stop him having contact with his nephew. He also seems to be trying to get the family back together.

He has said that him being baptised is very important to him and he would really like it if we were there but I don't want to go and risk arguing with MIL and SIL and certainly not in front of my dc, but I don't want to let BIL down. So me and DP are thinking that we wont go, my mother suggested going to the ceremony and then returning home but I don't want to I know it will seem like me and DP don't care and may lose dps only remaining family member but I just can't face this.

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thumbwheel · 03/11/2010 13:12

Perhaps your DP should go by himself - then he has done the family thing, not "let BIL down", and you have avoided any risk of confrontation with the female loons.

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muddleduck · 03/11/2010 13:13

can you go without the children?

that way you can leave if MIL kicks off without the DC having to see it.

or invite BIL out for a separate meal out near the time to show that it is not about him.

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dreamingofsun · 03/11/2010 13:15

she surely wouldn't argue or be abusive in church. i think your mum's idea is best - obviously forewarning your BIL. would seem a shame for you and your BIL to miss out just because of nasty MIL

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FlameGrilledMama · 03/11/2010 13:16

FIL is also cut out of the family though so maybe we (including FIL) could go for a meal or do something to celebrate the day?

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FlameGrilledMama · 03/11/2010 13:18

Even if she is not abusive in church my DS has found this hard to cope with as he was present and has had nightmares about nanny and he would be confused and scared by her presence.