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AIBU?

or is 10.45pm too late to ring for a chat?

22 replies

pinkypanther · 28/10/2010 23:36

MIL rang just now. I dived for the phone thinking that it must be really urgent/important for someone to ring so late at night (family taken ill, etc). Nope, it was MIL wanting to speak to DH (who is unwell with flu and has been in bed for a while).

When I asked her if everything was ok, she said that DH had texted her 15 minutes beforehand and had asked her a question. She seemed surprised that I was a bit worried about getting a call, and proceeded to chatter away for a while.

So is 10.45pm too late for a social phone call? If it makes any difference, DH works full time, usualy office (long) hours, I am on maternity leave and up early with DC...so not shift workers or anything like that.

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Twiceshy · 28/10/2010 23:45

Normally if I get a call after 9pm I am somewhat surprised but in your instance, if your DH texted his mother, she would assume that he was still up for a call. So in those circumstances, YABU. In other circumstances you would not be. Mind you, your DH ought to have told you he was texted his mother....

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Alibabaandthe40nappies · 28/10/2010 23:45

I would ring my parents that late, and they would ring here but that is it I think.

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pinkypanther · 28/10/2010 23:49

I didn't know DH had texted her (thought he was asleep!) but logically to me, if DH had wanted to speak to her in person he would have called her, but he didn't so he texted.

Maybe IABU then! I thought it was pretty late to call and I wouldn't call anyone so late unless it was really vital.

Must go to bed anyway [yawn emotion]

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MollieO · 28/10/2010 23:50

I have someone who does this. That's what the answer machine is for.

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SoMuchToBats · 28/10/2010 23:53

Depends who is phoning! I wouldn't phone most other people after about 9.30 or so. But I would phone my sister at 10.30 as I know she keeps late hours.

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magicmummy1 · 28/10/2010 23:53

I would ring my parents at that time, and they would ring me, but I wouldn't call anyone else that late. I think it's fine if you know someone sleeps much later, but not acceptable if you're in any doubt!

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Kitta · 28/10/2010 23:54

Funny, if i'm in the UK,or it's a UK number yes I'd freak too.
However if it's an Irish nunber, not a bother.

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PaisleyPumpkin · 28/10/2010 23:56

I think it's too late. But the text changes things.

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2blessed2bstressed · 29/10/2010 00:00

I'm always up late, and so are a couple of my friends - we quite often ring each other up to around midnight. I wouldn't do it to anyone else though, because I'd hate to wake or scare someone!

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Mumwithadragontattoo · 29/10/2010 00:05

YANBU - it's way too late. I always think the cut off is 9.30pm. Any later than that I would also fear an emergency. My in laws sometimes phone closer to 10pm and it annoys me even though I am not in bed. I don't think the text changes anything unless he was actually asking her to ring him back.

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LittleMissHissyFangs · 29/10/2010 00:10

If you are in, say, Egypt. 22.45 is the EARLIEST you are likely to get a call.

If they don't get you first time, they will ring and ring and ring and ring and ring and ring until they do.

No matter what time you go to bed, you turn the ringer OFF.

Cos there is the off chance that someone, buggering about with their phone, bored, looking to pick someone up, may dial random numbers and get your mobile... again once they have locked in to a ring, they may call literally a dozen times until the phone is answered.

Don't get me started on personal visits and door knocking... [hconfused]

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scaleymcnamechange · 29/10/2010 00:11

Not too late for me [hgrin].

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Joolyjoolyjoo · 29/10/2010 00:12

The only person I'd ring at that time is my dad, as both he and I are night-owls and I know he would be up and happy to chat. Depends if your DH and his mum are like that??

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anonymosity · 29/10/2010 00:15

It is too late. Is she on her own though that might mean she gets lonely later (though this does sound like a one-off).

Pull the phone out of the wall when your'e done with getting calls through in the evening. Personally my landline is pulled most of the time.

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WriterofDreams · 29/10/2010 00:19

Why didn't she ring your DH's mobile?

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AddictedIsFeelingHappy · 29/10/2010 00:29

i dont ring anyone after 9pm and if the phone rings after 9.30 i assume its an emergancy and have been known to shout at cold callers ringing at that time! Blush

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Clary · 29/10/2010 00:34

It's not a bad time to ring me actually as I am always up and usually in (whereas at 8.30pm I am quite likely to be out! nowhere exciting, meeting or evening class or aerobics Grin).

But there are very few people I would ring at that time. In fact only close family and only then if I knew they were likely to be up. So not my mum actually. Might ring myself tho!

DH occasionally gets calls this late from pals. I'm not too bothered.

Very early in the am now, that does mean somebody's dead. I got the call about Princess Di from work 8am on a Sunday.

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kreecherlivesupstairs · 29/10/2010 08:23

Op, far too late.
Clary, does that mean you were one of her undertakers?

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Clary · 29/10/2010 21:51

Grin no kreecher, but I worked on a newspaper at the time and we did a special edition.

Funny to think that 8am on a Sunday was lie-in snoozy time! Obv before I had any children! Grin

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2rebecca · 29/10/2010 21:58

I don't phone family after 10 and other folk after 9.30. If I get a text late I may then phone that person if I fancy a chat, so husband is the one to blame here, although he may have been pleased to have a chat with his mum. I feel that if there is a phone in the bedroom he should have answered it if he'd just texted someone though as seems obvious the call would then be for him. Using you as an answering machine is unreasonable.

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ENormaSnob · 29/10/2010 22:41

Far too late in this house.

I would suspect bad news if I got a call at that time.

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ZENZIZENZIZENZIC · 29/10/2010 22:54

I would be mightily pissed off if my phone rang after 8.30.

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