To want to tell them to f*ck off

[tinky19]

Rant coming, sorry.
A bit of background. DH was made unemployed unexpectantly during pregnancy, we have managed because we saved whilst TTC.
His car died last month and it is essentail we have two cars for when I return to work in Dec as I commute an hour and he is currently retraining over an hour away. So, his parents said they had some money but by for him, which was left by a granny, for a rainy day. They used this to buy a car. We were obviously relieved and grateful.
Anyway, my plan has always been to return to work 3 days a week and they have recently found this out, not that it was ever a secret, they just assumed I would return full time.
They and his sister, now say that they think we can't manage, that I should return full time and that we shouldn't have asked for a car!!!! Which we didn't! They offered as they said the money was there.
I'm soooo cross. It's none of their business, my plans have never changed and they are making me and DH out to be sponges. I want to tell them to stick their car up their arses!
His sister was on the phone 4 times last night!

[huddspur]

YANBU, you should thank them for their advice/concern and ignore it.

[CrazyPlateLady]

YANBU. Ignore them and carry on with your plans as you see fit. Its your lives, not theirs and it has nothing to do with them. Remind them that they offered, you didn't ask and leave it at that. Tell your SIL its none of her business.

[Tortington]

ring ring

ring ring

" hello...............my business and that of my family is non of your concern. goodbye"

[atswimtwolengths]

So funny, custardo. I could just hear that!

[BertieBasset]

I hate this, offering with one hand and taking with the other.

My gran was like this, she never gave you anything just lent it to you

Get DH to clarify with his parents that it was his money from his nan so his to decide what to do with. And tell SIL to wind her neck in the cheeky bugger!

[Tootlesmummy]

It's none of their business. What does DH say?

[SuePurblybilt]

And DH is refusing to put his foot down?

[tinky19]

DH says to just ignore it, they're only concerned! He doesn't get why I'm offended by the, you're a scrounger undertones. He's told SIL it's none of her business but obviously not forcibly enough as she kept phoning.
I know that if it's not stopped soon I will tell them to fuck off! But then I'll look like the unreasonable one, having a go at 'just concerned' parents.

[phipps]

How does you not working full time mean you shouldn't have a car bought by money left to him btw? Why hadn't he been given the money already?

[clam]

I don't get this. What difference does it make whether you work full or part-time? You'll still need that second car for three days a week.
And in what way do they think you can't manage being part-time? Financially? Yet they want to take the car back?

Bizarre.

[tinky19]

because they're cross I'm not going back full time because they think we need the money. We're not well off but we'll manage and 3 days a week is as much as I can manage apart from DS. (don't care if that sounds sad)

[pallette]

How old is your DH and at what age were they going to give him this money?

[SuePurblybilt]

SIL phoning 4 times a night to tell you what to do is past the point of concern I think.

Ask them how you giving the car back would help your family financially. If they're worried now, they'd really be worried if you couldn't get to work for even three days. They're just trying to control you and I would try to nip it in the bud tbh.

[tinky19]

I don't think it was ever done officially TBH. It was just always said it was there, for both him and his sis.

[clam]

I still don't understand (thick emoticon) why they think you won't need the car to get to work for the three days.

And I guess the money was in a larger pot given to the PILs but unofficially earmarked by them for the DH and SIL.

[clam]

Oh, and how do they know yours and your DH's salaries? I can't for the life of me ever dreaming of telling my ILs what I earned. None of their business. And I loved them dearly. Sounds to me as if you both need to distance yourselves from them a bit.

[tinky19]

They'er not saying we wont need the car but IMO from what has been said, are implying that we have taken advantage of them by accepting the car and then me not going back full time. (even though the money was put aside for DH)

[tinky19]

They're making huge assumptions clam!

[SilverSky]

Sounds like touch of jealousy that you are not going back FT. They should be pleased for your DS that you are.

Tell them to shove it and tell the SIL to mind her beeswax. Some people believe they have the right to comment on stuff that is no concern of theirs!!!

[clam]

Oh, I see. If you can afford to "only" work part-time, then you clearly don't need their kind gift.

Your DH needs to handle this.

[ninah]

yabu I think you should leave out the * and tell them to fuck off