To hate being a housewife/homemaker?

(99 Posts)
domeafavour Mon 25-Oct-10 14:07:23

I love being a mum, but hate hate hate the other stuff that comes with it.
The washing, drying on the line, on radiators, in a dryer that creases everything, the ironing, cooking , cleaning.
Sorting bills, car tax, direct debits, fixing everything that goes wrong. Organising, re- organising. Bring responsible for every bloody thing in the house.
Cooking, so sick of trying to think up new meals. Lost all appetite, don't even want to eat anything I cook.

Can't wait to go back to work, can you tell?!

domeafavour Mon 25-Oct-10 14:08:08

Oh, and one, just one unbroken nights sleep would be lovely

TrinityTheTwattyRhino Mon 25-Oct-10 14:10:10

would it help to think of it all as being a mum

I mean you cant be the mum you want to be without having a housem car, bills, food, organisation

I'll shut up, I know what you mean about sleep

but I've just started to become the motherand homemaker I've alwasy wanted to be

its been a long road and I'm not great at it but I'm doing the best for my girls

fandango75 Mon 25-Oct-10 14:10:56

Empthasise. went back 4 days a week sometimes work from home. Have part time nanny and cleaner / ironing lady. I know some of you 'earth mothers' will think i sound like a spoilt madam but the reason i did a tough degree and worked my nuts off for over a decade was so that i didn't have to clear up / organise other peoples shit, just have fun quality time with my family grin

preparing for enormous flaming but don't care

trixie123 Mon 25-Oct-10 14:12:42

YANBU. I had a year off with DS one and did enjoy it but have just gone back part time but after only a few weeks I am wishing I had gone back for more days a week and sooner as I am loving being back at work so much.
How old is your DC? The unbroken nights will come eventually, promise. In the meantime, can you try to explain to your DP that just because you are at home does not mean that you are not busy bringing up / caring for your child and that he could still contribute to household tasks to some degree?

granhands Mon 25-Oct-10 14:13:41

I know exactly what you mean.

I love being with my baby, but I hate being at home, it feels like a detached prison.

I am sick of cooking the same things over and over and over again.

I dont care about dusting etc and I never ever will, just because I am on maternity leave does not mean I have travelled back in time to the 1950s.


Oh and sleep, mmmmmmmmmm.

fandango75 Mon 25-Oct-10 14:15:51

i did some charity voluntary work whilst on mat leave so not all my time was 1950s housewife focused - is there anything you could do locally for a couple of hours a week?

ghoulishglendawhingesagain Mon 25-Oct-10 14:18:28

I don't want to piss on your chips, but won't you just be doing the same, plus working as well??

Have it all, my arse. OOOh I get to run a house and work, how jolly enlightened we are. David and Gidiot will us all stuck in the kitchen if they get their way. <and breathe>

wayoftheworld Mon 25-Oct-10 14:22:01

Oh- I could have written this post. Housework - will I ever love doing it? Do I have to love it? Currently loathe it- gets done because there is no more floor space!!

Feel like my brain has fallen apart so going to work looks even more scary. ..better not to think any of the above...ommmmm....confused

LynetteScavo Mon 25-Oct-10 14:23:21

But surely if you go back to work, the cooking and cleaning will still have to be done? confused

smallwhitecat Mon 25-Oct-10 14:25:05

Message withdrawn

bundlebelly Mon 25-Oct-10 14:25:45

I know. It can feel like death by drudgery. I never feel on top of anything.
But I hated working too, so there's no pleasing me!
Just keep it all basically hygenic and get a slow cooker to bung stuff in, then get out of there!

Onetoomanycornettos Mon 25-Oct-10 14:28:39

Well, I wish working outside the home meant you didn't have to do that stuff, the only thing most people buy out is a cleaner, so the washing, folding, cooking all still has to be done. I am personally aiming to get as high as possible professionally so I can pay to get a housekeeper/cook as I hate all these activities, so does my husband, it may never happen but it keeps me motivated

ForMashGetSmash Mon 25-Oct-10 14:32:41

No YANBU....doing all that crap just isn't everone's idea of happy...I also hate laundry and cleaning...but I LOVE being at home, I love gardening...hate cooking though and also never want what I have cooked.

Panzee Mon 25-Oct-10 14:33:10

I was so bad at being on maternity leave. I absolutely loved going back to work!

carryonupthehill Mon 25-Oct-10 14:45:28

Yes it is all dull, I just refuse to do it. I only agreed to having a family with DH if he agreed to a cleaner. We also have an ironing service who collects. I'm quite lucky in that DH actually likes cooking so he does it more than me.

I do all the bills etc but that's also because I'm better at it, there's not much to deal though with online banking and direct debits.

MrsKarpet Mon 25-Oct-10 15:09:54

I quite like vacuuming, washing up, tidying, laundry, dusting etc etc [don't believe in ironing, 'tis the devil's work] But only once. What I can't stand is that you have to keep doing it over and over and over again. Till you die. Gaaaaaaaaaagh.

My house is quite frankly a tip because there's always something better to do, like go out!

tabouleh Mon 25-Oct-10 15:16:46

OP - have you got a partner?

(I know some have not got partners at home)

Not sure if people are aware that having a partner often adds to the work for a woman rather than decreasing it.

get this book: Wifework!

kenobi Mon 25-Oct-10 15:23:24

Can I make a suggestion? This website tells you what to buy for your weekly shop and what meals to cook every night. It's aimed at couples but I reckon it's adaptable.

Also, stop ironing. It is evil and should not be encouraged. The only things that genuinely need ironing are work shirts and even they should be discouraged from multiplying.

Mishy1234 Mon 25-Oct-10 15:24:03


I love being a Mum and tbh if I had the option of not going back to work I wouldn't. However, I do recognise that there would be parts of being a SAHM I wouldn't like and completely understand why people want to return to work and really enjoy it.

It can be very isolating being at home and completely relentless. At least there are baby groups and activities to go to in order to break up the day. My Mum says when she was at home with us there was NOTHING! What a nightmare that must have been. I take my hat off to her, I really do.

Hohumchops Mon 25-Oct-10 15:24:35

I am fed up with the housework too - and get fed up with having to tick 'housewife/homemaker' box on forms and stuff cos apparently 'parent' isn't important enough occupation.

Trouble is, to escape the drudgery and get my life and money back by working, I have to give up the important 'parenting' job.....and that I cannot do.

scaleymcnamechange Mon 25-Oct-10 15:25:40

Yanbu. I find all aspects of housework excruciatingly dull and boring and get v v v stressed about it.

3thumbedwitch Mon 25-Oct-10 15:30:56

Agree with ditching the ironing. I Don't Iron and I made that very clear to DH - I do all the washing and hang his shirts to dry on hangers, so it's up to him to decide on an ad hoc basis whether or not they need ironing and do it himself if they do.

I really do hate housework and do the bare minimum. So long as the place is relatively free of dust on the floor, the rest doesn't bother me (do hate having board floors for this reason - doesn't take long for the dustbunnies to build up!)

I am lucky that DH does some of the cooking - when I had DS, feeding him took forever so I refused point blank to be doing the cooking as well. We do alternate nights now, ditto with the washing up (or DH would just get away with creating huge amounts of mess and never clearing anything up - not having that!)

I love being a SAHM but really don't enjoy the housework side of things so I do sympathise. I get it relatively easy, by the sounds of things, because DH does all the bills too - he has to really, he's the one with all the money in his account - he pays something into an account for me every month but still hasn't sorted out joint accounts [note to self: get DH to sort out joint account pronto!]

ShirtyGerty Mon 25-Oct-10 15:39:49

YANBU. In a few months I'll be on maternity leave for 9 months. I'm dreading having all the house stuff to do. I'm seriously considering getting a secret cleaner who only comes when DH is at work to do it all while I just take care of the baby.

sprogger Mon 25-Oct-10 15:44:07

YANBU. I've noticed that the instant I'm on maternity leave, my DH starts forgetting to put his dishes in the dishwasher and leaving it to me to do. As soon as I go back to work, he stops slacking off.

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