To want to ask my MIL not to wear perfume

[chillichill]

my MIL wears terrible perfume. I know I have no right to pass comment on the cheap stench but after she visits dd stinks of it. dd is only a month old and I don't use any perfumed products in her, I don't even put my own perfume on my neck because I don't want it to rub off on her, I love her natural baby smell. After a visit from the MIL I have to bath her cause it awful.
dd has not broken out or anything from the perfume it really is just a matter of taste, my taste. How do I tactfully tell my MIL not to wear perfume around dd? or at least not on her neck if she's going to give cuddles?

[booooooooooyhoo]

i sympathise. exps mum is the same and it is intocicating. the dcs comes home reeking of her perfume. but i can't dictate what she wears.

[booooooooooyhoo]

intoxicating

[ForMashGetSmash]

Oooh....it's a toughie! You WILL offend her probably....the only thing I can think of is t find some research that proves it is dangerous to newborns....and act all shocked and horrified as you share the new-found info with her. Hang on....

[Goblinchild]

Have you tried buying her some lovely perfume?

[ForMashGetSmash]

stayinhealth.wordpress.com/2010/05/12/perfumes-can-be-dangerous/

[woopsidaisy]

Oh-please don't hurt her feelings! I would be so upset if I was her.I do get where you are coming from,but if she is otherwise a lovely MIL and Granny,I would leave well alone.Your little one won't mind when she is having cuddles when older,in fact she will probably associate the smell with being happy and loved.

[ForMashGetSmash]

Well woopsidaisy I don't think the OP is concerned onlyabout the scent...but the hidden dangerous chemicals in perfumes...

[LittleMissHissyFangs]

oh I feel your pain.

My mum did the same. EL Bloody Beautiful.... Arghhh! her H likes it apparently..... I loathe it. Not even sure she is that fussed on it... but cos he likes it, he buys it.

she's my mum, yet it still took me YEARS to say tbh, i find it cloying....

I don't envy you at all, with a MIL it has to be nigh on impossible to ever be able to say anything.

Your only option is to be quick. White lie, say she's a little wheezy after visits from MIL and you've isolated everything you can think of, you read somewhere that "smells could have an impact"*, so are only hoping to isolate any cause. Would she mind not wearing perfume on her visits for a while, so you can see if it IS the perfume.

You can then say that you think that there is a slight improvement.+

• you just read it here....
  

• slight improvement in lack of stench....
  
  Job done!
  
  Christmas is coming.... get some Clarins or something and say natural smells seem to be fine....

[HumphreyCobbler]

I think you should just put up with it tbh.

I hate it too, I remember how my precious baby smelt horrible after some people would visit, but I really think that telling your mum would just cause vast offence.

I don't think it wold be harmful to your baby.

The idea of buying her some nice perfume is a really good one.

[Goblinchild]

'dd has not broken out or anything from the perfume it really is just a matter of taste, my taste'

She doesn't mention dangerous chemicals, just that she doesn't want her baby to smell of rancid perfume.

[chillichill]

whoops- I know your right but I just can't stand it and hate having to put dd through a bath and change when she doesn't need it. and even then, because I don't use soap o. her, she still smells.
thanks for the link. she is visiting today so will mention it but I don't think I have the balls to ask her to stop. if it was my own mother, no problem and she would understand but I don't think MIL would understand and she can be rather awkward to talk to at times.

[LittleMissHissyFangs]

If you are going to bring it up, have balls and say that you really, really don't want to offend her in any way, but you want to try a period with no perfume, as she is so small.