M and S baby change hijacked with guard outside!

[veget8ed]

AIBU to be PO that when I went to change my 4mo DD in M&S that a woman stopped me from going in by blocking the door and saying, "you can't go in there, my daughter's feeding in there." So blinking what?! I am female BTW. I am also BFing and much prefer starbucks etc and the chance to have a chat with who I'm shopping with and would not even consider sitting in a baby change to BF even less prevent other mums from using the facility for it's intended purpose.

[MrsKitty]

Yanbu, but it's a sad fact that many BF mums feel they have to hide away.

It annoys me when shops (and M&S do it all the time) put a chair in the baby change room and call it a BF area .

[taintedpaint]

This is so weird! What did you do?! YANBU btw, I think the 'guard' was bloody rude though!

[veget8ed]

I had to trek to the other end of the shopping centre to the baby change ( which has a feeding room and a seperate loo) to change DD's bum. Thanks taintedpaint, you've cheered me up!

[DanceOnTheDarkSide]

YABU

She may be uncomfortable feeding in front of others, she may have found that, for now, the only way she can feed is to have her breasts out and not hidden- that was certainly the case with me for a short while!

She may not even have been aware that her mum was doing that!

Or she simply have wanted a few mins to herself away from her mum while she fed her baby with no interference and gave her a fake job to do.

[PoorlyConstructed]

I think you should be annoyed with M&S for providing such a bloody unsuitable bf area. Some women do feel uncomfortable about feeding in public, and that's fair enough. However, I think that providing them with what ill almost certainly have been an uncomfortable chair in the babychange next to the stinky nappy bin is far worse than providing no facilities for private feeding at all. It's unpleasant, often unhygenic, and it implies that you should have to hide away and be uncomfortable. If they're going to provide breastfeeding facilities, they should provide a comfortable, separate room.

[MumNWLondon]

YANBU. She was BU to hog the baby changing room to feeding though.

[veget8ed]

LOL......,couldn't live without bumpbands and vest tops, actually they would be more useful in the bounty packs!! OJ!

[kreecherlivesupstairs]

YWNBU but neither was the woman who was BFing. DH actually changed DD on the floor of a department store in Bangkok. There was only facilities in the toilets for women.

[zipzap]

Think it is outrageous that she thinks it is for her daughter's personal usage! (I am assuming that it was a reasonable sized facility that you would expect to get several people and their babies in rather than say a single toilet cubicle )

I would have gone to the nearest member of staff and asked them to come with me to tell the woman that she was not allowed to tell other customers that they weren't allowed in to the facility provided for everyone.

And in my ideal world I would have just been able to tell her not to be so ridiculous and marched into the changing room.

I was in the changing room / feeding room of our local shopping centre recently, in the feeding area, which is in a separate curtained off bit from the changing area, and has a sofa, chair, tv, couple of things on the wall for siblings to play with while the mum is feeding. There were 2 mums on the sofa plus a kid, one of them was feeding, the other had a kid in a pushchair and there was another little one roaming around. There were a couple of other mums that had to just stand and feed their baby or perch while feeding them in their pram because the non-feeding mum just sat and talked to her friend while ignoring the other kids.

To make matters worse, once the feeding mum had finished she scooped the kid from the sofa back into the pushchair and then changed the baby's nappy on the sofa without bothering to get up and use the changing stations that were all of 10-15 steps away. Didn't even bother to put anything down to protect the sofa in case of leaky poo

Thought it was dreadful on all sorts of levels - selfish of people using the sofa to chat instead of letting mums that really could have done with it sit down, and just horrible and gross to stink out the feeding area when they could easily have moved to the changing station - and then to not even have bothered to put something underneath the baby whilst wiping up all the poo - ergh.

sorry op, didn't mean that to turn into a bit of a rant about other selfish changing room users!

[colditz]

I'd have just smiled and nodded and walked straight past her. You do not get to commandeer whole rooms just because you happen to be using your breasts for their purpose.

[sapphireblwhooooo]

I agree with zipzap......I think I would have approached a member of staff about it.

[plantsitter]

Aw. I'm imagining the mother of a really tiny baby, maybe having probs breastfeeding, whose other has insisted on her going out to M&S. The new mum might be feeling anxious about breastfeeding in general, never mind about doing it in public.

So YAN exactly BU, but she might really need a bit of a break.

[plantsitter]

mother not other.

[pigletmania]

I would have said that you know that you can bf anywhere you know, its not illegal. Mabey suggest that her daughter get a pasmina or something when out an about.

[PutTheKettleOn]

YANBU, though I feel a bit sorry for the BF woman.

I was at a wedding with my 4 week old and there was only one toilet with baby change facilities - after waiting outside for a good 10 mins I knocked on the door to see if there was actually anyone in there and a woman shouted 'sorry you can't come in, I'm expressing!' I appreciate it must be hard to find somewhere to express at a wedding, but still, there were loads of kids and that was the only baby change area. She didn't even offer to come out for a minute. I ended up changing her on the stinky floor of the ladies with everyone stepping around me, not fun.

[wonka]

I couldn't have resisted changing baby there and then on the floor handing the nappy bag to 'granny' and saying pop that in the bin for me when shes done please

[deathjeff]

I never felt comfortable feeding in public so have had to do it sitting on a toilet in a teeny cubicle, in a feeding area with possibly the perviest dad in the world, in a baby changing room with other peoples kids running wild and in a shop's changing room.

It made me dread going out because I just hated it. I hated the humiliation of having to feed my dd in a toilet. I hated seeing mum's ff in public when I felt like I was constantly scuttling around from one horrible situation to another.

It's put me off for life.

[chipmonkey]

PutTheKettleOn, when I have found myself in a situation where I had to express and there was nowhere to do it I have expressed in the car with a nursing cover over me. Would hate to hog the only changing room!

[elphabadefiesgravity]

I exclusvely expressed for my ds for the first month of his life. I would never have hogged the only change room, even in the early days where I struggled.

[SweetKate]

I would have changed on the floor next to the mother. Always have a changing mat in the change bag. The given the mother the dirty nappy bag to hold while I sorted things out with baby.

[arses]

To be fair, they usually have a lock so it's hardly that outrageous. I didn't usually lock the door when I was feeding so that others could use the room but I did from time to time e.g. so I could use the adult loo in there! (Some things do require you to hog the room).

[ForMashGetSmash]

YANBU...can't believe people are saying the woman who was feeding may have been uncomfortable..who gives a jiggle what SHE felt? HOw did YOU feel? Breasfeeding does not mean you get first dibs on rooms! If she feels shy or whatver then she should be the one put out...not the general public!

Personally I would have shoved moved the woman/guard aside and gone in anyway.

[plantsitter]

Not saying it does mean that. Of course the General Public has a right to use the room. No harm in being a bit sympathetic sometimes though is there?

And anyway if the woman had been changing a particularly pooey nappy with the door locked it could take the same amount of time. Yeah the mother was a bit melodramatic but y'know, new baby, stressful shopping experience, hysterical daughter (maybe)... just don't see the need to be aggressive about it.