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that some brides should not choose strapless dresses.....

(322 Posts)
PosieParker Mon 11-Oct-10 17:44:28

Just saw another collection of pictures with a bride getting married in a dress where humongous breasts are nearly falling out and arms are huge. Now I've seen a few curvy girls look lovely like this and so it's not a size thing, but more of a suitability thing. I am not large but my arms are not small and so I wouldn't wear this. Why do some folk not know their own shape?

TattyDevine Mon 11-Oct-10 17:51:13

I tend to agree and tend to avoid this kind of dress myself.

I got married years ago but you would be AMAZED at how little choice there actually is in terms of dress style for those who like a little more coverage round the shoulders and arms.

Everything seems to be strapless or shoestring style straps (which may as well be strapless), or off the shoulder bodicy types.

If there is something with sleeves or more coverage, it is often out of season or frumpy or wrong in some other way, or god forbid, a meringue, and the nice ones are £3000+ (that I found anyway)

So YANBU but despite all the hundreds of dresses out there, brides are not always spoilt for choice...

MardyBra Mon 11-Oct-10 17:52:29

If they feel comfortable and think they look lovely, then then should wear what they bloody like.

TattyDevine Mon 11-Oct-10 17:52:54

Also, if you are getting married in a church, you want the vicar to be speaking of the body of christ, not muttering "christ, what a body" as you walk down the aisle.

But generally I think brides should wear what they are happy and feel beautiful in.

booooooooooyhoo Mon 11-Oct-10 17:53:36


it is up to each individual bride what she wears on her wedding day. thsi is one day where she definitely should be suiting herself and not listening to anyone else's rude comments about what she chode to wear.

saffy85 Mon 11-Oct-10 17:53:56

YANBU I personally would never wear a strapless dress without some hefty scaffolding under my boobs to keep them up.

Not all styles suit all brides. I refuse to believe that all brides look gorgeous on their wedding day. My stepmum looked too bog round the hips and her maid of honour looked like a very cheap sofa. Serves them both right for being brutally honest when trying on dresses.

ISNT Mon 11-Oct-10 17:54:09

YANBU but also agree with tatty that if you want something other than strapless there is very very little to choose from. I hate my armpits (don't ask!) and had a helluva job finding a dress with little sleeves. They were all strapless or with full length sleeves + full coverage everywhere else = aimed at much older brides. It was very strange.

PosieParker Mon 11-Oct-10 17:54:40

Perhaps there is a market for a more conservative dress! Even when, when I got engaged, I was a tiny six I hated my arms and so wouldn't have wanted a strapless dress.

saffy85 Mon 11-Oct-10 17:54:50

big not bog.

bigfootbeliever Mon 11-Oct-10 17:55:01

YABU - live and let live.

No-one is forcing you to wear one.

ISNT Mon 11-Oct-10 17:55:26

I mean strapless is not an easy look to wear, IMO. I would've looked shit but it was a total PITA finding anything else.

Shame really.

PosieParker Mon 11-Oct-10 17:56:06

Interesting that what is available is the trap of not looking ones best, true even for you winter evening dresses!

PosieParker Mon 11-Oct-10 17:56:58

I know I am projecting my own insecurities.

kveta Mon 11-Oct-10 17:59:07

well I'm rotund on the large side and had a shoestring strap type dress and it looked ok (I think!). my parents spent all the time before the wedding telling me it would look ridiculous and I'd be an ugly bride then decided on the day it wasn't so bad (photo on profile). I'm not sure whether you're being unreasonable or not tbh!

LabMonkey Mon 11-Oct-10 18:00:17

I found loads of sleeved dresses on French and Italian sites when I was looking but couldn't find anything in the UK. I'm lucky with a Mum who made my dress for me - with sleeves. I think it depends if the bride is comfortable rather than size. I'm a 10/12 and I look hideous in strapless dresses. The UK wedding industry has convinced brides it's the only option so it's all you get.

TattyDevine Mon 11-Oct-10 18:01:35

Its true about evening dresses. When I see a really chic dress with some kind of sleeve, I snap it up.

I'm not totally paranoid about arms, as such - but I dont always like the total strapless held there by your boobs thing. Depends a bit on the occasion.

In terms of ballgowns, there is VERY little else. Its all prom style stuff and strapless or silly straps that are so silly it may as well be.

I guess its hard to design a dress with more coverage that doesn't look casual or matronly...

perfumedlife Mon 11-Oct-10 18:02:50

YANBU I wore one and bitterly regret it now. I was slim, but that bit of breast fat/skin at bust height always hangs out.

What can I say, I got married in a hurry blush

thesecondcoming Mon 11-Oct-10 18:03:34

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

booooooooooyhoo Mon 11-Oct-10 18:05:08

kveta, i think you're wedding dress is gorgeous and also, my ds has that reindeer suit aswell. grin

MardyBra Mon 11-Oct-10 18:05:33

I have one word for the evening dress dilemma:


twilight3 Mon 11-Oct-10 18:07:48

it's not just brides though, is it? I see all the time people, especially young women, who would look absolutely gorgeous had they not tried to squeeze in clothes that are two sizes too small for them.

JaneS Mon 11-Oct-10 18:08:31

I do think the current trend for identikit, strapless + corset dresses is a bit cruel. Both my girl cousins are big girls and both went on and on about how slim they looked in their dresses (because they've suddenly got waists). It would have been lovely, except one of them burst into tears when she saw her photos because she hadn't realized what she looked like above the waist.

I could cheerfully have gone and yelled at whoever sold her that dress, and I'm not even particularly fond of her.

TattyDevine Mon 11-Oct-10 18:10:30

Oh yes the pashmina thing of course, and there are loads of shrugs and boleros and the like but I just wish there was more choice from an all-in-one perspective. Particularly in the middle of winter etc. Pashminas are a faff, always dipping the fringe in my champas grin

Trubert Mon 11-Oct-10 18:13:37

I had my wedding dress made because of this. I designed it myself and it didn't cost that much.

I also had two evening dresses made, again to my own design. I am a large woman and I regard it as money well spent in the public interest. I need to be covered up.

YABU, but only because its all you can get.

I had visions of a dress with sleeves to get married in. Could I find one? Not a chance, unless I wanted to pay £3k. Ended up with a strapless dress and a gorgeous lacy cardigan thing to go over it, that the bridal shop's alterations lady actually made for me.

And I had the opposite problem - strapless dresses make me look like an ironing board. sad Particularly when (again unless I wanted to spend ££££££) bridal bras (i.e. white, strapless) couldn't be found in a smaller size than 34C.

YANBU. Not flattering if you're a larger lass.

PosieParker Mon 11-Oct-10 18:27:09

You're right about the bride bras!!

rubyrubyruby Mon 11-Oct-10 18:32:44

YANBU - and I won't be wearing one.

CerealOffender Mon 11-Oct-10 18:34:25

it is so generic

hair up
sleeveless, sausage skin dress
tango skin


expatinscotland Mon 11-Oct-10 18:36:14

I hate those strapless wedding dresses.

They always look like underwear, like the bride needs to lay her dress over the top of them.

And sure, it's up to the person what they wear, but they just might wind up looking like shit.

vodkacat Mon 11-Oct-10 18:38:29

must be hard to be perfect and critise others, does it really have anything to do with you!
what about live and let live!!

expatinscotland Mon 11-Oct-10 18:39:34

Well sure, live and let live. But don't expect everyone to think back fat, excess cleavage and bingo wings are an attractive site.

YADNBU Posie. Hate them.

Strapless wedding dresses are one of all time bugbears.

Only the very slim and petite of nork can carry them off (and imo would still look better in a non strapless dress).

At every wedding I've been to for the last 10 years the bride has worn strapless. The amount of cooked ham arms, dodgy tattoos on show and incessant and extremely ladylike hoiking that goes on is shocking.

Imo they are predictable, boring, unflattering and slightly tacky.

To me a wedding dress should be pure glamour and sophistication. Strapless dresses are not these things.

sincitylover Mon 11-Oct-10 18:40:34

ooh my wedding dress is for sale - with sleeves, three quarter length dress and sleeves. Very modest - I wanted it to expose more cleavage but dressmaker said no!!

Size 12/14


anyone interested Ill send them a photo

happiestblonde Mon 11-Oct-10 18:42:36

YANBU but if people are happy then that's all that matters.

I don't want a strapless dress, I want something with pretty little lace shoulder bits. I am a bit worried though that I will refuse to eat from the day I get engaged to my wedding day, I hate photos of myself now so something will need to be done. I'm an 8 but generally small and I seem to wear fat very badly

cakewench Mon 11-Oct-10 18:52:46

YANBU! I think it's the fact that they are so often not fitted correctly, nor paired with the proper undergarments. This is also possibly because some women try to insist they are a certain size, and couldn't possibly need a size larger than they usually wear (bridal shop dresses often run small).

I have seen many, many cases wear brides could have look 100% better if they had just worn some structuring undergarments. And I say this as someone who lives in jeans and really doesn't generally care about fashion. If you're going all out on a fancy dress, don't you want to look your best in it?

And yes, it's nice that the bride is happy, and yes it's "her day" and all that, but I personally would rather someone tell me that the style doesn't suit me, or whatever, than to have hundreds of photos of me looking lumpy in all the wrong places.

you all have me worried now about my dress!!!

pointydog Mon 11-Oct-10 18:57:28

I think about 95% of brides shouldn't wear strapelss. It's not the most flattering design.

salizchap Mon 11-Oct-10 19:00:04

It´s nearly impossible to find a wedding dress with sleeves, that doesn´t look prudish, covered all the way up to the neck.

A friend of mine size 22 was told in several sbridal shops, in the most rude fashion; "oh, we don´t do dresses in your size."

In the end she just had to settle for what she could find: a sleeveless, strapless bodicy number. Actually it didn't look too bad.

nikki1978 Mon 11-Oct-10 19:02:48

I spent ages trying to find the dress I wanted as I didn't want strapless. I would feel a bit naked in one to be honest. Some people look lovely in them and some don't but I think it is more people choosing something they like the look of rather than what suits them.

I did see one woman who had a strapless wedding dress with a greying white bra underneath - straps and all! That was pretty bad wink

My dress is on my profile.....

expatinscotland Mon 11-Oct-10 19:04:29

That's a nice dress, nikki.

nikki1978 Mon 11-Oct-10 19:06:27

Ah thank you blush

Funnily enough it was the cheapest one I found too. Since my mum was buying my dress I was very careful not to take the piss grin

I had an off the shoulder dress for my first wedding - i found it in a charity shop and thought it looked lovely - on hindsight i looked bloody awful because I have very wide shoulders lol.

I am getting married next year and have a strapless dress - I think it looks lovely.

emptyshell Mon 11-Oct-10 19:07:33

I got married this year.

There is naff all out there that isn't strapless or shoestring straps these days - it seems to be the current fad style.

Wedding shops catering for anything about a size 14 are hard to find, wedding dresses generally size hideously small as well - so add a size on to your usual number.

I got married in one of those strapless things the OP is going on about - shocking huh? I also wore a wrap all day because I know my arms aren't my best feature - but hell... I know the twin bald headed ladies are one of my better features so hoik 'em up!

Because of the crap situation buying plus-size wedding stuff - I ended up wearing an evening dress from Debenhams which I altered myself to make sure it DID fit properly and I wore Cadbury purple... and actually, I don't particularly care what nasty ignorant people think about whether fat women should dare get married at all (which is basically where we're heading) because we had a cracking day and, considering I'm one of the world's most un-photogenic people as a general rule and hyper-critical of myself in photos, I acutally did look lovely! Not often I'll say that about photos of myself either.

trixie123 Mon 11-Oct-10 19:09:08

my sis is getting married and is a larger size. she went to a shop that specialises in it and actually has samples she could try on and everything. Most of them were strapless and I disagree with a number of comments on here. Encasing flab in shiny white fabric does not hide it or make it look better. A well fitted sleeveless dress with appropriate underwear and a lovely necklace creates a better shape than short sleeves that stop on the widest part of the arm or skinny straps that cut into the flesh. Given that the majority if brides get married in summer and will be in warm inside venues if in winter I doubt there is much call for sleeved dresses that would be far too hot. My mum is obsessed with the idea that beautiful = slim and the point of every outfit is to be slimming. Its really sad and depressing how she lets it rule her life and how its the first comment she makes whenever clothes are the topic. Its not the be all and end all to look slim.

nikki your dress looks beautiful.

salizchap - It's really not that difficult all

That last one I bloody want as my wedding dress by the way.

expatinscotland Mon 11-Oct-10 19:10:55

This not a hot place.

Strapless always looks naked and like the bride is wearing a corset+petticoat.

It's just not a good look.

Sure, people can wear what they like, I'm not skinny myself, but they don't look good on larger people. People think they do, but they don't, IMO.

PandaEis Mon 11-Oct-10 19:10:57

i didnt want to wear a strapless dress but it was really hard to find one with straps that wasnt frumpy etc. i settled for a halterneck which i liked (pics on profile) and im glad i did as it was so different from all the dresses my married friends had chosensmile

YABU though as it is personal choice and what would be good for you isnt necessarily suitable for another persons tastesmile

perfumedlife Mon 11-Oct-10 19:12:28

Good for you emptyshell. That's all that matters really, that you feel good. I look back and dislike my strapless number but the day was so good that this can't spoil it atall.

curlymama Mon 11-Oct-10 19:16:43

I agree with the OP, but it really is hard to find much else. I'm a size 10, and when I tried strapless dresses I still got that little bit of unattractive armpit fat! And my arms are quite thin.

I was determind that I wanted a halterneck dress for my wedding last year, because I knew it would suit me and I knew my husband would like it. But It was sooo hard to find even a couple to choose from. In the end the only reason I got to try on more than one was because my Mum knew a lady in a bridal wear shop who agreed to order samples for me, but it costs them to do that so I did feel obliged to get one from her.

Bue Mon 11-Oct-10 19:19:45

YANBU. I'd venture that it doesn't look great on most people, but everyone seems to think it's the style for them. Though the bridal industry does have a lot to answer for - there is so little choice in non-strapless dresses these days that I think some brides end up in it by default.

expatinscotland Mon 11-Oct-10 19:20:48

Kaloki made her dress, too, because she didn't want strapless. If you visit an Asian sari or fabric shop, they might be able to tell you where to find a seamstress who will make one for you from a vintage pattern and it won't cost the Earth.

PosieParker Mon 11-Oct-10 19:22:17 typed in Bridal wear with sleeves and it came up with modesthmm wedding dresses!!!

Spero Mon 11-Oct-10 19:23:07

Thank goodness, I thought it was just my bug bear. Why o why o why is this the prevailing trend in bridlewear when only about 1% of the population looks good in it? In the (now vanishingly unlikely) event of my ever getting married, I would have to be drunk or bribed a six figure sum to reveal my upper arms.

What do winter brides do? Wear a little furry cape?


Nikki and kveta you both look beautiful smile I agree that some people go for this style without thinking it through.
My bf had a strapless dress and it was stunning because it perfectly suited her lovely figure. However I can think of at least three brides who should have been saved from themselves grin Two of those three were exceptionally thin women. The worst one was the dress which was a beautiful line and fabric, had obviously cost an arm and a leg....and made the bride's small boobs TOTALLY vanish.

(oh and two of those dresses had sleeevs - it wasn't the sleeves that were the problem!)

TheFlabHasGotttaGo Mon 11-Oct-10 19:25:42

I don't think strapless is the most flattering for everyone. I've never been a fan of the naked look for myself but I do realise that some people can look good in it. It's not just about being fat - I was a size 14/16 when I got married and I'm sadly a bit bigger than that atm - but very few podgy white people can carry the look well.

I don't understand why people blindly follow fashion rather than find something that suits them. That goes for all clothing though, not just wedding dresses!

I had one slim friend who lost so much weight in the run up to her wedding (a nervous non eater rather than a planned diet) that her boobs could hardly hold the thing up. Fortunately her mum casually passed her a beautiful wrap for the photos so the bones didn't show!

Maisiethemorningsidecat Mon 11-Oct-10 19:29:19


Not everyone can pull the look off - they are either a bit on the large side with that roll of plump under their armpit spilling over onto the dress, or a skinny bird with stick arms, whose rib cage can be seen through the dress gringrin

Otoh, it does seem very difficult to buy anything else, judging by what you see in shop windows hmm. Thank god I'm not getting married nowadays, I'd be dooooooomed.

marenmj Mon 11-Oct-10 19:32:16

Bunny, I looked at Claire Pettibone dresses when I was looking for my wedding. Do you know how much they cost? (answer: lots)

Posie, those are mormon wedding dresses - specifically designed to hide the special underthings they wear.

My parents and DH's are all mormon and they never under any circumstances bare their shoulders. Out of respect for our families I wanted something with a bit more coverage and had a hell of a time finding it. (dress on profile, ended up paying 700 for it at a sample sale, but then, it wasn't available in ANY other size and in retrospect I definitely needed better structural undergarments as it was, in effect strapless).

Honestly, before I found that dress I was ready to wear a white suit just to be able to cover my shoulders. Everything was either strapless or trying to bring the sexy back in other ways.

rubyrubyruby Mon 11-Oct-10 19:37:23

.....perhaps I should ask the MN jury before I order mine


Miasma Mon 11-Oct-10 19:40:01

I had a halterneck dress when I got married in May.

Strapless dresses looked hideous on me.


PosieParker Mon 11-Oct-10 19:41:23

I have a wedding dress I had made in china but never wore, it's an 8-10 and has thick straps... I really should sell it.

Well I am ready for a flaming but my wedding is next June, have just added pic of me in my dress when I tried it on. i personally love it

bearing in mind I had no shoes on either

Scaltini Mon 11-Oct-10 19:46:40

One of my closest friends was fairly large when she got married, in particular she had v large arms.

However, she wore a strapless dress and looked beautiful, who knew a wedding dress could be so flattering!!!

I think YABU.

Maren - I wanted something like that...

I've uploaded a picture of my 'solution' to my profile. Still look scrawny round the chest area mind you.

The entire ensemble is for sale, if anyone wants it.

marenmj - I haven't looked and don't care. I have to have it!! You look beautiful in your pic. So chic and pretty and elegant.

TLE I don't think anyone will flame you. Your dress is not to my taste but as you say you love it and that's what matters at the end of the day.

MissMarjorie - love your 'solution'. You look stunning. And also you look very much like her off of Dexter.

PosieParker Mon 11-Oct-10 19:53:47 have no arm issues!! Lovely, get the right underwear though(www.max cleavage do loads of solution stuff).


tassisssss Mon 11-Oct-10 19:54:04

I think brides should wear what you want.

personally though i adore sleeves on dresses and despite being a fairly skinny size 12 I HATE wearing strapless dresses! I think it may be because I'm nearly 6 foot with not enough boobs for my height...dunno, but don't like. Actually I don't even love them on others, love pretty sleeves!

Miasma Mon 11-Oct-10 19:54:40

Go on then if we're swapping pictures

MissMarjorie I love your bolero !

muggglewump Mon 11-Oct-10 19:55:53

YANBU, but that's true of any outfit that doesn't flatter you.

I think perhaps brides think they have to wear one of those identikit dresses?

EdgarAllInPink Mon 11-Oct-10 19:57:14

see my profile for my SIL and friend - both had sleeves - SIl's dark green dress was amazing but doesn't show well in the photo. My friends was very well fitting- i think this is part of the problem with people buying off-the-peg dresses - if you re going to wear sleeveless it needs to fit!

DD had a cute dress too.

I wore an off the shoulder bodice dress - but can't find piccie. Mine wasburgundy - i think white is a problem colour for most peope to wear as it can be very forgiving and make things look larger than they are. My sleeveless dress looked good though (i had basically stopped eating afer DD was born in order for it to fit).

Cyclops Mon 11-Oct-10 19:57:47

My mum always says that years ago, a vicar wouldn't have married a bride wearing a dress that exposed so much flesh!! Bridal gown fashions change like everything else - it'll be all lace and full-length sleeves in 10-20yrs time grin

Posie - i had no bra on in that pic I opened dress and put it on to see what it looked like. So yes the right underwear is definatly needed.

I am a size 16 so it goes to show.

lilystyles Mon 11-Oct-10 19:59:35

I think it can look nice and voluptuos... her groom obviously finds her attractive which is teh main thing!!!!!

I find it very annoying that all wedding dresses are strapless. Not because I dislike strapless but because I (think I) look good in strapless, but if I were to get married anytime soon it would just look as if I was mindlessly following the trend - oh look anohter strapless dress.

MrsChemist Mon 11-Oct-10 20:01:19

MissMarjori - That's very similar to what I spent ages looking for. I went for the strapless in the end because whilst I did fall in love with the dress, there really wasn't any other option but strapless.

I think I looked nice, though I remember feeling quite exposed when I first put it on, on the day.

fluffles Mon 11-Oct-10 20:03:51

haven't read to the end of the thread but i got married at the weekend and this is exactly why i didn't wear a 'bridal' dress - i had an old fashioned 1940s dress, suited me, not some industrries 'ideal' bride.

YANBU - some brides should not choose strapless wedding dresses because it won't wuit them (not necessaarily a direct correlation with size).

MrsChemist Mon 11-Oct-10 20:04:44

I also didn't have a bra. I left it too late to get one, and couldn't afford it blush
I don't think anyone noticed though.

They'd notice if I pulled the same trick now [saggy post-child boobs emoticon] sad

piesey Mon 11-Oct-10 20:04:55

I wore a strapless dress for my wedding - made for me by my sister. It was beautiful and properly fitted - I chose that syle because it suited me.

I do agree that strapless dresses are not for everyone, just like other styles don't suit everyone. I don't suit halternecks for example - my shoulders look huge!

There isn't a lot of choice out there though - not many with sleeves or straps. A couple of friends have found lovely vintage dresses which have sleeves.

My SIL has such a thing about strapless dresses she literally hates them. She told me that strapless dresses are 'common and horrible'. This was just after I got married in one. hmm However, she is very flat chested and that style really wouldn't suit her. Still not sure why she has such a thing against them though!

InMyPrime Mon 11-Oct-10 20:05:47

Now that I think about it, it is true that strapless dresses predominate at the moment in bridal wear and it's a difficult look to carry off so I don't think YABU.

From my point of view, I had a very traditional wedding in a Catholic church so strapless wasn't a look I wanted to go for. Especially since my two uncles were the priests celebrating the Mass and one of them would rival Ratzinger for his hardline celibate theologian-type views. Unfortunately the dress I liked best after trying on many was ... strapless! But I asked the woman who owned the shop to alter it by adding sort of 'capped' sleeves that were just enough to cover my shoulders. She made them from the same organza material to match the skirt of the dress so it all worked. I do think if you are choosing to get married in a traditional ceremony you should try to look more 'traditional', not like you wandered in straight from your hen party. Obviously if you're having a more relaxed wedding and don't have religious loons in your family like me, then strapless might be a more viable option...

fluffles As a vintage fan that sounds lovely. Have you any pics? <nosey beggar emoticon>

Bunny - thankyou, but I am nowhere near that pretty!

WRT the bolero, I was talking to the alterations lady bemoaning the lack of dresses with sleeves and she just said casually that if I fancied lace to cover my arms, she'd make me something. And she made that.

grin What I ought to upload is a picture of me at a tarts and vicars party wearing everything but the dress. blush

fluffles Mon 11-Oct-10 20:13:23

no pics today. sorry. wedding was only two days ago!

Georgimama Mon 11-Oct-10 20:18:17

I got married nearly ten years ago and the strapless thing was starting then. Now there seems to be nothing but. I particularly hate those corsets with the actual underwire around the boob so you basically look like you forgot to put your top on.

I desperately wanted a wedding dress like [[ 0/54G79r0AlZI/s1600/2010-05-06--WeddingDressFront- -KensingtonPalace.jpg&imgrefurl=http://orderofsple g-dresses-6-hrh.html&h=453&w=284&sz=16&tbnid=zaOJD P_S7ptU5M:&tbnh=284&tbnw=178&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dpr incess%2Bmargaret%2Bwedding%2Bdress&zoom=1&q=princ ess+margaret+wedding+dress&hl=en&usg=__NnyXN09z1Rr Lmtz6R2mD5cGcqHE=&sa=X&ei=ZmGzTK-4DZ6g4QbPxKX1Bg&v ed=0CB0Q9QEwAA ]]Princess Margaret's but could I afford one, Christ no. In the end I settled for a sleeveless job with a square neckline. It was like ductImages/LadyRoiImage/8499.jpgthis

Georgimama Mon 11-Oct-10 20:19:15

Well that didn't work, did it? Hmmph.

You can google Princess Margaret's wedding dress.

nickytwotimes Mon 11-Oct-10 20:20:00


CMOTdibbler Mon 11-Oct-10 20:27:37

yanbu - my new sil had a strapless, corsetted dress, and I think she would have cried if she had seen her back view - overhang and a back cleavage.

I don't like me in strapless - and had a longsleeved dress for my wedding

PosieParker Mon 11-Oct-10 20:37:29

TLE....I didn't notice whether you did or didn't, I'm not that outspoken!!!

And I really think some women don't have arm issues no matter what dress size they are!!

Fluffles.....we have a right to view said dress, far far too curious now!!!

Littlefish Mon 11-Oct-10 20:40:00

I wore a long-sleeved dress too! It was absolutely beautiful with a low 50s neckline.

LOL Posie.

I look awful in halter neck dresses and sleeves as my shoulders are 18" wide...DS1 was only 17" at birth blush

PosieParker Mon 11-Oct-10 20:45:20

I am quite little but have the arms of a 50 year old 20 stone woman!!

Suncottage Mon 11-Oct-10 20:56:29

My SIL's both had a bodice style gown. One looked beautiful with lovely, shapely shoulders and great arms.

The other was spilling out on all sides and looked frumpy and it just did not work.

My friend got married for the first time at 42 and had to hire a dressmaker to make her gown because all she could find in the shops was a bodice/strapless/off the shoulder.

She chose a full length/full sleeved gown that the dressmaker designed for her and her shape.

Chose what suits you and not what is in fashion

Mumcentreplus Mon 11-Oct-10 20:59:29

All brides look beautiful..END grin

Galena Mon 11-Oct-10 21:00:35

YANBU. My dad is a minister. He finds it difficult at some weddings because when the bride and groom are kneeling in front of him and she has a strapless dress but not much... filling, he doesn't know where to look! He tends to keep looking straight ahead, rather than straight down her bodice!

On the other hand, YABU if it's really all that's available at a reasonable cost these days. My mum made my dress with little sleeves. She's a star!

Suncottage Mon 11-Oct-10 21:03:11


You are right - all brides are beautiful!

As are all new born babies grin

thesecondcoming Mon 11-Oct-10 21:10:59

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Georgimama Mon 11-Oct-10 21:16:01

I thought DS was beautiful when he was born. Now I think he looked like one of those troll dolls.

Maisiethemorningsidecat Mon 11-Oct-10 21:19:13

I was at a wedding recently where the bride did not, by any stretch of the imagination, look beautiful - she looked exactly like a beach ball squeezed into a corset and wearing too much fake tan would look like.

All my babies have been beautiful at the time wink, but dear god, some of the others on the wards - I'd have sent them back

diddl Mon 11-Oct-10 21:21:07

I think very few women look nice in strapless dresses tbh.

Just spaghetti straps would look so much better imo.

sausagelover Mon 11-Oct-10 21:22:42

I also found that most of the wedding dress styles were strapless when I was dress searching a couple of years ago. So I found a dress that I liked but was strapless and had straps added, not shoestring ones - about 2 inches thick.

Mumi Mon 11-Oct-10 21:26:53

Strapless is such a hard look to pull off. I would look like I'd just come out of the bath in my towel grin

Suncottage - "Chose what suits you and not what is in fashion" - spot on.
The strapless wedding dress is to the noughties as mountains of lace was to the 80s.

expatinscotland Mon 11-Oct-10 21:27:17

I last wore a strapless gown when I was 18, a UK size 6 and a ballet dancer.

I pulled it off.

It's like jeggings. An 18-year-old size 6 or 6-foot-tall under 25 are about the only ones who can pull it off.

Hire someone to make another design. It doesn't cost that much.

thesecondcoming Mon 11-Oct-10 21:34:37

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

5DollarShake Mon 11-Oct-10 21:35:36


People can wear whatever they like - live and let live and all that. But you can't stop people from thinking hmm however much you might want to!

marenmj Mon 11-Oct-10 21:36:30

Thank you! Bunny, when I was looking they were about 3K shock

I had to source mine at the last minute, less than two months before the day in a town where I knew no one, because we had moved overseas. I would have loved to have the time for the shop to make adjustments, but as it was I paid a bit to another seamstress to take up the hem, put on my best slip, and prayed grin. I even made all my jewelry/veil because I was frustrated at looking for what I wanted.

Too bad really, the lacy dresses that she does are gorgeous. Jenny Packham also does lovely dresses that are unusual, but again, unless you can get the sample sale and happen to fit the sizes they have on the rack they are very pricey and IMO not worth it.

minxofmancunia Mon 11-Oct-10 21:39:40


so boring and identikit these days. Apart from me every wedding I've been it's been strapless, hair up, a few tendrils, fake tan. I went for straps, long loose hair and pale and interesting wink.

And it really doesn't suit most people which is a shame. I've seen a few brides who don't look that great tbh, they would have been better off wearing a different style.

I know I don't suit strapless, my neck's too long (giraffe effect) and my shoulders are bread for my frame, and my boobs are too big. i wouldn't have wanted to look like a triangle.

NestaFiesta Mon 11-Oct-10 22:01:55

To me it beggars belief tht so many women want sleeves and so few designers give them to us! I ended up buying a wedding dress I didn't love and and it was FIVE sizes too big and needed taking in massively. This was because it was the only one with sleeves that I came across.

Can't designers and manufacturers stop wanking out princess strapless type dresses that often look the bloody same and start giving woman what they want? Dresses with sleeves will fly off the shelves. Why can't they get it?

(By the way. no offence to you brides who got married in strapless dresses, I'm sure you all looked lovely).

HollyGoHeavily Mon 11-Oct-10 22:05:39

For something a little bit different I loved Circa Vintage Brides.

Beautiful, unusual and very classy....

Holly Those dresses are swoonsome.

Particularly love Marilyn and Martha. I'm a very 50's kinda gal grin.

minxofmancunia Mon 11-Oct-10 22:35:59

I LOVE Bianca! would def have gone for that

A1980 Mon 11-Oct-10 22:36:01

I had that problem too. I didn't have the arms for it and I wanted to be covered up. I opted for one that came with a bolero to cover my arms as there is precious little choice other than strapless these days.

Also I don't think people realise that when you sit behind a table after the wedding, you look as if you're wearing a white bath towel. It's very boring.

Bianca is fab! As long as you have beestings.

LtEveDallas Mon 11-Oct-10 22:44:54

I'm a size 14 but with bloody enormous arms, strapless looks awful on me, as do spaghetti straps. When I was getting married I searched bloody everywhere for a dress and was tearing my hair out - I also had the 'not in your size' shite.

Finally found a dress in a back street type shop, and bloody hell it was perfect, square neckline, chiffon sleeves and cut under the bust. This was a tiny little shop, no big names, run by a single lady on her own. I cried when I first put it on, mum cried at the final fitting and DH cried as I walked down the aisle!

More brides should have that chance, and it's a bloody shame there isn't more available.

pluperfect Tue 12-Oct-10 00:19:07

The problem with availability of different styles could be solved if more people just decided not to wear white or cream.

I got married in a pale colour, because I knew I looked bloody awful in white or cream. Marvellous decision aesthetically, and can be great on costs, as well: everything with the W word on it costs a tonne more!

onmyfeet Tue 12-Oct-10 04:14:35

I was looking at strapless gowns in a Bridal magazine when planning my marriage, and my dh- to- be said he didn't like them. I was surprised, but he said a bridal gown should be modest. It was a side of him I did not realize existed. I was very slim back then,(2 sizes ago) and could have carried it off, other than feeling self conscious about my lack of chest. We ended up doing a registry office wedding and I didn't wear a gown, but a suit.

I do think curvy woman can look attractive in a strapless gown if it is a well fitted gown, and not really scanty. If it is tight and emphasized rolls, and the breasts are the first thing(s) you see, then it probably isn't a good choice.
My mum had her gown custom made, it was a simple satin ivory sheath and beautiful. Her figure was all it needed to make it look nice, think Audrey Hepburn.

I also do not think strapless looks good on a really voluptuous woman, too sexy looking, save that for the honey moon clothing and wedding night lingerie.
Dh has worn off on me

diddl Tue 12-Oct-10 05:08:52

I think the trouble with strapless is, to feel "safe" in it it´s either pushing everything out the top or flattening & pulling everything down to the waist.

3thumbedwitch Tue 12-Oct-10 05:28:54

My wedding dress had sleeves. Got married in 2007 but had bought the dress in 1994 (when sleeves were still fashionable). I do not have the figure for strapless dresses - no waist and small boobs so they don't look great on me. I can do spaghetti straps but I need a big skirt to give me a waist - any kind of shift dress is a no no.

Anyway - the dress I had bought in 1994 was perfect for me then (even though I never got to wear it then) and perfect for me in 2007 as well (although I needed it let out a bit to accommodate my 4m bump!)

Mine was strapless, but empire waisted, so not identikit a line style, more slutty pride & prejudice style grin

Looked fab & only £100 from monsoon.

merryberry Tue 12-Oct-10 08:11:22

wow you lot are just jealous, anyone can wear strapless! just accessorize right!

AlpinePony Tue 12-Oct-10 08:19:31

YANBU - this is why I'm only friends with slim and attractive women.

jalopy Tue 12-Oct-10 08:22:53

Yes agree. Strapless bridal gowns look like modified bath towels with frills.

3thumbedwitch Tue 12-Oct-10 08:25:35

merry - was about to be rude to you til I clicked on your link! grin

HowsTheSerenity Tue 12-Oct-10 09:02:23

As long as you are happy in your dress then that is the most important thing. However, it seems that the strapless dress is becoming a uniform almost. It is the only dress out there.

twopeople Tue 12-Oct-10 09:09:44

Message withdrawn

thesecondcoming Tue 12-Oct-10 09:24:44

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FindingMyMojo Tue 12-Oct-10 09:42:56

YANBU however it does seem whenever I've looked that 95% of wedding dresses out there are strapless.

MintyMoo Tue 12-Oct-10 09:51:36

I want to blind my guests with bright colours as I look awful in white, now just got to convince DP that not wearing white is ok and that his Granny won't think I'm loose morally :D

(expensive, will never have £2k plus to have one custom made but at least you can design your own and have straps, or a jacket/cloak)

PosieComeHereMyPreciousParker Tue 12-Oct-10 09:54:13

I had mine made in China, always worth looking on ebay for a tailor!!

VivClicquot Tue 12-Oct-10 09:57:25

Mine was strapless and quite meringue-y and if I do say so myself, I looked fucking ace. grin

(And to be fair, when I tried on dresses with sleeves or straps, they made me look more broad so <<shrugs>>)

posie thats where mine came from as well grin

rubyrubyruby Tue 12-Oct-10 10:16:27

Posie - as I am planning to get married next year I would be grateful if you could 'check out' my arms on Friday before I go dress shopping next week!grin

PosieComeHereMyPreciousParker Tue 12-Oct-10 10:18:38


maighdlin Tue 12-Oct-10 11:59:07

im a large lady and got a strapless dress for my wedding day, although i did get the dress maker to put in halterneck straps to break up my shoulders and she had done it that i didn't need a bra. I am G cup so thats impressive work. She also made a jacket bolero thing but i couldn't wear it on the day cos it was roasting. I felt gorgeous but looking at the photos all i can see is my bingo wings. I wish there had of been more than one dress with sleeves in the shops. (that one dress was lovely and quite edwardian but just not me)

BaggedandTagged Tue 12-Oct-10 12:08:47

Strapless can work on a fuller/ bustier figure, but the problem is that many of them sit too low- they need to be under your armpits basically so that you avoid boob overspill and the squishing of fat between boob and armpit

Good underwear also vital- ideally a hip length corset so that the support for boobs comes from underneath- much more effective than a strapless bra

Toned arms/ shoulders also a consideration. Commit to the press up grin

expatinscotland Tue 12-Oct-10 12:11:54

Strapless doesn't work on fuller figures/bustier ones because of the bingo wings/cooked ham arms.


I speak as one who wouldn't wear strapless because, well, my arms.

It looked naked. Every time. Looks like the bride forgot her top.

I think styles in Europe are different because a lot of churches there don't allow bare shoulders.

An excellent policy, IMO.

bambinobambino Tue 12-Oct-10 12:13:52

Maybe, maybe not.

I was a size 14 when I got married and, depsite rigorous personal training, was still ample of upper arm.

I couldn't find a dress with sleeves (and it was a winter wedding)

I had a strapless dress and then got a second mortgage to have a jacket to go over the top (it was a beautiful 60's style backwards fastening one). It was the favourite part of my wedding outfit.

I took the jacket off for the dinner and evening though, hopefully by that point everyone was so pissed they didn't notive my arms grin

But she obviously feels beautiful on her wedding day and you are being more than a bitch to imply that she didn't.

Also, she's getting married to a man who loves her, and presumably her arms too! They are hardly likely to come as a shock!

expatinscotland Tue 12-Oct-10 12:15:23
GetOrfMoiLand Tue 12-Oct-10 12:21:03


I said something very similar on another thread a couple of weeks ago.

VERY few people suit strapless dresses. It is because everyone in the land has a pouchy bit of armpit fat which gathers in attractive skin folds and is visible in every photograph. So yes wear strapless dresses to a party, but not to your own wedding where your unsighlty skin folds will be visible to all those who look at your wedding album in future (and to prevent bastards like me from smirking slightly at the sight of it).

I am 6 foot and have really nice shoulders and arms, but I would never wear a straples dress for this reason. And a pashiman doesbn't help, it just makes you look like a 90s throwback.

Buy a dress with SLEEVES fgs.

Judgemental, much.

diddl Tue 12-Oct-10 12:23:46

I agree with expat.

BalloonSlayer Tue 12-Oct-10 12:48:33

I would normally agree that strapless on a larger lady with tats looks awful but I think
the lady with the turqouise/black dress and little top hat looks fab. You have to scroll down a bit as I can't link directly to her. She's the one in the snow.

bunkers Tue 12-Oct-10 12:51:04

Couldn't agree more OP. My wedding was perfect except for my choice of dress, which I now deeply regret. Not only was it strapless, but also had a sweetheart neckline. I was a 12/14 at the time and had a lot of extra flesh. The photos of us cutting the cake and my heaving boobs all squashed together.... eughh. It looked like a Carry On film!

NerdyFace Tue 12-Oct-10 13:01:35

My sister and all her bridesmaids at her wedding, had on these Ghastly like Claret Red Velvet dresses on.

The worst thing were all the tattoo's over their backs which just made everything look so cheap.

There is also the fact she kept interupting the Vicar and making jokes which made her wedding a fucking state..My problems with my sister are for another thread mind you..

diddl Tue 12-Oct-10 13:01:42

I think that that "Uptight" site shows how strapless doesn´t really suit anyone.

grapeandlemon Tue 12-Oct-10 13:03:26

Haven't read every post but I have to agree with OP expat here.

It seems like EVERY bride I see wears strapless and they are only suited to a very small number of Women. You don't only have to be very slim in the arm and upper body but have to have very narrow shoulders to pull this look off. It is for the delicate framed only.

Boy some dressmakers/ shop assistants have not been honest to some brides out there because there are so many fuller figured Women out there who look squashed half naked and too exposed in these wedding gowns.

I think that they show far too much flesh for a bride and the boobs pushed up and exposed decollete is totally inappropriate. It looks too...hmmm victorian prostitute? I chose a high bateau neck gown with a little back exposed under my veil. People go on for ages about my dress and how classic it was and how lovely it looked to see a more modest look for a bride.

diddl Tue 12-Oct-10 13:09:45

There are a few strapless dresses here & tbh I don´t think that any of them look very nice.

grapeandlemon Tue 12-Oct-10 13:19:48

How beautiful does Isabella Orsini look in that link you posted diddl. wow - classic, no flesh or cleavage popping out all over the place, radiant, delicate and just exactly like a bride should look imo.

diddl Tue 12-Oct-10 13:23:43

I love this

How much better it looks (imo) than the strapless ones.

I think strapless looks unfinished.

Ah well, mine was strapless, and i was a size 14 and had rather large boobs.

I loved my dress, and still do now, it was quite a high strapless too,well it was on me anyway.

So, I do not really care, loved it and still love it now.

It was this one

bambinobambino Tue 12-Oct-10 13:37:43

I've just been looking at my wedding pictures again grin

Still very glad about the jacket, however my strapless dress was VERY high. Almost higher at the middle than the edges so there was no cleavage on show.

Makes a difference I think.

expatinscotland Tue 12-Oct-10 14:21:03

those de la Renta gowns are gorgeous, diddl. so classy.

i don't think that gal looks fab, Balloon. i think she looks like every other strapless wedding dress i've seen even on models, like she forgot to put her dress on over her underwear.

imo, no one looks good with that much of their top on display at their wedding.

AbsofCroissant Tue 12-Oct-10 14:29:57

Oooh, I was just thinking about starting a MN thread on this topic.

Why why why are so few wedding dresses, and bridesmaid dresses, designed without straps or sleeves? Are sleeves evil? Do straps try to strangle you, mid-wedding? I don't get it.

Very few people look good in strapless gowns, but the majority of gowns are designed in this way.

When I get married, I'm hoping to be able to find something like this or this

Not that I'm picky or have expensive tastes or anything ...

InMyPrime Tue 12-Oct-10 14:36:33

That's interesting, diddl, that's the exact style of dress that my wedding dress was altered into. It was strapless (see earlier post) but the sleeves I had added on were like the sleeves in the gown you link to.

Alteration's always an option if there isn't s sufficient range of non-strapless dresses

grapeandlemon Tue 12-Oct-10 14:51:20

Grace Kelly was the most beautiful bride in the history of brides ever. grin I was married in a v hot climate or I would have gone for chantilly lace as well.

Oh I want to do it all again!

dinkystinky Tue 12-Oct-10 16:18:09

OP - YANBU. I had a strapless wedding dress but had a matching shrug (which covered arms and made a lovely diamond neckline with the dress) for the day and went strapless in the evening - and in preparation for it I spent 3 months working out hard at the gym to have lovely toned arms and a fab toned upper back. Am pleased to say that there was no back fat or ham arm to be seen in my wedding photos. If I hadnt got the results I wanted, I'd have kept the shrug on all evening too. If you're going to commit to a strapless dress you need to make sure you do the ground work to ensure it looks good on you.

hmm...nah, could not be bothered with "groundwork"! Still I think I looked nice in my dress, or as nice as it was possible to look, and if anyone at my wedding thought different, well tough! They matter not one jot to me, dh thought I looked lovely.

And anyway, after all the free wine and booze we had flowing, I bet even those people thought I looked lovely! grin

HecateQueenOfWitches Tue 12-Oct-10 18:36:13

the problem with strapless is that it creates huge bulges at the back. Not a nice look. At all.

when the back has bigger cleavage than the front it is not a great look!

There is nothing wrong with dressing to flatter your figure - and being realistic about what that means.

Bue Tue 12-Oct-10 19:39:28

Let us not forget that strapless dresses can look just as bad on thin women. They look awful on me because I've got a rather bony chest. I went to a wedding where the bride looked positively skeletal in her strapless gown, with disappearing boobs to boot.

diddl, I love that Christos gown! Their dresses are gorgeous.

marenmj Tue 12-Oct-10 20:23:05

BalloonSlayer - on the uptight-clothing turquoise dress, I have always loved the embroidered train on that dress and actually had it already saved in my embroidery patterns file.

expatinscotland Tue 12-Oct-10 20:42:26

True, Bue. Which is why I think they're just a bad idea in general for wedding dresses.

There's on on Wedding House right now. Designer tried to make her a lovely shrug, but there she is with her big ol' cooked ham arms out.

It doesn't look good. She might think she looks amazing, but to the rest of the world, she looks like a main sail in Force 7 gale.

rubyrubyruby Tue 12-Oct-10 21:20:09

PMSL expat grin

When I'm shopping for dresses next week your words will be running through my head!

forehead Tue 12-Oct-10 22:30:50

I think strapless dresses are dull and boring.

brassband Tue 12-Oct-10 23:08:35

YABU and mean spirited

onmyfeet Wed 13-Oct-10 05:04:18

AbsofCroissant, those are beautiful gowns. I love the one you are contemplating, so lovely.
It is lace without being "fussy".

elsiepiddock Sun 17-Oct-10 20:25:46

Agree with expat!

Went to a colleague's wedding last Sat and she had the strapless dress uniform, complete with ham arms and back overhang.

NOT a good look. Being a bride doesn't automatically make you look gorgeous.

amandine07 Mon 02-Jan-12 11:32:04

Ooooh this thread is interesting!

My close friend is getting married in the autumn, we were discussing wedding dresses & she is adamant about not wearing a strapless dress, she has an, ahem, very strong dislike of them.

She is tall (5 ft 10) and slim (size 8-10) with a reasonable bust so I think she would look gorgeous in strapless. Just goes to show that one style does not suit/appeal to all, despite their figure.

Just having a think back to all the weddings I have attended since summer 2009- all 5 of the brides wore a strapless wedding dress...all but one of them were church weddings. 3 in England, 2 in France/Italy.

Having a snoop browse on FB, most of the brides are in strapless too...I agree with the poster about brides being too skinny for strapless.
One girl I know from primary school had an exquisite looking strapless wedding gown in her pictures on FB, but her chest looked so bony and the dress kind of looked too small to cover her top half, as if it finished too low down and her minimal cleavage got all squished down.

I am yet to be married & I am taking notes...wink

amandine07 Mon 02-Jan-12 11:35:19

I have to add- damn that K-Middy & her wedding gown last year...she nicked my idea!

That is the kind of bodice style I would love to have- is so Grace Kelly and beautifully elegent IMO.

Still, won't stop me wearing a dress like that one day!smile

edam Mon 02-Jan-12 11:37:54

I think the fashion for sleeveless dresses (not just wedding dresses) is an evil ploy by manufacturers to get us to spend more because many people will end up buying a shrug or cardigan as well.

MarianneM Mon 02-Jan-12 11:46:18


I agree, and it is so dull that EVERYONE has to wear the same style of wedding dress these days...I also think that the standard white wedding dress doesn't actually suit that many people without the looks and figure to carry it off. People should think what looks good on them, not what is the "done thing".

Nothing wrong with my arms, but I definitely wanted a wedding dress with sleeves, and found a beautiful blue vintage dress and veil that were gorgeous. I remember looking for a dress and seeing these women trying on dresses that looked HIDEOUS on them...

To2012AndBeyondTheLimits Mon 02-Jan-12 11:49:55

Aww, my DS was only a week old when this thread was started... <wells up>

LeQueen Mon 02-Jan-12 11:51:11

I am always stunned at the sheer number of brides who clearly haven't looked in a mirror properly, and are clearly deluded that they look lovely...

When trying on wedding dresses there were several that made me look like shit, so obviously I didn't buy them.

My wedding dress was just a corset bodice, so strapless, but I knew it would flatter me because I have good shoulders and arms...but I also know my tummy is rubbish, so I chose a dress with full ballgown skirts that hid my flabby tum smile

To2012AndBeyondTheLimits Mon 02-Jan-12 11:51:42

My mums dress was like Kate Middletons when she married my dad. Except for the neckline. I always wanted one like that.
My wedding dress was knee length and had short sleeves. It was white though (well, you know, ivory smile)

lurkinginthebackground Mon 02-Jan-12 12:15:24

I tend to agree with the op.
Very few brides suit a strapless dress, infact most would look better in another style.
I think for a strapless dresss to work you have to have a decent bust but be very toned on your upper body. Preferably with a slightly defined collar bone and toned or slim arms.
I also am a lover of sleeves of some sort on a wedding dress. It helps to balance out an imperfect shape. I was so glad that Catherine Middleton did no go down the strapless route.

whackamole Mon 02-Jan-12 14:30:44

YANBU. I am getting married in June, and luckily have found my strapped dress already!

However, I am getting it from an online designer (who I am visiting for a fitting in a couple of weeks) and there are 3 dresses that are not strapless - and about 40 that are.

I had sleeves on my dress which looked lovely, but the evening before the wedding my grandmother decided to "look" at the dress and somehow ripped one of the sleeves - the only thing we could do was removed the it was destroyed i have no idea to this day how!.
I think i looked "ok" but it looked like a strapless dress obviously which is what i hd tried to avoid. luckily i was never princessy abotu the dress but it would have looked alot better with the sleeve still attached. Lets say in the picture i have shoulder fat and leave it at that.

diddl Mon 02-Jan-12 14:49:20

Thought I recognised this thread-it´s from Oct 2010!

Gincognito Mon 02-Jan-12 14:52:54


And breathe.

Haziedoll Mon 02-Jan-12 14:54:37

YABU. You sound a bit snobby it's up to the individual and I don't see a problem with strapless dresses in churches.

I wouldn't personally choose a strapless dress as I don't like my arms, even at size 8 I felt they were big. I had to wear a strapless dress when I was a bridesmaid, I would rather have worn something else but the bride loved strapless dresses.

SiamoNellaMerda Mon 02-Jan-12 15:02:40

amandine07 ~ and you bumped this old thread because.....?

amandine07 Mon 02-Jan-12 15:29:43

I was having an in-depth, heated discussion with a good friend who is getting married & currently trying to decide on a style of wedding dress...she has an irrational hatred of strapless dresses...decided to look on here if there were any debates re these types of dresses et voila.

Does it matter that it's an old thread? I didn't see the original date anyway before I posted. We were debating this very subject, er, it's relevant to me in my little world grin

diddl Mon 02-Jan-12 15:49:55

TBH, I think that most women who think that they are the exception that suits strapless are mistaken.

Unless you are very narrow, I think that they make you look very broad shouldered & if not very slim, there is almost always "back fat".

I don´t think that a hatred of strapless dresses is irrational as there are very few people who can wear them-and look good.

Haziedoll Mon 02-Jan-12 16:12:47

I have been to one wedding where the bride looked stunning wearing a strapless dress.

As a bra fitter, I cannot wait for the strapless wedding/evening dress fashion to subside. When someone whips out their J/K cups and says 'I need a strapless bra for my fitting tomorrow I could scream. Manufacturers have just about managed to get some that work up to a H and even then it doesn't work for everyone.
I am good but I am not a fucking magician!
If you have big norks, please sort your undies FIRST <<and breathe>>

TamIAm Mon 02-Jan-12 16:34:32

Yes, YABU.

Don't like strapless dresses? Don't wear them.

It's not appropriate to police other women's clothing. It's downright rude in fact.

emsyj Mon 02-Jan-12 16:53:36

It is true that it is quite hard (even now, over a year later since this thread was started) to find non-strapless dresses. I run a bridal dress business from home and my most-purchased style has short sleeves. I get the most enquiries from brides looking for a dress with sleeves and hardly anyone even tries on the strapless styles to be honest (I only sell 4 strapless styles, as compared with 12 that have straps/sleeves). Someone, somewhere is missing a trick - but I'm not complaining! grin

UnexpectedOrangeInMyStocking Mon 02-Jan-12 17:37:50

do you have any idea how hard it is to find a DRESS that looks good on a fat girl?

I went for the strapless corset/skirt two-piece with a shawl because it was impossible to find a corseted dress with sleeves!

Bumblequeen Mon 02-Jan-12 19:54:38

I think strapless dresses suit some brides. However I do find them a little predictable. After seeing bride after bride wear strapless dresses I chose a dress with straps as I wanted a different look.

forehead Mon 02-Jan-12 19:57:16

Can't stand strapless dresses. They are so boring.

tethersend Mon 02-Jan-12 19:58:19

Strapless dresses are always wrong on everybody.

oikopolis Mon 02-Jan-12 20:13:26

i would have dearly loved to have a non-strapless wedding dress but when I married, they were as rare as hen's teeth, and I couldn't afford anything but an off-the-rack frock sadly. I looked dreadful in mine, if i'm honest.

Strapless dresses are almost universally unflattering, make underwear choice difficult, and usually fit terribly even when they're custom-made. I can't understand the appeal at all.

To each their own, etc., obviously. But they so often look awful, it's a shame they're so ubiquitous in bridal shops.

emsyj Mon 02-Jan-12 20:34:06

I have the misfortune of having a very bony chest, but big fat arms - so I look really odd in strapless. It is not a good look on me. I had my dress made in the end, it was so hard to find what I wanted (boat neck and cap sleeves).

AKMD Mon 02-Jan-12 21:05:11

Yes, this is an old thread but...

YANBU. Strapless dresses of any variety only look good on a small minority of women. When SIL was getting married I had a chat with the owner of the bridal salon her dress was from, who said that she despaired of women who insisted on buying dresses that didn't suit them, just because they were in a magazine or some such.

I wore a sleeveless dress with a bolero.

A1980 Mon 02-Jan-12 21:31:14

YANBU. It would take an uber slim figure to carry off a dress like that. Remember the trend of muffin tops: great big fat stomach spilling over a tight pair of jeans. Not giving a fuck what you look like in an item of clothing seems to have extended to weddings too

I for one don't have the body for it. My arms aren't toned enough and my breasts are largish: E cup so I'd look terrible in it.

However that's all that seems available these days. There are options though, I would wear a bolero with it to cover myself.

33goingon64 Mon 02-Jan-12 21:37:50

I didn't want a strapless dress purely because everyone else wears them and I was so bored with the look. I didn't want to look like everyone else. It was really hard to find one, but I succeeded in the end and found a v- neck sleeveless dress. It was the one that suited me best. Most women suit a v neck best I think. Of course you should be able to wear what you want but surely you should also wear what suits you?

perplexedpirate Mon 02-Jan-12 21:39:22

YANBU. I can't abide strapless wedding dresses. I think they can be quite inappropriate too in a religious setting.
Obviously, you can wear whatever you like to get married but people will comment on it, especially if you look like you've been upholstered.

lovelyladuree Mon 02-Jan-12 21:42:11

I'm hoping the lovely lace dress worn by the Duchess of Cambridge starts a new trend for covering up arms/boobs hmm

A1980 Mon 02-Jan-12 21:43:56

Also, it isn't just the vows bit you have to think about. What about the meal afterwards?

Those strapless wedding dresses are very boring when you're sat behind a table. It looks as though you're wrapped in a bath towel. Pretty sleeves or a bolerao looks so much nicer when you're sitting at a table.

ceebeegeebies Mon 02-Jan-12 21:56:22

I totally agree about strapless dresses - they suit so few people yet every bride insists on wearing one hmm When I got married 14 years ago, strapless dresses weren't fashionable so found a dress with sleeves fairly easily.

However, I know it is not a wedding dress but it is of a similar nature (top half anyway) - but I saw this photo earlier today and realised that even if you have very toned arms and are slim, strapless dresses still don't necessarily look right wink

TheBolter Mon 02-Jan-12 21:57:59

Rather ironically, there is only a small minority that suits strapless - if you're slightly padded, or even slightly scrawny, the style does nothing to flatter.

Even when you do have the body for it it's not the most flattering style. Being a tall, slender size 8, I could pretty much pick whatever I wanted when I chose my dress, but I still chose not to go strapless. It had a sweetheart neckline, a v back with buttons down it and actually flattered my arms and neckline more than strapless did as it served to accentuate my bone structure by 'framing' it.

I also think that strapless is the wrong kind of style for a wedding dress, somehow as I consider it a bit screechy and naff (awaits flaming). Also it's awkwardly uncomfortable unless it fits - clings - incredibly well. You only have to see the photo of Abby Crouch showing her nipple while flinging back her bouquet to be reminded of a considerable downside of wearing the strapless wedding dress.

TheBolter Mon 02-Jan-12 21:59:39

YY ceebee, Elliston needs a necklace or something to break up the flesh acreage.

Chynah Mon 02-Jan-12 22:12:24

I wanted a halterneck fishtail gown and could only find one that was exactly what I was after - bought it off the peg and took it to a decent tailor to get it fitted correctly - cheap and perfect!

SusanneLinder Tue 03-Jan-12 00:51:48

Thank god that there were hardly any strapless dresses when I got married 13 years ago. I dislike them, and think all the brides these days look like little clones.

Sorry, just my opinion.blush

Letchlady Tue 03-Jan-12 01:13:54

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RobinSparkles Tue 03-Jan-12 01:23:32

Well, I got married in a strapless dress and looked beautiful, so there!

RobinSparkles Tue 03-Jan-12 01:25:02

Gah, bloody hell, just noticed that the OP is from 2010!

confuddledDOTcom Tue 03-Jan-12 03:12:52

I'd hate to have a lot of the posters here at my wedding! Do you really go to a wedding and judge a bride by her choice of dress? She's probably been to many shops and tried on lots of dresses and this is the one that makes her feel special.

My dress will be burgundy and gold, not a drop of white anywhere near me, it makes me look ill. Anyone want to make something of that too?

TheBolter Tue 03-Jan-12 08:56:45

confudled, I'm all for not dressing in white, especially when getting married at a certain age or for the second time. Nothing to do with morals or anything (pot, kettle? grin) just because I think white wedding dresses look a bit twee and only the v young, i.e. under 35s can really get away with it.

TheBolter Tue 03-Jan-12 08:58:08

I I ever were to get married again, it would be in a fabulous Temperley number, whatever the colour it probably wouldn't be white!

diddl Tue 03-Jan-12 09:13:56

"My dress will be burgundy and gold, not a drop of white anywhere near me,"

Ah-but will it be strapless?wink

rooksby Tue 03-Jan-12 10:00:51

I blame the shops. They can't be feeding back to the manufacturers what people actually WANT. I went wedding dress shopping with a friend who wanted sleeves, and the way some of the shop assistants spoke to her you'd have thought she'd asked for a dress made of cheese or something. We went to four bridal shops and there were no sleeved dresses to try on! Berketex was particularly awesomely bad, the woman argued with my friend about her budget, put her in absolutely disgusting dresses she was obviously keen to shift (friend is whatever size their samples are, about a 10-12) and didn't have a clue what looked good.

In one independent shop I was waiting for friend to be stuffed into huge meringue (she tried it on for a joke but it looked ace!) and listened to the shop owner being a total and utter bitch to a woman who was about a size 18. She wanted sleeves, bitch woman said "in your size you can't be choosy" and squeezed her into a vile strapless thing with horrid maroon embroidery all over it. This girl looked awful and knew she did - "can't I have little sleeves added?" "NO" boomed horrid woman. I really hope she didn't order the dress sad

Heard at least four people plus my friend ask for sleeves.

My friend ended up with strapless from a sample sale - it was gorgeous but she only tried on one that wasn't, lovely halterneck in a sample sale which was unfortunately a bit too small.

I was really surprised, I thought they would treat you like a queen in bridal shops and that there'd be lots of choice. It's a lot of money and people are keen to look as good as possible. It does seem odd that on the day you are basically on your own photo shoot you are expected to wear something white and strapless - who would choose a white strapless party dress? Not many people. The assistants were just horrid, apart from the lady in Pronuptia who was older and really seemed to know her stuff. She pinned chiffon and lace to show how sleeves could look, advised my friend what would show off her figure best, and the dresses she suggested were lovely, even if some weren't my friend's taste.

I don't really like wedding dresses myself, if I do get married I'd like something vintage, not floor length and definitely not white! My friend recently got married in a lovely vintage dress, ivory, with short sleeves! Only cost her about £150 as well.

Me and DP walked past a hotel the other day and saw a lady having a cig, we assumed she was the bride and commented on how nice she looked (she was about 40, wearing long sleeved ivory shift dress to just above the knee). Then the bride came out sad she was a big girl with a huge bust, so the obligatory corset was spilling everywhere and due to the freezing weather she had the full corned beef look on her arms. Proper support under the bodice and a little shrug for the cold would have made all the difference, I hope she isn't disappointed by her photos as she looked so happy.

Ramble ramble zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz etc. Sorry! I love helping people choose clothes and would love to work in a bridal shop as long as there were some nice dresses to sell to people!

wahwahwah Tue 03-Jan-12 10:06:09

I would have worried that my boobs would have popped out. I have big ones then... Not sure where they went... I think the fat shifted to my bum!

VikingLady Tue 03-Jan-12 10:06:17

Surely as long as the bride and groom both think she looks good, everyone else can get knotted?

I carry a fair amount of weight, and wore a proper corset plus skirt, so strapless. I wore a wrap over the top for the day, which fastened so I didn't have to hold it in place - that was to save people the sight of too much back fat - my concession to other people. I had the hell of a cleavage, and a tiny waist (for me). My dh is a boob man, and his eyes nearly fell out - he had no idea in advance, and he couldn't take his eyes off me all day, and kept telling me how beautiful I was and how lucky he was. Which is exactly the result I was after.

He didn't notice the back fat, even when I took the wrap off. I don't really give a flying fuck what other people thought of my outfit - I picked it for him, as he picked his outfit for me (very goth, leather trenchcoat).

Oh, and the reason so many brides have problems with their strapless dresses and have to keep hoicking them up is they are badly made and badly fitted. I know a fair amount about dressmaking and tailoring, and was horrified at the exorbitant prices for the rubbish workmanship/fabrics charged by the main brands. Thin plastic boning makes it cheaper and easier for the manufacturers but it will not stand up to a full day of wear. And don't get me started on the cut...

I got quite angry at how much brides are ripped off, when I was shopping for my wedding.

guinealady Tue 03-Jan-12 10:12:04

I do think all the strapless dresses look a bit identikit - have seen some friends look lovely in them of course, that goes without saying - but I always feel a bit sad when I look at people's wedding photos and see the same old styles being trotted out.

I was looking for a dress with sleeves that was flattering as I'm having a winter wedding (and pregnant, but that's another story) and stumbled across the world of 'modesty dresses' in America - go have a google if you want a fright, plenty of dresses with lovely sleeves but because the aim is also to completely hide the cleavage, they have really unflattering necklines that just don't suit the rest of the dress. Quite terrifying. (Although a boat neck dress I always think is very attractive and that is one style where you can cover up arms and cleavage but still have some shoulder on display).

rooksby Tue 03-Jan-12 10:17:55

VikingLady I quite agree with you about the quality of a lot of the dresses - abysmal!

As you say, thin plastic boning won't do a lot and I think that's the main issue with strapless dresses on anyone with boobs that need support. The nasty nasty fabrics in the bridal shops really shocked me, I was expecting luxurious satins and lace, not scratchy crap that looks like it'd go up in flames at the thought of a match.

I also don't get why they don't cater to winter weddings more, people get married all year round! I feel the cold and was relieved to be pregnant so unable to be bridesmaid for a friend who married a couple of years back, I know she wouldn't have allowed a cardigan over the (strapless!) bridesmaid's dresses smile

VikingLady Tue 03-Jan-12 10:28:36

Not just the fabrics (and I was expecting nice-feeling stuff too), but quite often the stitching is already coming undone and are badly finished, if there are sleeves they are often not set properly so they look funny...

If I hadn't gone for the corset (£180), plus skirt (£90), I was looking into having something made. That would have cost around £600 to be made from scratch, including the steel boning so it could stand up to a full day. You just tell them it is a ball gown, not a wedding dress, since people often add a premium for the word "wedding". Still cheaper than most in the wedding shops!

AbsofCroissant Tue 03-Jan-12 10:33:48

Having just done the wedding dress shopping rounds, it is about 95% strapless, pooooouffy dresses. I fortunately found a gorgeous dress with a bateau neckline and sleeves and there was another dress in the store that I LOVED (but which wasn't suitable) which had a v neck. But, both were a few grand and they were the exception rather than the rule.

Hopefully though, with Kate Middleton having worn sleeves we'll be seeing the tail end of this particular trned.

emsyj Tue 03-Jan-12 10:40:40

No no no no - I want all the bridal shops to keep peddling the strapless look, it's great for my business!!! Don't let the secret out that lots of brides want sleeves/non-strapless!!!!! It's my niche dontcha know.

Haziedoll Tue 03-Jan-12 10:56:26

There is a trend for perfection which I find quite concerning.

Lots of people have said that they don't like to see women in strapless dresses because they don't like to see back fat or big arms. Perhaps the women wearing these dresses are focusing on the dresses plus points e.g smaller waist or good cleavage.

My wedding dress was similar to Pippa Middleton bridesmaids dress but made of lace. When I was discussing the type of dress styles I liked with friends so many friends said that I shouldn't look at straight dresses because I was too short. I disagreed my dress was the right one and when I tried it on I even had a groom tell me that it was the right dress. Claudia Schieffer would probably have done a better job of showing the dress off to it's perfection. But I'm not Claudia Schieffer and I wasn't striving for perfection, I wanted to look like a polished version of me and wear a dress that was in keeping with my usual style.

ViviPru Tue 03-Jan-12 11:01:38
ViviPru Tue 03-Jan-12 11:02:23

Emsyj website? Pm me?

AbsofCroissant Tue 03-Jan-12 11:07:28

Yes, emsyj - where are you based? could you Pm me too?

BandOMothers Tue 03-Jan-12 11:08:02

I used to work in a wedding dress shop and SO many brides went blind when it came to what looked nice. I lost count of girls who arrived and pointed at the type of mermaid dress that only a size 8 woman would look "right" in and insisted on strapless too....they'd look in the mirrors and only see the dress...not the woman somehow....

LeQueen Tue 03-Jan-12 11:12:51

"I'd hate to have a lot of the posters here at my wedding! Do you really go to a wedding and judge a bride by her choice of dress? She's probably been to many shops and tried on lots of dresses and this is the one that makes her feel special."

I don't necessarily judge the bride...but I have been to a fair few weddings and privately thought 'Oh my God, why didn't her friends tell her the dress was completely unflattering???'

It's fine if it makes her feel special doesn't mean that it actually flatters her though, or that anyone else is able to admire it, surely?

emsyj Tue 03-Jan-12 11:13:46

Have PMd you ViviPru ...

LeQueen Tue 03-Jan-12 11:22:50

I agree there are few women who truly suit a strapless dress. You have to have a tricky combination of decent cuppage, but with good shoulders and arms...

My dress was strapless, but it came with a very delicate shawl which actually enhanced the straplessness of my dress, in a clever way, by subtley drawing attention to, and framing, my shoulders and collar bone etc. So, a lot more flattering, than just wearing the dress without.

If you're quick there's two piccies on my profile, one with the shawl and one without. The dress looks so much better with the shawl, and I was annoyed the photographer didn't notice this and took so many shots with me not wearing the shawl angry

AbsofCroissant Tue 03-Jan-12 11:28:26

My SIL had one - looked amazing. She has great cleavage, great shoulders (not everyone does) and generally looked great.

My cousin also had - looked terrible and I don't know why she didn't go for a different neckline (her dress was made, so she could have had anything).

rooksby Tue 03-Jan-12 11:35:04

LeQueen your dress is lovely. It looks like it fit you perfectly and comes a lot higher up than many I've seen!

Getting married is not on the agenda at the moment but I have spent a long time this morning browsing dresses on the interweb sad if we ever get round to it I think I'm going to have one made, I am unlikely to get my bosom into genuine vintage (E/F cup non-pregnant, DD/E if I ever get back to a size 8).

LeQueen Tue 03-Jan-12 11:41:03

Ta rooksby It was an Ian Stuart, so probably a lot better designed and cut than most strapless frocks. I'm an F cup, so needed proper boning and support - but because the dress was so well made I didn't even need a bra smile

Have seen too many brides with ample cuppage wearing poorly fitted corset bodices with virtually no boning and support, and their boobs were somewhere down near their navels sad

ViviPru Tue 03-Jan-12 11:44:36

Love it, Emsyj

I feel like I have just seen Santa Claus after seeing LeQs photos. Not that you look like a fat red suited man, more in that this fantastical fantasy figure that I wasn't sure really even existed now all of a sudden has a human, earthly form....

bigkidsdidit Tue 03-Jan-12 11:48:50

Vivi if you're looking for a dress I got a GORGEOUS vintage, non-strapless one here

and it was under £200!

rooksby Tue 03-Jan-12 11:50:23

Ooh I saw Ian Stuart dresses on the Apprentice, they are lovely. F cups? That's miraculous cutting. Just goes to show, it's like when Tracey Emin had a breast reduction, I never realised she was so booby but that's what a wardrobe full of Viv etc can do for you (must get rich...)!

ViviPru Tue 03-Jan-12 11:52:13

Thanks for the link, bigkit. Sadly its not me who is looking for the dress [wenvy] (that's like fenvy, only with a veil instead of the santa hat) but 3 of my chums are so I'll forward that link - looks good and £200 is great value....

Oblomov Tue 03-Jan-12 12:05:40

I have a wedding dress, if anyone would like it for FREE. dress. It is shown in 4 pictures, 1277, 1277a,1277b, 1277c,1277d.
It is an Alfred Angelo 1277, strapless, comes with wrap aswell though. I think it may be a size 12, will have to check. I did not want a long train, so had it adjusted so it was all one length, and considering I am only 5'2'', this will limit the population who could also fit into to to about 0.0275%. grin. But if anyone wants it, just say the word.

Oblomov Tue 03-Jan-12 12:22:28

I do agree with Op though. I do still like my dress, but don't think it was THE most flattering thing for me.
But I agree with others, the choice for an alternative, is very poor.

diddl Tue 03-Jan-12 12:23:38

That´s a lovely dress-but I think I´d have to put straps on itblush

And I´m only 5ft-and my husband doesn´t want to marry me againsadgrin

LeQueen Tue 03-Jan-12 12:34:13

Vivi no, I do actually exist IRL and everything, honest grin

LeQueen Tue 03-Jan-12 12:36:53

rooksby Ian Stuart always wins wedding dress designer of the year, and it's easy to see why.

His dresses are staggeringly beautiful, and incredibly well cut and made. Usually very theatrical and quite sassy, but that's what I wanted...I didn't want to look bleddy demure and innocent oh no, not me grin

Sudaname Tue 03-Jan-12 12:39:21

Yes my friend chose one of these dresses and had it made by a designer so had the choice of sleeves or not. It was very extravagent with lots of sparkle and net skirts etc. She is a bit on the plump side and has always battled with her weight - WWatchers etc etc but decided not to bother dieting for her wedding as DH to be loved her as she was etc. Fine -great - l completely agree with that attitude. But then after her very expensive wedding she was left with a set of photos that she absolutely hated and moaned endlessly about her 'second cleavage on her back' or her 'fat back' and 'how awful she looked' etc and how she wished she had 1. dieted or toned up or 2. chose a dress with sleeves.
At my wedding - which she attended - l wore a completely plain satin dress with medieval type sleeves - you know those that drape down below your hands slightly on one side and the back of the dress draped out onto the floor slightly. l was completely covered from head to toe basically and l am very tall and was very slim and toned (not as much so now but hey ho) but l believe less is more and wanted to look sophisticated and chic more than anything else really. Interestingly my friend was completely wowed by my dress and said she thought l would wear a strapless or more meringue extravagent dress as l could have got away with it but she absolutely loved it and was going to go for a very modest style herself but l guess she just got swept away with it all when choosing her own.
As others have said each to their own but just be sure you are absolutely confident in how you look in whatever you choose then you wont have regrets after as my friend did and your photos are always going to be a permanent reminder.

Sudaname Tue 03-Jan-12 12:46:55

Another thing l dislike about strapless dresses is that 'just got out of bath with a towel round you' look especially on head and shoulder shots where you can just about see the top of the dress or even worse cant see any of it - then it looks like the bride is completely naked except for veil/tiara grin.

Sorry yes where was l - ah yes - each to their own.

LeQueen Tue 03-Jan-12 12:47:21

Suda totally agree. I have 2 friends who don't have any of their wedding photos on display because they realised afterwards that their dresses were hopelessly unflattering, and they looked a sight sad

Wamster Tue 03-Jan-12 13:02:03

This is not about dictating to the bride what she can or cannot wear-of course it is up to her! And, no, I wouldn't dream of saying to the bride that she looks shit on her wedding day I think it, though. However, there is no doubt that:
1, Strapless wedding dresses are dull, dull, dull and show zero imagination on the part of the bride
2, As for looks, they look awful on the majority of brides unless they are young and slim

That's the truth of it.

Sudaname Tue 03-Jan-12 13:08:58

Lequeen - looked at your pics and your dh dress is gorgeous grin. As l say l am not a fan of strapless but yours is quite high isnt it and a nice shape to the top definitely not that straight across like a bath towel look. l see what you mean about the shawl aswell - l have a little lacy cardy that l wear with a few evening tops l have and l dont feel any more covered up with it but somehow it feels more flattering than the top just on its own.

Haziedoll Tue 03-Jan-12 13:09:12

When I got married almost 17 years ago there were very few strapless dresses, most dresses had long sleeves then.

I walk past a bridal shop every day and they have gorgeous dresses in the window, all different styles, so I think there is still a variety for sale. The last wedding I went to where the bride wore a non-strapless dress was 10 years ago.

nativitywreck Tue 03-Jan-12 13:10:56

Hate strapless wedding dresses. And yet everyone wears them.
What I don't understand is why brides don't just get a good seamstress to make them a dress.
If I was getting married I would get a nice hungry fashion student to do me something lovely, to fit, to my own specifications! (And for a fraction of the price of a "proper" wedding dress.)
Most wedding dresses I have seen are horrendous actually.

Adversecamber Tue 03-Jan-12 13:43:09

Strapless suits very few people.

I am a bit addicted to Don't tell the bride, has anyone noticed the trend for skirts looking rumpled with gathers? I'm not keen on that either.

LeQueen Tue 03-Jan-12 13:44:59

Ta Suda but that's not my DH on the piccies, they're my DBs grin

I agree with you, in that the cut straight across strapless dresses hardly ever flatter anyone regardless of their shape, I just don't know why people wear them?

A heart shaped bodice is far more flattering, especially if you have ample boobs smile

ChaoticAngel Tue 03-Jan-12 13:49:37

Lovely dress Le Queen smile

ZXEightyMum Tue 03-Jan-12 13:56:27

LeQ how do you avoid back "overspill"? My cousin's dress was very similar to yours and she has some lovely wedding photographs but she was really unhappy with the ones taken from behind. It might have been her posture and a temporary thing but she was quite upset.

DD and I were watching, "Bend it like Beckham" last night and roaring at the dress fittings.

diddl Tue 03-Jan-12 13:57:20


There´s also a black & white pic of a guy with his hand on your neck pulling you in for a kiss.

I´m thinking that that´s your husband?

ZXEightyMum Tue 03-Jan-12 14:04:16

I think that's the English, younger, slimmer and sexier brother of Joey from "Friends"

Love the laughing official in the background! DH and I had much hilarity at our wedding because the best man was racing away to get the sodding ring which he had left behind. I had just put on a substitute ring when he crashed through the doors with mine and it was suggested that we all had a whip-round for his speeding fines grin

OTheHugeManatee Tue 03-Jan-12 14:07:07

Mine will be strapless, but with a lace bolero over the top. I swore I wouldn't go strapless, but when I tried the sample on it looked awesome. I'm also lucky in that I managed to find a lovely, totally unpretentious but wildly talented dressmaker who's going to do a completely bespoke silk dress plus bolero for me for about half what I'd pay for something off-the-peg from a 'famous name' designer grin

diddl Tue 03-Jan-12 14:15:24

"I think that's the English, younger, slimmer and sexier brother of Joey from "Friends""

Hope not, as that´s who I´m married togrin

LeQueen Tue 03-Jan-12 14:15:37

diddl Oh, yes, just checked, that black and white photo is my DH. Forgot that one was on there smile

LeQueen Tue 03-Jan-12 14:18:37

ZXEighty I avoided overspill because I probably didn't have that much flesh on my torso? Also, the bodice was very well cut and properly boned, so that it supported my boobs properly, but didn't pinch IYSWIM?

ZXEightyMum Tue 03-Jan-12 14:23:12

Cheers LeQueen.

grin at diddl being married to your DH and vice versa.

mrsjay Tue 03-Jan-12 14:36:07

I watched the programme 4 weddings all afternoon yesterday and a few of the bustier girls had strapless dresses on , and i dont think it looked right at all especially later on and boobies seemed to be escaping all over the place and the dresses seemed to fall down , and bits were falling out over the sides , not a good look , I think some brides should go for straps to keep it all in place ,

jellybeans Tue 03-Jan-12 14:40:08

YABU as it is up to the bride and also why should big people have to cover up? Would we rather just see perfect bodies on display or 'normal' people with their flab and rolls?

I myself wouldn't wear strapless and didn't on my wedding day (even though i was quite slim). But most gowns I tried on were skimpy round the top. Not for me.

StopRainingPlease Tue 03-Jan-12 14:55:42

"Flab and rolls"? No, I don't want to see people's flab and rolls on display, sorry if that makes me a terrible person!

LeQueen Tue 03-Jan-12 15:48:56

I can't say I really want to view other people's flabs and rolls either, does this make me a bad person hmm

I have spectacularly ugly feet, which is why you won't ever spot me wearing strappy sandals etc...because I know full well that my feet are yucky to look at.

NinkyNonker Tue 03-Jan-12 15:54:18

There is such a dearth of anything with any form of straps or sleeves in the wedding dress line, such a shame as the strapless look is so overdone. I used to wear lovely strapless cocktail dresses when I was younger, however when I got married I wanted something a little more demure for church (despite not being large all over I am fairly large of nork) and was bored bored bored of everyone getting wed sans straps. Took a while to find something suitable, anything with straps seemed to be aimed at an older generation...

NinkyNonker Tue 03-Jan-12 15:55:09

I don't count spaghetti straps either, not flattering in my opinion.

diddl Tue 03-Jan-12 15:55:10

O course it´s up to the bride.

Just a shame many think that they look good in strapless when they could look better in something else.

NinkyNonker Tue 03-Jan-12 15:58:45

Oh, if anyone is after a strapped wedding dress in approx a 14 let me know, I really should do something with mine!

forehead Tue 03-Jan-12 16:10:49

Sud your wedding dress sounds similar to the one i wore on my wedding day. It was classy and sophisticated and people who have seen my wedding photos
have all said that they wished that they had worn a dress with sleeves.
Kate Middletonn's dress was nice. However . the best 'royal 'dress was worn by Princess Margaret's daughter; Sarah Chatto.
BTW, my dress was made by a dressmaker. The material was £300(it was silk iivory) and cost £150 to sew. Many of the guest at the wedding thought that my dress cost over three grand.

Sudaname Tue 03-Jan-12 16:54:14

Yes everybody loved mine aswell (not that you're gonna say different to a bride but even since then people have come into house and commented straight away on my wedding pic or brought it up). l dont agree that you can only either look sassy,sexy versus innocent and demure.
I think the chic sophisticated look can look just as sexy or sassy or whatever.

(l know what l mean hmm - thats the main thing ! ).

Sudaname Tue 03-Jan-12 16:55:38

Understated - now theres a word that says a lot grin

EauDeLaPoisson Tue 03-Jan-12 17:00:31

Wow what a catty OP- are you not happy in yourself dear? Thats a shame! these women who you slate more than likely are so who gives a gnats piss what people like you think!

My sister managed to get away with a strapless dress in scarlet. She managed this because she is a tiny size 6 with the most amazing ivory skin with shoulders and bone structure you could die for. So she avoided that horrible backboob thing that almost always happens.


This was my gown, blerdy loved it. DH said I looked like Gandulf and elfin princess. grin

A1980 Tue 03-Jan-12 22:15:12

Would we rather just see perfect bodies on display or 'normal' people with their flab and rolls?

Surely your wedding day is the one day you want to look good and not have flab and rolls hanging out?

confuddledDOTcom Tue 03-Jan-12 23:38:24

TheBolter, I am under 35. White makes me look washed out and ill, however old I am I'd rather look healthy at my wedding. My legal wedding I'm wearing red and black. I'm quite expecting people to judge and I don't mean because of the meaning of white, it's pretty clear I have children, but doing something so different.

diddl, don't know it's not been designed yet, although I like floor length sleeves so thinking of going fot that. The red and black one is a corset (and I mean corset!) and skirt so it will be. I'm an H cup so should be interesting!

VikingLady, you sound so much like me! I agree, everyone else can get knotted, if that's what she's decided on, what makes her a bride, what has it to do with anyone else? I get annoyed at plastic bones, especially when they put them in and call it a corset. I refuse to even spend much time looking at wedding dresses, part the reason I'm having one made, because I'll find all the faults and whilst it doesn't matter as much on something cheap from Tesco if it has faults, I don't want to find them in a wedding dress.

LeQueen, does it matter what anyone else thinks of it if she feels special? It's her day. What if the dress everyone else said suited her didn't feel right and she felt uncomfortable all day just so people didn't have to put up wtih her "back fat"? You obviously didn't have any problems with friends not telling you anything, you look lovely wink

runningwilde Wed 04-Jan-12 00:07:40

People should wear what they want - regardless of their age and size! What's it to you what people wear?! Concentrate on yourself and leave others to look how they want to.

BandOMothers Wed 04-Jan-12 10:20:41

What do you wear when you're 39 in the height of an Australian Summer please? DH and I got maried with no fuss in the UK and he wants to do a big ceremony in Oz next Christmas for his mates and family ....I'm up for that...but whatstyle to wear? In our UK wedding, I wore a very simple 50s style dress which I borrowed! I'm going to be 39 by next will be hot, hot hot and I am pale pale pale!

I have no boobs a small upper body and waist but larger down below....I'm a pear...size 12....I can't pull off a beach babe look at 39! I like vintage style...not strapless....we may do it all on the beach....or in his Dads garden....thinking vintage style do..trad slightly naff with rose arch etc...I don't do strapless! grin

IndianOcean Wed 04-Jan-12 10:31:08

I don't think any brides should wear strapless sleeveless dresses - not until the party in the evening, anyway.
It's just not classy.
And is now boring.

Do men turn up in tight shorts and racer back vests with their pecs rippling in full view?

TurkeyBurgerThing Wed 04-Jan-12 10:33:01

My breasts are far too large to go strapless. It upsets me a bit because I felt a proper frump on my wedding day (I'd dieted and lost LOADS of weight but my tits won't shrink and am a 32 JJ.)

Horrible feeling being a deformed freak like me but if others are able to flaunt it confidently then good for them, I wish I could!

confuddledDOTcom Wed 04-Jan-12 10:34:32

Anything else we "should" keep in mind when planning our wedding clothes? Do you mind me wearing red and black? I guess I need to rethink that outfit as it is strapless but can I keep the colours?

ChaoticAngel Wed 04-Jan-12 10:37:53

Lots of sun cream grin

Sorry, couldn't resist. If you like vintage then google vintage wedding dresses and maybe that'll give you some ideas. Is it possible for you to get something made as opposed to buying which may give you some leeway in the design/fabric.

OTheHugeManatee Wed 04-Jan-12 10:37:53

BandOfMothers Something prom-dressy again, surely? Your 'pear' becomes a lovely 'hourglass', you can show off your waist and emphasise your curves, and the shorter length means you won't die of heat exhaustion grin

I love this one

ChaoticAngel Wed 04-Jan-12 10:44:03

My pp was to BandOfMothers.

I do like the one OTheHugeManatee has linked to.

Confuddled I'm single atm so obviously, not planning on getting married but I'd love to get married in red if I ever did. Your red and black sounds great to me grin

balanceball Wed 04-Jan-12 11:05:45

Damn you MN, you are all right grin.

I'm getting married in the autumn and sort of assumed I'd wear a strapless dress as almost all wedding dresses are. But I've read through this thread and gone back and looked through some of the dresses I'd bookmarked and it's true, it's just not a flattering look on most brides. It looks gorgeous on many of the models but when you see real-life photos you can see where it all goes wrong. I am a C-cup, so not overly norked, but my arms are quite big due to sports.

Sigh, now I'm going to have to restrict my searches to sleeved/with straps dresses and cut my pool of possible dresses by about 90%. confused

nativitywreck Wed 04-Jan-12 11:10:09

how about something like this Band of Mothers?
It's got a little jacket and comes in loads of different fabrics. I reckon they would make you one in any fabric.

nativitywreck Wed 04-Jan-12 11:11:27
emsyj Wed 04-Jan-12 11:27:28

If you want something like the Vivien of Holloway dresses that nativitywreck linked to, I would recommend Whirling Turban instead - their dresses are much much nicer quality and nicer fabrics

I sell 50s style wedding dresses so PM me if you want a link to my website. I have a studio at home for people to try on too.

IndianOcean Wed 04-Jan-12 11:37:58

'flapper' style dresses are v in and up and coming atm, I think - a lovely floaty straight shift 1920s style? Crepe de chine, silk or satin with light chiffon sleeves?

IndianOcean Wed 04-Jan-12 11:39:21

Some of those whirling turban frocks make me want to get married all over again!

FlossieFromCrapstonVillas Wed 04-Jan-12 12:08:58

Move away from the strapless. They all, without exception, look like you bought it at Weddingz-R-Us.

SillyOldBear01 Wed 04-Jan-12 12:30:30

I'm a larger lady size 22, got recently engaged, not tried on any dresses but I'm avoiding strapless like the plague I'd look Horrifc.

this is the sort of dress I'd like ..

balanceball Wed 04-Jan-12 12:34:12

Oh, that is lovely SillyOldBear. I find a lot of sleeved dresses to be a bit matronly but the off-the-shoulder look in your link makes it less so.

SillyOldBear01 Wed 04-Jan-12 12:45:15

Thanks balance, I thought that too

ChaoticAngel Wed 04-Jan-12 13:05:38

That is lovely Bear smile

LeQueen Wed 04-Jan-12 13:18:25

"LeQueen, does it matter what anyone else thinks of it if she feels special? It's her day. What if the dress everyone else said suited her didn't feel right and she felt uncomfortable all day just so people didn't have to put up wtih her "back fat"?

Confudled I don't have any problem at all with people wearing what they want. But generally, brides want other people to think they look lovely, so if that's important to them, then they need to take other people's opinion into consideration.

If, as a bride, you don't give a monkey's if other people think you look nice, then that's fine and all power to your elbow smile

diddl Wed 04-Jan-12 13:18:58

That is a lovely dress.

Somehow off the shoulder is so much more flattering.

I think with the strapless/bodice, it´s the whole expanse of bare shoulders, arms, chest area and back-just too much flesh on show.

LeQueen Wed 04-Jan-12 13:21:00

Confuddled forgot to SIL got married in a full on, crimson wedding dress, with ballgown skirts and train (it did have sleeves though). I daren't tell you what the dress cost, but she looked simply amazing smile

sherbetpips Wed 04-Jan-12 13:21:28

It's the sweetheart neckline strapless with the ribbon up back that are the worst. They feature regularly on gypsy wedding for a reason!
I remember a mum saying to her daughter when they couldnt even do the ribbons up properly that it didnt matter they would get longer ribbons and just put a piece of material in between so you couldnt see her skin. She looked awful and you could tell she wasn't happy in it. I have watched many a bride to be bullied into an unsuitable dress by friends and family.

sherbetpips Wed 04-Jan-12 13:22:36

sillyoldbear that is stunning

LeQueen Wed 04-Jan-12 13:26:25

Sherbet Ahem...mine was a sweetheart neckline, with a ribboned corset bodice...just saying, like wink

NinkyNonker Wed 04-Jan-12 13:27:34

I don't object to others' choices of wedding dress, but I do object to the fact that strapless dresses are so the norm that rarely are other options apparent, meaning many wear strapless when they may not have done if presented with more choices!

This designer in Brighton [[ Here]] does lovely bespoke vintage and retro style dresses, if I were doing it again I would have a lovely below knee, oyster silk, scoop necked number made for me.

nativitywreck Wed 04-Jan-12 13:27:44

emsij-wow, those dresses are beautiful. You can tell they are really well made.

NinkyNonker Wed 04-Jan-12 13:30:24

Hmmmm, crap linkage on phone there.

DoesNotGiveAFig Wed 04-Jan-12 13:31:35

Mine had vintagey lace like the picture with off the shoulder short sleeves. The 'solid' bodice part was a sweetheart neckline under a scoop neck off the shoulder lace bit. If that makes any sense. I had many compliments on it, and on how unique it was.

vixsatis Wed 04-Jan-12 13:31:50

Strapless is unsuitable for a church wedding- just too much flesh.

Strapless looks lovely on models and dreadful on most real people. It is also now just spectacularly dull and unoriginal-every single dreary bride on "Four Weddings" (blush at admitting to watching this rubbish) wears a strapless polyester monstrosity, the only variation being in the amount of hideous "detail". The worst are the dresses with a bodice seemingly moulded out of fibreglass.

ZXEightyMum Wed 04-Jan-12 13:35:59

This thread is making me remember Victoria Beckham's wedding dress

Strapless, yes, and no back-fat or bulges but also not very flattering.

LeQueen Wed 04-Jan-12 13:37:39

ZX I agree, it could have been so much more flattering, but the bodice was clearly much too short for her torso.

diddl Wed 04-Jan-12 13:40:10

Never seen VBs wedding dress before.

Looks really uncomfortable-not much room for foodblushgrin

MistletoeAndFlump Wed 04-Jan-12 13:43:23

I don't like the strapless bodice type wedding dresses, mainly because they all look the same to me - but each to their own.

What surprises me is that it's apparently so hard to find anything that isn't strapless. When I got married many <ahem> years ago, I didn't want a strapless dress for the opposite reason - I was skinny and could only create the illusion of boobage with some artificial uplift. But I remember having loads of styles to choose from - and I would have thought after Kate M's dress having sleeves, that style would be all over the place by now...

AbsofCroissant Wed 04-Jan-12 13:43:36

balanceball - give us some info (vital stats, preferred style, dress preferences) and we can help you find a dress ...

emsyj Wed 04-Jan-12 14:03:26

Ooooh Joanne Fleming made my wedding dress - I'm on her website! I'm 'Emma' of the 'Emma' dress (slash neck, cap sleeves, ballerina length) grin grin grin

emsyj Wed 04-Jan-12 14:05:43
wahwahwah Wed 04-Jan-12 14:10:48

Oh god, they are all so beautiful...

TheSmallClanger Wed 04-Jan-12 14:25:37

There are hundreds of dress styles and millions of colours in the world, lots of which would look lovely on each of us. It just makes me sad that someone has decided that strapless dresses with corset bodices and foofy skirts, in white, are what women should wear to get married.

Strapless a-line dresses are boring, and I particularly don't like the ones that disappear on head and shoulders shots.

I would recommend to anyone to do what I did, and buy a non-wedding, but lovely dress from a nice shop or department store. Not only was there no premium price, I could try it on unmolested and walk out of the shop with it that day.

ZillionChocolate Wed 04-Jan-12 14:29:08

Are you blonde looking at a bracelet in the photo? (link only goes to the homepage).

Insomnia11 Wed 04-Jan-12 14:36:48

I wore strapless in a church, but that's all there was available in 2004 (unless you wanted to pay £500 plus, and mine cost £70 in Monsoon sale) plus it was June and warm. Plus the fact I was 9 and a half stone, and my decolletage and toned arms were my best feature! Been working bloody hard in the gym and running and doing Weightwatchers for six months plus before too and there was no way I was going to be covered up. I did however wear a elbow length veil and keep it on until the "You may now kiss the bride" bit as a nod to the traditional.

emsyj Wed 04-Jan-12 14:46:56

Yes that's me! Not the nicest shot - am focussing very hard on the strange clasp...

BandOMothers Wed 04-Jan-12 16:11:14

emsyj thanks so much for the Whirling Turban link...they've got some stunning things! Thanks for the advice all...I reckon I might order one from WT when I'm a size 10...I'll stuff the bloody cups of the frock!

emsyj Wed 04-Jan-12 16:46:59

They are beautifully made - the little boleros are completely reversible, very well constructed and finished. I've got a polka dot pencil dress and desperately want a 'Peggy Would' dress with circle skirt. Just need to find an occasion to wear one then I'm right there to make the purchase!

rooksby Wed 04-Jan-12 20:36:53

I thought I didn't like "wedding dresses" and always thought if we get round to tying the knot I'll just have a coloured 40s style dress or suit made, but those Joanne Fleming ones are absolutely beautiful and make me swoon.

I have gone from happily unmarried to desperate bridezilla now! I live miles and miles from her studio though so would have to find someone local to make something similar. Oh, and would have to magic up a load of money to pay for the dress and a wedding big enough to make it worth wearing! I've bookmarked the page though smile

rooksby Wed 04-Jan-12 20:38:13

Actually emsyj I've always fancied a Peggy Would for such an occasion (probably in a green, yellow or pink) but now I'm not so sure...

Sarsaparilllla Wed 04-Jan-12 21:22:38

I'm getting married next year and I've had a right bugger of a search to find something non strapless - it's ridiculous, I've had shop assiatants look at me in utter disbelief when I've said that's what I'm looking for because it the majority of shops they don't have anything, I don't usually wear strapless corsets why do I want to start on my wedding day!

Lukily I've found an off the sholder style in a sample sale, but I couldn't have afforded it new

Sarsaparilllla Wed 04-Jan-12 21:29:02

The off the shoulder dreses on here are beautiful - I adore the one C1122, but far too expensive for my budget!!

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