pissed off with step nieces slagging off my db on facebook

[alfiethekittycat]

Sorry this is long as wanna get everything in my post so not to miss anything out,

Had a call out of the blue last week from my sis in law, She was very upset, said her dd 17 had found an email to my bro from facebook referring to another woman and was convinced he was having an affair,

She was very upset and asked what I thought, I told her that I didnt think he would cheat on her as he is a family man and wouldnt do that and couldn't see him having the time even if he wanted to, he works all the time, (nights) and comes to mine or my mums most days as he works so far from home it isnt worth him going home till his day off.

even before she had spoken to my db both my step niece's who my db has brought up as his own for the last 18 years (they have a son together who is 16) the girls are 17 and 19, she was pregnant with dn no 2 when they got together had posted a facebook status calling him a ct and a Wr and that they hated him without knowing any facts,

I called my sis in law back and asked her to tell them to delete their status's at least until she and my db had spoken which they did but was too late as too many people had seen them and was asking questions.

Sis in law asked if she could call me the next day after she had spoken to db, she didnt bother so I was worrying all day,

Turns out he had an email from facebook saying some woman had looked at his profile, didnt know they did that but it was all over nothing, they are all happy, happy again and i am flippin pissed off with my sn's and my sis in law for making something out of nothing,

More pissed off with sn's about what they said about my db as he works all the hours god sends for them.

[Bloodymary]

No YANBU.
Oh dear, facebook has a lot to answer for doesnt it!

[ValentinCrimble]

Your nieces sound weird!

[alfiethekittycat]

Yes facebook is not good, I deleted my account ages ago as it was doing my head in but my kids showed me this,
Just so angry athow those girls spoke about by db, as far as my whole family are concerned they are as much his kids as my dn.
Never treated them any different, I am really disgusted with them to be honest,
Just pisses me off that this whole thing has left my mum and me and my older sis whos his wife also called stressed out while they act as if nothing has happenend,
Not my brothers fault as nothing was going on but still annoyed at him as he seems to have let my step nieces get away with talking about him like that,

[nancydrewrocked]

Don't really understand why you are pissed of with your Sil (but I don't understand from your explanation of what di/didn't happen)

Your DN's are young and therefore childish and used to living their lives out on facebook - it was stupid for them to behave oin the way in which they did but your brother has clearly forgiven since they are all now "happy happy" so probably best if you do too.

[potplant]

I think I've misunderstood part of the story as FB don't send you emails to say that people have been looking at your profile.

I am astounded at some of the things that some of my friends' teenagers post about the lives on FB. Its the modern way.

[CheeseandGherkins]

Afaik facebook DOES NOT send you an email just because someone looks at your profile. Also, you cannot be sure he wouldn't cheat, just because he's your brother doesn't mean anything. Plenty of women think the same about their husbands/partners and you only have to look at the forums here to see how wrong they are :( Not saying he has but you can't just state that "he wouldn't".

I think that if her daughter's want to complain then that's up to them, I can't blame them for being hurt that their father could have cheated on their mother. Would think they were odd if they didn't tbh!

[BabyDubsEverywhere]

My tosser of a half sis did this to my dad, she was 35 at the time, age makes no difference, some people love the limelight in any form and are general shits, my Dsis included!

[usualsuspect]

You always get an email if someone comments or posts on your wall,unless you turn off the notifications..but you wouldn't get one if someone just looked ...I bloody hope not anyway

[potplant]

usualsuspect - me too. I don't want my low lever cyber stalking being known.

[prozacfairy]

Kids today eh?

YANBU. Your SIL shouldn't have been talking to her kids about this stuff anyway, let alone allowing them to shoot their mouths off on FB about a load of Heresay.

It's not FB that's the problem imo just a few morons people that use it.

[alfiethekittycat]

I don't know what he signed up to but he did get an email saying some woman had looked at his profile,

I do know how teenagers work but what they said was totally out of order seeing as their mum and dad hadnt even spoken about this.

I am just very cross with them as they didnt give their mum and him chance to speak about it before they plasted it all over facebook,

There was even a comment from their real dad asking what was going on,

Just think they should have waited for the truth before they put it out to the public.

The younger dn only had access to his email cos he had ordered something for her, he wouldnt have allowed this if he something to hide'

The way they spoke about him on fb was disgusting,

[thumbwitch]

And have they apologised? They should.
Your SIL should not have spoken to them before speaking to her DH (your DB) so she should be setting this straight - I can see why you're upset, ungrateful little baggages. At 17 & 19 they should know better.
They should publicly apologise for posting libellous material about your DB - and they should have some kind of retribution for their nastiness.
I hope your SIL is contrite for her part in it as well.

[RunawayWife]

YANBU you step nieces should be grateful to him for bringing them up.

[alfiethekittycat]

I am peed off at the kids for obvious reasons but also at my sis in law for promising to let me know what was the outcome once she and my bro talked,
I couldnt phone her in case my bro was there as he was going home that morning to speak to her, didnt want her getting in trouble cos she had confided in me.

[FallingWithStyle]

Calling your dad a cunt on the internet? Ffs.
I hate facebook, or maybe just some of its users?
There's no point you continuing to be annoyed - from their pov it's all done and dusted.
It's crap but clearly your brother and his family just have a higher threshold for vulgar, attention seeking behaviour.
Not much you can do about it.

[alfiethekittycat]

they are not his children, he has raised them for the last 18 years,
she made it my business when she phoned me,
Yes they have a right to be angry if he was cheating but he wasnt,
They had no right to say what they did on fb,

[FallingWithStyle]

Yes, what they did sounds hideous but what is it you want to happen?
I dont understand.

[alfiethekittycat]

I dont want anything to happen, just glad they are ok.
Doesn't stop me being pissed off with them though.

[nancydrewrocked]

So am I right that sister in law didn't discuss this with the children as such, rather they found "evidence" on his email that he had been cheating and told their mother and went on the attack?

You are now pissed off that the children behaved childishly and sil didn't keep you up to date in her discussions with your brother? Seriously you need to back off

You have no idea what your brother has or hasn't been up to, what goes on in their marriage, what problems they might have had/be having/have in the future. This is not your business.

The "explanantion" about the email is a bit suspicious (facebook do not email to say that someone has been looking at your profile. They do email to say someone has sent you a message/commented on your page) so possibly your brother has been up to something. perhaps not. It matters not. Your sil (and presumably brother) want to move on. You need to too.

[alfiethekittycat]

nancydrewrocked there are applications you can have to tell you who has viewed your profile on fb,

This is what started this off.

If my bro has been cheating i would be the first one to tell him what an arsehole he has been but this isnt the case,

I just dont like my stepnieces refering to him as a cunt and wanker when he has done nothing wrong except work all the hours god sends so they can have an easy life.