to regret having had my 3rd dc?

[rapidsjohnson]

because I now have no career, am bored and depressed, and now we only have one income we won't have the option of sending our kids to private school if the local schools continue to get ever worse as they are doing atm.

even if I can get another job when he starts school it won't be anything like the same level - there was a woman on the radio the other day saying it takes around 15 years on average to get back to the same level of salary as before dcs

dh and I are always tired and snap at each other now.

it wouldn't matter about the money if we were happy, but we're not.

it's not ds2's fault, he's a perfectly nice baby, I just really really really wish I hadn't had him.

[wahwahwah]

Sounds like you are having a bad day. Go out for a walk or a nice cuppa in a cafe. No point regretting it now (unless you want to have him adopted).

[3littlefrogs]

Oh dear. You post makes me want to cry. Not sure what to say really.

I had my 3rd in my 40s, accidental awful pregnancy, loads of financial challenges, lost my business, had to retrain and go back into a job etc.

But I wouldn't swap her for anything - I couldn't love her more than I do, she is the most precious gift I could have had.

I really really hope you will come to feel that way too.

It is exhausting - have you considered the possibility of PND? Is your dh supportive?

Do your other children help you?

[Ronaldinhio]

i've just had my third
things are ugghhhh bleughhhh

offering a hug

[SparklyJules]

Yes you are being unreasonable!

BUT - I can see you are not particularly happy with your lot at the moment and we often pick on the easiest target when we feel down.

You need to look at your life with fresh eyes - lots of people on here would chop their arm off for a baby, never mind 3!

Agree with wahwahwah - sounds like you're having a bad day!

And ignore the woman on the radio - codswallop!

[wahwahwah]

And I got back to my old salary level (well what it would have been if I hadn't given up work for 5 years) in my first job back after a career break. So it can be done.

Enjoy your children - it won't be long before they have a social life of their own and won't want old mum (unless it is for feeding, cash, lifts...).

I am seriously considering a more Buddist take on life - enjoy today and yesterday and tomorrow aren't don't exist (is that it or is that something I read on a Hallmark card?).

[muggglewump]

I sometimes regret having my only!

When I think about life without her, sure it would probably be easier, less stressful and I wouldn't be skint all the time, but it'd be half full, she makes up the other half.

[rapidsjohnson]

thank you everyone, you're all so nice.
can't go out, dh just called to say ds1's ill so he's bringing him home from nursery.

I'm sure lots of people would like ds2 - he has fair hair and blue eyes and sleeps through the night so would probably fetch quite a lot on the open market (joke). DD would be cross though as he's her favourite toy.

[wahwahwah]

Well, as my sister says - if I'd have known how much work and hassle they were going to be, I would never have had them, but I wouldn't be without them.

And hers are a nightmare!!

[Suncottage]

I have three friends who have said this to me - just wish they had known what it was going to be like before having DC's then got a kitten instead!

[CommanderCool]

I know how you feel. The third child is tough. You have to go through the baby thing yet again and you have two others to think about too. You can feel very stretched with no time to yourself.

Careerwise - I am working through a second degree in hope of a new career. It's not easy as I have no childcare beyond school and morning nursery for dd2.

What's lovely is seeing the relationship develop between the three now that DD3 is 15 months. They have a real laugh sometimes and the older two adore the baby.

[Lauriefairycake]

yanbu - having kids is the toughest thing ever

I only have foster dd and much as I love her to bits I am looking forward to her growing up and getting my slightly boring life back.

I am glad I didn't have any of my own - having said that there is still a pang of sadness at missing out on the baby snuggles.

[ValentinCrimble]

Stop worrying about school...with a good family your DCs wil be fine...try to relax about it and make your DH give you day off ASAP....

[rapidsjohnson]

oh today is my day off, except it's getting curtailed in 10 mins when dh comes back with ds1.
lots to do and no energy to do it but it all seems a bit pointless and tedious anyhow - ever more loads of laundry to do etc etc.