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AIBU?

AIBU to refuse sex?

11 replies

woopsidaisy · 07/10/2010 07:13

My DH and I have a pretty good sex life,but one problem. I tend to go to bed earlier,about 10. I'm up early with the kids. DH goes to bed about 12ish. The last two nights he has come to bed,given me lovely cuddles etc,and made it clear he is ,ahem,"up for it". My problem is,I'm fast asleep! I don't like being woken up at twelve,so I have told him I'm asleep.But I feel really mean...he is going away next week,and I do plan on having sex before he goes,but can't he come up to bed earlier too? I have mentioned this to him a few times,but he nearly always comes up late and wakes me up. So,AIBU or is he?

OP posts:
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Alouiseg · 07/10/2010 07:18

Can't you do it downstairs before you go to bed. I'm sure he won't object.

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loveinsuburbia · 07/10/2010 07:19

Tell him to come to bed at 10 with you and then get up if he has stuff to do or isn't ready for sleep after sex. That used to work for us. He is BU to expect you to wake up after 2 hours sleep.

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Chil1234 · 07/10/2010 07:22

Funnily enough, sex takes two. If you're not setting up the right conditions i.e. one person is fast asleep... then it's not going to happen. You're not being mean but he's being inconsiderate by expecting you to fall in with his night-owl timetable.

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mumblechum · 07/10/2010 08:56

We're the same, I'm out for the count by 11pm, dh rarely comes to bed before 3am.

We just find other places and times Smile

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marriednotdead · 07/10/2010 09:05

YANBU. We used to have this argument and I really hate being woken an hour or so after I've nodded off. Now DH comes to bed earlier on 'those' nights and gets up again (after I've fallen asleep please!) if he's not that tired.

Got pesky teenagers so daytime/non-bedroom sex opportunities are rare EnvyGrin

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DetectivePotato · 07/10/2010 09:07

YANBU. I would be fuming if I had been asleep for 2 hours, then was woken up by DH wanting some.

Either he goes to bed when you do, you do it downstairs before, or he buggers off!

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mumblechum · 07/10/2010 09:39

Or you get some morning action.

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emmie31 · 07/10/2010 10:17

I also go to bed earlier than my husband but If I fancy a bit I text him and you've never seen someone appear upstairs so fast ha ha.. when we've had a cuddle after he returns downstairs, everyone happy Grin

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SolidGoldBrass · 07/10/2010 10:21

No one likes being woken up for sex. Even if you are generally enthusiastic about it, having a partner wake you up waving his cock about is just not enticing. SO, as everyone else says, do it earlier then he can get up again if he wants to.

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scotsmuminengland · 07/10/2010 11:15

I wouldn't do it unless he came to bed earlier. It is his choice to stay up that late.
My husband is usually awake at 6am and nearly every morning (except time of the month) I get sex pestered! I have told him if he doesn't stop I will never have sex with him again. He hasn't done anything for 3 mornings now. I am kinda missing it actually....

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dementedma · 07/10/2010 12:18

scotsmuminengland - was totally agreeing with you until you sais youa re nmissing it!!
The early morning willy waving and waking me up once I'm asleep because HE wants a shag, irrespective of whether I'm even conscious or not, seriously pisses me off!!!Angry

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