To be a bit shocked by this?

[magicmummy1]

DD is five, and in year 1. This morning, while we were out at her dance class, a little friend from her class appeared on the doorstep asking if she could play. My husband asked where her parents were, and she said that they were at home and that she had come alone.

It's probably about 6-7 minutes walk to this child's house, and she would have to cross three roads - not busy ones, but roads nonetheless. Obviously, we weren't expecting her today, so wouldn't have been able to alert the parents if she hadn't arrived safely.

I was a bit to hear that she had come to our house all by herself, but my OH thinks I am over-reacting. AIBU to think that five is still a bit young to go running around the neighbourhood all alone?

[lifeinagoldfishbowl]

YABU I wouldn't have a problem with it - if the roads aren't busy roads.

[feedthegoat]

YANBU. I wouldn't want my child wandering around at 5.

I'm sure there are kids out there capable at that age but I certainly wouldn't be keen. I think allowing it without someone being aware of where she is/should be is madness personally.

[Callisto]

I think 5 is way too young. The roads around me are not terribly busy, but there are several fuckwits who like to pretend they are on a racetrack and regularly ramp their pathetic little bangers past my house at 50mph plus.

[missmoopy]

My dd is almost 6 and there is NO WAY she goes anywhere alone.

[IMoveTheStars]

Tis a judgement call - depends on the 5yo.

I think a child walking 5 mins on quiet roads to a friends house at 5/6yo is fine tbh.

What I wouldn't be happy with is the lack of phone call beforehand because, as you say, they wouldn't have known if she'd arrived safely at your house or not.

[LisaD1]

OMG! YANBU, I don't allow my 10yr old to do this! 5 is far, far, too young imo.

[BoysAreLikeDogs]

what do you think will happen to your 10 year old Lisa?

[Anenome]

YANBU


It's little known fact but kids cannot actually judge the speed of traffic till' they are 14 plus.

On the other and my DD would LOVE it if her friend did that!

[ChooksAway]

I wouldn't let my 5yo do this, but only because he would get sidetracked and go bug hunting instead!

My older dc's have been allowed out on their own to visit friends when they are 7 or 8, depending on how reliable they are.

[magicmummy1]

"On the other and my DD would LOVE it if her friend did that!"

Anenome, my dd was tickled pink!

[CrispyTheCrisp]

I used to walk to school at 5, round the corner and across 1 road - probably 5 minutes. I usually had my sister or a friend with me though

[activate]

" LisaD1 Sat 25-Sep-10 16:35:15

OMG! YANBU, I don't allow my 10yr old to do this! 5 is far, far, too young imo."

[julybutterfly]

My 5 year old DS keeps asking if he can walk to his grandparents. No roads to cross and a 5 minute walk. I won't let him just yet because he runs...fast! This means he doesn't think to look for cars coming off of driveways. He knows why he's not allowed and is working on it

Lol at not letting a 10 year old out on their own! Do you live in a 'rough' area??

[bethjeff]

It really depends on your area. We had a radius of about 5 streets that we could play on around our house. There were lots of other children and the neighbours all keep an eye out for trouble. It is a very quiet suburban area though.

I think a bit of independence is great at that age, otherwise they will have a hard time growing up being aware of their surroundings and generally be a bit of a wet blanket!

[nancydrewrocked]

Depends on the area - I allow my DD (yr 1) to do this when we are overseas. Our house is on what I suppose is a large housing estate. The roads are quiet and she knows many of the neighbours.

Here in the UK I wouldn't allow it.

[gegs73]

I do think you are being a little unreasonable. I let DS1 who is 6 walk round the corner to his grannys and up the road to his friends, but I do call/text first to let them know hes on his way. I know where we live I am in the small minority of people who would let their children walk around by themselves.

[DetectivePotato]

YANBU, 5 is waayyyy too young for her to be out on her own.

"It's little known fact but kids cannot actually judge the speed of traffic till' they are 14 plus." I didn't actually know this but it is a good point. I got run over by a car when I was 9 because I completely misjudged the speed it was going. Even now when I look back, I still think it seemed 'miles' away and I can't see how it reached me in time.

[amberleaf]

YANBU

For its not the road crossing part of it that is the issue...its the turning up unannounced!

Do you know her parents?

Did they know you'd be in? or that it would even be convenient to have a visitor?

Personally id think 'what a pisstake'!

Her parents are totally irresponsible IMHO

[amberleaf]

for ME its not the....

[amberleaf]

To clarify;

even if the parents had said 'if shes not in come straight back' how would they know she hadnt come back because you WERE IN and not because she'd got into some sort of problem?

[JoanHolloway]

I would be concerned about this. And I probably wouldn't let my 10 yo roam streets knocking on mates doors for an invite in, either. Maybe it depends on where you live, tight community etc, but 5 is much too small.

[magicmummy1]

amberleaf, I do know the parents a little, but not well. They are from overseas, and tbh, the father's English is very limited so I can't talk to him much when he drops the little girl at school, but he is always very friendly. The mother is also lovely. Their daughter has been to our house before, and my little girl has been to their house a few times. I haven't ever had any concerns.

I wondered if it might be a cultural thing initially - my OH is also from another country (a different one from this family), and he didn't seem to think it was an issue. But lots of people on here have said that they think it's OK too, so maybe it's just a matter of personal opinion.

I think the bit that worried me most was the fact that we didn't know she was coming, and couldn't therefore contact the parents if she didn't arrive. I have no idea if she went straight home again when she found we weren't in.

[Anenome]

You could walk with DD round there next Saturday and start a new tradition...as in you and DD calll for the little girl together...then walk her home at the end. Show by eample what's safe and usual...they'll get the picture probably.