to think that, no, it is not possible to pay private school fees simply by "going without"?

[nameymcnamechange]

Of all the many thousands of things that annoy me about Mumsnet, it is this myth that more people could send their children to private school if they prioritised school fees over "extravagant lifestyles" and made sacrifices including but not limited to

• running one car or no car
  
• not going on holiday, or camping
  
• economising with food
  
• buying second hand clothes and not being interested in designer handbags
  
  No, those small economies are not going to make the difference between a state or private education for the vast vast vast majority of families.
  
  So can we please stop posting this kind of nonsense?

[2shoes]

yabu
it is called an opinion......
get over it

[MrsMadWriggle]

It's a question of maths really.

Most private schools where I live charge around £10k a year. That's 20 designer handbags.

Or 1-3 holidays (depending on where you go and what you do).

Not sure what a car costs to run a year with depreciation and all that, but it's going to be a few grand with tax, insurance, petrol, maintenance and depreciation.

It is possible that people could go without these things and afford private school.

[southeastastra]

agree with op

[TotalChaos]

yanbu.

[AMumInScotland]

I don't think it's a myth that there are some families who could afford private school fees by those kinds of economies. Of course, that still leaves vast numbers who couldn't afford it even if they never ate!

But that's part of the variation that there is in life, so I don't think there's any point being annoyed about it - some people could afford it by doing those things.

[memoo]

I've been on here for a couple of years now and I've never seen anyone say that OP

[TrillianAstra]

Depends how much you earn, doesn't it?

There are incomes where you can afford private school fees and holidays/horse-riding/violin lessons
Incomes where you can afford private school fees or holidays/horse-riding/violin lessons
Incomes where you can afford neither

[kat2504]

well yes it is your opinion and other people are entitled to theirs. I know however much i economised, i still wouldn't have that sum of money left over, given that I already spend almost half my take home pay on necessary household bills to keep a roof over my head with the tax paid and heat and hot running water. Many parents who choose private schools do go without certain luxuries in order to pay the fees, because they think it is worth it for their children. Most of the rest of us would not be able to afford it no matter how diligently we saved. So yes, I don't think you are being unreasonable in being annoyed at hearing this, but at the same time I am aware that many people do scrimp and save to pay for school fees and that is their choice.

[thedollshouse]

Well it may be an opinion 2shoes but it is a daft opinion.

I was having this conversation with a group of mums the other day and the question of what schools we would be sending our dc came up. I said that ds1 would be going to the local state school as there is no other choice (it is a good school so not an issue) one of the mums said that I was wrong to say that there isn't a choice because there is always the option of going private. She was unable to grasp the fact that because she can choose between private/state the vast majority of the population do not have this luxury.

I do not have a car, I have a budget of £300 for our annual holiday, I spend £60 a week on groceries and we don't buy clothes.

Private school fees for two children would be more than our annual income so even if we moved in with relatives and had no outgoings we still wouldn't have enough money to cover the fees and we are not on a low income.

[MrsMadWriggle]

Probably what they really mean is that they nearly have enough for school fees and economise in certain areas to make enough money - i.e. the last £2/3k.

[southeastastra]

loads say it! i think it would be nice if all schools were equal though ahahahahahahah

[Mishy1234]

I suppose it really depends on how extravagant your lifestyle is in the first place. If you're already living a fairly frugal existence then there won't be much to "go without".

We only go on one holiday a year (to a family caravan) and I don't buy designer handbags, so couldn't save there.

So no, I don't think YABU to say that it's not within reach for a lot of people.

[scurryfunge]

I think it is possible if you forfeit holidays.....We spend most of the extras on 2 or 3 holidays a year which easily comes to MrsMadWriggle's estimate.

I choose not to send DS to a private school because in my opinion they are not good value for money and I like the luxuries my wage brings.

[warthog]

yanbu.

it's also not fair to be resentful and bitter towards people who can afford it, or who do make huge sacrifices.

you can't presume to know everyone else's circs.

[usualsuspect]

YANBU annoys me too op ...and in an ideal world all kids would get the best education ..like thats gonna happen though

[southeastastra]

our local (admitted best independent in UK more or less) is £15,000 per year not including extras. i'm sorry but i wouldn't spend a quarter of that on a holiday!

[southeastastra]

[usualsuspect]

I don't have holidays so how the hell could I forfeit them?

[Mishy1234]

It's not just the fees though is it? The extras add up too. Then there are all the other things which go along with a private education which you have to shell out for in order for your child to feel comfortable being alongside their peers.

The thing which puts me off most is the responsibility of it all. What happens if you suddenly lose your ability to pay? This economic climate is incredibly unstable and once in the private system it's pretty hard on a child to come out.

[anonymousbird]

We are in the bracket of, with certain sacrifices, we can now "afford" the fees. Not only by those sacrifices. Agree with OP, that that alone would not be enough for fees (and certainly not for more than one child) unless your extravagances and holidays were numerous and unbelievably expensive.

We also are not highly geared on our mortgage (due to working very hard and buying in a dip) so we do have the fall back of being able to borrow some money, if necessary, on our house in a lean year.

[onimolap]

You could try applying for a bursary.

A school I visited recently has provision for either 5 children per intake totally free, or more if the pot of money is used for part awards.

So if you're income doesn't stretch to holidays in the first place, you've potentially got a route to affordability not available to those who manage it by strict budgeting.

[MrsMadWriggle]

The extras can be quite scary. £150 for a PE kit for example.

[usualsuspect]

Actually I would never send my kids private even if I could afford it ..so don't know why I'm on this thread

[SanctiMoanyArse]

Ah yes 2shoes but OP is an opinion so >

OP, I agree, For some it may be true (sister a case in point as in the middle of discussions with her Dh as to whether private comp more important (him) or lots of holidays more essential (her) )

But for most private fees, esp. for more than one, are a family income in almost entirety.

[QueenofDreams]

I do sort of agree. The mum mentioned who claimed there's always the option. Well that is a load of bollocks isn't it.

It's not an option for us. DP and I have not yet had a single holiday since we've been together. Not even in the UK.
1 lot of private school fees would take 2/3 of our after tax income. So we wouldn't have enough money left over for rent.

However, some people do have extras in their lives that they could forfeit to afford private education. My sister's household income is double mine, yet somehow they never have money. HOnestly I think she needs to look at their spending and economise a bit!