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AIBU?

To not want MTV on when dd is about?

30 replies

bytheMoonlight · 19/09/2010 17:10

DH wants MTV on when there is nothing else on the TV - God forbid he actually turns it off!

I think some of the ideas are far too sexual and don;t dd exposed to them. She is almost 3 and dh thinks she is far too young to take any notice. Which I can understand, even if I think she is taking it in.

However I know that no matter how old she is, he will still play them in front her with no consideration for how they portry women. He thinks I am just going on when I start talking about the way women are shown and thinks that in the long run by stopping her watching them I am stopping her from being in able to fit in with her peers.

AIBU?

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inkyfingers · 19/09/2010 17:20

YANBU, but problem if you DH thinks it's OK. I think she will take notice. Small girls are very interested in how girls/women act - that's how they play - being mummies etc (or being a pole dancer). They are hardwired to copy. MN is part of campaign to avoid early sexualisation etc.
CD/radio would be better if he want to listen - assuming that he's into the music & not the videos... Maybe start discussion with him on what he wants for his daughter.

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sethstarkaddersmum · 19/09/2010 17:23

A lot of people would never dream of letting their young children see MTV so his argument about stopping her fitting in doesn't work. If anything, there is a danger she will start to do sexy dancing or something in front of other mums which will make them Hmm.
I think it is inappropriate and a lot of other people do too.

YANBU at all.

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pilates · 19/09/2010 17:24

YANBU - totally agree with you, I feel uncomfortable with my 9 yr old daughter watching. The problem is young girls aspire to these scantily clad women dancing provocatively, which is very sad.

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Faaamily · 19/09/2010 17:26

YANBU. I find the average pop/R&B video way too x-rated to be shown around my children - DD and DS - and certainly not to have on regularly. I just don't want them exposed on a constant, background level to porn. Maybe explain it to your DH like that !

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FallingWithStyle · 19/09/2010 17:28

Yanbu at all. Can he not have a different music channel on, an indie one? Or even just the radio?

Either way he's a nob if he cant see why you'd prefer dd not to watch this stuff, he should also be able to deal with not having the tv on Hmm

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KarmaAngel · 19/09/2010 18:14

YANBU at all. I like to have the music channels on in the day when I'm doing other things. I usually settle for VH1, or the likes that plays 80's and 90's videos. Surely he can watch another channel, or if he likes the music listen to the radio. I dread when my dds (7 and 4) start asking to watch MTV as I won't be letting them.

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Tippychoocks · 19/09/2010 18:18

Blimey, turn it off and save yourselves some electricity. Do you really leave it on all day every day?

YANBU though as I wouldn't let children sit through most videos. The recent Eminem one being a prime example.

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teameric · 19/09/2010 18:33

YANBU my DD (nearly 4) saw the Katy Perry California girls video at my Mums (DS whos 11 was watching it) and started copying this part!
We don't have MTV on our Sky package.

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DetectivePotato · 19/09/2010 18:34

YANBU. I always used to watch music channels. Then I had a child and realised how totally inappropriate they are for children. She will take notice and copy what she sees!

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belgo · 19/09/2010 18:35

YANBU.

Tell him to turn on the radio instead.

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bytheMoonlight · 19/09/2010 18:47

You are all right.

But how do you explain to someone they are being knob if they refuse to realise it?

He honestly believes the videos will have no impact on dd.

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DetectivePotato · 19/09/2010 18:49

Ask him if he minds her gyrating around a pole or whatever they are doing in a video. Ask him if he would mind boys oogling her while she does this at age 6 because she has watched music videos for years.

TBH he probably won't take any notice of that. Who's name is the subscription in? I would be tempted to get rid of the music channel package. No MTV then.

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bytheMoonlight · 19/09/2010 18:56

I have reduced the package because I feel its a waste of money but that caused ructions. I didn't increase it again despite the pressure but I can't really reduce it anymore.

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belgo · 19/09/2010 19:00

Of course they will have an impact on her - she'll end up thinking the waterboarding in LadyGaga's video is normal. Not to mention the stimulated sex scenes; and the violence in Emimen's 'Love the way you lie' video.

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AnyFuleKno · 19/09/2010 19:02

listen to the radio instead?

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DetectivePotato · 19/09/2010 19:07

Buy some crime scene tape and wrap your DD in that and nothing more like Lady Gaga does in Telephone and see if he thinks that is inappropriate!!

Ok, maybe not a good thing to do to your DD, but I can't believe he honestly thinks these videos will have no effect! You still get some music channels on the reduced package. We only have 2 packs, the entertainment and documentary. Don't need tonnes of music and childrens channels when you have a few of each anyway.

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thelunar66 · 19/09/2010 19:08

YANBU at all. It's porn. I cannot stand having it on all the screens in the gym. Would never chose to have it on at home.

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bytheMoonlight · 19/09/2010 19:10

He's a twat fool - what more can I say?

He thinks I'm going off on some femininst rant and stops listening, I find myself talking to a brick wall.

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DetectivePotato · 19/09/2010 19:12

Show him this thread? Would that help him to see that it isn't just you "going off on a feminist rant?"

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bytheMoonlight · 19/09/2010 19:15

No that wouldn't help - that would make things worse!

He alreday thinks I take far too much advice from Mumsnet

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Tippychoocks · 19/09/2010 19:16

What about if those of us with qualifications in child development or psychology told him that in our considered professional opinions he was a nob. Would that help?

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DetectivePotato · 19/09/2010 19:16

My DH thinks the same! Smile

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bytheMoonlight · 19/09/2010 19:48

Just tried again, got a lot of eye rolling and dismissiveness.

Give up.

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FlyingInTheCLouds · 19/09/2010 20:14

ask him if he wants his daughter gyrating as my friend's DD does.

It looks disgusting from a 4 year old, her DH is mortified as she did it in front of his grandparents.

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fedupofnamechanging · 19/09/2010 20:19

I didn't think the Eminem video was too bad - have seen worse (Katy Perry & Snoop Dogg, with her prancing around with cakes on her boobs. Cherry nipples anyone?)
With the Eminem one, violence is mostly implied rather than explicit, the swear words are bleeped. I thought it was good to see a video acknowledging that DV exists and showing how people try to justify/explain it away as passionate personalities clashing but that in the end it's not about love or passion, it's about one person bullying another.

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