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Perfectly reasonable things which you unreasonably unreasonable about

(757 Posts)
GetOrfMoiLand Mon 13-Sep-10 10:44:43

Names with umlauts in them, unless you live in Germany or nordic lands. I don't mind accents in names, or that funny dot above the i in Irish names, but names with umlauts in get on my tits. Especially Zoë. Everyone can pronounce it when it is spelled Zoe. It is just attention seeking.

GetOrfMoiLand Mon 13-Sep-10 10:45:20

<tuts>

Which you ARE unreasonably unreasonable about.

GeekOfTheWeek Mon 13-Sep-10 10:54:02

When a poster misses a word out of the title wink

I hate made up spelling of names. Knatalee etc.

EccentricaGallumbits Mon 13-Sep-10 10:54:52

eating noise. and the dogs licking.

GetOrfMoiLand Mon 13-Sep-10 10:55:17

Oh thank you for coming on a thread with a truly incomprehensible title grin

Je suis une dumbass.

SloanyPony Mon 13-Sep-10 10:56:39

People who get married and have their 18 month old son as the "best man".

<<dons flame-proof suit>>

arses Mon 13-Sep-10 11:05:23

Eating noises. Burping that sounds like a 'pllllllllllllf' with air coming out the sides of the mouth. People who talk to young babies in a teacherly manner: "now, Johnny, mummy has told you about this before. What do we do with rubbish? Throw it in the bin. Remember that young man". That sing-songy tone of voice that Early Years professionals have when talking to children (and which I have adopted accidentally over the years). People negotiating with toddlers and giving them choices about stupid things (like what underwear they put on) - (and before anyone says anything, I don't mean children with language delay or behavioural issues or SEN, just toddlers). Unconditional parenting.

GetOrfMoiLand Mon 13-Sep-10 11:06:50

Or any child in a suit.

Actually it is perfectly reasonable to don your judgy pants about that one.

OOH OOH mothers who go clubbing with their teenage daughters. Loads of people say to me (my dd is 14) 'soon you will be going out clubbing together' hmm

Um, no. She can go out clubbing with her mates.

This may have something to do with when the last time I went to a club (Christmas 2009) I moaned about there not being enough seats to sit down, and 'why is the music so loud, can't hear myself think'.

Sloany, that is so nauseating. Friends of ours had their seven year old as the best man and three year old as bridesmaid. It was very mini me. Both children had copies of their parents wedding clothes.

Honeydragon Mon 13-Sep-10 11:10:06

My dog licking her bum ANYWHERE except her bed. I get it needs to be done, but if she won't use the bathroom with the door shut she should go in her bed behind the cupboard.

Manys the time I've walked in on her and she's let out a long suffering sigh and plodded to her bed to resume her cleaning grin

GetOrfMoiLand Mon 13-Sep-10 11:10:20

Frocks from Monsoon or Phase 8 worn by women who are younger than 50.

You may as well buy your dresses from Country Casuals and announce to the world you have given up.

GeekOfTheWeek Mon 13-Sep-10 11:11:50

Newborns in jeans.

People who 'smack their lips' when eating.

See through leggings. Makes me feel sick seeing someones fat, cellulite riddled arse through their clothes. Disgusting.

PFBitis.

People who do fuck all with their kids and palm them off to family members whenever possible.

EccentricaGallumbits Mon 13-Sep-10 11:11:52

people touching me uninvited.

Honeydragon Mon 13-Sep-10 11:12:31

ooooh and parents who send their children to school with really dirty ears - uuuuuurgh. If I can see it from 4 metres away - they need cleaning!

Honeydragon Mon 13-Sep-10 11:14:46

Geek

"People who do fuck all with their kids and palm them off to family members whenever possible"

I'll join you on that one - I'd get flamed on any other thread but this one - but I really agree with you.

GetOrfMoiLand Mon 13-Sep-10 11:16:24

<stern>

Now honeydragon, it is unreasonable tio send your kids to school with dirty ears, so is perfectly fine for you to go urgh about it.

This thread is for normal, everyday things which are fine, but which piss you off for some unfathomable reason.

<monica geller control freak re thread>

HRHPrincessReality Mon 13-Sep-10 11:16:34

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HRHPrincessReality Mon 13-Sep-10 11:17:19

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EccentricaGallumbits Mon 13-Sep-10 11:17:31

people drinking milk. ew ew ew ew ew. it is disgusting and there is no need at all. particualy men uilders who buy it in the garagead swig from the bottle.

HRHPrincessReality Mon 13-Sep-10 11:18:11

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GetOrfMoiLand Mon 13-Sep-10 11:18:27

People who order their steak well done. They are normally the people who go 'urgh' at my blue steak. I don't go 'urgh' at their plate of shoe leather.

Making milky tea. It is disgusting. Why have your tea milky?

HRHPrincessReality Mon 13-Sep-10 11:18:57

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Nancy66 Mon 13-Sep-10 11:19:16

For some reason I don't like it when I hear dads call their kids 'mate' ....sounds wrong.

QuiteFickleDobby Mon 13-Sep-10 11:19:31

People who lick yoghurt lids. Its just so greedy and desperate.

HRHPrincessReality Mon 13-Sep-10 11:19:41

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

good thread, sure I have hundreds but will need to remember them

GetOrfMoiLand Mon 13-Sep-10 11:20:19

lol at x posts with Eccentrica re milk.

Milky coffee with skin on. DP had a cappuccino yesterday sat outside a windy cafe. I watched as the wiond blew a great big milk skin on his coffee. He then DRANK the coffee, skin and all. i nearly gagged. I am NEVER kissing him again.

HRHPrincessReality Mon 13-Sep-10 11:20:32

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Thank you Nancy
Women calling each other "mate"
People calling each other "muppet"

GetOrfMoiLand Mon 13-Sep-10 11:21:56

OOh yes the yoghurt lids. WHY do that? Do you really need an extra 0.1mg of yoghurt? Licked off tin foil? How fucking empty is your life <works up head of steam re dairy products>

Nancy, you'd hate me, I call my DD mate (along with many other names). I can't bear high heeled shoes. Either for me or DD. I can't stand a face full of make up on the mums at the school gates. I almost feel sorry for juicy mum (tracksuit) who shows off her cellulite and camels toe spectacularly. I don't like breast implants when they are quite obviously fake (I understand there are instances where they improve peoples lives).

HRHPrincessReality Mon 13-Sep-10 11:23:03

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

I lick yoghurt lids, it's part of the fun

GetOrfMoiLand Mon 13-Sep-10 11:23:29

People describing things as 'lush'.

Reminds me of dd's food tech assignment where she had to describe how her cake looked when she had iced it, the teacher had written at the top of the assignment sheet in capitals 'DO NOT USE THE WORDS NICE OR LUSH' grin

GeekOfTheWeek Mon 13-Sep-10 11:23:53

People who interrupt me speaking to regale about their own anecdotes.

Have taken to tapping an imaginginary microphone and saying loudly 'Excuse me, is this thing on. Thought so, I was speaking first you rude bastard'

People who whistle nervously in lifts, just because they are uncomfortable with the silence. I mean, it's a lift, could you just shut the f*ck up for a few moments?

how about the phrase "it's all good"?

TheHeathenOfSuburbia Mon 13-Sep-10 11:24:43

People feel that my obsession with keeping the fridge door closed is unreasonable. But these are mostly people who like to stare into it in a trance for hours. Which is WRONG! <mad glint in eye>

Mniemmniem Mon 13-Sep-10 11:24:52

People eating with mouth open

being bothered by anyone when I'm in the bath

Expecting DH to know when it's my period and him acting accordingly with no sex pestering and lots of chocolate and sympathy

GetOrfMoiLand Mon 13-Sep-10 11:25:26

Mummys in playgrounds calling across 'darling...darling'

Just use his name you halfwit, there are 20 kids here and they are all darlings, yes we can see you are middle class by the clothes you are wearing, there is no need to speak so loudly so we can hear your RP accent.

Nancy66 Mon 13-Sep-10 11:26:32

"I'm good"

in response to 'how are you?'

PomPotty Mon 13-Sep-10 11:26:48

ooh can I join in too please!

People using the word chilax <cringing just typing it>

Shop assistants pestering me and asking if they can help or if I am looking for something in particular..... just leave me alone!! I'll ask if I need your help, what do you have to do to get some peace and quiet... sigh

HRHPrincessReality you comments on this thread are making me lol

i agree with the palming kids off to relatives, my neighbour does that and moans when she actually has them hmm

Honeydragon Mon 13-Sep-10 11:28:29

GetOrfMoiLand

Thankyou for the validation grin

I thought I was unreasonable because I keep seeing it.

Clearly I am the only reasonable person when it comes to hygiene at ds's school.

<<passes yoghurt top to Stealth>>

The fact that all three dses and dh will come and ask me one after another, what is for tea. FFS one of you come and ask, and then go and share the information with the rest. Or wait and see what turns up on the plate at tea time.

People who are naturally thin and can eat whatever they want - like my dh, who can eat 5 yumyums at a go, and still not put on weight, the selfish bastard!

Other people being on the roads when I am trying to get somewhere.

abitpearshaped Mon 13-Sep-10 11:29:28

Nicest bit of a low fat yoghurt is the bit on the lid. It's got a bit of fat in I think.

Honeydragon Mon 13-Sep-10 11:30:49

People who mention yumyums when I am hungry hmm

Honeydragon Mon 13-Sep-10 11:31:51

<<wails>>

I want a yum yum

GeekOfTheWeek Mon 13-Sep-10 11:32:50

People who answer their mobile during a medical consultation.

Fathers who start making calls before the placenta is even out.

I am so sorry, Honeydragon. I will now go and flagellate myself with a Walnut Whip, in penance! grin

TheCoalitionNeedsYou Mon 13-Sep-10 11:33:47

Ooh - licking yoghurt lids is one my pet hates. I don't know why, it sets my teeth on edge.

I'm generally anti-capital/corporal punishment, but I think people who let their dogs shot in the street should be shot in the face.

Oh, and IF YOU CAN'T TEXT WHILE WALKING AT A NORMAL SPEED JUST FUCKING STAND STILL.

TheCoalitionNeedsYou Mon 13-Sep-10 11:34:32

1st -shot = shit. I was obviously too keen to get to the shooting.

Honeydragon Mon 13-Sep-10 11:34:54

<<sucks filling out of walnut whip when StayingDavidTennantsGirl isn't looking>>

HowAnnoying Mon 13-Sep-10 11:35:37

people saying "happy days" when describing something good. It's very irratating.

People calling other people "dude"

the use of "LOL" especially in every fucking sentence of a text or email. It isn't funny.

Nancy66 Mon 13-Sep-10 11:35:55

Actually there's nothing particularly unreasonable about this - but I'll say it anyway. People who get to the top of the escalator....AND THEN JUST STAND THERE.

Move out of the way you dozy fuckers.

I've thought of another - the text alert tone on ds2's mobile - makes me want to rip it out of his hands and jump up and down on it until it is in flinders. And it goes off all the bloody time - and I should be pleased about it because it means he's got a big group of friends which is so much better than his last school where he had only one friend who bullied him - and never got any text messages - but still, that tone is like fingers down a blackboard.

And the dses listening to their mp3s in the car so they don't hear when we say something to them.

nickelbabe Mon 13-Sep-10 11:37:21

Reality - I agree with you about the fat thing - people who eat low-fat margarine!
why not, either have butter, but less of it, or nothing on your sandwiches?
When i have a sandwich i never have butter/spread on it, and I can still taste the filling!
(and i use butter in cakes and mashed potatoes etc)

<<looks sadly at empty walnut whip, wipes away a tear, and goes off for a shower because she is a lazy mare who has spent the morning on mumsnet instead of showering and getting on with the day>>

GeekOfTheWeek Mon 13-Sep-10 11:38:03

Totally agree nancy.

<contemplates spiked bullbars for the front of the pushchair to eliminate the bastards>

AlCrowley Mon 13-Sep-10 11:38:26

The smell of tea and coffee - makes me nauseous - and therefore the fact that every coffee shop ever feels the need to pump the smell of said coffee into the surrounding area making me gag. If it weren't for Amazon, I'd never be able to buy a book again, bleeding Waterstones/Costa gang up, I used to love book shops sad

Saying brought when you mean bought or the phrase "I done it"

People who drive significantly under the speed limit or who don't indicate

People eating with mouth open

The fact that my MIL feels the need to ring/skype DH at least daily if not more. He's been at work all day, I want him to myself now!!!

The fact that my freezer has broken down a week after I defrosted and refilled it!

QuiteFickleDobby Mon 13-Sep-10 11:38:32

People who tut behind me on escalators because I am stood still on it. Take your tutting to the sodding stairs and leave the escalators free for us lazy types.

GetOrfMoiLand Mon 13-Sep-10 11:39:07

Women who look after their DH's passport. So you have a bloke who looks at your gormlessly at passport control etc right at the start of your holiday, and makes you think evilly 'I am not your effing mother, look after you own passport' but you don't, as you want to make sure he doesn't leave said passport in the bar, on the side of the urinal, in the duty free shop.

Yes I am talking about myself here.

MrsLevinson Mon 13-Sep-10 11:39:29

Other people sneezing, unless it's one sneeze, done very discreetly.

People who block aisles in supermarkets with trolley/fat arse, or who dawdle in front of me with trolley.

People who say 'only 3 sleeps' when they are excited about something.

nickelbabe Mon 13-Sep-10 11:39:46

AlCrowley - finally, someone else who retches at the smell of coffee!
I had an author here on Saturday doing an event, and she had a flask of black coffee. the smell was all over the shop and i thought i was going to vmoit!

Nancy66 Mon 13-Sep-10 11:39:56

nickelbabe - I had lunch with my mum at the weekend. She ate some rich cheesey starter, lasagne, garlic bread and finished with cheesecake WITH CREAM....then kicked up a massive fuss because the restaurant didn't have any sweet n low for her coffee.

parkj83 Mon 13-Sep-10 11:40:05

DH not putting bowls/saucepans back in their respective cupboards, stacked neatly in size order.

DH flaming me for the mess in the kitchen, when all I've done is open the cupboard door, and said bowls/saucepans tumble out onto the floor, missing my foot by mm.

DH using my most hated and least used knife (the boning knife - why have one FFS?!) to cut up DS's sandwiches for lunch.

Boning knife flying out of the dishwasher when I pull out the top drawer, and impaling itself in the lino exactly where my foot was 2 milliseconds earlier.

I second the dog cleaning itself too - most disgusting noise ever!

nickelbabe Mon 13-Sep-10 11:40:26

oh, and Al, come to my shop - it never smells of tea or coffee!
grin

just lots of lovely lovely books....

nickelbabe Mon 13-Sep-10 11:40:49

Nancy - shock

QuiteFickleDobby Mon 13-Sep-10 11:41:20

Ooops Nancy - I do actually get off of the escalator...I don't just stand there!

TheCoalitionNeedsYou Mon 13-Sep-10 11:42:04

QuiteFickleDobby - If you are standing on the right YANBU, if you are standing on the left YABU.

AbsofCroissant Mon 13-Sep-10 11:42:29

People who have stupid stupid tunes as their ringtone and has said ringtone on while at work <<glares at stupid woman in next bank of desks>>

People who
- take up the whole pavement
- stop in the middle of the pavement for no apparent reason
- walk very very slowly, and don't get out of the way
- walk along, slowly, texting/checking their email
- walk along slowly, reading the Metro. I can guarantee you taht there is nothing that interesting in the Metro which warrants you having to read it once you get off the tube. Trust me on this
Can you tell I went to Oxford Street yesterday? grin

People who spit on the street
People who refer to others as "mate" (unless obviously, they are actually their friend, but even then, don't use it for me)
People who think that they are entitled, for no f*cking reason, to ask extensive questions about my personal life when they meet me for the first time <<glares at stupid Brazilian guy>>

ooh yes "only 3 sleeps" angry

I hate the smell of coffee too, but only milky coffee - I love black coffee. I especially hate the milky coffee smell when it's on someone's breath.

PortBlacksand Mon 13-Sep-10 11:43:15

Drivers who go 40 miles an hour on fab straight roads - and 40 miles an hour through villages with a 30/20 speed limit - they usually wear hats.

Women who moan about having put bit of weight on to me - where are their manners? I'm a size 16. These women are invariably skinny and run about 10k a day.

nickelbabe Mon 13-Sep-10 11:43:20

blimey, Abs is in a mood! grin wink

Lee32 Mon 13-Sep-10 11:43:59

Don't mind high heels (as long as I don't have to wear em) but get unreasonably peeved at seeing white high heels with black tights. Ditto skinny jeans & bare midriff with a pot belly hanging out (and it's not just the oldies... too many kids look like this these days, get a reality check and put a blouse over it FFS), anything on a web page that moves, aaaaggghhh just hold STILL and let me read willya, and (nerd alert) people saying something is unique when they only mean that it's unusual. There. Feel better now.

becaroo Mon 13-Sep-10 11:44:06

newborns in denim
pierced ears in children younger than 8
children in designer clothes
parents who let their children drink cola from a formula bottle
parents who buy their kids a £300 bike and dont get them a £10 safety helmet

GetOrfMoiLand Mon 13-Sep-10 11:44:46

<gag> at milky coffee breath

Pixie Lott. On the X Factor yesterday. As I was watching her a phrase my mum used to say came to mind - she is "a little madam"

AbsofCroissant Mon 13-Sep-10 11:45:25

Not as bad as usual, just still annoyed with the stupid Brazilian guy who kept on asking really personal questions (I'd only met him once, and apparently he'd seen me on the tube before) and when I refused to answer (as politely as possible) said "okay. I'll ask you about this properly when I next see you, even if it's on the tube". WHY?!

AlCrowley Mon 13-Sep-10 11:45:50

Ooh, non coffee smelling books grin

If your shop is anywhere near me nickelbabe, I'd be there like a shot.

QuiteFickleDobby Mon 13-Sep-10 11:47:52

Are there escalators in existence that you can actually pass a person on then Coalition?

I stand on the left! But only because I have my bag on my right shoulder and I live in constant fear of it being eaten by the mechanics of the escalator.

nickelbabe Mon 13-Sep-10 11:48:00

Sittingbourne.

nickelbabe Mon 13-Sep-10 11:48:24

i meant - my shop is in Sittingbourne, not that Sittingbourne annoys me!
grin

ivykaty44 Mon 13-Sep-10 11:48:29

my dd1 going clubbing - it means I have had to stop and knwo that I can never ever go clubbling again because I refuse to be seen dead in a club with my dd1 in the same venue and also the musci is far to loud nowehredays blushso I havn't been for a least 5 years now sad

spittimg footballers who get paid far to much money and then they spit and say yeah

muggglewump Mon 13-Sep-10 11:49:02

People who call their young sons little man, it gives me the creeps.

Men (mainly) who wear football shirts and think they look cool.

People who think because the team they support are doing well, makes them look good, I've never figured how that works, you don't play for them you knob.

I'm with the non yoghurt lickers too, it makes me feel sick.

Women who are constantly on a diet yet never lose weight.

AbsofCroissant Mon 13-Sep-10 11:50:02

QuiteFickle - YABVU then

The rule is - stand on the right, pass on the left, even if you have your handbag on the right shoulder.

You're not in London are you? If so, I fear for your life (especially at rush hour)

And yes, there are many, almost all on the tube line, escalators where you can pass.

Message withdrawn

Eggs, that's it. Eggs are horrible especially when one breaks in the box, you don't notice it and the rest of the shopping in your bag gets covered in snot. It happened to me on Saturday.

TheCoalitionNeedsYou Mon 13-Sep-10 11:50:51

QuiteFickle - I think the only place I've seen narrow escalatiors is Westfield - I'm taking the tube escalator as the standard escalator. You can even pass people with buggys on those.

oooh muggg you have reminded me
Men who tell footballers (usually through the TV) how to play - erm he is playing, you are sitting here drinking beer and ranting at the screen

Message withdrawn

GetOrfMoiLand Mon 13-Sep-10 11:51:52

OOh SPB re Pixie Lott - I had a mini-rant with another MNer a couple of days ago about her.

Didn't she love the attention and the power she had over that 16 year old welsh lad. 'I don't see where you will fit in in the industry' - what do you know about the industry, you're 12 angry. Plus, an industry which can fit in a thick, contrived, plastic soul essex girl with too much vibrato in her voice can surely fit in a dodgy warbler from Pontypridd.

TheCoalitionNeedsYou Mon 13-Sep-10 11:53:05

AbsofCroissant - I was trying to remember which side to stand on confused. I just follow the person in front of me whole avoiding taking in the details of my surroundings when on the tube...

yes that was the particular bit I was thinking of! Also whenever anyone new came out she had to have the first word - little madam!
And I kept thinking of her song (oh yes, I can only think of one, surely it's about time for her to fade back into obscurity??) that has a background of retching men.

BrightLightBrightLight Mon 13-Sep-10 11:53:37

my phone ringing. GO AWAY.

DH asking me to scratch his back.

Waiting for people to finish faffing at petrol stations so they can pull off.

AlCrowley Mon 13-Sep-10 11:53:42

Sittingbourne!!

Sadly, Sittingbourne is a) a long way away and b) far too close to the home of knobhead ex who left me to be with "my friend". His family live in Rainham.

Actually, there's a another for the list - My Ex. It's been years and years and many partners ago but the thought of him still makes me unreasonably angry.

People who whistle. All of them. Particularly when they are doing it standing behind me in a queue when there is nowhere for me to hide.

DastardlyandSmugly Mon 13-Sep-10 11:55:18

I'm with anyone on milk related things. Seeing someone drinking milk out of a bottle makes me want to vomit.

People who use the word random when it's not really necessary.

The next one is particular to me - the fact that DH will put empty milk cartons next to the recycling bin despite the fact that I have recently emptied it and it has loads of room for said carton.

FanjoForTheMammaries Mon 13-Sep-10 11:55:48

people who call at work wanting to make an appointment for a scale and polish/to have teeth cleaned,who ask for 'a clean' IABVU but it irks me.

bonnymiffy Mon 13-Sep-10 11:56:20

GOML DH/passport - yes I do that too. I would leave it to him as he is a grown man after all, but it's just not worth a trip to the Airport Lost Property/British Embassy quite frankly.

PortBlacksand Mon 13-Sep-10 11:56:43

She annoyed me too - stop gurning Pixie!!!

The woman on the news this morning who suddenly had a French accent blush - her phrasing was 'bad' French too hmm

Women in polo tops - unless it's a uniform. They bizarrely seem more butch the bigger the norks.

TheOldestCat Mon 13-Sep-10 11:56:47

Nickelbabe - '\m just down the road from Sittingbourne. Must pop into your shop.

(makes note to self to avoid drinking coffee beforehand)

AlCrowley Mon 13-Sep-10 11:57:41

Ooh yes, whistling - horrible noise.

And people who describe sports results/games as if they were actually playing. "We scored 3 goals" etc. No you didn't. They scored the goals, you sat on your fat arse in the pub and watched them!

CuppaTeaJanice Mon 13-Sep-10 11:57:44

People who put coffee in chocolate cake 'to bring out the chocolate flavour'.

No, it just makes the cake taste of revolting coffeeness so I don't want to eat it.

Sensibleness in boy toddlers - sensible haircuts, sensible names like James and Thomas. Neat, ironed shirts, chinos or corduroy slacks, sensible brown Clarks shoes. It's like they are mini middle aged men.

Message withdrawn

she was just showing off

"People who put coffee in chocolate cake 'to bring out the chocolate flavour'.

No, it just makes the cake taste of revolting coffeeness so I don't want to eat it.
"

YES
or the fact that if you want to put icing on cake you use apricot jam. I DON'T LIKE THE VILE STUFF. I use raspberry and it works fine. Also my Grandad went through a phase of making cakes without vital ingredients - flour or sugar or whatever. It's CAKE.

GeekOfTheWeek Mon 13-Sep-10 12:00:13

GetOrf, I do the passport thing too.

FanjoForTheMammaries Mon 13-Sep-10 12:00:35

swallowed-don't change for me., IABU grin

Was going to sart a thread about it, but it fits here

People who say " I had this dream last night..."

<eyes glaze over>

What do you say when people are telling you about your dreams? normally you can express shock, sympathy, delight etc, but this ISN'T REAL

In fact there are 2 responses:

"How strange"
or
"I wonder what that means"

Olifin Mon 13-Sep-10 12:03:40

People who walk slowly.

BaggedandTagged Mon 13-Sep-10 12:04:35

Carrot cake- fails to optimise either cake or carrots

Those personal mission statements that people have started putting at the top of their CVs- like "Highly motivated, self-starting, finance professional". I'll be the judge of that, thankyou.

Spam Facebook profile updates which make you feel churlish if you dont copy and paste about how much you miss everybody you've ever known who's now "passed on" (and why cant they just say "died"?)

muggglewump Mon 13-Sep-10 12:05:39

AlCrowley, I was about to continue on with thatgrin

People who say we, as if they are a part of the team. We played well, we're doing well this season etc.
No, the team are doing well, you are a supporter and haven't contributed anything to the scoring of the goals.

DastardlyandSmugly Mon 13-Sep-10 12:06:54

PortBlacksand that woman annoyed me too. Surely suddenly having a French accent hasn't ruined her whole life and changed her personality completely? There are worse thinks that could happen. She was far too 'woe is me'.

thereisalightanditnevergoesout Mon 13-Sep-10 12:06:57

People who make a big point of letting you go first/letting you out when you're driving, when you've already been sitting there for ages and there's a huge gap behind them so you could have got out by yourself anyway. Hate that.

People using 'myriad' incorrectly.

People saying 'legs akimbo' ugh.

Words like 'ginormous'.

People ringing my landline.

People leaving rubbish messages on home answer phone (i.e. one that doesn't actually say anything - e.g. 'It's me. OK?'

Same person ringing back 20 minutes leaving a really snotty message because you didn't realise previous message was urgent. Then saying that 'there's not much point having a phone if you don't answer it!' - well, yes there is - it's for me to make calls to people I want to speak and the answer phone is for me to find out if I want to speak to you.

And another phone related issue - when working in an office, why, oh why do colleagues insist on answering your phone when you have voicemail, to take the name and number of the person calling, but no message at all - so that you have to phone the person who called, find out what they wanted, hang up, go and find the information and ring them back again.

I'm feeling quite annoyed now.

Olifin Mon 13-Sep-10 12:07:40

Children wearing skinny jeans or 'jeggings'.

Olifin Mon 13-Sep-10 12:08:07

Men with hairstyles.

VinegarTits Mon 13-Sep-10 12:08:20

people who give their sons a number 2 hairsyle, sorry but they look like orphans, poor boys

nameymcnamechange Mon 13-Sep-10 12:08:53

People saying that threads about threads are not allowed on Mumsnet.

My ex-neighbour sweeping his drive every Saturday morning. Prissy fraek.

Wine with sweet foods, especially chocolate.

People with framed photos of their children up all over the house.

People who ask you to take your shoes off when you visit.

AlCrowley Mon 13-Sep-10 12:09:22

I've thought of another <grumpy cow alert>

The way my postman posts some of my mail through the door, then rings the bell for the stuff that won't fit/needs signing for. Why not just pass me the lot when I open the door and save is both a job?

grin @ Mugglewump. I have to resist asking them which position they played etc

Nancy66 Mon 13-Sep-10 12:10:20

I saw that woman on the telly too - who claimed she woke up one day with a French accent.

Just came across as an attention seeking loon to me.

QuiteFickleDobby Mon 13-Sep-10 12:11:50

Oh, I never knew about escalator etiquette. It is a good job I don't live in London!

Don't really know why I am worrying about it though - I usually take the lift, owing to 2 month old being in pram. No escalators here will take prams.

I have no major grievances about lifts so far.

Bechka Mon 13-Sep-10 12:11:54

People who refer to you as 'man'. As in, 'come on, man'. Arrrrrrggggggh. I am not a man! And we are not in America. Gah, makes me cross just thinking about it. One male friend in particular does this, and it is like fingers down a blackboard. Am going to have to go away and calm down.

minxofmancunia Mon 13-Sep-10 12:12:28

Yes the "we" talking about football teams irritates the s**t out of me along with..

Mums getting pissed and going clubbing with their teenage daughters. Wrong.

The "3 sleeps" thing again, childish and contrived

Writing "check" in between items when listing things as in "mobile, check, sunnies, check, purse check" etc etc. Arghhhh!

calling sunglasses "sunnies"

saying "it's a no no" "popping" anything anywhere as in "just pop it in the oven" saying "in a heartbeat" so bloody twee.

I'll think of loads more...

Message withdrawn

PortBlacksand Mon 13-Sep-10 12:13:06

I thought i was being harsh - glad she was annoying to others too. It wasn't so much the accent but she did the whole allo allo thing "Like, how yo say, it eees like this now - ow orrid" etc.

nickelbabe Mon 13-Sep-10 12:15:37

thank you Cat!

AlCrowley - I do mail order too....

nickelbabe Mon 13-Sep-10 12:16:02

(i meant guaranteed no coffee smell there....)

minxofmancunia Mon 13-Sep-10 12:16:21

people who call you back when you've sent them a text, if i'd wanted to bloody speak to you I would have phoned myself!

Prompting babies to say "ta" it's THANKYOU!!!!! angry

People who stop. Ever. Especially in supermarkets. Also on pavements.

muggglewump Mon 13-Sep-10 12:17:49

Facebook.

PortBlacksand Mon 13-Sep-10 12:18:38

Phoning mymobile, i can't get to it in time, then phoning my homephone while i'm listening to message on mobile, and leaving another message, then rephoning mobile again - Grrrrr.

Ken Bruce and Steve Wright - make way for someone better guys...

Facebook, I've never been a member nor would I want to be thank you.
LOL. Why. If the people who write/type LOL really do LOL as much as they claim, they belong in straightjackets.
Today it's also the turn of the Belgian airforce. I think they are having a practice or doing manoevres. why have they chosen my house to do them over. I nearly peed myself while I was having a quiet cigarette and they roared over.

GetOrfMoiLand Mon 13-Sep-10 12:20:07

Lol at others doing the passport thing.

I hate looking after it for him, but don't trust him not to lose it. Why? Am I that much of a passive agressive control freak? He has livedi n Spain and germany and spent about 20 years flying all over the place without my being there to comandeer his passport.

Next time we go on holiday I will let him he can look after his own passport (i know this won't happen)

GetOrfMoiLand Mon 13-Sep-10 12:21:08

<awaits vitriol from rest of thread due to my using 'lol' on last post>

DinahRod Mon 13-Sep-10 12:21:19

Perefectly reasonable things:

Women in high heels, walking in baby steps, in front of me.

People who walk down my drive clutching a clipboard/meter reader

Personalised number plates

nickelbabe Mon 13-Sep-10 12:22:18

ooh, Minx , that annoys me too!
I text because either a) i don't want a conversation, b) because i don't have time to talk now, or c) because i'm a total wuss who hates talking on the phone

GetOrfMoiLand Mon 13-Sep-10 12:23:01

People who drive Range Rovers. They cost about £70K. They are unspeakable ugly. If I had £70K to spend on a car I would NOT spend it all on something so vile. Plus I know how they are made. On the CHEAP.

YY to Facebook. Unless you are 15. If you are in your 30s and on facebook you are an idiot.

montoyadiary Mon 13-Sep-10 12:25:17

eek, guilty on thw skinny jeans on kids (stuff it i like them) and photos of my kids round the house (though who doesn't have those?)

hate people who remember everything i've ever said to them. spooks me out completely, don't you have a life of your own?

Just sneezed twice <apologies to whoever this bothers grin>. Am in privacy of own home though so is OK.

duchesse Mon 13-Sep-10 12:27:04

People who drive slowly when you're behind them, but speed up when you reach a safe overtaking place. Not sure how un/reasonable that is, after all they may do because do not feel sure of themselves as drivers.

Caravans and all their clobber.

Supermarket child seat protectors.

Well I'm OK then, GetOrf - because I am in my 40s and on facebook! grin

Also am in my 30s and on facebook grin. My mum is as well. Is in her 60s

TheCoalitionNeedsYou Mon 13-Sep-10 12:29:58

So many of you are so wrong about so many things...

GetOrfMoiLand Mon 13-Sep-10 12:29:59

The irony of my calling people an idiot, i can't write a thread title and I use lol all the time grin

perfumedlife Mon 13-Sep-10 12:32:36

Girls you are hysterical grin

Who knew we were so angry?

Ok, not sure if this is unreasonable reasonable but when i am in a restaurant and the waiter/waitress comes to take the order and says " What can i get YOU GUYS? " angry

I HATE THAT! I do not live in America, you are not American, this isn't Central Perk, stop trying to sound fucking coo, you sound stupid. I am a girl, a woman, i am not a fucking GUY.

QuiteFickleDobby Mon 13-Sep-10 12:32:41

Few more things:

Wet wipes are annoying. Especially the last few at the bottom of the packet that are really wet.

Checkout assistants who comment on every item they scan.

Left handed scissors. I am left handed but I just cannot use them.

minxofmancunia Mon 13-Sep-10 12:34:00

people on here (and rl) who claim their dcs would "never" do anything, I'm pretty sure dd would never run off out of sight she's such a cling on but one day she will and I'll be flummoxed. Your time will come ladies...

parents who make a huge fuss about how potty trained their dcs are then proceed to exclaim wildly at the shock of it when said child pisses all over the ball pool in soft play.

Note: Plonking your child on the potty every half hour just in case does not equal "potty trained"

HRHPrincessReality Mon 13-Sep-10 12:34:57

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Such language from Royalty, Princess!! grin

perfumedlife Mon 13-Sep-10 12:37:27

The noise some people make when swallowing, especially liquid. Urghhh.

Milk in tea, gag. Have it by all means but please don't breath it over me.

People who tell not very amusing anecdotes who then laugh loudly at the end.
Guilting you into laughing.

Seabright Mon 13-Sep-10 12:38:05

Voicemail and answerphones. Hate them. I usually don't want to talk to people and if they leave a message I feel obliged to. I won't let DP get one at home.

Also, Richard Bacon. What is the point?

perfumedlife Mon 13-Sep-10 12:39:40

Or when you are out/busy/not answering door, the person then calls and says in accusatory voice " Dont you answer your door then?'

Not if I am not in I don't, no. And even if i am, I might not want to see you, so why dont you take the hint like a normal person instead of dragging out a lie we both wont believe?

VinegarTits Mon 13-Sep-10 12:39:45

two tone hair styles (you know blonde at the front, brown at the back)

minxofmancunia Mon 13-Sep-10 12:40:30

perfumedlife so with you on the anecdotes thing...painful

Ditto (and this is dhs speciality) telling too long stories about everyday events. You don't need to tell me every line in that phone conversation with every nuance of voice just give me a SUMMARY.

VinegarTits Mon 13-Sep-10 12:40:43

ill fitting bras

perfumedlife Mon 13-Sep-10 12:41:05

Am with you there Vinegartits smile

VinegarTits Mon 13-Sep-10 12:41:56

bad teeth (no excuse for bad teeth, get the dentist)

GetOrfMoiLand Mon 13-Sep-10 12:42:09

Perfumed - I am the same.

I don't answer the door generally. I have been in teh kitchen before, someone knocks on the door (think it is some NPower man), I smile, he thinks I am answering teh door to him, just walk right past the door into the sitting room and shut the door.

I don't answer the landline either, ever. If someone complaisn I just say I never answer it, if you want to get hold of me text or call mobile.

montoyadiary Mon 13-Sep-10 12:43:25

ooh, and pants that wriggle and trousers that won't stay up.

VinegarTits Mon 13-Sep-10 12:43:28

M People (cant stand that group, Heather's voice makes me want to stab myself in the head with blunt objects)

im on a role...

minxofmancunia Mon 13-Sep-10 12:43:39

I don't answer the landline either getorf wish my parents would catch on to this fact

perfumedlife Mon 13-Sep-10 12:43:40

Oh yes Minxof, I get what the subject had for dinner, the night before the meeting, or was it after? Anyhoo (arrhh, hate anyhoo) it was the day i was wearing my brown coat, remember, you got it out the dry cleaners'

Just get to the fucking point, the life blood is ebbing away from me.

GetOrfMoiLand Mon 13-Sep-10 12:44:02

Ricky Gervais. Yes I know he is supposed to some kind of comedic messiah, but i think he is repugnant and vile.

I used to think he was funny - loved the Office. But then I watched some 'making of' the office, and heard Ricky Gervais laugh for the first time. Then I realised he is actually JUST LIKE David Brent, in real life. Been repulsed by him ever since.

VinegarTits Mon 13-Sep-10 12:45:04

skinny people saying i look so fat today

montoyadiary Mon 13-Sep-10 12:45:22

speaking of repugnant and vile. woody allen. bleugh...

GetOrfMoiLand Mon 13-Sep-10 12:45:37

Oh, men with curly hair. Especially those with posh accents a la Sebastian Faulks or Valentine Warner

Ew Ew Ew <paris hilton emoticon>

perfumedlife Mon 13-Sep-10 12:46:15

Ahhh, feel much better now. Blood pressure restored to normal, off to do some light housework.

Thanks for that girls, most therapeutic.smile

MayorNaze Mon 13-Sep-10 12:46:34

people who pronounce "th" as "f" - ie the becomes fuh, three becomes free

people wearing sportswear when they are clearly not intending to ever do any sort of sport ever

people with inconsistent food preferences ie liking cheese on crackers, jacket potato, pizza and pasta but refusing cheese sandwiches. yes ds, i do mean you angry

i have phase 8 and monsoon frocks blush

and am definitely under 50 blush

i would defy you to identify said frocks as those makes though...

montoyadiary Mon 13-Sep-10 12:47:56

any letter from the inland revenue, the sight of one always fills me with dread, even if it's something innocuous

MayorNaze Mon 13-Sep-10 12:48:01

amanda redman

she just looks smug to me

i'm sure she's very nice really

montoyadiary Mon 13-Sep-10 12:50:15

men wearing scarves like spooks actor did on who do you think you are, gone off him so much i can't even remember his name

GetOrfMoiLand Mon 13-Sep-10 12:52:11

Mayor - perhaps it is all Amandas, they are all vile.

Redman
Holden
De Cadanet <scrapes barrel, can think of no more Amandas, vile or not>

Now Mayor - your Phase 8 dresses are not some pink devoré nightmare, and the Monsoon ones are not jade green with a slight hippy vibe, then? grin

Dh asking me a question and then not bloody listening to the answer, and asking the same question 10 minutes later!!

Ds2 ringing me from his mobile, getting no answer, and then switching his bloody phone off so that when I see I've missed a call from him and call him back, I get his bloody voicemail.

I'll think of more! grin

PortBlacksand Mon 13-Sep-10 12:53:51

Clipped smug voices on women - think Arabella Wier and Lisa Tarbuck.

Food intolerance instead of 'proper' allergies. Food preferences instead of food intolerances.

GetOrfMoiLand Mon 13-Sep-10 12:53:53

SDTG my DP does that with his phone. The swine.

MrsMadWriggle Mon 13-Sep-10 12:54:27

People who take a big gulp from a cold drink and go "Aaah" in a loud voice (yes, DFather I mean you).

People who stand motionless in front of a supermarket display and don't move their trolley so you can get through.

It should be a capital offence, GetOrf!

VinegarTits Mon 13-Sep-10 12:56:01

men who carry their keys/phone on their belt

AbsofCroissant Mon 13-Sep-10 12:56:08

Agree re: Ricky Gervais. He's just hideous

I will also add - people trying to raise money, who I don't know, who then try to get said money off me. At work, I get TONS of these stupid emails saying things like "Blah Blah is doing what?!" and then a long long email about their trek to the Himalayas, and how they want money. I have NO idea who you are, and don't care (have received three emails over the last few days, from someone who I don't know/care about, updating me on his trip in the mountains somewhere. DON'T CARE).

Or even worse - people who barely speak to you, and then suddenly get all buddy buddy when they need something/are trying to raise money <<narrows eyes at NZ [a person, not the country>>

PortBlacksand Mon 13-Sep-10 12:56:53

montoyadiary - i think that was to show off his newly found Indian heritage grin. It got longer and flowy-er as the episode went on.

"People who stand motionless in front of a supermarket display and don't move their trolley so you can get through." - Yes! does any one else want to yell "IT'S ONLY BUGGERING BOG ROLL HOW HARD CAN IT BE TO CHOOSE?????? YOU ARE ONLY GOING TO WIPE YOUR ARSE ON IT" in their ear?

MayorNaze Mon 13-Sep-10 12:57:07

grin my phase 8 is gorgeous actually, though is jade green wink - is evening dress. i think it would be a little daring for the average 50+ tbh <<awaits pelting with tena lady pads>> you do need norks for phase 8 though, i had to get it taken in

monsoon is standard jumper dress <<wafts patchouli>>

i don't think i actually know anyone called amanda in rl hmm

Adair Mon 13-Sep-10 12:57:51

SPB (and others) yes about Pixie Lott. I don't get it . Dh and I are convinced she is a Saatchi and Saatchi artwork about the fakeness of celebrity. She is everywhere and has just... nothing.

Mine is Lemsip/cold & flu drinks though. I get irrationally annoyed when people have one, it's so pointless and doesn't actually do anything. It's only to say 'ooh, look, I'm ill,me'. Mind you, could be exacerbated by the fact I am not allowed them at the moment.

VinegarTits Mon 13-Sep-10 12:57:58

Teachers who talk to you like youre one of their pupils, or call you 'mum' instead of 'mrs tits'

Nancy66 Mon 13-Sep-10 12:57:59

People who say 'noo' - instead of 'new'

thereisalightanditnevergoesout Mon 13-Sep-10 12:58:09

GetOrf I totally know what you mean about Ricky Gervais. He's so not funny and not acting. I thought I was alone...

And MayorNaze - I once went out with someone who couldn't say 'fishfingers' he used to say, 'fish*thingers*' (Oh, how it would annoy me, and it was one of many reasons he became and ex). I couldn't understand, given that he had such a speech impediment, he went on to call his son 'Finley'.

thereisalightanditnevergoesout Mon 13-Sep-10 13:00:04

Nancy - where I live (in Norfolk) most people say 'noo' instead of 'new'. If you were named 'Hugh' you would become 'Hoo'. Very unattractive accent, mostly.

GetOrfMoiLand Mon 13-Sep-10 13:00:08

I just dismiss Phase 8 as somewhere that portly women would go to buy their mother of the bride/rotary club dinner dance outfits.

And I refuse to go into Monsoon since someone tried to get me to buy a purple feather boa in there once.

stillbobbysgirl Mon 13-Sep-10 13:00:18

Girls who do that flappy thing at their faces to show you they are trying soooo hard not to cry.

Any screechy girls.

B52s Mon 13-Sep-10 13:00:25

men with wet lips (creepy)
when DH coughs and tries to talk through it
mixing the colours in play-doh - THIS IS JUST WRONG

AlCrowley Mon 13-Sep-10 13:00:31

Went for lunch and came back to 3 more pages!!! shock

Still, it's given me time to come up with some more

Agree on the two-tone haircuts. Horrible

The way my veg box has had Beetroot in it for the past 300 weeks running. There is only so much beetroot I can stand and I've had enough. I even attempted Beetroot chocolate brownies! They were OK except the tasted mostly of BEETROOT!!!

The way I have bought my DD 2 different climby-up type toys and yet she still insists on climbing up me at every opportunity!!

<<PS - do you have a website nickelbabe?>>

spybear Mon 13-Sep-10 13:02:31

PIXIE LOTT

AlCrowley Mon 13-Sep-10 13:03:20

Men with long nails

AlCrowley Mon 13-Sep-10 13:03:40

Show me, Show me!

VinegarTits Mon 13-Sep-10 13:04:17

women who slick their hair back into a pony/bun and just have one strand of hair hanging over their face

montoyadiary Mon 13-Sep-10 13:04:55

ditto alcrowley. and i can cook. who would want to make such vile recipes?

parkj83 Mon 13-Sep-10 13:04:57

People who talk with phlegm stuck in their throat...

Just cough it up properly!!

AlCrowley Mon 13-Sep-10 13:06:34

I Can Cook is at least partially more edible than Big Cook Little Cook.

It doesn't need the daft songs though

montoyadiary Mon 13-Sep-10 13:07:15

or even recipies

stillbobbysgirl Mon 13-Sep-10 13:07:28

Its first week back at college in our university town so local Sainsburys is full of gangs of dopey looking students all walking around together with one trolley for all 5 of them - loudly comparing prices of everything they are buying and taking up too much room in the aisle.

Then they push the trolleys home because they are too fucking weedy to carry 8 bags between 5 of them, and leave abandoned trolleys all over town.

Jazmyn Mon 13-Sep-10 13:07:51

people not shutting cupboard doors........ <<growls>>

HowAnnoying Mon 13-Sep-10 13:08:32

long nails.

AlCrowley Mon 13-Sep-10 13:08:38

You were right the first time montoyadiary.

I always think it's needs an extra i too so have had to train myself out of putting it in.

Poledra Mon 13-Sep-10 13:08:44

People who park in my spot in the work car park - unreasonable because it's not really my spot, just one that's easy to get in and out of, does not have a tree that mugs you as you get out the car and is just the right distance from the office to give me a nice walk before I sit on my arse all day.

<sidles up to MayorNaze>

I have 2 Phase8 dresses - a plain black wrap one I wear for work, and a black and white evening dress. They're lovely and I'm definitely not over 50. Don't listen to that GetOrf, she's an opinionated bitch who <whispers> goes commando under her jeans shock

stillbobbysgirl Mon 13-Sep-10 13:09:03

danny dyer

montoyadiary Mon 13-Sep-10 13:09:30

men with fleshy lips <shudder>

HowAnnoying Mon 13-Sep-10 13:09:50

gel in kids hair and this weird mullett fashion for boys thats doing the rounds at the moment.

AlCrowley Mon 13-Sep-10 13:10:26

second stillbobbysgirl! Danny 'what a twat' Dire

I have Monsoon dresses - my MIL buys them for me hmm

SarahJim Mon 13-Sep-10 13:10:26

Wobbly teeth. No I don't want to see it, however little you are.

nickelbabe Mon 13-Sep-10 13:10:30

inspired by the salewoman who has just been trying to sell me accident insurance cover:

people who put their hand out for you to shake and it's just limp and lifeless - ladies in the 18th century put their limp hand like that, not 21st century women! either shake my hand properly or keep it to yourself!

SarahJim Mon 13-Sep-10 13:13:50

Oh, and montoyadiary me too with the men with fleshy lips - I thought it was just me. Yuk yuk yuk.

"stillbobbysgirl Mon 13-Sep-10 13:00:18
Girls who do that flappy thing at their faces to show you they are trying soooo hard not to cry."

YES that would have been one of mine, if I had thought of it first. I blame Jennifer Aniston for that.

GetOrfMoiLand Mon 13-Sep-10 13:15:32

lol Poledra grin <paranoid about using lol now>

Do you buy slacks from Country Casuals as well?

Am loving the Pixie Lott loathing. Do you reckin she is really called Pixie? I bet she is called Lindsay, or Claire, or something.

She is so contrived. I remember once listening to her warble on on Radio 1s live lounge, my god she cannot sing live. She just goes ahahahahahahaahah quivery voice and thinks she sounds like Aretha Frankin. She is the spiritual heir to fucking Duffy.

AlCrowley Mon 13-Sep-10 13:16:40

Her name is Victoria

Not sure how I know that confused

I wonder whether Simon Cowell checked if that was the name on her birth certificate before calling her that?

GetOrfMoiLand Mon 13-Sep-10 13:17:19

OOh yes SarahJim - wobbly teeth.

I hated that part of motherhood 'mum I've got a wobbly tooth' <cue me running off 'don't bloody well show me'

I have a box still full of dd's milk teeth, it makes me shudder everytime I see it and I never open it.

Why do i still have it actually, is that normal?

AlCrowley Mon 13-Sep-10 13:17:51

Confirmed "Pixie Lott (born Victoria Louise Lott; 12 January 1991)"

Thanks Wikipedia

Have started her anti fan club thread I thought it deserved its own area

Poledra Mon 13-Sep-10 13:21:49

"Do you buy slacks from Country Casuals as well? "

Of course, and I buy proper knickers to go underneath them, none of your thongs or such like, a good pair of armpit-huggers, that's what you need, what with the nights drawing in and the winter coming............

<wanders off muttering about nice warm vests and p'raps some longjohns>

SarahJim Mon 13-Sep-10 13:23:06

GetOrfMoiLand, my DH keeps the old teeth of our kids -I can't even look in the box! It just makes me think of those awful pictures of piles of teeth from wars and concentration camps.

Also though, those plaster casts you get of your baby's hands or feet - It is only me who thinks that just says 'Pompeii'?

GetOrfMoiLand Mon 13-Sep-10 13:24:20

OOh stealth, well done.

HOW can someone born in 1991 be a pop star?

<old>

noeyedear Mon 13-Sep-10 13:28:28

I hate celebs ( mainly female) who go on food programmes when clearly they have ishoos with anything with more than 2 calories in and pick at the food with a horrified look on their face- It's a food programme silly cow- just EAT SOMETHING!

People who say goodbye about 5 times quickly before you leave.

The postman just did it - handed my parcels and say "CheersThanksVeryMuchThanksALotSeeYouBye!"

specialmagiclady Mon 13-Sep-10 13:28:58

Lots of bells being rung here but the big one that's made me go "EEEEEEW" is "passed on". Died. Dead. It's okay. I mean, it isn't, but euphemising it isn't going to change anything.

I used to have a friend who used to say "make love" about one night stands, FFS. Shagging, rutting, fucking, porking, screwing but NEVER making love!

Also: hiccups, sniffing, repeated sneezing (so often accompanied by sniffing... double aargh!)

silverten Mon 13-Sep-10 13:29:27

Relatives who get arsey, when at your party, about exactly when the champagne should be opened and how you should drink it.

It's my party. I paid for the sodding champagne. Don't be so bloody serious about the stupid stuff. If you don't want to drink it with your food, don't. If you don't want to make a frivolous cocktail out of it, don't.

But don't chuck a wobbler because we are having some fun being silly with it.

specialmagiclady Mon 13-Sep-10 13:29:52

Also: Perfectly reasonable things ABOUT WHICH you are perfectly unreasonable....

but that's hitting splairs... .

FakePlasticTrees Mon 13-Sep-10 13:29:53

kissing on the nose.

Conversations when one people involved is on the toilet. (Do not try to talk to me through the door, I will not respond)

Amazon recommendations for me.

boogeek Mon 13-Sep-10 13:29:59

Agree about the flappy thing to stop yourself crying - wtf.
Also men with wet flappy lips <shudder>
I must add: people who pronounce the names of places in the local accent, eg "Amanda and I went to Paree for the weekend" (agree re Amandas)

laurely Mon 13-Sep-10 13:33:13

Oh the dog licking it's arse noise. Thought it was just me who can't stand it

Seriously, it makes me heave.

GetOrfMoiLand Mon 13-Sep-10 13:36:14

OOh special blush

Oh the shame. I am surprised that the pedants have not yet been on this thread to spear me on their pitchforks. grin

hmmSleep Mon 13-Sep-10 13:36:28

Visitors putting their handbags on the table and coats on the back of chairs, OK there's nowhere else to put them, but it's still bloody annoying, perhaps I could ask them to leave them outside, on the floor...?

muggglewump Mon 13-Sep-10 13:36:43

People who want to emigrate to Australia/Florida/Bendorm and think that selling their two bed terrace in Scunthorpe will buy them a 5 bed with pool, and they'll never have to work again and will spend their whole life on the beach, oh and that it'll never rain.
Hahahaha, you numb fuck.

nickelbabe Mon 13-Sep-10 13:37:25

FAkePlasticTrees- I keep getting bloody emails from Amazon saying daft things like "you are interested in Elmer Toys (for example) - well have look at the Elmer Toys on sale in our toy section!"
what, you mean, the Elmer Toys that I've listed for sale? that's why i'm interested in them! stop trying to sell me my own stuff!!!!

MayorNaze Mon 13-Sep-10 13:37:32

yy to convos on the lav

my exboss used to follow you in there and continue talking about policies while you were both on the can shock

commando with jeans shock chafing and humid simultaneously one would imagine

actually you can add people who don't wear undies to the list. i love a good knicker, me.

TheUnmentioned Mon 13-Sep-10 13:38:14

Ive only read up to page 6 (which I suspect would piss some of you!) but mine are:

om nom nom angry

people calling me mum when I am not their bloody mum (ie nursery teacher, doctor etc)

people who have kid(s) who sleep perfectly / eat perfectly / behave perfectly and think it is entirely down to their parenting.

people who eat custard with fruit <shudder>

white / cream prams or pushchairs

ponytails on toddler girls which contain approximately 3 hairs.

Argos adverts

Olifin Mon 13-Sep-10 13:38:24

Net curtains.

Olifin Mon 13-Sep-10 13:40:12

Oooh dear; I say om nom nom. Is that wrong? It probably is annoying now I think about it. blush

Serendippy Mon 13-Sep-10 13:40:16

People who miss out words from their title.

People who are monica-geller-style obsessive about playing the game correctly.

People with country accents who say 'orf' instead of 'off'.

grin

Oooh, and spikey plants lining the path to someone's house. Just put a sign up saying 'bugger off' if you don't want visitors, no need to try and make them bleed on the way to your door.

MayorNaze Mon 13-Sep-10 13:42:27

people who drive ridiculously short distance without any medical exmeption whatsoever

mrs lady-who-lives-behind-us - you can SEE school from your drive - you spend enough time poncing about in your gym gear to be demonstrably fit yet you insist on driving your yummy mummy mobile 200m to the school gate. WHY????

<<breathes>>

muggglewump Mon 13-Sep-10 13:42:36

Oooh, and whilst on the subject the same people who want to emigrate because this country has too many immigrants.
Erm what do you think you'll be when you emigrate to the Costa Del Fried Breakfast?hmm

AlCrowley Mon 13-Sep-10 13:42:47

The fact that I have to change my veg box order 2 days before it's delivered not the night before when I remember!

PortBlacksand Mon 13-Sep-10 13:43:02

people (women)who say 'you've got him well trained' if i mention DH was doing the ironing / washing / cooking tea angry

Horsebrasses

GetOrfMoiLand Mon 13-Sep-10 13:43:30

Seren, you so don't know me, the 'orf' is Nancy Mitford posh, not country oik <lies>

grin

Mayor - no, commando doesn't mean chafing and humidity. I don't wear clothes made of tent fabric, and it isn't Thailand down my drawers, cheers. grin

hmmSleep Mon 13-Sep-10 13:43:44

GetOrf, my niece recently found a box full of teeth my sister had kept, when my niece triumphantly piped up 'ha ha, I know there isn't really a tooth fairy', my sister responded, 'ha ha, life just got a bit cheaper for me!' grin.

GetOrfMoiLand Mon 13-Sep-10 13:45:03

All inclusive holidays.

Drinks in plastic glasses and unidentiable buffet (urgh) food.

Nope.

MayorNaze Mon 13-Sep-10 13:45:52

oh gosh that was actually true then shock

my whole perception of you has changed grin

TheUnmentioned Mon 13-Sep-10 13:46:58

Olifin - yes it is very annoying <murderous look>

desist

Olifin Mon 13-Sep-10 13:48:15

I shall do my best TheUnmentioned grin

Serendippy Mon 13-Sep-10 13:50:14

<adds>

fake super duper posh accents where people say 'orf' instead of 'off'

Better? wink

Lovely tables with a horrible plastic tablecloth on. I am 31! I am not going to spill anything on your precious table! (Actually, I might, but who buys furniture that is too posh to use?)

Olifin Mon 13-Sep-10 13:50:17

People who refer to their partner as 'she who must be obeyed' or 'my better half'. Yuck.

Nail extensions; especially those with jewels stuck on them. What is that about?

Fake tan, obviously.

puddlepuss Mon 13-Sep-10 13:53:48

"I was talking to Janet on Thursday, or was it Friday, nope, definitely Thursday... I think, it could have been Friday actually. Or perhaps it was Wednesday? I know I spoke to Daphne on Tuesday and it was definitely after that so... yes, it was Thursday, or Friday. What day did it rain? Thursday? Well then, it could have been Thursday. Anyway, she said her car needed a wash so.....no, it was Friday...I think"

Arrrgghhh, I don't fucking care what day it was. I don't know her or care about her and it makes absolutely no fucking difference to me which bloody day it was.

nickelbabe Mon 13-Sep-10 13:55:07

most of the posh people i know live in the country, so it works as both for me.

orf is awful though (unless ironically)
DH uses it - it sounds odd.

His nibs. An acquaintance used this to describe her DH the other evening. I nearly choked.
Children with highlighted hair, those of around my DD's age of 9. The parents have paid for it and IMO shouldn't be supporting it.
Those peculiar boot/shoe stiletto hybrid things that are fashionable at the moment. They are just fugly.

QuiteFickleDobby Mon 13-Sep-10 13:57:13

Also puddlepuss - "My mates brothers wifes neices sons cat has just been run over"

"Someone I know/know of..." surely would suffice.

BlingLoving Mon 13-Sep-10 13:57:43

People who don't use up all available space while queuing, getting on trains etc.

[although possibly, that's not an unreasonable irritation?]

Men who announce 'We're pregnant!'.

Anyone over 25 with downloaded music ringtone

Toddlers with pierced ears

People trying to tell you about their 'really weird dream' <yawn>

Grown men and young children in full football strips. Why? Do me and DD go out and about in a netball kit? No we do not.

Being asked with disdain if I 'need a bag' when I clearly do, by shop assistants.

Anyone over 20 'snogging' in public. Get a room - oh wait you don't have to, you're both adults and probably have a nice flat somewhere....use it.

Oh I feel much better now, thank you for this thread

nickelbabe Mon 13-Sep-10 13:58:53

the word "fugly"

saw it on a film once - thought it the most vile made-up word ever.

just say "fucking ugly" if that's what you're thinking!
wink

LittleCheesyPineappleOne Mon 13-Sep-10 13:59:10

brides who have up-do's with 'tendrils'.

Ditto tiaras. You are not Lady Di.

GetOrfMoiLand Mon 13-Sep-10 14:00:16

I don't actually sound like eithr Nancy Mitford or Worzel Gummidge - I use my name just because I was trying to think of a new one, and someone (morningpaper iirc) suggested it, as I am from Devon.

Just have a normal neutral english accent.

Why do I feel the need to explain this? grin

LOL @ Puddlepuss. You are so right - in fact ANY superfluous information is fucking annoying. I have two small DC's and no time, so if you want to tell me something, make it flipping snappy

GetOrfMoiLand Mon 13-Sep-10 14:03:57

Totally agree with bridal tiaras.

Also strapless wedding dresses. You are going to have 1000s of photos taken of you. Strapless dresses give you a vile profile of squidly fat under your armpit no matter what your size. Wear a dress with sleeves or straps, dumbass.

AlCrowley Mon 13-Sep-10 14:04:06

The fact that everyone else has fab MN names and mine is rubbish

DinahRod Mon 13-Sep-10 14:04:23

tv award shows - who cares?

DinahRod Mon 13-Sep-10 14:06:11

grin @ "Grown men and young children in full football strips. Why? Do me and DD go out and about in a netball kit? No we do not."

Antalya1 Mon 13-Sep-10 14:07:47

people that tell me joyishly that it's only xx weeks to Christmas

Serendippy Mon 13-Sep-10 14:09:29

Don't explain yourself, GOML, it is just one of those things. It is a lovely name, just farmerly enough that people think you are cuddly and in love with nature, just threatening enough to make people think twice before messing. Perfect.

Furry toilet seat covers.

BlingLoving Mon 13-Sep-10 14:10:40

People who announce other people's baby's birth on facebook! I concede that many of those parents don't care as they've already texted/called/emailed 500 of their closest friends. But it still infuriates me.

turtle23 Mon 13-Sep-10 14:13:18

Have not read through so don't know if it's been said..but the protective plastic film being left on things like remotes and phones drives me insane. IT LOOKS HORRID and how much protection do you really need?

LittleCheesyPineappleOne Mon 13-Sep-10 14:14:23

people who get narky when little old ladies misidentify the sex of their baby - all babies look unisex for ages; deal with it.

puddlepuss Mon 13-Sep-10 14:14:30

People saying "OMG!". The announcer at the end of neighbours just did it and dh is lucky the tv is still in one piece.

And I hate having to go to the toilet. I know everyone has to but why is it always as soon as you've sat down, got comfy, found a good thread on MN to get into and then your bladder goes, "umm, excuse me, but you've had 2 kids so this could get messy if you don't go NOW". Bastard bladder.

<stomps off the the toilet muttering>

QuiteFickleDobby Mon 13-Sep-10 14:17:54

When asked when my new baby was born loads of people have replied "Oh, thats my <insert random relative/friend> birthday" or worse "Oh, thats 3 days before/after my <insert random relative/friend> birthday.

WHY?

Euphemia Mon 13-Sep-10 14:20:02

People who have to suck in when they drink tea or soup: open your mouth, pour, and gravity will take care of rest. The consequent exhalation also bugs me.

Also people who have to make a noise/groan when they yawn (yes I mean YOU, DH, lying in your pit at 7am while I was running about getting DD and self ready).

MrsMadWriggle Mon 13-Sep-10 14:20:16

brown food from iceland (the shop not the country)

GetOrfMoiLand Mon 13-Sep-10 14:20:57

OOh yes big posh prawns.

evenkeel Mon 13-Sep-10 14:21:12

Tautologies like 'THE hoi polloi' (when 'hoi polloi' already means 'the many') and 'the HIV virus' (when the 'V' of HIV stands for 'virus'). I used to be irked by 'TSB Bank' too, when it still existed. But I'm fighting a losing battle with these, I realise sad

Blind rage also builds up in me when people talk about 'UK' without the definite article, as in 'I came back to UK' or 'I live in UK now'.

And as for people who ask you 'how are you spelling that?'.....I spell it the way it's spelt ffs angry

I know. I should get out more. Or maybe stay in <retreats back into safety of pedants' corner>

Euphemia Mon 13-Sep-10 14:21:31

People who spend 10 minutes telling you about some trivial incident (e.g., choosing yogurt at Morrisons) then interrupt you constantly when you're actually saying something of import. angry

MayorNaze Mon 13-Sep-10 14:23:16

ooh
tautology may be my word of the day

soapydishcloth Mon 13-Sep-10 14:25:13

People (MIL mostly) referring to clothes as "little" as in "That's a nice little jacket". No it's not sodding little, it's my great big fuckoff £500 before the sale kicked in suede jacket thanks very much.

People who put food on my plate. I serve meals in big pots in the middle of the table so everyone can help themselves. I don't want to get something else from the oven only to turn back and find someone has helpfully loaded my plate with broccoli.

GetOrfMoiLand Mon 13-Sep-10 14:26:26

OOh yes tautologies. Like MOT test.

I have to complete a form at work called a Hire Assessment Form. Eceryone calls it a HAF form. I have to stop myself from saying 'actually you only have to call it a HAF' because to do so would make me sound like Adrian Mole.

MeMudmagnet Mon 13-Sep-10 14:28:14

The use of lol.

Fat people who say they don't eat much/eat unhealthily. (I'm not skinny btw because I like cake)

Trainers worn with jeans.

Football tops. (DH is away and I've hidden them all grin

People who say,"Nights are drawing in" in August

Facebook

hmmSleep Mon 13-Sep-10 14:29:13

Posters using words I've never heard of so I have to go and look them up, taking up valuable brain space. <when am I ever going to need the word taut-bloody-ology again>

MayorNaze Mon 13-Sep-10 14:29:55

sugar on cereal is, IMO, unreasonable. it has sugar IN, for goodness sake.

i nearly died last night when i saw the ad for choc chip weetabix. and we wonder why obesity is on the rise...

ant3nna Mon 13-Sep-10 14:30:16

People who think the T in MOT stands for test grin

MayorNaze Mon 13-Sep-10 14:30:44

GetOrf i expect Pandora was the type to go sans pants...

nickelbabe Mon 13-Sep-10 14:31:20

ooh, yes, I'm spelling it "dvjkwerio", but it's actually spelt "peanuts"
angry

MayorNaze Mon 13-Sep-10 14:31:25

i am wearing jeans and trainers today blush

but in a very retro, stylish manner. honest.

nickelbabe Mon 13-Sep-10 14:33:19

MayorNaze - i too was in shock over chocolate weetabix.
but i do put chocolate on my normal weetabix and on my special K - because they taste odd without it.
(as i found out on Saturday when DH made me weetabix without sugar - i thought i was eating shredded what [bleurgh] )

nickelbabe Mon 13-Sep-10 14:34:01

and yes, my DH does make me breaksfast on his day off.
i'm very spoilt.
but i deserve it.
[nur]

mayorquimby Mon 13-Sep-10 14:34:38

add ATM machine and PIN number to the list.

evenkeel Mon 13-Sep-10 14:36:25

I was in the queue at my local railway station the other week and the dreaded 'how are you spelling that?' question was asked of the person in front of me. They wanted to go to Wrexham. Guess how the ticket-clerk was spelling it? hmm

nickelbabe Mon 13-Sep-10 14:38:00

i think i would spell it Recksum

GetOrfMoiLand Mon 13-Sep-10 14:40:11

<opens window>

<hurls self out>

ant3nna - I am suitably blush

What was I thinking?

What a twat I am etc.

MayorNaze Mon 13-Sep-10 14:42:46

chocolate for breakfast should only come in the form of an easter egg, at easter, when the dcs do not see you grin

how on earth do you put chocolate on weetabix?? do you spread it with nutella or what??

MayorNaze Mon 13-Sep-10 14:43:49

weetabix is the only cereal allowed with sugar in this house. and the sugar is administered by me <<evil>>

my name is actually miss hannigan grin

naturalbaby Mon 13-Sep-10 14:45:28

people with one or two randomly long finger nails (especially youngish men with long floppy hair and dopey expressions)
cars/vans abaondoned where ever the driver feels like it, blocking the view of any passing car - inviting an accident cause nobody can see past offending vehicle. but it's o.k - the driver has put their hazard lights on!
groups of cyclists riding 2 or more next to eachother - especially when there is a perfectly good cycle lane that the council has spend thousands on to keep the cyclists off the road so we can drive up the road without fear of knocking them into the ditch.
random old people talking to my grizzly kids in the supermarket ''ooo, you're not happy are you??''. how is commenting on their grizzlyness helping anyone?!?

annec555 Mon 13-Sep-10 14:47:17

Haven't read the whole thread so this may have been done before...

Women putting on their full face of makeup on the train. I don't know why but it makes me want to throw them off the train, mascara and all!

undercovamutha Mon 13-Sep-10 14:47:47

People who offer you solutions to your moans. Such as if you said 'God, I'm so busy in work!' and they say 'Well, maybe you'd find it easier if you wrote a list of all the things you need to do and prioritise them.....yadda yadda yadda'.

Surely anyone with any sense knows that the answer to 'God, I'm so busy' is 'Oh no, nightmare, hope you get things sorted' - or something of that sort. If a solution was required you would have said in the first place 'I'm so busy at work, what could I do to make things easier?'.

Grr!

Acanthus Mon 13-Sep-10 14:50:10

Go on then - what DOES the T in MOT stand for?

ant3nna Mon 13-Sep-10 14:52:26

MOT = Ministry of Transport.

My family would probably suggest annoying know-it-alls while giving me the look wink

AlCrowley Mon 13-Sep-10 14:52:41

Transport

It should actually be an MoT test - little o - Ministry of Transport test

Damn - ant3nna got there before me. smile

It stands for 'Ministry of Transport' grin

I'm well in the know me!

AlCrowley Mon 13-Sep-10 14:53:39

and me. Shouldn't have double checked sad

thereisalightanditnevergoesout Mon 13-Sep-10 14:56:03

Transport, isn't it - as in Ministry of Transport. So test is OK, surely?

Euphemia Mon 13-Sep-10 14:56:05

Transport The whole thing is short for Ministry of Transport. So actually it's wrong to say "My car needs an MOT" - you should say "My car needs an MOT test

Of course the Ministry of Transport hasn't existed for years, and the new department is called the Vehicle and Operator Services Agency

"My car needs a VOSA" could catch on, but to me it sounds like a shampoo

AbsofCroissant Mon 13-Sep-10 14:56:44

People DM who continue talking/add a new topic of conversation when you say "I need to go now". DM is notorious for this - it's impossible to get off the phone when talking to that woman. And some of the stuff she goes on about is sooooooooooooo boring. It's always about random people I don't know/care about. e.g. "Mom, I have to go" "okay. Well, on Tuesday I went to see Bob, you know Bob, he's the one who's married to Elaine and they bought that house in 1973, well ... " "Mom, I really have to go" "uh huh. Well, Bob has bought a new tree"

How Dad puts up with it on a daily basis, I will never know. Actually, I do. He just zones her out.

AlCrowley Mon 13-Sep-10 14:58:27

Shouldn't that be VOSA test Euphemia? wink

Children's clothes which are branded for no reason. Not a blatantly obvious Spiderman TShirt so much as "oh that's quite a sweet denim skirt... Oh hang on a minute, it's got Dora the fucking Explorer embroidered on the pocket' .

"When asked when my new baby was born loads of people have replied "Oh, thats my <insert random relative/friend> birthday" or worse "Oh, thats 3 days before/after my <insert random relative/friend> birthday. "

Ooh yes that's my dad's friend's wedding anniversary.
Inevitably followed by "SPOOKY" angry

annec555 Mon 13-Sep-10 15:07:00

Criminals talking to me. This does not sound unreasonable until I admit that I am a criminal lawyer.

ihearthuckabees Mon 13-Sep-10 15:07:31

DH and DS eating the food that I've bought so that I have to go food shopping again. Happens every week!

Clumsymum Mon 13-Sep-10 15:09:58

Haven't read all of these, sorry if repeating ...

Shop assistants/receptionists/nurses/etc who continue to talk to each other about Eastenders/their boyfriends/how pissed they were last night/whatever across me, when they are supposed to be doing their job, serving or nursing me (or my relative).

CatIsSleepy Mon 13-Sep-10 15:13:11

when you have to peel potatoes and all the potatoes in the bag are really small and if they were big you could maybe get away with peeling 2 but because they are small you have to peel 10 or something. That annoys me. Small potatoes. Damn them!

And people (usually men) who stand in a queue to pay a car park ticket or checkout and only start to think about looking for their wallet after they have been told the total price - despite having had 10 idle minutes to prepare and oblivious to the queue and the fact that everyone else has their carpark ticket and change in hand.

CatIsSleepy Mon 13-Sep-10 15:14:56

oh, and other people being generally better-looking, better groomed, and younger than me. That too.

Clumsymum Mon 13-Sep-10 15:17:22

CatIsSleepy, I can't peel small potatoes (have funny fingers) so I just scrub them and boil/steam with skins on. I explain to everyone that the vitamins and fibre in potatoes is all in the skins.

AllGoodNamesGone Mon 13-Sep-10 15:23:08

When you have a houseful of people and you really need a cuppa but this means you are going to have to offer everyone else one and they will all say “Oooh, go on then, if you’re making one!” when you know they have all wanted a brew for ages but not wanted to be the one to get up and offer to make one.

hmm

MrsLevinson Mon 13-Sep-10 15:25:09

Catissleepy - the potato thing annoys me too, now I only buy baking potatoes which are much bigger so easier to peel!

nickelbabe Mon 13-Sep-10 15:26:12

which means they've all been doing that for ages!

what you should do is get up and say you're going to wash the pots/put the pots away/ clean the kitchen floor.
guarantee noone will offer to help, then you can go in and make yourself a cuppa without anyone noticing (you have to boil the kettle for the mop water, don't you? wink)

mayorquimby Mon 13-Sep-10 15:26:56

"And people (usually men) who stand in a queue to pay a car park ticket or checkout and only start to think about looking for their wallet after they have been told the total price"

shock wait. what?
have you been in a line behind a woman at an ATM recently?
wait in line 10 minutes.
decide to start fishing through bag for purse when they get to ATM, not while they've been standing there waiting.
somehow spend 5 minutes checking balances etc.
get money out.
put in second card. repeat.
stand at ATM organising their bag and purse and everything else for another 5 minutes instead of stepping to the side and doing it.

AlCrowley Mon 13-Sep-10 15:42:24

Children's clothes that either can't be tumble dried or need ironing!

CatIsSleepy Mon 13-Sep-10 15:43:40

and clothes that need hand-washing. who has time for that! well me tbh but I don't want to.

CMOTdibbler Mon 13-Sep-10 15:44:44

Currently, complete strangers who look at my arm (in cast, in sling) and say 'ooh, that looks painful'.

And people who should know better 'is it better yet ?' - no, it won't be for many months yet, if at all, thanks for reminding me.

Tourists asking me the way to things - which, if I lived somwhere complicated would be fair enough, but there are only two roads with things on in our small town, and the attraction of of the town is on either of those.

Euphemia Mon 13-Sep-10 15:51:37

wink AlCrowley - I stand corrected

PortBlacksand Mon 13-Sep-10 15:56:41

Children 6 and under answering the phone - my heart sinks. Being put on to DNeices of various ages while DSis / DSil bugger off for a fag or coffee.

PortBlacksand Mon 13-Sep-10 15:58:17

Children (other than my own) who have no concept of personal space and zoom up on bikes or scooters and stand between you and whoever you are talking too, or swing off your clothes.
Actually it drives me nuts when mine swing off my clothes...

PortBlacksand Mon 13-Sep-10 15:58:33

I do like children ....honest grin

Slightly Jaded - I fucking hate that! I get caught out as well...pick something up..."that looks nce"...turn it over and it has a great big picture of Dora smiling gormlessly at you.

Helenastar Mon 13-Sep-10 16:05:29

DP putting the washing up "in to soak" when it is turn, or not putting toothbrush in toothbrush holder.

AlCrowley Mon 13-Sep-10 16:14:53

Sarah-Jane Honeywell

esp in Mighty Might/Stripper mode

Message withdrawn

nameymcnamechange Mon 13-Sep-10 16:22:12

Yy to any children on any phones ever.

Was meeting my friend the other day in a crowded place. She got her 10 year old to call me to arrange a spot to meet. She was with the 10 y/o - I just know he nagged her to be allowed to make the call and she let him. Grrrrr.

fumblemummy Mon 13-Sep-10 16:23:13

When DH is still without shoes, wallet, phone, whatever despite me asking him 10 mins previously if he is ready to leave as soon as I put DD into baby car seat which she hates and will yell immediately she gets into. grr

Work colleagues that call you on mobile 15 minutes before you are due to be at work. I start at 8am, not 7.45 you dumb ass! angry

megonthemoon Mon 13-Sep-10 16:24:17

I think I agree with you all. I really am unreasonable, aren't I? Here are my favourite pet hates:

Coffee

Dogs

People who do not wring and lay out facecloths and dishcloths and leave them in a sodden festering heap (ok, this is a peculiarity of my DH and I know I am not being unreasonable here)

People using the words 'babe', 'darling' or 'mate'. Use their bloody given names, please!

People who try to have tweeting conversations with Stephen Fry. FFS don't bolster his ego even bloody more you idiots!

Twitter

Fishmongers not being open on Mondays. I know it's because there is no fresh fish, but it is the day of the week I most want to buy it. Gah!

LimburgseVlaai Mon 13-Sep-10 16:29:55

Smokers. YOU STINK. Even when you don't have a cigarette in your hand. Just stay away from me.

People who make shmecky noises when eating/kissing. I don't want to know what is going on inside your mouth, yeuch.

GetOrfMoiLand Mon 13-Sep-10 16:30:39

Other people's dogs. And having to be nice when hyou just long to shut them in the garden.

I love my MIL dearly, however I hate going there and having anything to eat, the fucking dog sits there looking at you whilst you eat. I shoot it the filthiest looks you can imagine however it does not take any damn notice.

marantha Mon 13-Sep-10 16:33:24

People who have 'partners' not 'husbands' or 'boyfriends'. For example, it makes me cringe to hear: 'My partner is picking our children up at 3pm' I am also wholly unreasonable about why they aren't married if they've got kids. Oh why don't you just get married for eff's sake? You know if it really is that serious that you've got a mortgage and children together?

Euphemia Mon 13-Sep-10 16:37:32

People who object to being referred to as "she" or "her" hmm My MIL is an example, and will pull DD up for it in any context, e.g., yesterday at Pizza Hut "So, Mum, are you getting a big pizza and sharing it with her?" MIL: "We don't say "her", we say "Grandma""?

Has SHE never heard of PRONOUNS? Does SHE talk like Dobby?

SoMuchToBits Mon 13-Sep-10 16:40:29

People who ask you what book you are reading, and then proceed to ask you all sorts of questions about said book. I don't want to have a conversation thank you, I just want to read the damn book without being interrupted!

Megonthemoon - my dh does that with dishcloths too - he dumps them in the little drainer section between the sink and draining board (iykwim), and they go slimy and stinky. I've even waved one under his nose and asked him if he thinks it would be hygienic to wipe the worktops with it, and he still bloody does it!! Just rinse them, wring them out and hang them over the tap or the edge of the draining rack, ffs!!!!

iamamug Mon 13-Sep-10 16:53:00

My DH flossing on the sofa next to me - he does it every day - honestly - every day..
have been married 17 long long long years..........

GetOrfMoiLand Mon 13-Sep-10 16:53:31

People who don't eat spicy curries (yes, I am looking at you dd) and stick witj boring korma.

And then when I cook curry (which I do a lot) I have to do a myriad of version, spicy for me and DP, vegan for stepson and tasteless non-spicy for dd.

And dd has the SAME curry when we go out for one - a bloody butter makhani. How blardy boring.

thereisalightanditnevergoesout Mon 13-Sep-10 16:55:23

myriad - it's that word again!!!!

silverten Mon 13-Sep-10 17:01:37

I have a pathological hatred of the word 'tipple'. Sets my teeth right on edge.

dinkystinky Mon 13-Sep-10 17:08:41

People on public transport who have obviously runny noses trying to sniff the bogies back up their nostrils. Ugh. I spend a fortune in giving out tissues on the tube so I dont have to listen to their sniffles...

megonthemoon Mon 13-Sep-10 17:11:26

So glad I'm not the only one with this issue, SDTG. It is quite possibly the thing that annoys me most about DH. I don't see anything wrong with wanting my cloths to be wrung out until they are bone dry slightly damp. And DH has the cheek to get annoyed that I change the cloth every night and he then has to find a new one to wipe surfaces - I keep telling him that it wouldn't need to be changed every night if he actually didn't leave it in a festering heap but he just does not get it. My head, brick wall, RSI. Sigh.

GetOrfMoiLand Mon 13-Sep-10 17:14:28

Thereisalight - I never use the word myriad. I must have seen it upthread and used it subconsciously grin

nickelbabe Mon 13-Sep-10 17:14:43

i forgot to add earlier (how unreasonable of me) that the woman that had the limp handshake also stank of coffee.
i wanted to vomit.

sapphireblue Mon 13-Sep-10 17:21:25

People who put clips/hairbands on their baby girls when they have NO HAIR. What do they do? GLUE them on? It looks fucking rediculous and makes me want to hit them with a blunt object (the parents, not the babies).

PortBlacksand Mon 13-Sep-10 17:25:32

Ah yes DSil drinks weak, weak water tea....just about sums her up really <evil>...

"I have a pathological hatred of the word 'tipple'. Sets my teeth right on edge." - another one of SILs is 'cheeky' when referring to alcohol...shall we have a cheeky glass of wine? - GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! Let's just get arseholed woman...

ROFL at speaking like Dobby.

thereisalightanditnevergoesout Mon 13-Sep-10 17:29:30

GetOrf it was me!! - the power of suggestion, darn it grin.

Nancy66 Mon 13-Sep-10 17:32:26

When somebody knocks on the door (uninvited) and I won't answer - usually because I'm not dressed.

And then they start peering through the letterbox and the windows....FUCK OFF.

AlCrowley Mon 13-Sep-10 17:49:38

"My head, brick wall, RSI. Sigh." Must find somewhere to use that phrase soon! Genius grin

FloraFinching Mon 13-Sep-10 17:49:42

Baked beans - work of the devil, yet ubiquitous

MIL phoning at 9pm when she knows DH is on lates. I am heavily pregnant, still working, and in charge of a toddler. 9pm-10pm is the only hour of the day when I'm not running round like a blue arsed fly, tending to the needs of others, or passed out asleep. I want to spend that hour watching a shitey ITV drama, not talking to you.

DH pegging out the laundry in a way that neither maximises the surface area, nor makes best use of the available sunlight. I am generally a slattern, but this makes me itch to give him a chinese burn.

puddlepuss Mon 13-Sep-10 17:52:43

FloraFinching I have never agreed with someone more in my life! Beans are pure evil. I start panicking and sweating when I get their disgusting, juice of satan slime on my hand.

Also, dh never puts the finished-with pegs back on the line properly. They should be left so they slide along easily, not shoved on as far as they can go so they don't move the next time you hang washing out.

Infact, are you me?

AlCrowley Mon 13-Sep-10 17:58:20

Nooo. Pegs go back in the bag. Definitely not left on the line!!

GetOrfMoiLand Mon 13-Sep-10 17:58:52

"DH pegging out the laundry in a way that neither maximises the surface area, nor makes best use of the available sunlight. I am generally a slattern, but this makes me itch to give him a chinese burn."

genuinely laughed out loud at that one.

QuiteFickleDobby Mon 13-Sep-10 17:59:06

I find myself getting irrationally, unreasonably annoyed with various authors upon finishing a really good book. Why couldn't they write more?

hmmSleep Mon 13-Sep-10 18:00:38

FloraFinching, get caller ID, I just don't answer the phone, you do get a twinge of guilt sitting and listening to the answer machine message when it's quite obvious they know you're in, but it quickly passes.

thereisalightanditnevergoesout Mon 13-Sep-10 18:02:38

FloraFinching another agreement - this time about phonecalls. How do people, particularly in-laws, know? Even if you tell them you won't answer, they still ring - because you couldn't possibly have meant them.

hmmSleep Mon 13-Sep-10 18:05:03

PortBlacksand Dh texts to say he's just going for a 'cheeky' after work, Arghhh! I think he still doesn't get that I don't mind him going for a pint after work, I just object to that word!

puddlepuss Mon 13-Sep-10 18:05:55

AlCrowley I used to have a peg bag but I always forgot it when I took the washing out and had to go back for it which drove me demented until I wanted to stab myself repeatedly with a plastic fork which was detrimental to my day as it took away from my wanting-to-stab-dh-with-a-plastic-fork-repeatedly time sad.

jollyma Mon 13-Sep-10 18:18:59

A friend who says properly "propley". Of all words to pronounce incorrectly.

That before we had dc's and i was working when dh did the housework he didn't put the cleaning materials away.

mumbar Mon 13-Sep-10 18:19:56

ROFL at this thread - freat idea getoifmyland.

PSML even harder at the fact I call DS mate at times or matey blush

Love licking the lids of yoghurts - altho the 0.01g of its all I get as the yoghurt is for DS meds to go in so he gets the rest wink

I REALLY hate it when a lady at work says 'oh, so and so needs to be doen ....' - one of these days I'll actually get the courage to say 'ok, well do it then' grin

mumbar Mon 13-Sep-10 18:23:48

Phonecalls - have a friends - who's lovely btw way - but if I have said I'm going out to x place at 1pm she'll ring at 12.59 and say - oh I thought you were going out - and when I say I am she'll say - 'your be late' hmm

or will ring my mobile 10 minutes after I have said I'll be somewhere hmm again!!!

Miggsie Mon 13-Sep-10 18:31:41

Facebook

Twitter

People checking their emails ALL THE TIME no matter what

People taking kids to school while talking non stop into their mobile

Parents who want to be "best friends" with their children.

People who think bad and destructive behaviour by their child is "cute" or "always testing the boundaries" (thanks, but not on my child's skeleton please)

People who describe everything as "cool". The richest language in the world and that's their only adjective....sob <goes off to pedant's corner to weep>

muggglewump Mon 13-Sep-10 18:35:35

Adults who go to Disneyland.

Parents who take 2yr olds to Disneyland and think they'll actually appreciate it.

Disneyland.

thereisalightanditnevergoesout Mon 13-Sep-10 18:37:45

Oooh yes. Disneyland. I used to work for Euro Disney.

Yuk.

Unfortunately, DD2 is obsessed with all things Disney. What can you do?

VictorianIce Mon 13-Sep-10 18:39:21

People eating popcorn in the cinema.

Actually, people eating anything in the cinema. It's a film, it's likely to be less than two hours, so why do you have to chomp noisily on the greasiest, most disgusting pseudo-food ever invented? Go home and have a sandwich, then come and watch the film and stop making me shudder with your filthy, rattly chweing noises. angry

Actually, I'm pretty sure this isn't unreasonable, so I'm probably on the wrong thread too... grin

muggglewump Mon 13-Sep-10 18:49:06

Fussy eaters, particularly of the adult variety. (and yes I mean you, twerpy exbf who would not eat at Maccas when DD wanted to as you hate all the food, yet love BK)
What was I thinking?hmm)

People who won't try food based on what it looks like. (again you exbf)

Overly serious women who dress like they're on a jury and never crack a smile.

People who define themselves based on what they own, particularly if it's electrical goods.
You are not better than because your TV is bigger and flatter than mine.

Mobile Phone obsessives.

perfumedlife Mon 13-Sep-10 18:54:59

This thread has made my day smile

I bet we would all describe ourselves as easy going too grin

muggglewump Mon 13-Sep-10 18:56:07

What you can do is tell them they can go to Disneyland when they can take themselves and pay for it.
Spending thousands to spend time in the boiling hot with dressed up people, fat folk, other peoples children and chavs.
No, no, and just no.

I was on a Disney Forum the other day, a friend asked me to, and I swear I thought about suicide.
It makes Netmummers look like Einstein.

I agree re eating in the Cinema, and would further with folk eating on public transport.
Just stop it, stop it now. you greedy pig

HRHPrincessReality Mon 13-Sep-10 18:57:53

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

littleomar Mon 13-Sep-10 19:07:59

"spread", as in margarine (can barely type it without grimacing)

cafetieres

people saying "whilst" instead of "while"

create Mon 13-Sep-10 19:10:27

people who don't lick the lids of yogurt pots - what a waste grin

mumbar Mon 13-Sep-10 19:20:41

People who think bad and destructive behaviour by their child is "cute" or "always testing the boundaries" (thanks, but not on my child's skeleton please)

PMSL at the skeleton part grin

TheCoalitionNeedsYou Mon 13-Sep-10 20:02:30

Create - scrape it with a spoon then.

TheBolter Mon 13-Sep-10 20:05:39

People who teach their children to say 'ta'. It's thank you fgs. You are making your child sound like a commoner.

arses Mon 13-Sep-10 20:22:12

My sister's is people who don't stir yogurt before eating it (taking all the yogurty scum off the sides).

dawntigga Mon 13-Sep-10 20:27:13

Staples. I hate them.

UnreasonableTiggaxx

PiratePrincess Mon 13-Sep-10 20:27:47

"Low fat anything. Why? Just eat less you fat bastards."

This thread has turned into a parody of Viz!

Oi Getorf - nothing wrong with milky tea. Repeat after me, "I am not a builder..." wink

choufleur Mon 13-Sep-10 20:33:14

Rolls of cotton wool. I HATE them. if you must use cotton wool (akin to dragging fingernails down a blackboard to me) buying pads or balls so that you don't have to pull it apart.

PortBlacksand Mon 13-Sep-10 20:39:57

YaY to builder's tea - i like it strong and sweet wink

tigga - is that the little metal things or the stationery shop?

thatsnotmyfruitshoot Mon 13-Sep-10 20:48:05

Eminem. His whingy voice makes my ears bleed.

Facial piercings. Yuck.

The phrase "I was sat" - no you weren't, you were sitting.

thatsnotmyfruitshoot Mon 13-Sep-10 21:02:15

People who beep after they've said goodbye and are halfway up the road.

Another baked bean hater. Vile.

Breakfast cereal, particularly anything which goes mushy and then welds itself to everything in sight.

ladymariner Mon 13-Sep-10 21:04:37

getting the engaged tone when i try to phone someone.....don't they know I'm waiting?????

AllGoodNamesGone Mon 13-Sep-10 21:22:48

Mumbar I had a colleague like that once, unfortunately I was a lot younger than her and never dared challenge her on it even though it was always things that were just as much her job as mine.

I think nowadays I might say something like "Oh, OK then, well, let me know if you have any trouble with it and perhaps I could give you a hand if I'm not too busy ..."

Passive aggressive, moi?!

roses12 Mon 13-Sep-10 21:29:00

Love these. M trying to foist dummies on my babies even though I gently pointed out that I didn't want to chase them down all night. Dummies not babies. Smug look on her face now my 5 & 8 yr old dd s are thumb suckers. The Australian caller who called back 10 mins after I got up off my arse and passed his message through to the team with broken phone lines, because I obviously sounded so unreliable. Argh

mumbar Mon 13-Sep-10 21:29:32

allgood thing is she is really lovely will answer a question about how to do something or show you etc. She's actually got an amazing tact of resonably asking someone to do something which is unreasonable as she could it herself and people just kind of do it iyswim. I'm much younger than her too. I was actually confident this week when she said me and other collegues had to decide how we wanted to do something followed by her idea of how to do it. I had what I thought was a fairer idea which I put forward. My collegues agreed and then thanked me after for being the one to have the confidence to do it. grin

montoyadiary Mon 13-Sep-10 21:44:58

couple of hundred more posts on this thread since i logged out at lunchtime!

Amused myself while ironing (least favourite domestic activity) mulling over what drives me and you lot nuts, thanks for making a tedious task go far more quickly!

GetOrfMoiLand Mon 13-Sep-10 22:28:38

Christ this thread has got loads of posts.

<hollers> Oi MNHQ

I have been a mumsnetter for 4 years, I have never got a thread on discussions of the day, this thread has got 400 odd posts on it and is pretty uncontroversial. PLEASE can I have a discussion of the day? grin

pushing it towards 400

people who tie their scarves in that silly non-knot, looped round and then both ends tucked in the loop.

ledkr Mon 13-Sep-10 22:39:57

people who don't put hand over mouth and so cough into my hair in a queue. I honestly feel murderous!

SoMuchToBits Mon 13-Sep-10 22:53:16

People who blow their noses loudly near you. I ean, I know people do need to blow their noses, but can't they go and do it somewhere out of earshot??? Makes me feel sick...

JjandtheBeanlovesUnicorns Mon 13-Sep-10 23:27:56

hiccups, they drive me insane

dps farking iphone

people who dont read a whole message before replying

people who text me 3 times when im trying to reply to the first text

when you miss a call ring back in seconds and they dont answer, howd you get so far away so fast.

carmel in hollyoaks

the special cup holder pot thing on the dcs highchairs, WHY???

the lift in boots, its useless it never works and when it does its soooo small i practically have to sit on the dcs and i only have a p&t not the biggest double i could have.

washing machines, why so loud

the prick next door parking overlapping our space every day

people on facebook 'having cuddles wiv ther lil pwincess or wee man' at stupid o clock, why isnt your child in bed???

people telling me i should be in bed when im on fb late, go away

ds never ever listening and ending up hurt everytime i try and stop him doing something daft. i only wish i could say, i told you so but hes 3

dd making a disgusting great mess with everything she eats still, she is capable of not as she never does when out. gah.

smelly people, either bo or too much perfume, yuck

dirty nappies, i wish they came out ptd

fish, whats the point.

rice pudding

ill stop now i have issues obviously

newwave Mon 13-Sep-10 23:29:46

People discussing soaps and assuming I have any interest and watch that rubbish

gingerwig Mon 13-Sep-10 23:48:11

people on Mumsnet accusing others of being unreasonable "By Stealth". AAAArgh I want to vomit when I read that.

Writing "Draw" for "drawer"

lip/tongue smacking noises at any time but especially after the food has been swallowed

Whole families full of tiny children at all night supermarkets in the middle of the night

My complete inability to resist unhealthy food

lemonysweet Tue 14-Sep-10 00:34:55

strapless wedding dresses.
when someone looks at your photo, they dont see the intricate beading or pleated bustle, they see yet another white strapless dress you boring generic idiot.

oh and wedding updoes. WHY? its not particularly flattering on anyone, wearing your hair down and loose and lovely makes you look full of life, why stifle the hair?

people going on and on about christina hendricks as if theyve never seen natural breasts before. the woman is incredible, but that body shape is EVERYWHERE you idiots.

iphones.

people who always find an excuse for other people. fat person: 'oh maybe they have a glandular issue' or more recently 'oh maybe they have a food addiction'
child screaming and kicking in supermarket 'maybe they have special needs WTF do you know blah blah'

fuck off. some people eat too many pies and some kids are just nasty.

oh and people who complain about violent thread titles. how exactly did you get through childbirth? grow up!

people who interrupt you all the time and just dont know when to shut up.

people who just seem incapable of being left alone for one minute. im reading a book, that means go away!

people who clearly aren't listening to a word you're saying but really obviously just plannijng what they are going to say next.

Hammy02 Tue 14-Sep-10 09:30:04

Girls at work that think I'm strange because I don't have a problem with having a number 2 at work. WTF do they do??? Hold it in all day until they get home???

Olifin Tue 14-Sep-10 09:32:14

thats'notmyfruitshoot

I HATE 'I was sat..' Likewise, 'I was stood...'

herbaceous Tue 14-Sep-10 09:33:29

Inefficiently stacked dishwasher

People folding maps back up incorrectly

People (DP) who start a new tub/jar/bottle of food/shampoo/washing up liquid when there's a bit left in the old one, so you end up with 12 nearly empty bottles of ketchup cluttering up the fridge

People sniffing with monotonous regularity on public transport. Blow your effing nose you utter oaf.

OlaJordansBodyDouble Tue 14-Sep-10 10:22:59

People who, when asked if they would like a cup of tea or coffee, reply, "Whatever is easiest." or "Whatever you are having."

I always want to say that it would be easier not to make them anything or that I'm having a vodka.

And another vote for those women who use soppy sing-song voices. Ennunciate, you stupid cow. How are those poor children supposed to understand a word you say?

GMajor7 Tue 14-Sep-10 10:25:45

What a chuckle this thread is smile

The plastic pull-thing on vegetable oil bottles that breaks EVERY TIME I try to open a new bottle. Why?

Spiders that hide inside pegs on the washing line then bungee out when I'm hanging the laundry out. Bastards.

pagwatch Tue 14-Sep-10 10:28:41

people who think that ifthey put on hazzard warning lights that means they can double park.

people who pay £2.80 for a cup of coffee with a credit/debit card.

Self service machines in supermarkets. I am buying shit from you, giving you my money - at least say good morning and hand me a fucking bag.

GMajor7 Tue 14-Sep-10 10:29:09

Oh, and not that I have them very often you understand, but ready-meals with instructions on the packet to 'remove film lid' That fucking film lid never comes off in one piece leaving you to pick off little pieces of plastic and getting said artificial food all over your hands. Hmph.

AbsofCroissant Tue 14-Sep-10 10:35:47

Men who don't wear deodorant on the tube. It was particularly bad this summer - I nearly threw up a couple of times when I ended up squashed next to an undeodorized (sp?) armpits in the evening on the way home. So disgusting.

This is completely irrational (but totally rational in my head) and drives me crazy - when my mother is on the phone, for ages, when I try calling, so all I get is snooty BT answerphone woman who says "thank you for calling our voicemail". No. I was not calling the voicemail. I don't like voicemail. I wanted my mother (but she's on the phone. Again).

TheCoalitionNeedsYou Tue 14-Sep-10 10:38:58

People who pay £2.80 for a cup of coffee.

TheCoalitionNeedsYou Tue 14-Sep-10 10:39:45

I refuse to use self checkout machines, and I work for a company that makes them

GetOrfMoiLand Tue 14-Sep-10 10:40:33

The woman who stands by the changing room cubicles in shops but doesn't actually do anything, and give you wall eyed looks if you dare to say 'can you get this in a 10 for me please'.

TheCoalitionNeedsYou Tue 14-Sep-10 10:42:04

"people who clearly aren't listening to a word you're saying but really obviously just plannijng what they are going to say next." = everybody in the world ever.

AbsofCroissant Tue 14-Sep-10 10:44:12

AND (I'm on a roll today) people who continue to babble at you, even though you're clearly not in the mood to talk to them (not referring to a small child, but a stupid male who was talking and talking and wouldn't shut up, even after I said "I'm really tired and don't feel like talking" and he said "yeah, me too. Sometimes you just need to be quiet" and then spent ages talking and talking and talking, and then singing and when I didn't respond (out of sheer exhaustion) just continued singing the same thing, over and over again).

Attention seekers (see male above). 1. never stopping talking AT me, 2. talking complete made up bollocks to try and make himself look better. For example, he started off by saying "I live in Marylebone", then slagging off where I live. Then "actually, I don't live in Marylebone, I would like to, I live in Lisson Grove". later ... "I live in a youth hostel in Lisson Grove". I'm just waiting to find out that he's actually homeless. Also turns out, he doesn't have the super fab job he said he had either. He's currently unemployed, and instead spends all his time arsing about on twitter.

pagwatch Tue 14-Sep-10 10:47:03

actually
people who go in the changing rooms when there is a queue and then use their phone [mymother]
people who answer the question 'would you like a coffeee/wine/tea/cake?' with 'are you having one?' [mymother]

People who phone you to tell you about someone you can't recall ever having met. They then spend 30 minutes doing a 'six degrees of seperation' explanation as to who they are, but you still don't know who they are talking about, so they finish with '.....well anyway . he died' [mymother]

Hullygully Tue 14-Sep-10 10:51:36

People who make you get up at dawn so you can fight for three hours through the Paris rush hour traffic and then wait forever for the Eurostar "just in case." (My mother, and possibly Pag's)

Hullygully Tue 14-Sep-10 10:53:27

People who say "I just think..." to justify their ludicrous, irrational and unthoughtout kneejerk responses to any political discussion that veers left of the Third Reich.

Hullygully Tue 14-Sep-10 10:53:58

Although neither of those are unreasonable, are they?

<Takes self away>

People who leave 2 millimetres of milk in the bottom of the bottle rather than opening the back door and using the blue bag. Or, people who throw the milk bottle into the orange bag where it quite clearly doesn't belong and leave me to delve into the horribleness in there. I am having milk bottle issues today.
Another one that reared its ugly head last night. DD has started at a new school. She has always been at international school, but this one seems to have a real American lean to it. Her spellings are marked incorrectly because she is using the British rules (metres, centre, colour etc) and last night she brought home some handwriting sheets to copy. They are all loopy and curly and I told her not to bother. I think I need to see her teacher about that. If and when we move back to the UK, she's going to look a proper nana not being able to spell properly.

AbsofCroissant Tue 14-Sep-10 11:05:46

I think I have the same mother as pag and Hully
- Turn up unreasonably early at airports/train stations out of paranoia (from nearly missing a plane 40 years ago). e.g. 4 hours before international flight. 1/2 hour before local train
- tells you long, complicated stories about people you don't know, and explaining who these people are by referring to other people you don't know/don't care about.

Hullygully Tue 14-Sep-10 11:11:37

I pray I don't do that to my dd (the stories). Particularly very emotional and moving stories about the distant cousin of someone SHE HAS JUST MET AT A SODDING BUS STOP AND DOESN'T EVEN KNOW THEIR NAME

AbsofCroissant Tue 14-Sep-10 11:18:56

But does she use long, involved, complicated sob stories about a friend of a friend of a friend to point out to you that your life is fine and you shouldn't complain, when all you wanted was a little whinge? Mine does this. She's spent YEARS complaining about how terrible her life is (it isn't) but then recently started going on about how, you know, actually it isn't that bad (I've told her this for years).

She told me this loooooooooooooooooong story about her friend's friend who:
- was abandoned by her husband for someone 30 years younger
- then her son moved to London and became a heroin addict
- she then went blind
- but still managed to get to London to track down said son and bring him home
- she then lost her job
- but still bravely fought on
- then her other son was in a car accident and ended up in a wheel chair for 6 months
- yet the woman bravely fought on.
Now, it is a fantastic story, very inspiring but I've never met the woman, and barely remember the woman who is friends with mom and her. In fact, I think I last saw her in about 1996.

Hullygully Tue 14-Sep-10 11:23:56

We are sisters.

My convos with mama go like this:

-Do you remember Mrs SoandSo?

-No (shortly)

-Yes you do, she used to live four doors down from that lovely man who worked at the school.

-What school? (before can stop self)

(look of triumph in mother eye) - You know, the one that that girl you didn't get on with went to.

-No (shortly)

-Don't be silly. Well it was so sad, her milkman's third cousin had to have his knee replaced...

(Desperately) I have never met this person and I have no interest in their life.

(hurt silence)

(gives in) Oh go on then, tell me. (Contemplates plunging cutlery into own eye.)

Anyone over 65 with a mobile phone (my mother) for the following reasons:

1. You always have to call at least 3 times. Once whilst they scrabble around in their bag for it (if they've heard it. Once, only to get cut off the second they answer by 'pushing the wrong button'. Once to actually have a conversation

2. They can't text

3. They send you empty texts

4. They phone you from landline to tell you mobile is broken. You go round to fix it. It needs charging. They look amazed by the fact that it doesn't last forever

4. Ditto people over 65 using email (my mother) who calls me up and starts reading error messages to me before even saying hello

For example

me: "hello?"
Mum: "It says system error 9787 exe"
me: "who is speaking please?"
Mum: "Oh don't be so facetious. This bloody computer is broken again"
me: "what programme are you running?"
Mum: "oh i don't know world wide email?"
me: "christ"

You get the picture....

AbsofCroissant Tue 14-Sep-10 11:32:32

My word - we are! (

Exactly the same. She gets really upset if I don't want to hear that her friend who got married aged 62 to her other lovely widowed friend (you know, the one who was married to the South African lady, and was really devastated for years at the loss of his wife, him)'s step grandson's best friend has gone off the rails and has been suspended from school. She also repeats the same background info, everytime, so the stories are getting longer.

why for the love of G-d does she think I'd be interested?

Gibbon Tue 14-Sep-10 11:34:30

Getting asked to enter my PIN number when I am already doing it.

AbsofCroissant Tue 14-Sep-10 11:35:15

Yip, she also has a mobile. Which is actually on for only approximately 5 minutes every three months "to save battery life". She will call, you unfortunately miss said call, she starts leaving long, long long answerphone message, saying you have to call back. When you finally get through the answerphone message and call back, she's switched off the phone. And despite me and my siblings explaining to her, that in order for a mobile to work, it has to be switched on, multiple times, she still keeps it off.

Hullygully Tue 14-Sep-10 11:35:37

My mother is genuinely moved by whatever latest story she has heard on the train. She has tears in her eyes. If only she wouldn't share.

BoffinMum Tue 14-Sep-10 11:35:52

I think I have all of these characteristics. blush

mrsunreasonable Tue 14-Sep-10 11:37:33

Microwaves that make a very loud beep sound everytime you press a button.

Power - BEEP
Full - BEEP
Time - BEEP
3 - BEEP
0 - BEEP
0 - BEEP
Start - BEEP

Right you stupid effing machine that is 7 window shattering bloody beeps just to warm this stupid pasty that I am only just managing to eat at 3 in the afternoon because I finally got the moany teething baby to sleep and you've just gone and bloody woke him up!

GMajor7 Tue 14-Sep-10 11:37:38

Toast crumbs in margarine or butter. Grim.

Mowiol Tue 14-Sep-10 11:37:52

Certain cults sects who tout their brand of christianity door-to-door....... regularly......... despite having been told you have no interest.
And the fact that they drag their childern along.
Go away or I may be forced to turn up on your doorstep extolling the virtues of atheism.

mummylin Tue 14-Sep-10 11:41:27

i hate hearing men refer to their wives as the wife it iritates me beyond belief

BarbiesBeaver Tue 14-Sep-10 12:00:58

People in supermarkets who need to pick up and read every single ingredient on every packet/jar/box before purchasing. Usually whilst blocking the entire aisle.

The word “chillax” makes me want to vomit.

Deliberately mispronounced foreign words, often said by my mum, “Fajitas” said “fah-jee-tahs” “lasagne” said “lah-sag-nee”. You get the picture.

Nail files. Sandpaper scratching along nails eurrgh.

Big platters of sandwiches at buffets. What is that mystery white paste filling? How many pairs of hands have pawed over those sandwiches? Oh and chocolate fountains at weddings. Do I want to eat liquid cheap chocolate with additional germs, bogeys, skin flakes and saliva? No thanks. Why not spend the £200+ on some nice chocolate pieces and leave them on my plate instead?

kitcat83 Tue 14-Sep-10 12:02:49

My husband after 6 years of being together not being able to hang up a wet towel, put the toilet seat down, or put a lid on any bloody product in the bathroom

People saying brought instead of bought!

People who drive at forty anywhere what every the speed limit be it 30 or 60, this really annoys me

People who beep me at the petrol station when I need to put super in my car (its not my fault there is only super at the pump at the back)- get a better car!!

People picking their noses, yuk

that stringing bit of saliva some people get in the corner of their mouths, have a drink and mint you disgusting people!!

UGG boots- just wrong

Stupid lazy women that think its ok to go shopping in their pjs

soo many more!!!

GetOrfMoiLand Tue 14-Sep-10 12:15:57

Oh no I say fa-jeet-a delibertaley wrongly. We also pronounce chorizo chor-itso with shrill cockney accents in order to piss off fluent spanish DP who pronounces it in full lispy castillian fashion. Mind you we also do this in public so it is possible that people in sansbos just think we are fick.

Toasters. I loathe toasters. They vomit crumbs all over the place. Just use to grill to make toast. I threw my toaster on the skip in a protest and don't have one now.

Dishwashers. WHY? Everyone I know washed the dishes before they put them in 'in order not to block the filter'. Pointless things. It is far quicker and easier just to do the damn dishes.

CheekyLittleSox Tue 14-Sep-10 12:22:13

Hmmm where do i start:

Barking/howling dogs

Noisy eaters

Drivers who don't indicate

Drivers who turn right in tescos in town when there is a sign that states NO RIGHT TURN - KNOBS.

Women who wear chavtastic clothing
People on Facebook whos statuses are like 'lve mi lil boii n mi lil princess loadzzz. FFS type in English you moron.

My sister going out and buying a £125 7 week old puppy and then ringing me the next day saying she is skint and having to eat at my mums because she has no money to buy any food - Well you shouldnt have bought a fecking dog then.

Parents who think their kids are little angels when iv just seen the little brat push my son over in the playground.

Those stupid plastic bags you get through your door asking for your unwanted clothing including underwear confused

Bills

Shite on TV

Chavs

People on pushbikes, Please dont ride in the middle of the road, ride at the side where you're suppose to.

People ringing my mobile when im on my house phone then when i don't answer they ring DHs mobile, when he doesn't answer they ring my mobile again only for it to be my sister asking me what im doing?

People saying they are skint and then going out on the town getting razzled - your skint but you found money to get pissed with!

People who ring my house phone and its a silent call, for you to press 1471, ring back and it tells you someone has tried to contact you but you weren't available and they will call back later - well if the arrogant bastard on the other end would have spoken to me rather than just give me a silent call you would have reached me wouldn't you?

Chicken from tescos that goes off 4 days before its BBE date.

People who say 'oh my son is potty trained, well he was on the potty yesterday with no accidents' hmm

CheekyLittleSox Tue 14-Sep-10 12:24:48

im sure i have loads more, im in a mood today so i will have plenty more later.

GrownupsLikeQuiet Tue 14-Sep-10 12:25:57

People. grin

"Drivers who turn right in tescos in town when there is a sign that states NO RIGHT TURN - KNOBS."

Wow your tesco is rude!

bad spelling and grammar. blush

CheekyLittleSox Tue 14-Sep-10 12:29:47

grin ;)

Well i am in East Yorkshire, the most arrogant place on earth i have grown to discover.

"Certain cults sects who tout their brand of christianity door-to-door..
And the fact that they drag their childern along."

hear hear!

binjibaghi Tue 14-Sep-10 12:30:41

recently married people being soooo in looove in your face. think its because i had lived with hubby for 11 years before getting married whereas have reached age now where friends seem to get married rediculously quickly (biological clock and all that)

i sound really jaded now dont i

blame facebook for a lot of it !!

Lovesdogsandcats Tue 14-Sep-10 12:35:32

'Do I want to eat liquid cheap chocolate with additional germs, bogeys, skin flakes and saliva?'

<vomits>

CheekyLittleSox Tue 14-Sep-10 12:40:41

People cough Step-Cousin cough moaning that she has no money and her life is shit because shes fed up of uni, but yet shes being all over the world this year, going to Australia next year and being to over 20 concerts this year but yet her life is shit - pisses me right off. fucking get a grip you spoilt little bastard.

VinegarTits Tue 14-Sep-10 12:41:07

people who start threads with the title:

'guess what i did to......'

and you have to open the thread to find out the rest

just put in the thread title FFS

GetOrfMoiLand Tue 14-Sep-10 12:43:13

Wedding cakes.

They are either (a) vile fruit cakes with marzipan heavier than cement made by Aunt Norah or (b) pretentious shite costing £800 from some absurd company called choccywoccydoodah or (c) a ridiculous display of FUCKING UBIQUITOUS CUPCAKES. And whatever option you have, the only thing you can do is coo and go 'ooh lovely'.

Then you watch that absurd charade of husband and wife rupturing the symbolic hymen cutting the cake with a specially bought knife, and then feeding bits to each other.

If I ever get married <hollow laughter> I will NOT have cake.

CheekyLittleSox Tue 14-Sep-10 12:43:41

vinegartits

and they get you to guess and 7 pages later they still havent returnede to tell you because they forgot and its maybe only to say 'i had a piss today'

So what.....

GetOrfMoiLand Tue 14-Sep-10 12:45:18

Oh Vinny that is SO true.

Most annoying threads on mumnste. OOh guess what i did today? 76 posts of inane guesswork. Then I pop up and say 'who the fuck gives a shit and is everyone on this thread so damn bored that they have to play banal guessing games about boring trivia' (I don't really, but I wanna)

CheekyLittleSox Tue 14-Sep-10 12:45:19

GetOrfMoiLand

i didnt buy a specially bought nice i used whatever nice the kitchen of the reception had for us grin

CheekyLittleSox Tue 14-Sep-10 12:46:04

knife not nice

GetOrfMoiLand Tue 14-Sep-10 12:47:41

lol at nice/knife.

Yes, buit I bet ypu spent a fortune on a vile cake though, didn't you? <hard stare>

CheekyLittleSox Tue 14-Sep-10 12:50:05

no MIL did grin £300 a chocolate marble icing chocolate cake with truffles on that i didnt eat grin