Mumsnet Talk

DH and I have a big barney, partly because I'm pregnant, hormonal and a bit fed up. Sorry this is long, the hormones are still in full swing!

I was cross with him because I had to repeat myself for the umpteenth time - he was looking at me, making eye contact, but obviously not listening at all because he had his bleeding iphone out and was too busy thinking about what he'd just read on twitter to take in what I had to say. My view is that by facebooking or tweeting while talking to me he is effectively mentally tuning out and not interested in what I have to say, which is upsetting for me when it's sometimes the first time in the day I've spoken to another adult!

He likens it to me knitting, and told me I'm being hypocritical. I can't see how it's the same thing at all - when I knit I'm using my hands but I'm still focussing on him, listening, talking etc. He says being on facebook etc. is the same, but it isn't is it? Surely you're not focussed on the person you're with if you've one eye on what everyone else is up to, posting on their walls etc. I just think it's bloody rude to do it while you're talking to someone else. He just can't see it at all.

So, AIBU, or is he?

He is BU- it's not like knitting at all. Hmmph on your behalf!

He is I find this so so rude! Really winds me up too.

Bah, YANBU, he is rude!

Maybe if you put down your knitting needles he'll have to (in the name of fairness) refrain from social networking whilst speaking to you?

Does he have to repeat himself when you knit?

I use FB and Twitter but cannot concentrate on writing or reading updates while listening to my family. It is rude and inattentive.

YANBU. My DH does the same to me all the time...even getting the ipod out while i am talking to play a game. I would think it less rude if he told me to bugger off and leave him alone TBH.

Ah, you see simple, quite often I pick up my needles because he's arsing about on his phone. Which I don't mind at all - I don't expect us to focuss 100% on each other all evening, we'd go mad - it's when he's doing it while I'm trying to talk to him that drives me mad!

Gah. Is it obvious I'm pregnant??

MmeLindt - never! The only time he has to repeat himself to me is when he interrupts me during a phone call - I have an inherent inability to listen to someone on the phone and in real life at the same time. But if it was important I'd break off the phone call.

yabu if you won't put down the needles.

YANBU. My DH is just the same, often can't take his eyes off the tv when I'm talking and I find it bloody rude too.

put the knitting needles up his nostrils, that'll make him listen

And get bogeys on my knitting AF??

yanbu mine does this too i am always telling him, i find it v annoying, even when walking down the road iphone is always out!

I never thought of that, floot

ok then, poke them in his bollocks

my dp got an iphone yesterday, it had already been flung the full length of our estate car by moi.

i hate the farking thing!!!!!

he was meant to be preparing dinner earlier and i wander into the kitchen and hes on the fucking thing, i said 'oh wow it has a potatoe peeling app, i need one of those'

cue dp in a strop.

I'm tuning out DH right now while reading this. Oh dear, AIBU?

Lol at potato peeling app.

i dont think that the whole house burst out laughing, i thought it was ver funny!

hes now looking at having a new stereo put in the car to link it too, i want to stamp on it,

im an i-widow.

Tell him that knitting is primarily a practiced physical movement and as such is controlled by the hindbrain and so does not interfere with conversation, which is controlled by the forebrain. A bit like being able to talk without having to stop walking.

I frequently MN/FB/Play games while chatting to my BF - he doesn't mind....

If my DH is on his phone while I'm talking to him, I just say "Oh, I'll talk to you when you're done on your phone". Even if he tells me that he IS listening, I just wander off until he's done. It irritates the hell out of him but gets the message across!

YA so very NBU xh used to come home from work and instead of talking to me would be on his blackberry and tuning me out. This was whilst I was pregnant and whilst I was stuck at home with a young baby in a foreign country with few social interactions in the day. Used to drive me crazy. So rude. Hmmm seems I have quite a chip on my shoulder!

Bloody men. I have a colleague who always starts leaving the room when you're still talking to him, and my boss interrupts me during meetings to ask another male in the room what the cricket scores are (or Tennis, or whatever blasted sport is on this time)

It's SO rude!

s'rude. Knitting (if you are a capable knitter) is not the same at all. It's like being able to drive and talk - if you are an unconfident driver you can't do it because you have to concentrate - if you are confident you can chat away no problem.

FB/twitter are engaging the same areas of the brain as paying attention in conversation so it's bloody rude of him because he can't possibly concentrate on your convo while carrying on another one at the same time.