to think that those of you of have abundant cushions on your bed are just as bad as the loons who have teddy bears on theirs?

(255 Posts)
GetOrfMoiLand Tue 07-Sep-10 13:18:43

A friend (rather DP's workmate's girflfriend) just moved into a new house. She is a lovely girl, went round their house with some lilys to nose have a look.

She has about 6 great big cushions on her bed all nicely arranged. And one of those strips of material like a scarf at the bottom.

I made all the right noises but then said 'what do you do when you go to bed, do you just throw 'em on the floor?'

She looked at me as if I was old man Steptoe and said 'no we put them in the ottoman'. And by the window is a blanket box in which she puts the cushions at night, and then puts them back on the bed in the morning.

That's MAD isn't it?

Mind you, she is only 24. Surely a bit of real life will knock that madness out of her.

JodiesMummy Tue 07-Sep-10 13:20:01

Nope, I have decorative cushions on my bed, and all sofas, they are NOT for use and if DP does use them he gets short shrift! Its AMBIENCE ya know!

GetOrfMoiLand Tue 07-Sep-10 13:20:28

Oh god you are all going to come on here and say hmm this is normal, don't you have cushions and diptique candles in your bedroom, you scruffbag.

CMOTdibbler Tue 07-Sep-10 13:20:34

Mad as a box of frogs. One of my chief complaints about hotels is having to throw all of the junk off the bed every night before I get to collapse into it

GetOrfMoiLand Tue 07-Sep-10 13:21:15

I feel like one of the saddos who get shouted by that INSANE-eyed american woman on House Doctor.

GetOrfMoiLand Tue 07-Sep-10 13:21:44


I am not alone.

nickelbabe Tue 07-Sep-10 13:21:45

total loons - every time you get into bed you have to throw loads of cushions onto the floor - it's enough of an effort to get undressed for bed, never mind anything else!!

nickelbabe Tue 07-Sep-10 13:23:04

god, just noticed, you said in the ottoman, i thought you'd said on.

loon x 30 for that...

chitchat07 Tue 07-Sep-10 13:23:32

You MUST watch 'Along Came Polly'. You will love the scene where they stab the cushions on the bed!!!!

YANBU. Lunatics.

You see it on American TV shows all the time. The couple getting ready for bed and talking whilst removing the 438 decorative cushions on their bed before they can get into it.

BitOfFun Tue 07-Sep-10 13:25:09

I thought ottomans were for shagging on? confused

lolapoppins Tue 07-Sep-10 13:25:30

It's madness.

And a slippery slope into decorative canopies above the bed and loads strips of voil (sp?) curtains that you can't actually pull.

We have two 'decorative' cushions on top of our stack of two pillows each on our bed. They are really pretty indian fabric but hideously uncomfortable as they have bead trimming. My DH hates them and can't understand why I have them as they just get chucked off the pillow stack every night - and with my practical head on, I know it's ridiculous. But whenever I have tried making the bed without them, I feel cheated of my bit of fluffery.

And having just decorated the living room we had a row about which cushions would stay on the sofa, the new lilac & grey union jack sequin ones which match my new colour scheme or the comfy squishy silk ones which don't really match but are really comfy when you want to snuggle up and watch a film. I have hidden the comfy ones and am hoping DH won't notice. It is madness but at least the House Doctor won't shout at me

I have them. And am not ashamed.

What is that bit of fabric for, at the bottom of the bed?

BitOfFun Tue 07-Sep-10 13:28:39

The Americans have pillow-shams. Now that is weird. Definitely not for shagging on.

ninedragons Tue 07-Sep-10 13:29:11

Has she also got:

1. A framed Keep Calm and Carry On poster in her kitchen?

2. A reproduction tram/bus destination scroll?

3. A phalanopsis (sp?) orchid in her bathroom, along with a little pyramid of rolled-up white towels?

4. Big 3D letters spelling out something like EAT in the kitchen or DREAM in the bedroom?

GetOrfMoiLand Tue 07-Sep-10 13:30:44

That bit of fabric is for strangulating your partner, either in an erotic asphixiation kind of way, or just out of sheer annoyance.

I think.

Or for when you can't find youe dressing gown cord.

That strip is for the fancy-making-thereof.

GetOrfMoiLand Tue 07-Sep-10 13:32:56

None to any of the above, but she has got pantone mugs.

I want pantone mugs. In all teh colours.

She has got loads of photos of her and her boyfriend everywhere in those holders with a clip on, bless her.

yesway Tue 07-Sep-10 13:33:50


But I've always harboured a fantasy about having matching cushions on our bed - it'll never happen - the floor in our bedroom has holes in it - which is probably a more pressing issue.

lolapoppins Tue 07-Sep-10 13:34:10

Ninedragons - those silver letter make me want to scream. When we were house hunting we could always tell from the outside which house would have them. Then, from meeting the owner we could tell if they would be in English, or poncetastic Italian

they make me shudder. 'eat' 'bath' seems so bossy!

BigusBumus Tue 07-Sep-10 13:34:54

Has she got a large smooth round pebble with either a word or an "important" date engraved on it?

MamaMtundu Tue 07-Sep-10 13:35:58

I'm just chuckling(attempts to be good humoured) at my desire for my husband to throw his clothes in the wardrobe rather than step out of them, leaving them still looking like a pair of scrunched up mini legs in the middle of the floor, ready for stepping straigt back into. Can't imagine trying to encourage him into a daily cushion clearing routine!

MmeLindt Tue 07-Sep-10 13:36:51


I tried it once when I was in my first flush of house decorating but after a couple of days I forgot to put them back in the morning.

The cushions were discovered weeks later, languishing with the dust bunnies under the bed.

BigusBumus Tue 07-Sep-10 13:37:10

Or twigs in a vase (with optional fairy lights)?

MmeLindt Tue 07-Sep-10 13:37:53

<hides Keep Calm And Carry On poster>

It was cool when we bought it a year ago though.

lolapoppins Tue 07-Sep-10 13:37:55

Actually, what would be funny would to have big silver letters spelling out TWAT.

sanielle Tue 07-Sep-10 13:38:06

I have 2 for my head, one for inbetween my knees, one for under my belly. And 2 for Dh.

But I'm pregnant anyone else with that many is a nutter.

BitOfFun Tue 07-Sep-10 13:38:07

BigusBumus- I'm sure she has. And one that all her friends marvel at, which is, in fact, an air freshener.

Poledra Tue 07-Sep-10 13:39:04

What a loon. Almost as bad as those people who change their sheets every day................. wink

At both my mother's and my MIL's houses, the bed DH and I use has decorative cushions on it - which is fine as these are spare beds and not in general use, and it does look pretty. However, the first night we are there, I remove said cushions and place them neatly in the corner. And there they stay until the day we leave again, when I either replace on top of the neatly-made bed, or chuck 'em on top of the duveet and pillows after I've stripped the bed (depending upon preference of mother/MIL for bed-making/sheet washing).

Lynli Tue 07-Sep-10 13:39:30

Perfectly normal IMO.

But no to bears.

No to fridge magnets.

To each his own.

BigusBumus Tue 07-Sep-10 13:39:59

My DH just pushes my 3 (orange silk Conran) cushions onto my half of the bed and gets in his half. He does it every night whilst I'm taking my makeup off, without fail. Really pisses me off. Can't he just lob them on the floor like I do?

OOOh we have a friend with those letters everywhere EAT in the kitchen and DREAM in the bedroom. She drinks quite a lot and me and DH joked that we should buy her VOMIT for the loo....

She also has a 'weathered' driftwood 'Make Do and Mend' thingy on the hall wall and a glass vase of fake peonies with the pebbles in some kind of solid jelly substance on the hall table.

Oh and the children are only allowed to choose one thing out of the toy box at a time.

Makes my two beaded cushions seem perfectly rational.

BigusBumus Tue 07-Sep-10 13:41:43

I WANT big letters spelling out TWAT lolapoppins, thats really made me laugh!

Ephiny Tue 07-Sep-10 13:42:36

I think it's weird, who even goes into the bedroom during the day? So it's not as though anyone is appreciating the decoratation...

DinahRod Tue 07-Sep-10 13:43:32

Keep going Ninedragons writing my shopping list

I also want a feature wall

YANBU. My DD has a fancy pants cushion to match her fancy pants duvet cover. They were a bribe when we moved house to make her want to keep her room nice. Ha! On top of these fripperies, she has umpteen soft toys that must stay on her bed. I just fling the duvet over the top of them. Her bed looks like a ploughed field.

lolapoppins Tue 07-Sep-10 13:44:24

I might actually get some silver letters abouve ds bed saying FUCKING GO TO SLEEP NOW, might give him a hint grin

TheBountyMuncher Tue 07-Sep-10 13:45:17

Argh! ninedragons, I havethose things, minus the scroll and Keep Calm poster, I threw that away when I moved house!
And my letters spell COOK (which in certain lights looks like COCK. And HOME in the living room (in case I forget where I am)

Ohh I hope none of my friends are secret MNers, they're most likely chortling to themselves everytime they come round!blush

I have 3 cushions on my bed too- but not the mad runner thing at the end, that is one step too far and I can't afford one

CMOTdibbler Tue 07-Sep-10 13:45:54

Ambience in my bedroom is limited to cat added objets trouve, fragrance by the washing basket, and embellished by the abstract art of the clean washing pile.

littledawley Tue 07-Sep-10 13:47:14

lolapoppins - pmsl @ 'twat' grin

becaroo Tue 07-Sep-10 13:47:47

"pebble with important dates on"?????

what?? I, mean, really, what????? why??? For what reason???? What sort of pebble?? Does it have to be a special one????

I do have a "Keep calm and carry on" poster in my kitchen but it was a gift.

I dont have cushions or bits of fabric on my bed either. Am I odd????

QueenofDreams Tue 07-Sep-10 13:48:53

YANBU. I am just about making the effort to make the bed each day. If I had to faff around with loads of pointless cushions it would never get done. Makes me think of Along Came Polly when she has a go about his cushions.

Hmm haven't actually made the bed yet...


I have all those things you mentioned apart from my 10cm silver letters spell out FUCK next to the bed

piprabbit Tue 07-Sep-10 13:49:58

I am not a loon (much).
I have 4 pillows, 5 large cushions and a bolster on my bed (plus the banana-shaped pregnancy pillow is still lurking about).
They aren't decorative, they enable me to recline in huge comfort and read watch TV in bed.
When it's time to go to sleep, I just lob them over the side on to the floor. This allows DS (2yrs) to mountaineer his way into my bed every morning without waking me up.

(I do have one of those scarf-thingies over the end of the bed, but I made it myself to match my homemade curtains and it stops the plain white bedding looking too dull - it generally gets kicked off in the night blush).

ninedragons Tue 07-Sep-10 13:51:11

What about strings of those fairy lights with the little flower around each bulb?

becaroo Tue 07-Sep-10 13:51:30

Can you get those word thingies for the kitchen that say

Needanewname Tue 07-Sep-10 13:51:35

Oh dear - we have a new bed and new gorgeous duvet cover which is just crying out for some silly cushions - I know they're daft but they look so lovely and I only want a couple!

However I am also loving the idea of large letters spelling out twat! Does one cancel the other out?!

becaroo Tue 07-Sep-10 13:53:37

ooohh, fake flowers <<<shudder>>>>

Unless you are actually allergic to all flowers whats the point? they look so sad all dropy and covered in dust in their "vase" sad

DastardlyandSmugly Tue 07-Sep-10 13:55:20

I have most of these things too and am not ashamed.

Although the only decorative pebble I have has a plastic frog on it which was bought for me by a boyfriend when I was 17. He was dumped thereafter.

sallyseton Tue 07-Sep-10 13:55:23

Does she also have a canvas print of a closeup of a flower in either black and White or sepia? That she has quite clearly purchased from ikea?

No decorative cushions but I do have a lovely decorative blanket at the end of my bed, it's soft, it looks lovely and comes in handy when I can't find my dressing gown blush

ninedragons Tue 07-Sep-10 13:57:40

Reproduction Mies van der Rohe Barcelona chairs perched on a shag pile rug?

AlCrowley Tue 07-Sep-10 13:58:13

I have an orchid in the bathroom (damn thing just won't die!) and I want a keep calm and carry on poster for the kitchen. I even have 3 canvas pictures above my bed with the picture that runs between the all.

No cushions, ottoman, bed runner, letters or stone though. Am I a lost cause?

and a Cath Kidston 'vintage style' cake stand that has never been used?

MadreInglese Tue 07-Sep-10 14:00:27

there are mutterings on twitter about this today too grin

expatinscotland Tue 07-Sep-10 14:01:56

I'm actually jealous of people like the OPs mate, because she's 24 and probably this really together person, v. me who was a 'late bloomer' and all over the place at that age.

At 40, this colleague will probably have a really comfortable life.

In direct contrast to me.

So I think YABU.

I admire people who are that sorted and organised. I think it's a good thing.

GetOrfMoiLand Tue 07-Sep-10 14:02:13

lol at TWAT in silver letters.

Or some on the toilet door (to be read out Waynetta Slob stylee) AHM AVIN AY SHIT

OrmRenewed Tue 07-Sep-10 14:03:06

I have no cushions. I have cats.

I also have teddy bears - well I have a mutant doll that DH bought me (now that's love). But he/she/it spends most if it's time on the floor as the cat attacks it.

notalone Tue 07-Sep-10 14:04:53

I do too though I don't have a handy ottoman to put them in. I even have a runner in matching colours for one set of bedding (the scarf thing you talked about). In my opinion it makes my bed look lovely and inviting. Each to their own and all that. You probably have things in your house that she might think "Well I wouldn't have that in my home". Horses for courses <<sticky tongue out emoticon>>

BigusBumus Tue 07-Sep-10 14:06:13
CerealOffender Tue 07-Sep-10 14:06:30

nonsense expat, all her expendable income is spent on cushions and daft shite. mine was happily pissed up a wall.

BigusBumus Tue 07-Sep-10 14:07:45

And a single Louis ghost chair. As her dressing table chair.

alarkaspree Tue 07-Sep-10 14:08:13

I once lived in a serviced apartment for 3 months while dh was working abroad. Every day a cleaner would come and pile up the bed with cushions, every day I would put the extra cushions on top of the wardrobe...

It was very frustrating.

They also turned on the dishwasher every time they came, even if it was COMPLETELY EMPTY.

princesspuds Tue 07-Sep-10 14:09:15

I bought loads of cushions when I got my new sofa, they stayed on it for a few weeks until DP and I got fed up with arranging them all the time......wish I had thought about it a bit more beforehand as I spent a bloody fortune on them hmm

GetOrfMoiLand Tue 07-Sep-10 14:10:12

nah, Expat.

It is her first house, just moved out from her parents.

She went out with her mum who bought the lot.

In six months time she will be struggling to pay the gas bill because she went out on the razz like the rest of us. grin

She is a lovely girl - she is all excited about her first place. Good on her - my first flat I sat on two plastic garden chairs and an inflatable arm chair because I coulnd't afford a sofa.

SixtyFootDoll Tue 07-Sep-10 14:10:48

Cushions on the bed aare only one step away from cushions on the parcel shelf IMO

GetOrfMoiLand Tue 07-Sep-10 14:11:50

And some bastard came round and sat on said blow up chair and popped it with a lit fag.

was gutted. Would have killed for cushions, ottomans, teddy bears, anything, back then. grin

GetOrfMoiLand Tue 07-Sep-10 14:12:37

Suppose that is the difference between having your first flat at 16 and not 24.

dinkystinky Tue 07-Sep-10 14:13:20

I have 2 cushions on my bed - good for creating a barricade against small people when they invade our bedroom in the mornings. And a throw - good for throwing over the invading hordes to slow their progress.

Bigus have just looked at this site and I think the 'art, painting and sculpture' section has surpassed itself. I can't choose between

angel wings. why? or ah yes, my feelings exactly and a snip at 275

But to be honest, it's all so aspirational and perfect that I might have to apply for a store-card

Poledra Tue 07-Sep-10 14:15:30

Fuckerada, £275 for that trite shite! And the angel wings - well, words fail me )and that doean't happen much).

Some people have too much money and not enough sense........

jsgirl Tue 07-Sep-10 14:17:22

Was it an episode of Cheers where Sam went round to Diane's place and discovered that her bed was covered in a mountain of stuffed toys? He threw them all out of the window one at a time while she was in another room. Or maybe I'm making it up.

emptyshell Tue 07-Sep-10 14:20:03

I have a hand made silk quilt made by my mother as a wedding present on my bed - would never sleep under it as it's silk she bought in China and it would get ruined - it just gets folded in two and hung over the bed on a night - takes all of 10 seconds.

Might be fluff and frippery - but the colours on it (it's absolutely beautiful - really shimmery ruby and blue-green) don't half cheer me up when I make the bed on a morning and open the curtains and light reflects on it. Not a lot can cheer me up on a wet and rainy Monday morning.

Also have cushions on the bed because I use them to prop myself up when we retreat to bed with a DVD - because otherwise I get to see half the screen and two cat ears blocking the view usually - they just get punted off onto the floor when we go to sleep, but come in handy for clobbering the husband with on occasions. They're not decoration - they're ammo and I'm not particularly precious about them - they're the old ones we don't have on the sofa anymore.

Talking of bedding - I had to evict the cat from INSIDE the duvet cover this morning.

Basically I can get out of bed, flick my hair and pretend I'm Nigella or something and then stagger downstairs to be confronted with the horrid reality of a mountain of dishes and a husband leaving wet towels everywhere (our bathroom's under the stairs - daft idea of our landlords)!

Ah but Poldra the angel wings are by the artist Cocoa Dodo, don't you know...

QS Tue 07-Sep-10 14:21:51

Yabu because she is young and excited (actually, not very young at 24)

Yanbu because I too want to have a life where I have
a) an ottoman in my bedroom
2) time to stack it with cushions in the evening
3) time to make my bed in the morning
4) money to buy uneccesary items

hence: teeny bit envy


On the other hand, I have something MUCH BETTER.
Next to my bed I have a heart made from Lego, ds1 made it for me.

BigusBumus Tue 07-Sep-10 14:21:53

"Nice photo"

"Thanks, It was taken at dawn on the day we fell in love"


squeaver Tue 07-Sep-10 14:22:55

So you have an ottoman whose sole purpose is to store the cushions.

Except in BoF's shag pad, obv

GetOrfMoiLand Tue 07-Sep-10 14:24:15

Yes I probably am jealous. grin

I had to wait until I was in my 30s until I had enough money to spend on frivolities.

And I still class frivolities as wine which doesn't taste like a cat pissed it, not cushions on a bed whioch already has pillows grin

squeaver Tue 07-Sep-10 14:24:17

Oh barf to the dawn photos

Housemum Tue 07-Sep-10 14:24:18

Have looked at my bed - it's made, duvet turned down to air, 2 board books a Duplo brick and a half dressed doll thrown on the pillow by DD3. Does that count as decoration?

Rooms with cushions and table runner things for beds only exist in the minds of set dressers for photo shoots, catalogues trying to sell said cushions, and US TV shows (thinking Desperate Housewives).

The only real people who can do this are single with no children, or v rich with a cook, cleaner & nanny so they have naff all else to do with their time except plumping cushions.

Anyone who has an average income, kids and no household help yet finds time to faff around with interior design is to go away now as I am pretending you don't exist...

QS Tue 07-Sep-10 14:24:45

In my first London Abode (age 20) I had:

I broken chair rescued from a skip, I made a new back for it from chicken wire, in the day time I propped my pillow up against it, so the chicken wire should not rub my back, when I sat on the chair.

My table was a large wooden telephone cable roll, it was a bit wobbly, but I covered it with fabric, so it was ok.

superv1xen Tue 07-Sep-10 14:24:47

haha, i have cushions on my bed which come off at night and one of those blankets things at the end blush

VivaLeBeaver Tue 07-Sep-10 14:26:22

I can barely be bothered to make the bed in the morning never mind faff about with umpteen cushions. YANBU.

squeaver Tue 07-Sep-10 14:26:47

And what about that log thing you sometimes get in hotels? What's that all about?

<waits to be told it's another shagging device>

GetOrfMoiLand Tue 07-Sep-10 14:27:04

I had a coffee table which was made out of old pallets which I swiped from round the back of a hotel.

Also had shelves made from thieved bricks and planks of wood.

GetOrfMoiLand - they pay good money for shelves like that in Hoxton

QS Tue 07-Sep-10 14:30:14

Candle sticks for scaffolding support!

Bricks and planks - CHECK!

aluminium pipes stolen from a backyard for bin (with plastic bag in, of course, as it had no "bottom") and table legs under a plywood panel.

classy grin

Housemum Tue 07-Sep-10 14:31:25

And don't get me started on childrens' rooms in catalogues/home magazines! When I see books like "Real Homes" I always think that they have shipped everything off into a storage company while the photographer visits.

DD2's room never looks like this: edroom/6/

a) her slippers will not be by the bed, they have parted company, one will be in a toy box somewhere

b) the bookcase is overflowing, it doesn't have a few delicately placed

c) the shelves would be crammed with crap lovely creations that she has made herself with lolly sticks, sweet wrappers and any other junk she finds lying around. They are all "precious" and must be displayed (till mummy "loses" a few...)

d) with a spare moment she would be bouncing on the bed or making a tent from the duvet, not reading a book

e) where are the Lego bricks, Playmobil, dolls, games, puzzles, party bag toys, dressing up clothes etc etc etc...

piprabbit Tue 07-Sep-10 14:31:57

My bed cushions are made from leftover curtain material, which in turn are made from a couple of sets of reduced (to about a tenner each) Tesco double duvet bed sets.

The duvet covers were made into curtains, the strip I trimmed off the bottom to shorten it was turned into my bed runner and two of the four pillowcases in the set were cut down to become cushion covers. And I still have two pillowcases left "just in case".

Ta Da...

GetOrfMoiLand Tue 07-Sep-10 14:32:10

They wouldn't have paid much in Hoxton for my brick shelves.

I wrapped the bricks up in silver foil and painted swirly patterns on the wood with bright blue humbrol paint. grin

Like I said, i was 16.

QS Tue 07-Sep-10 14:33:16

I spraypainted the toilet bowl gold.

piprabbit Tue 07-Sep-10 14:33:43

Very Changing Rooms grin GetOrf.

GetOrfMoiLand Tue 07-Sep-10 14:34:03

lololol at spray painting your toilet in gold paint.


GetOrfMoiLand Tue 07-Sep-10 14:34:39

I really, really, really thought that bricks wrapped up in tin foil was a good look.


Poledra Tue 07-Sep-10 14:39:20

You were 16, and managing to live on your own. You're allowed to have made some dodgy decor decisions

Christ, at 16, the only reason I didn't have dodgy interior decor was because my parents didn't let me.

As long as you've grown out of it now wink

See I think that's all v.creative. I however, went the other route with my first flat. Lots of cheap pine and peach walls. Nice.

As I recall, the feature I was most proud of was a pair of straw/wicker fans which I had nailed to the peach wall in a kind of cross shape over the headboard of my pine bed. Classy

PerArduaAdNauseum Tue 07-Sep-10 14:41:34

I had 'side-tables' aplenty - boxes of unpacked books with 'Indian' scarves over them. Classy. Not. grin

NorbertDentressangle Tue 07-Sep-10 14:49:03

Do you think the Twatty Pebble company would let you order one with a rude-ish word on? Or would they realise that you're taking the piss a bit?

I'm quite tempted to order one with the word ARSE on (for no reason other than we like the word in this house)

NorbertDentressangle Tue 07-Sep-10 14:49:03

Do you think the Twatty Pebble company would let you order one with a rude-ish word on? Or would they realise that you're taking the piss a bit?

I'm quite tempted to order one with the word ARSE on (for no reason other than we like the word in this house)

SirBoobAlot Tue 07-Sep-10 14:51:49

I like cushions because they help me get comfy.

I have a bed runner that my mum got me to match my curtains hmm Only use I have found for it is a giant muslin cloth.

LBsmum Tue 07-Sep-10 14:52:08

Am playing a long running joke on a male friend who likes kitchen crockery with descriptions and instructions on them such as 'pasta', 'eat' 'hot' , u can buy alot of this crap, and I have for him, all lined up it makes for a very bossy though some would say rather stylish kitchen

she is young and childless so in some ways Yabu though when I was in a similar position I could think of better things to do like sleep for longer

LBsmum Tue 07-Sep-10 14:53:46

Rather than fart arse about with pillows

AlCrowley Tue 07-Sep-10 14:58:44

I had those plastic drawers you're supposed to use in garages in my room at uni. They were tonnes cheaper than real drawers and smaller too which was a bonus in my tiny room.

They're now in my garage

lamplighter Tue 07-Sep-10 15:04:39

I knew a woman who 'scrunch' painted her hallway using a balled up plastic bag dipped in purple paint.

The effect was amazing. It looked exactly like she had decorated her hallway with a balled up plastic bag dipped in purple paint.

I was soooo jealous envy

She also had decorative soaps in a basket by the bath - god forbid you actually used one to wash with though.

'I might actually get some silver letters abouve ds bed saying FUCKING GO TO SLEEP NOW, might give him a hint'

Lola that's the funniest thing I have read on here in ages grin

Listen to you old gimmers though with your reminiscences grin, don't you understand what sort of pressure we are up against now days, even in our first homes?

This thread has made me feel a little bit better though. Was feeling very insecure as have joined an NCT group, a refresher course for people with more than one child (thought I would pay to make friends this time, rather than the hell of baby groups like last time) and DH and I are clearly the poorest ones there. And I know they are all going to have lovely Georgian houses with lovely things, as they all have grown up full time jobs (not part timers like me and DH with mountains of debt), and I have recently had to leave my beautiful Georgian flat for a small new build, which really isn't our style at all.

Have been feeling v insecure about it but this thread has cheered me up, and I will especially feel better if any of them have big silver letters in any of their rooms.

I can't imagine having an ottoman just for bed cushions! Every bit of furniture squeezed into this tiny soulless box is stuff full! To the point where I have no idea where I am going to put all the new baby stuff!

PerArduaAdNauseum Tue 07-Sep-10 15:15:08

Perhaps you could get an ottoman to put the baby in, then use it for cushions when it's awake? [helpful]


Slightlyjaded, that canvas is a quote from 'The Twits' by Roald Dahl. They've taken something that in context is lovely and made it totally wanky and NOT EVEN ACKNOWLEDGED THE QUOTATION! Surely that's illegal?

MmeLindt Tue 07-Sep-10 15:40:37

I don't understand the dawn photographs though. Do they really expect us to believe that they have taken a photo every morning since 2005 on the off chance that someone will order one.

What if it has been a really overcast day, or was was pissing with rain. Don't really think I would splash out £90 for a picture of rain and clouds.

I had a brick and wooden plank shelf that I was proud of, and a wine crate/marble tabletop table.

MmeLindt Tue 07-Sep-10 15:41:42
AlCrowley Tue 07-Sep-10 15:44:53

Wine bottle "candelabras" anyone

lamplighter Tue 07-Sep-10 15:45:39

I once saw a staircase that had a line from a Shakespearian sonnet on each riser so when you stood at the bottom you could read it from the top to the bottom.

I still want to do that at home blush

Poledra Tue 07-Sep-10 15:46:53

Oh dear god, that is truly nauseous, MmeLindt

DH and I do not have 'a moment' - he grew on me, like mould............

GetOrfMoiLand Tue 07-Sep-10 15:52:52

lol at mouldy husbands.

SeaTrek Tue 07-Sep-10 15:53:14

I think six is a bit excessive!

I have one on the master bed, one of my son's bed, three on the king guest bed and four on the guest single (arranged to make it look more like a sofa in my study). All for decoration. I insist on only plain white bedlinen so I feel the bed needs a little extra.

I sleep in the guest king quite often (DH snores) and I am re-thinking the three on there. It will defo go down to one when I redecorate anyway. I like one though!

AlCrowley Tue 07-Sep-10 15:56:03

Quote of the day "DH and I do not have 'a moment' - he grew on me, like mould............"


MmeLindt Tue 07-Sep-10 16:08:14

lol at mould.

That would look nice engraved on a stone.

January 2001 - The Month You Grew On Me... Like Mould

NorbertDentressangle Tue 07-Sep-10 16:42:25

MmeLindt -that personalised sign really is truly bleurgh isn't it?

I can imagine variations along the lines of:

"....participating in competitive sleep deprivation since (insert date of first born)"

"....bickering over who's turn it is to put the bins out since (insert date you moved in together)"


sooz28 Tue 07-Sep-10 16:56:12

I have 3 cushions, matching runner, & cashmere throw on my bed at the moment.

In my defense they were a wedding present, and we do love them. They normally live in a large carved chest in our bedroom, but have been brought out for selling. (they don't go in or out the chest every night, nor do we shag on the's antique!) Infact, I think the only time we've ever really used them is just after the wedding, and then every time we've sold since then.

KingThistle I hate it even more now I know that

PerArduaAdNauseum Tue 07-Sep-10 18:07:42

I want a personalised sign. Richmond Park - Mr & Mrs PerArdua's first outdoor shag grin

sooz28 Tue 07-Sep-10 18:48:15

selling the house, not the throw smile

somehow, I think a nice fluffy bed will sell my house.

PortBlacksand Tue 07-Sep-10 18:55:33

I have matching dogs on my bed right now. One is black and white, one is black brown and white and one is brown and black. The bed linen is brown, the throw to keep the dog hairs off is brown.

Does this count?

Needanewname Tue 07-Sep-10 19:35:40

DH has said that maye the cushions may be to help maintain certain sexual positions!!!!!!

lamplighter Tue 07-Sep-10 19:38:09


No that does not count! grin

I spent bloody HUGE amount of money on a set of sofas with feather cushions. The cat threw up and peed over the whole lot.

In her defence she had just had an op and was traumatised.

Anyone want a middle aged cat with a deep meow that sounds like Paul O' Grady on Players Non Tipped fags?

IseeGraceAhead Tue 07-Sep-10 19:47:42

GOD, NO, I CAN'T STAND HOUSEHOLD OBJECTS THAT ARE 'NOT MEANT TO BE USED'. It reminds me of pretentious post-war fruit bowls, in which the fruit was not for eating.

I just had to shout! Sorry. YANBU!

RustyBear Tue 07-Sep-10 19:54:14

I have two cushions on my bed - when I go to bed I put one behind my back to stop me rolling onto my back and snoring. The other one supports my iPad at the right angle for reading or watching videos, while I am lying down.

The throw that spends the day at the foot of the bed goes on the floor next to the bed where I can reach it when I have a hot flush in the night & find the duvet too warm, but I want something over me.

puddlepuss Tue 07-Sep-10 20:13:30

I'm lucky if I get round to making the bed. Sod faffing with cusions.

Just as a little aside, NorbertDentressangle loving the name - ds and dh scream out your name everytime we see it on a lorry (not sure how this started but it causes great excitement which is quite sad as we cross the channel every 2 months). Just thought i'd mention that....might get it put on a stone....

YunoYurbubson Tue 07-Sep-10 20:19:56

What log things you get in hotels?

NorbertDentressangle Tue 07-Sep-10 20:26:23

puddlepuss grin

It is the coolest real name ever isn't it?

Especially if said with a deep, phlegmy French accent

lamplighter Tue 07-Sep-10 20:27:31


Bolsters. Uncomfortable bastards that look good.

Shaped like a sausage

puddlepuss Tue 07-Sep-10 20:33:25

Norbert I was hoping you'd say "Ooo, well puddle, I own the company - here's a lorry for your ds. Now he shall be forever happy" grin. Failing that, yes, much phlegm and spitting is required.

NorbertDentressangle Tue 07-Sep-10 20:39:27

puddlepuss -sorry, I'm afraid not (but on the positive side I'm not a hairy trucker either grin)

Shoshe Tue 07-Sep-10 20:52:33

blushblush Stands Up

I am Shoshe and I have cushions ....... lots of them........ and silk throw at end of my bed ... and a bedroom jug and bowl on the dresser and fancy candles........ And a box at the foot of the bed to put cushions in...... and DH IS NOT ALLOWED TO LAY ANY PART of his sweaty anatomy on themblush

In my defence (I have one honest dont laugh till you here it)

All my Children are grown up and left home, y bedrooms for the first time ever are grown up bedroom, NO CHILDREN ALLOWED.

AND the way our flat is laid out, the first door as you enter the flat is out bedroom, and I hate the door closed in the summer, I like the air to circulate.

SO THERE [sticks tongue out!)

puddlepuss Tue 07-Sep-10 20:53:03

Ah well, I'll just have to stalk the ports some more and steal one when the hairy truckers are sucking bean juice out of their beards grin

thefirstmrsDeVere Tue 07-Sep-10 21:03:46

I have 8 pillows and a bolster (used to be my maternity pillow) on my bed. I also have 8 cushions and my DD's teddy bear ( I dont usually abide soft toys but this one is different).

I have two duvets, one main one and one as a throw. I also have a handmade lap quilt (was also DD's donated by a special organisation).

Everything is pink. Every pillow case is different and the duvet covers are too.

I think my bed is beautiful. A heavenly mix of shabby chic and butterflies (for my DD).

Someone's nightmare is someone's bliss.

It does take fecking ages to change though grin

charlieandlola Tue 07-Sep-10 21:20:43

We sold our house in 6 weeks last year. Dressed it as much like a hotel as I could given piles of kids stuff everywhere.

Put orchids and Molton brown soaps in all bathrooms and loos

put matching throws, pillows and runner things on all the beds.

Jo Malone candles in reception rooms. New cushions and matching throws over sofas.

My bed is covered in hippos. And I'm proud of it. We all reserve to right to decorate our homes (and beds) as we see fit!

PerArduaAdNauseum Tue 07-Sep-10 21:38:34

<Ponders turning the dust bunnies under the bed into a delightful range of soft toys>

PortBlacksand Tue 07-Sep-10 21:40:14

Annie - tanks - now i know where to hide if the feds ever come looking for me....

thefirstmrsDeVere Tue 07-Sep-10 21:46:31

In my defence - I cant have much in the way of soft furnishing in the rest of the house. DS is very allergic to dustmites.

My room is also my girly haven in a house full of males.

OP - You are So Totally NBU. Throwing the cushions off a bed nad then back again in the morning drives me nuts. MIL has them all over the shop, finding somewhere for them at night in her tiny guest room means they have to go on the floor - what's the point? What a waste of time, shuffling them around. These ones are small, too, so no bloody use to lean against if reading as they slip down the back ... waffle waffle blah blah... <<drones on and on into the distance>>

See, I am TOTALLy with you on this. They look so naff, too, stuck in the '80s and ...<< off again>>

HouseOfBamboo Thu 09-Sep-10 18:09:05

YANBU - the ottoman is the finishing touch. An object whose ONLY use is to keep useless objects in. Hmm.

One can only hope for her sake that it might have additional shagfest properties which she was too delicate to mention.

noddyholder Thu 09-Sep-10 18:11:45

I hate 'accessorised' rooms it is a real epidemic in this country.I blame linda barker

HouseOfBamboo Thu 09-Sep-10 18:11:56

Oh and yy to bloody hotel bed paraphernalia. Stupid bolsters and nasty bedspreads that you just KNOW haven't been washed between guests - boak.

FellatioNelson Thu 09-Sep-10 18:14:22

I have four nicely arranged cushions on my bed. and an ottomon/blanket box.sad

But yes, I chuck the cushions on the floor every night. Or mostly sometimes I just leave them there for days. blush

Bonsoir Thu 09-Sep-10 18:16:09

I hate extra cushions, rugs etc on beds that have nothing to do with keeping warm/comfortable while sleeping.

But I do like beds to have a "look". Our bed currently has a charcoal linen undersheet, a poppy red linen duvet cover, two poppy red linen pillow cases and two grey/white cowboy shirt check pillow cases; and the bed head and valance are also charcoal linen.

HouseOfBamboo Thu 09-Sep-10 18:16:22

On the other hand the suggestions for words such as TWAT and DUMP on appropriate walls are inspired.

FellatioNelson Thu 09-Sep-10 20:16:40

I need to defend my cushions now. angry

My bedroom is extremely plain and pared down, and neutral/griege, except for the surplus --pointless- bed cushions which add an important accent colour, and some pattern (duck egg blue with bits of deep charcoal and chocolate if you're interested) which picks up the colour on the walls in the en-suite.

So not pointless. Pivotal in fact.

Don't you know who I am? I am Martha Stewart/Kelly Hoppen. Pah. You know nothing of accessorising. I can't be expected to work with these fools who don't understand about my art.

<flounce, stage left>

FellatioNelson Thu 09-Sep-10 20:21:10

And my ottoman does not contain pointless items thank you very much. It contains my pristine white, very high thread-count bedlinen. Four sets of it.

Some of it is from Frette.

<pauses smugly for you to take this monumentally impressive information on board>

FellatioNelson Thu 09-Sep-10 20:40:51

Oh dear. I've just read this whole thread now and I realise I am failing on several levels. I'll just remove the bottom photo on my profile.blush

I only just put them on last night, as well( after a request to do so. angry Who knew the public humiliation/backlash would come so soon? shock

Thank god there are none of my bedroom on there.

FellatioNelson Thu 09-Sep-10 23:01:27

I've added more now (because of another thread asking me to, not because I enjoy giving House of Bamboo something to laugh at) and just to throw you all off the scent of the offending photo, but there may have been a HOME sign somewhere.blush

LeQueen Thu 09-Sep-10 23:26:26

Houseofbamboo you would [shudder] at my house. I don't have an ottoman, however I do have an antique French pine cupboard, in which I lovingly and neatly place all of my bed linen (mostly French, from a little shop I know in Oakham) and towels...and in between my domestic linen I slip sachets of lavender.

Our bed is a 6 foot, cream iron bedstead, with a goosedown quilt and pillows. Bedding is white appliqued 800 thread cotton, with a Laura Ashley cream crocheted throw neatly folded across the foot. I have several scatter cushions, in antique linen which my SIL has brought me back from her frequent visits to French/Dutch flea markets.

On my bed-side cabinet (hand-painted in F&B New White) I have a small selection of old silver photo frames, antique books of poetry and a dainty china clock which belonged to my Nana.

On the walls are a selection of pencil etchings that I found at an antiques fair, and had mounted in delicately distressed pewter frames.

We have a little fireplace in our bedroom, and on the mantel I have various silver trinkets and a spray of dried lavender.

Our bedroom is utterly beautiful in every way, and is a haven of peace and tranquility

[steadfastly refuses to acknowledge MrQ's bedside cabinet, which although also hand painted in F&B's New White is cluttered up with back issues of PC pro, a broken i-Pod, a vulgar, digital clock and other random tat]

LeQueen Thu 09-Sep-10 23:35:30

fellatio have perused your house piccies (very lovely by the way), and am I correct in thinking your kitchen units are painted in Sugar Bag Blue? It's the colour I wanted on ours, but MrQ couldn't comprehend blue kitchen units. So, we had to compromise on New White on the cupboards and Matchstick on the island unit instead. But fully intend to have our dresser painted in Sugar Bag when he's not looking.

[fellow F&B fanatic, if you hadn't noticed]

durga Thu 09-Sep-10 23:45:02

I have Cunnilingus spelt above my bed. The fact that I can afford so many letters is evidence that I am considerably richer than any of you.

conkie Fri 10-Sep-10 09:46:58

I have 4 cushions on my bed but no strip thing at the bottom, however my sheets are designed to look like they have one of those strips. I think it is lovely and adds to the decor of the room

FellatioNelson Fri 10-Sep-10 10:01:16

durga Well, I would have spelt something longer and more impressive, (a poncey passage of poetry perhaps) but my letters are HUGE and made of very heavy rusty verdigis iron, and I had to lug them back in my suitcase from a trip to Stockholm. I could afford the excess baggage on longer words!

LeQueen no it's actually Blue-Gray (although it comes out more of a soft green/blue than either blue or grey!) it's a really beautiful colour but it looks lighter in the those photos than RL.

But if your one-off cupboards is to contrast the Sugar Bag would be lovely.

LeQueen, can I come for a sleepover at your house? Your bedroom sounds lovely.

My bedroom is vile.

I currently have 100+ odd socks on the floor next to my bed, plus piles of old magazines.

My bed base is attached to the frame with masking tape and one of the wheels is missing of the bed leg so the whole thing tilts slightly to one side.

I got into bed last night to read and realised that my book had a dried tea bag stuck to the cover. sad

So squalid.

TrinityIsAHappyRhino Fri 10-Sep-10 10:26:15

my bedroom is a shit tip

and I am serious

its the last room in the house that to tackle

we haven;t tackled it yet

I have a large cuddly snail that I cuddle in bed till gecko joins me

noddyholder Fri 10-Sep-10 10:44:29

Lequeen now that is more like it!

EleFunTess Fri 10-Sep-10 10:49:11

I secretly judge people who:

- Have loads of cushions and a jaunty throw on their bed
- Have Ikea art or those weird letter arrangements things that spell 'HOME' or 'LOVE'
- Have massive blown up Venture photography-esque photos of their family smiling like goons all over their walls
- don't have books (usually have mahoosive flat screen telly, though)
- have carpets that look like they are hoovered and possibly Shake N Vac'd daily
- have a lot of suspiciously '60 Minute Makeover' inspired 'looks' in their home, like twigs in a vase or pieces of material nailed above their bed or canvas pictures. NO.

Maybe it's jealousy grin. It's definitely snobbery. And it's wrong. I know this.

It's almost reverse snobbery, actually, as I like people who are messy, with lived in houses and slept-in looking duvets and stuff about the gaff.

AllarmBells Fri 10-Sep-10 10:55:38

PMSL at MrQueens, "vulgar, digital clock"!
Dare I ask LeQueen, does your granny's china clock have an Alarm or Snooze function? grin

LittleSarah Fri 10-Sep-10 11:18:23

Like QS I really would love a bedroom with extra cushions and a throw at the end, somethng that looks snug and cosy. Of course, I don't have the time or money to manage it...

My mum had one of those Keep Calm and Carry On posters framed (was a gift) in her kitchen. Last time I was there it fell off the wall.

On the kids' bedroom stuff; we got dd a princess style bed from next, all white painted wood with pink tunnel thing, wee fake material tower, she really wanted it.

However she now prefers to sleep on a mattress on the floor! (This was left after my mum kipped there).

LittleSarah Fri 10-Sep-10 11:20:50

LeQueen - I would love your house, I want a haven, not a jumble of clothes, mismatched furniture and an old wardrobe without a door (door is beside it as dh cannot find special screws to put it back on).

I would just like to say that there is a pic of dd on my profile that was not taken in my house, but in a local cafe (in case anyone thinks I have a penchant for whimsical wall slogans)!
I do want an ottoman, however.

LeQueen Fri 10-Sep-10 15:54:23

Ah, I wondered if it might be Blue-Gray, and I've noticed IRL it has quite a greenish tinge to it. We orginally had the tongue & groove in the DD's bathroom painted in Blue Gray, but was too turquoise, so had Lulworth Blue instead. Very nice.

It's so rare I get to converse in Farrow&ball-ese....Nearly wet myself earlier when I noted that Jo Malone is doing F&B inspired candles. Double the poncetastic factor.

LeQueen Fri 10-Sep-10 15:56:26

alarmbells it certainly doesn't have a snooze function. It has a haind painted painted scene of an 18th century French pastoral idyll on it...

LeQueen Fri 10-Sep-10 15:58:19

littlesarah well, it's taken us 20 years to get this house. We started off in a student squat...

Trick with mismatched wooden furniture is to paint it all the same. Slap some F&B New White on it, and it instantly looks good.

GetOrfMoiLand Fri 10-Sep-10 16:02:17

I bloody knew Le Queen would come on this thread and bang on about lavender.

LeQ, you are a ponce (tell you something you don't know). grin

And you and fellation going on about F&B paint. next you will be telling me you are on first name terms witj Johnny fucking Boden.

Get Orf Ma Fred <yelled in manner of Peggy Mitchell>

LeQueen Fri 10-Sep-10 16:08:36

[ducks behind Laura Ashley sofa, upholsered in pale grey linen, with The White Company knitted arran cushions on it]

GetOrfMoiLand Fri 10-Sep-10 16:16:36

<frisbees a fray bentos pie tin towards LeQ's artfully displayed collection of 18th century French pewter>

HouseOfBamboo Fri 10-Sep-10 16:26:21

LeQueen - your room sounds great! Even the lavender! wink I don't have a problem with ornaments - as long I don't have to shift them every time I want to use something.

And I don't even have a problem with ottomans - just think it's odd to have one which only contains the ornaments that you've had to shuffle from place to place just so you can get into bed.

Fellatio - your house looks scarily like mine in terms of decor shock But nicer envy Does this mean I am on some sort of slippery 3D word slope??

Lizzie69 Fri 10-Sep-10 16:29:08

A friend of mine really is on first name terms with Johnnie B.

I have poncey cushions and a throw thing on my bed. This is counteracted by the overflowing laundry basket, bits of used cotton wool and various Pret sugar sachets.

HouseOfBamboo Fri 10-Sep-10 16:29:50

I reckon the 'highlight OP' shading is F&B inspired, what do you reckon?

HouseOfBamboo Fri 10-Sep-10 16:31:32

Ah Lizzie - now what you need to do is ditch those poncey cushions and replace them with... a nice big bin!

LeQueen Fri 10-Sep-10 16:33:54

[dodges Fray Bentos pie tin, and sharply tugs faded Persian rug upon which getorf is standing, causing her to fall arse over tit]

NatalieDi Fri 10-Sep-10 19:32:15

I remain honestly convinced that it is unhealthy to make your bed in the morning.... Like, it promotes dustmites and sweat&skin flakes eating bugs. Ha!

Say no to making bed in the morning!!

solomanswife Fri 10-Sep-10 20:03:07

I have bunting in my kitchen. Should I be shot?

notsohotchic Fri 10-Sep-10 20:28:59

did anyone enlighten y'all as to what 'bolsters'/'log-things in hotels' are for? I have scanned the thread and not seen a reply!!

Tokyotwist Fri 10-Sep-10 20:35:14

Thought you were talking about my MIL. She has this set up in every bedroom. So when we visit, first thing I have to do is find a place in the room for the cushions and the folded animal print blanket on the duvet. Usually end up shoved on top of a wardrobe for the duration of our stay.


FellatioNelson Fri 10-Sep-10 20:36:17

HouseofBamboo - tell me what accessorising frippery is deemed acceptable in your home and let me analyse/judge please. I want to know what I need to ditch in my own house, and what is clearly ok to stay!

The trouble is, something can go from being quirky and sought-after one minute, to pedestrian and twee once the masses copy me get their hands on it. I'm too old/tired/broke to be constantly updating stuff. It's exhausting.

Now I will admit to having a framed Keep Calm and Carry on Poster in my downstairs loo. blush But I've had it for nearly three years! When I bought it I had to track it down and order it on tinternet, becasue I saw it in a magazine ONCE and I didn't know a soul who had one. Now you can't move the the fecking thing printed onto anything that stands still long enough. Only the other week I was thinking I'd chuck it and put a vintage photo montage of me and DH as kids in the frame instead.

LeQueen Fri 10-Sep-10 20:41:10

I've had a vintage montage of family prints (in tasteful black&white) hanging in our downstair's loo for the past 3 years Fell. Do keep up...

LeQueen Fri 10-Sep-10 20:42:13

What I don't understand, is why wouldn't people want their home to look presentable and attractive, and induce envy among their friends hmm

FellatioNelson Fri 10-Sep-10 20:43:59

shock See what I mean?


FellatioNelson Fri 10-Sep-10 20:46:06

OK, I'm feeling a game of accessory top trumps coming on.

I've got an original vintage Herbert Terry anglepoise lamp, in cream.

LeQueen Fri 10-Sep-10 20:53:53

[cracks knuckles and rubs hands together briskly in anticipation]

The bath mat and towels in the DD's bathroom are all Ralph Lauren.

ShirleyKnot Fri 10-Sep-10 20:56:16


One of my lurker friends emailed me at work to tell me about your post. She was having a horrible day and your post made her snort with laughter.

So thanks from me and her!

FellatioNelson Fri 10-Sep-10 20:59:28

A selection of poncey baskets from France line the top of the armoire in my hall.

LeQueen Fri 10-Sep-10 21:20:42

On the bookcase in our kitchen I have colour co-ordinated the books so they're all white/cream/beige covers in order to blend with my kitchen colour scheme.

Oh, and...[cough] I have a selection of handmade mugs from Toast ...[cough]

Fellatio I'll see your poncey french baskets and raise you a set of Designer kitchen scales with boxed pebble weights (that never get used cause no one can be arsed to fish the pebble weights out)but they look v. nigella on our worktop

FellatioNelson Fri 10-Sep-10 21:32:38

I have a lovely row of kilner jars with a veritable selection of worthy lentils and hand dried pastas, porridge oats, and other poncetastic larder staples which we don't eat and are only there for show on the shelf above my Aga.

Getorf please feel free to butt in and diss/sneer at any of my belongings, as I've stormed your fred.

LeQueen Fri 10-Sep-10 22:03:40

I want an Aga. I really want an Aga in the worst way. I never cook, so it would be purely decorative. But I don't see why that means I shouldn't have one [stamps foot]

LeQueen Fri 10-Sep-10 22:04:47

getorf is huddled up, frantically rocking herself. I know any mention of my lavedner bags gives her a panic attack.

MillyR Fri 10-Sep-10 22:06:30

Bunting in the kitchen? Baskets on an armoire?

My house smells of dog wee and I am very envious of all these strange items and consequently hate you all.

MrsThisIsTheCadillacOfNailguns Fri 10-Sep-10 22:16:18

I was looking through some catalogues yesterday and saw a doorstop made out of tweed.It was horribly expensive,but I rather liked it.[I think it was from Fur,Fin and Feather].However,after looking closely I have decided that I can very easily make one for a fraction of the price.I have already made one of those noticeboards with ribbons criss crossed on,so will make the doorstop in the same fabric.But for extra ponciness I am going to top up the weight with lavender.

I don't have cushions or cuddly toys on my bed though-you can go too far you know....wink

Housewife2010 Fri 10-Sep-10 22:24:15

Has anyone got a cream Kitchenaid? I'm lusting over one.

FellatioNelson Fri 10-Sep-10 22:42:31

blush to the cream kitchenaid. And the blender. And a cream Dualit toaster. But my matchiness stops there - honest.

Housewife2010 Fri 10-Sep-10 22:44:00

We've got the chrome Dualit toaster, chrome blender & Matching kettle

FellatioNelson Fri 10-Sep-10 22:45:08

[shocked] I've just seen SJ's post about the pebble weights. That's mental. They do really belong on this thread though, being pebbles and all.

FellatioNelson Fri 10-Sep-10 22:50:37

notsochic the hotel bedroom bolsters and other assorted extraneous bed frippery is so that when you arrive back at your room, vair vair drunk, you know you are in somewhere classy, and not a Travelodge. Although in my experience when you are vair vair drunk decent hotels are a waste of money, and Travelodges are fine, despite their piss-poor bed dressing techniques.

HouseOfBamboo Fri 10-Sep-10 22:54:54

Fellatio - okay so... <glances round living room>

On shelf by fireplace:
- Peppa Pig house in canary yellow, with purple sofa suite and accessories
- sparkly gift bag in green, containing a selection of miniature TV-character related merchandise
- stuffed 6" kangaroo (genuine Australian)
- Peppa Pig piggybank
- dodgy out of date family photos in wooden frames, which need a good editing

On walls:
- 1930s Beken print (sepia)
- framed old maps of surrounding area
- round 1930s mirror
- framed 1930's advertising poster for men's woollen suits hmm
- original 1970s lamps with dodgy knittedy fabric lampshades
- original Victorian and Edwardian postcards of surrounding area, in 1930s wooden frames

- nest of 1950s Ercol coffee tables
- 1930s-style rounded arm shaped brown leather sofas, accessorised with duck egg blue twill cushions
- Ikea Poang armchair

- Cream Dualit toaster grin (used to have matching kettle too, but it developed a terminal leak)
- retro chrome round-shaped kettle (to replace crappy Dualit failure)
- various Jamie Oliver-ness about the cookware

Okay - apart from the above, the twee-ery I hold aloft for heavy judgery is the range of reproduction 1930s advertising prints on small metal plates in the dining room. And the pastel and white spotted 50's-style tea towels and curtains in the kitchen (they are but a step away from actual bunting).

And... okay so I do have JUST THE ONE decorative cushion on my bed which I used as bump support during pregnancy. It MATCHES THE WALLS, okay?

FellatioNelson Fri 10-Sep-10 22:56:57

Which puts me in mind of when my DH took me to Nobu for my birthday and for a night of wild abandon in a tres chic hotel (of the bed bolster variety) afterwards. I got a bit over-excited at spotting Trevor Eve and another luvvy whose name escapes me right now in Nobu, and I drank one two many watermelon martinis, and fell asleep with my my face in my plate of the very expensive black cod signature dish, and, well, to cut a long story short, my DH wasted his money that night and wasn't best pleased with me in the morning.blush

But at least it makes a change for me to be the drunk embarrassing/useless one.

FellatioNelson Fri 10-Sep-10 23:08:42

OK. Thanks. I really like you now.grin

We are interiors soulmates.

I might have to judge you on the repro thingies, admittedly, but then you know that already don't you?

I'm loving the daring addition of 70's bits. But you are probably younger than me. I can't do it, at 44, or people will just think I never bought new stuff from the first time. blush

Also, I did do a great line in 50's and 60's retro stuff when I lived in a very modern house about 6 or 7 years ago, but I can't make it look right in my current house. I need to embrace the classic country house look. I do sneak in the odd eyebrow raising item though.

And I might need to judge the kangaroo....but otherwise all is well.

I have wanted some vintage travel advertising prints and maps for ages but the prices have gone really silly and I won;t buy anything repro if I can really help it.

I do have the most fantastic little 1950's school chair and desk set in an Eames stylee that I got in a charity shop for £15. (You've never seen a woman pay up and leave so fast in all your life.)

And an original 1930's EXIT sign (railway or underground related I suspect) from a boot fair for £7 from some useless know-nothing pikey junk dealer person who thought he'd done well out of me.hmm

FellatioNelson Fri 10-Sep-10 23:24:39

Ultra-luvvy Sir Peter Hall, that's who it was. Sorry - as you were.

HouseOfBamboo Fri 10-Sep-10 23:25:14

grin Fellatio - we are indeed interiors soulmates. And yes, I think the repro 1930s ad prints do have to go <sniff> .

I'm not younger than you (older by a year), but the 1970s lamps came with the house and it seemed a shame to get rid of them. Especially as we could probably only afford to replace them with crappy B&Q ones anyway (nice lamps are horribly expensive).

I noticed on the way to your photos that you are a Neil Diamond fan - now that is a TRUE indicator of excellent taste grin I have trouble deciding between Cracklin' Rosie and Sweet Caroline as his top track, I think Cracklin' Rosie has it by a nose...

FellatioNelson Fri 10-Sep-10 23:31:25

Well they are the two that remind me most of my childhood and make me sing loudly in the car, but I'm a big fan of Solitary Man, and his last few albums which are just fantastic.

And yes, Cracklin' Rosie is the more classy of the two. SC is very anthemic, but a verging on the pedestrian.grin

FellatioNelson Fri 10-Sep-10 23:36:23

Ooh ooh! I've just remembered! I bought from a junk antigue shop in St Ives about 12 years ago a set of 5 1960's Hornsea pottery John Clappison dishes for £10 for the lot. I think they are worth maybe £50 each (minimum) now. I use them regularly as well, which is probably foolish. I keep meaning to put one on Ebay, just to test the waters.

aloiseb Sat 11-Sep-10 00:19:02

I have cushions on my bed. They prop me up when I am reading the paper in the morning. I can assure everyone that they serve no decorative purpose whatsoever.

skirt Sat 11-Sep-10 00:21:43

I do all that and I've been married 22 years. Its simply as I am trying pathetically to recreate the ambience of Malmaison (sans enfants) in my 1970's house in a suburban cul de sac in scarborough.

durga Sat 11-Sep-10 00:29:37

grin shirley

FellatioNelson Sat 11-Sep-10 00:52:25

aloiseb are you my very own alouiseg after a few drinks?confused

Or is it all a horrible coincidence?

storminateacup10 Sat 11-Sep-10 01:09:12

Can't sleep so logged onto this instead and am now trying to supress chuckles of mirth- MamaMtundu-LOL-you just described my husband (but must admit he is at least having a good stab at re-arranging our VERY FEW bed cushions.
I'd like to point out that our bedroom is too small to swing a cat in, never mind an ottoman (if I could remember what one even is at 1am)
ninedragons- OMFG now I'm really struggling not to laugh out loud- you have just described THE most irritating, up her own backside, wannabe yummy mummy in the whole of NW6 whose daughter always used to hit/bite mine and who has gi-normous Silver and Coloured letters in both her children's bedrooms spelling their names (presumably in case she forgets their names when back from an all-night bender)...she has that bloody awful "Stay Calm and Carry On" in her kitchen AND "upstairs cloakroom" ya all of the above.
Surely given this, a few bed cushions seem positively tame???

TheBolter Sat 11-Sep-10 03:53:08

I have a fabulous bed, which right now I'm having trouble sleeping in, but I do draw the line at having cushions on it. I always imagine them to be the preserve of prissy girls who need to shower before and after sex.

FellatioNelson Sat 11-Sep-10 07:54:46

I have a friend who showers before and after sex, which I find odd. He DH does too. Can't think of anything worse than both having to get out of bed afterwards to shower and then get dry.confused

lovely74 Sat 11-Sep-10 08:04:52

I don;t even make my bed unless poeple are coming over and may see it.
But I alway wished I could be the kind of person to have nice cushions all over it.....

RustyBear Sat 11-Sep-10 08:07:42

Drawn back to this thread by Aitch's round-up quoting someone's disgust at the orchid and pyramid of towels in the bathroom.

I do usually have an orchid in the bathroom (not at the moment actually, as it got covered in vermiculite insulation when DS fell through the ceiling and I chucked it out) but the only pyramid of towels round here is the growing one on the floor of DD's bedroom.

For the retro equipment fans amongst you, I also have MIL's old Hoover in my garage - I think from the 50's if anyone's interested. It would probably be for ornamental purposes only though, I'm not sure if it still works and I'm not too keen on plugging it in to find out....

Miffster Sat 11-Sep-10 08:29:27

I thought the pieces of material at the end of beds were for cats to sit on, helping to prevent cat fur getting in the bed?

TheBolter Sat 11-Sep-10 09:15:18


Miffster a little smack on kitty's botty is usually the best way to avoid getting cat fur on the bed.

I think the types of people who have strips of material at the end of their bed are also the types to have palpitations at the thought of an animal <<shudder>> on their bed.

TheBolter Sat 11-Sep-10 09:16:23

(...unless perhaps that animal was a skinned one).

LeQueen Sat 11-Sep-10 09:19:36

Why would one want an animal on the bed, when one is an animal in the bed hmm

HouseOfBamboo Sat 11-Sep-10 11:33:01

Fellatio - Neil?? Pedestrian?? Noooooo... shock shock

Check out this live version and you are bound to change your mind:

Sweet Caroline

The 1950s pottery set sounds good. Have you googled similar to gauge prices? Damn, now I want to spend the weekend looking for 1950s frippery on ebay... (Our last house was 1930s, this one is 50s, hence the mish mash.)

HouseOfBamboo Sat 11-Sep-10 11:35:46

And re animals on bed, they can feck off too, along with the cushions.

When we had a dog, she once sicked up half a box of Milk Tray UNDER my pillow. So I didn't find it till I went to bed. Ta, little doggy.

FellatioNelson Sat 11-Sep-10 12:04:45

HOB it's these and there are four designs in the range I think. I have all four plus one duplicate. This site won't divulge prices though and they are indeed rare as I have never seen another one about from this one and mine.

HouseOfBamboo Sat 11-Sep-10 12:18:33

Ah sorry you said 60s not 50s. They do look really unusual, I haven't seen anything like those before (not that I'm a pottery expert). Great colours.

DirtyMartini Sat 11-Sep-10 18:54:10

Bit of a random hijack but would it be worth starting a thread about pottery? I am also keen on retro pots and love comparing notes. I'm sure I read in Homes and Antiques that Clappison is regarded as a wise investment, so prices should continue to go up in future

Re the bed cushions, I'm firmly of the belief they are entirely unacceptable if they aren't genuinely comfortable ones that get used. Rubbishy extra-small light ones are never ok. Ditto scarf thing, but actual warm useful blankets are a different matter.

FellatioNelson Sat 11-Sep-10 19:37:16

Ooh Dirty Matini, I like you. I was just thinking the same myself this afternoon, though not specifically pottery - that might be a bit too anoraky, and now I have shown my best hand I wouldn't have much else to contribute in the pottery department.

But a thread or a regular section in either clubs, or Property for lovely vintage collectables and junk priceless smug Ebay and boot fair finds would be a jolly fine thing. And we could all show ourselves photos of groovy home porn and everything. It would make me a very happy girl.

Did I mention my Herbert Terry Lamp? grin

DirtyMartini Sun 12-Sep-10 19:49:22

Let's do it! Am on iPod in bed feeding precariously snoozing baby so will not attempt new thread right this moment but am making mental note - or you can start it, if you feel like it and get round to it first

RudeEnglishLady Sun 12-Sep-10 20:06:36

Yeah, but my bed looks lovely! My fabric strip is actually a thin quilt that I made my mum specially make for me so it is practical also. DP knows he has to 'respect the cushions' or there is trouble.

I find the taking off of the cushions and then the arranging when I make the bed very therapuetic and I never begrudge the task no matter how busy I am. I also enjoy trawling sales for very high thread count bedding thats normally outside my budget.

I know it sounds mad but it makes me so happy and secure feeling to have a glamorous and comfortable bed. I have been known, when settling upon a particularly pleasing bedding/cushion combo, to photograph the bed and email this to my like minded friend (who will respond with opinion/praise). I don't have any other wierd decorating fetishes, honestly, this is my one house related madness.

LionsAreScary Sun 12-Sep-10 23:09:27

Hah. I have cushions and a throw bedspread thingy on my bed (no towel pyramid or big letters in the house though).

I love them. DH hates them. We do throw them on the floor at night and I throw them back most mornings.

The cat fur thing does work - in fact the cat once peed on the throw / bedspread thingy and it ABSORBED ALL THE WEE so what appeared to be a useless and slightly lower middle class accessory turned out to save us having to take the duvet to the dry cleaners.

And what a great excuse to buy another one - in a colour that matched the cushions.

wineonafridaynight Sun 12-Sep-10 23:19:22

We have decorative cushions...but they tend to get chucked on the floor at night! blush

HouseOfBamboo Mon 13-Sep-10 22:46:13

Fellatio - ooh yes that would be good.

Oh dear, I forgot to mention the somewhat poncetastic pile of Homes and Antiques mags that are also a feature of my home decor blush

nelliesmum Mon 13-Sep-10 23:17:31

Does anyone remember the nightdress case made from the real stuffed spaniel that someone found on Ebay. It was french and in the picture was sitting perkily on someone's bed with its tongue hanging out. It was a long, long time ago but certainly a highlight of my Mumsnet existence.


DirtyMartini Mon 13-Sep-10 23:49:01


<heads for Advanced Search>

FellatioNelson Tue 14-Sep-10 10:30:32

I have special enormous stiff-backed scrapbooks with clear plastic wallets, and A3 pieces of white card. These are for my poncestastic Homes and Garden clippings (of the inspirational photograph variety obviously, not grass and hedge clippings.)

When my magazines get to about three months old and/or the pile is a fire hazard, (whichever is soonest) I go through them all cutting out lovely bits and spending entire Sundays sticking them all in my speshal books. I've nearly finished volume III now.blush They are interiors porn of the highest order, let me tell you.

This practice bemuses/irritates my DH no end.

MiL has a large bowl of wooden fruit in her kitchen, painted to look real, very real. In fact so real she would be better to probably have real fruit. hmm

But perhaps she doesn't like the fibre as it gets in the way of the big stick up her arse? angry

nelliesmum Tue 14-Sep-10 13:00:01

See my MiL embraces the full set of M&S matching curtains, curtain tie-backs, wall paper, lampshade, duvet covers, valance etc. all in a pattern of pink rambling roses.

To be fair to M&S I think she bought this stuff in the 80s.

FellatioNelson Tue 14-Sep-10 13:09:44

My mil has exactly the same in the guest room. Everywhere you look you see the same pattern dancing before your eyes.confused

My name is Queffer, and I have a "keep calm..." poster.blush

In my defence, I got it 3 years ago, before they reached saturation point. And I have a "shut up and deal with it" picture to replace it.grin

I use my bed cushions for bfing.

I have an antique silk tapestry bed runner, but I'm too scared to put it on the bed. It would be covered in sick or semen within hours.

I used to have a sex-ottoman too. DH misses it.

FellatioNelson Tue 14-Sep-10 13:44:05

And who said ottomans were useless?

GetOrfMoiLand Tue 14-Sep-10 13:50:24

LOOK at you lot hijacking my thread with your House Beautiful fantasies.

I thought of LeQueen the other day when I was in Waitrose and saw a punnet/carton/whatever of wooden eggs. Why?

FellatioNelson Tue 14-Sep-10 13:58:12


I was wondering when you'd come back. I thought we'd driven you away permanently - screaming into the hills.grin

What's your house like then Getorf? Wall to wall concrete paving slabs, with the odd lino square for comfort, a padded cell, no pictures, no curtains? Bare lightbulbs with a single wooden chair beneath them? grin

GetOrfMoiLand Tue 14-Sep-10 15:22:03

It is actually Fellatio. Very minimal.

I don't do cushions or fabric. There is not a curtain or carpet in the house.

Wooden floors (parquet, not laminate, I am not council wink), white walls, black plain fabric sofa. Plain shelves with books the only ornamentation. 2 lamps. No blind on the windows (they are nice windows, don't want to cover them in curtains or blinds). A great big african necklace on the wall is the only ornamentation.

Kitchen, white cupbaords, really nice industrial sink. 3 painting. NO clutter or anything at all on the sides, apart from teh kettle (I used to put that in teh cupboard after use but DP nearly left me).

Bedroom - white sheets. Steel bedside table. White walls. Nothing else in room apart from shelf of books and mirror. I would actually like black lino on the floor but again DP thinks I am nuts so therefore have got floorboards.

No clutter anywhere. Loads of cupboards in which things are hurled stored.

Think you could say I have a very plain aesthetic grin

GetOrfMoiLand Tue 14-Sep-10 15:25:33

I would actually like plain lightbulbs around the house. I really like the design of lightbulbs and have no idea why we cover them in shades. We have got dichroic lights in the kitchen but I think they look mad in the rest of the house. I would like bare bulbs everywhere but DP loathes my lunatic asylum interrogation room look (his words) and so we have plain glass lampshades.

DD's room is BRIGHT BLOODY PINK and she has shaggy cushions and shit everywhere. She has let me down.

GetOrfMoiLand Tue 14-Sep-10 15:26:54

I think you and LeQ would cry if you saw my gaff, and start donating tapestry cushion kits or whatever.

FellatioNelson Tue 14-Sep-10 16:32:26

No, I wouldn't at all actually. I am a minimalist at heart, and I'm not big on ornaments or clutter at all, or curtains, but I have to have some out of necessity - my house is like an arctic igloo otherwise.

My kitchen is cluttered but that's because I'm an obsessive buyer of kitchen equipment. Everyehere else is rather pared down, albeit in a country house stylee. I'll see if I can put some pics of my previous (very modern) house on my profile so you beleive me!

GetOrfMoiLand Tue 14-Sep-10 16:39:09

I think I must be confusing you with LeQ and her lavender bags. grin

I am so minimal because I was raised in a very cluttered house, as soon as I left home I wanted clean sides and no crap anywhere. I am not Monica geller tidy, you should see the inside of my cupboards, everything is just slung in. grin

I actually really like other people's houses where there is an abunsance of stuff - some people have the talent to have a load of eclectic things around, and for it to look stylish. I have no sense of style at all really so if I tried the same thing it would look like Hilda Ogden/Old Man Stepote.

GetOrfMoiLand Tue 14-Sep-10 16:40:18

I BET you have got a kitchenaid. And really nice spatulas and tartlet cases envy

FellatioNelson Tue 14-Sep-10 16:51:44

Guilty. Only the one spatula though and I'm not sure it's that nice - just your average spatula.confused

FellatioNelson Tue 14-Sep-10 17:03:11

There you go - all the ones below the picture of the field are my old house. Doesn;t look quite so cutting edge now, but it was 7 or 8 years ago they were taken! And I'm sorry to report that I still seem to have cushions on my bead.blush

Look soon if you are going to, because I'll take them all off later today. Starting to feel like a show-off.shock

AbsofCroissant Tue 14-Sep-10 17:14:15

I was going to say, Fellatio, that your house is fabulous, until I got to the picture of the hallway with the cupboard at the end, with the letters saying "HOME" on top.

<<shakes head sadly>>

GetOrfMoiLand Tue 14-Sep-10 17:58:30

Fellatio - your home looks absolutely lovely.

I take it all back re tapestry cushions.

Lovelyu kitchen - I am very envious.

I am pursing my lips a bit at the HOME sign.

LOL also at your profile - ojne of you favoruite things is the Farrow and Ball colour card. grin

FellatioNelson Tue 14-Sep-10 18:02:44

I did admit to the HOME sign earlier in the thread ladies (keep up). grin

HouseOfBamboo Tue 14-Sep-10 18:58:11

Fellatio - yes you were there early with the natural stone bathroom, and is that a cherry wood kitchen? Love the sideboard!

Respect re teh scrapbooks - that's the sort of thing I keep meaning to do (then DH spirits them away to the recycling bin when I'm not looking).

Nelliesmum shock at the stuffed spaniel. No, I missed that one. Hope it didn't moult, that would be the worst of all worlds. (I feel bound to point out that the stuffed kangaroo I mentioned earlier is made entirely of man-made fibres. And hangs out on my child's bed, not mine.)

GetOrf - your house sounds v nice too. Very envy of the parquet flooring. <Swoon> at parquet and white walls.

There was an article in Homes and Antiques about how carpet is back. It can feck right back off again as far as I'm concerned.

FellatioNelson Tue 14-Sep-10 19:38:36

Yes, I think that about carpets too! Sometimes they just tell us all this crap to make us keep changing, and spending yet more money. I'm suitably old now that I don't necessarily care what's in or out anymore - I just have what I like, and I've learnt what is worth spending big money on and what is not. The good thing about an older house and loads of junk antiques and vintage is that you don't have a burning need to change the entire place every five years which gets exhausting, not to mention expensive.

There is something rather lovely about an ecelectic assortment of stuff that has evolved over the years, and where each piece has a story attached, rather than everyhwhere looking like an instant pop-up room set, no matter how trendy it is.

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