Being pi***d off with PIL

[nicmuz]

as they don't seem to be bothered about spending any time with my DC but are always with my SIL DS.

They look after my DN a couple of days a week when SIL is at work and the rest of the time they are at their holiday caravan as they are retired. When they return home to look after DN they pop round for 5 mins to see my DC then have to get home to do their jobs as DN takes up all their time when they have him. He is 3 my DS is 10 and DD 2.

I don't work and don't begrudge them looking after DN whilst SIL works its just that they very often have him for weekends and have done since he was born but can never see my DC for more than 10 mins at most each week if they are lucky. They only live 5 mins away when home.

It is annoying my DH as he thinks they should have our DC more especially at weekends to give us a bit of a break. This is because we were both brought up spending weekends with our GP's whilst parents were out, but that is not what is bothering me. It is they favour being with SIL DS rather than my DC.

Sorry about rant but SIL FB page has annoyed me as she talks about DS GP's taking him away and how much they're looking forward to it and its like they dont have anymore GC. It's got to a point where I would rather not see them anymore as it winds me up. I would never stop DH or DC from seeing them, Just me and as its for only 5-10 mins a week ot wouldn't be that much of a hardship.

[cumfy]

How were things with DS prior to DN's birth ?

[OTTMummA]

what would happen if you asked them to have the DC for a weekend/night so you and your DH can go out/ celebrate something etc?

[nicmuz]

They were very good with DS but then we moved away for a couple of years and in the meantime SIL had DN.

Since we've been back they've not bothered with DC much.

[cumfy]

So they were OK with DS until he was 4-5 ?

[MadAboutQuavers]

Tell them this is bothering you.

It probably hasn't even occurred to them.

[AgentZigzag]

I think it's quite a common thing, my PIL do it with my SILs children, but can't be arse with ours at all really.

Both my sets of GPs did it with my cousins and not us, which pissed off my mum no end.

It can seem unfair, and you feel hurt on behalf of your DC, I used to make an effort to contact my PIL but didn't bother after I saw the pattern emerging.

[WhereYouLeftIt]

Have you asked them if they are aware of the disparity? And of how they think this will affect their relationship with all their GCs in later years?

[nicmuz]

My Dh is going to have a word.

i suppose you think how could anyone, especially their GP, not want to spend time with your DC and the joy they can bring (not all the time mind)

I thought GP were supposed to have the best of both worlds, a couple of hours fun with the DC but then handing them back at the end.

[AgentZigzag]

When DD1 was 18mths we asked PIL to have her so we could go to a friends wake (we'd taken her to the funeral with us), MIL said she couldn't as she was doing FILs tax returns

We didn't bother asking again, and they've never offered.