OK, I'll try to keep this brief. I married for the first time 23 years ago. I was a vile, spoilt brat and treated my husband appallingly, I lied, I was unfaithful and didn't consider his feelings at all then I left him (luckily for him). He was a very, very nice man and I was an absolute cow.
I am, and have been for many years completely horrified by my own behaviour towards this man, I've never been like with anyone else before or since and when I think about it, it's like it was another person and not me. I'm so incredibly remorseful about the whole situation and I think about it quite a lot and feel that quite honestly, I really deserve to feel as shit as I do about it, not in a 'I'm such a martyr' way, just that if you behave so badly you should feel crap about it.
Anyway here's my problem, my closest friend of 30 years has found my ex on the dreaded FB though a friend of a friend. She knows how I feel about the whole situation and is pressuring me into contacting him to apologise for my previous behaviour because I 'owe him an apology'. I honestly think this would be a terrible thing to do. He is now married with children and I think although it might make me feel better I think it would be horrible for him to be even contacted by me. We've been apart for over 20 years, he's happy in a relationship, I'm happy with my DH and I just think it would be incredibly stupid and a pretty selfish thing to do. I'm quite shocked by how insistent my friend is being, for a start, it's really none of her business and I don't know why it matters to her anyway. I told her today that it wasn't going to happen under any circumstances so we've had quite an argument about it and I don't really get why she keeps going on about it or why she can't see that it would be a ridiculous thing to do. I really don't want us to fall out but at the same time I'm not about to go dragging up old wounds for someone just because she wants me to.
Sorry this is so long and rambly and my punctuation is crap. I'm steeling myself a bit for this but I would honestly appreciate your opinions on how to keep my friendship with her.
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42 replies
Megatron · 27/08/2010 16:18
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