to wish DH had bought me a better present

[whoneedssleepanyway]

DH got back yesterday from a 4 day stag do in New York (let's not talk about that, it would be a whole other thread....) while I had the DDs on my own for 4 nights and had to juggle work etc round this, cope with poorly teething baby, broken fridge etc.

I was expecting him to get me a present, he did but it was a bottle of perfume that I haven't worn for years and was actually a refill bottle so doesn't even have the sprayer thing on it if you know what i mean.

I know I am probably being a bit unreasonable and ungrateful but would it have been too much to ask that he went and got me something nice from NY, it is not like there is any shortage of shopping opportunities, rather than making some rushed purchase from the duty free at the airport becuase he clearly thought, sh!t ought to get the wife something.

[hairytriangle]

Personally I think it's a bit ungracious to 'expect' a present ever.

On the other hand, as he did, he could have given it a bit more thought.

[JodiesMummy]

I have learned the long and hard way to accept the fact that my DP just does not put the thought in to presents the way I do. It hurts and I wish it wasnt so, but it never changes. Perfume is not so bad. Just guilt trip him into looking after the kids so you can get out for a bit.

[GeekOfTheWeek]

at a stag do in new york.

[whoneedssleepanyway]

GeekOfTheWeek don't even get me started on that, as I said it would be a whole other thread......

[StuckInTheMiddleWithYou]

YABU

It was a stag do not a shopping trip.

[nomedoit]

YANBU. Not at all.

[bamboostalks]

I'd be peed off too. Were you specific in wanting a good present? I would have been!

[PositiveVibes]

LOL at "shopping opportunities" - he was on a stag do FGS! I'm not sure a group of guys are going to be doing much serious shopping are they?? (not suggesting any unsavoury goings-on, just that blokes + shopping doesn't usually add up!!) Sorry you got a rubbish present, he probably didn't realise it was a refil, was probably hungover and thought he recognised the look of the bottle as one you'd worn so you must like it etc!

I agree with Hairy that its a bit unreasonable to "expect" a present ... my DH would probably just have brought back the shampoos and bath stuff from the hotel ...

[GeekOfTheWeek]

sorry op, I just can't seem to get over a stag do in nyc

[SoupDragon]

you're right, you are being ungrateful.

[pearlsandtwinset]

Sometimes it can be hard to stomach; for giving birth to our DD I got a Cadburys Cream Egg. So yeah, I empathise, but also I think he did try, albeit not what one of your girlfriends would have got you.

It's a refill, so get another so that you have to use first (double spoil)

[theskiinggardener]

I think it depends how much he appreciates the fact that he got 4 days in NY and you got 4 days of DC's. A decent present would have shown appreciation, but he could always show his gratitude in other ways instead.

If he does neither he's very silly.

[whoneedssleepanyway]

I agree it is unreasonable to "expect" a present, but the man spent a fortune on himself going on the damned trip and it isn't the first stag do he has been on this year and am just a bit peeved that he didn't show his appreciation that I moved my work commitments etc to accomodate his social life

[TitsalinaBumSquash]

This is the reason that i always tell DP what i want, then there is no dissapointmet.

[compo]

He'll have been in bars getting drink not shopping in Bloomingdales!

[traceybath]

YANBU

But you know - prepare better next time. Choose your own present and get it delivered to his hotel so all he has to do is pack it in his case

[diddl]

You sound really ungrateful tbh.

Unfortunate that baby is/was teething, but what does the broken fridge have to do with anything?

[StuckInTheMiddleWithYou]

Instead of getting worked up about a bottle of perfume, why don't you arrange to go and see some friends yourself for a few days?

[PawMum]

you are being a bit unreasonable but my husband once went to Holland and brought me back some M&Ms ffs, so I would have been quite grateful with perfume

[whoneedssleepanyway]

broken fridge has nothing to do with it really, just had a cr@ppy time while he was away that is all and feeling a bit p1ssed off.....am already planning my own trip to NY later in the year (i can dream )

[howdidthishappenthen]

It's it's a big brand one, can you not take it back to a department store and swap it for one you like (with maybe a little 'top-up' if nec?

[gagamama]

Sorry, YAB a bit U. It sounds like you've had a rotten few days while he's had a great weekend, but I don't think it's fair to moan about the gift. Stag dos aren't exactly renowned for shopping expeditions, and you'd obviously agreed to the arrangements with regard to your work and childcare beforehand. He bought you something and it was something he obviously noticed you haven't bought for a while, so not totally thoughtless. What sort of gift would have made it ok?

[alarkaspree]

I don't think you have any particular reason to be grateful for that present, as you say he obviously picked it up in duty free and didn't put much thought into it. However there aren't that many shopping opportunities on stag weekends, so perhaps you shouldn't have had many expectations. Sometimes a crappy present is worse than nothing though.

Don't just dream about your own weekend to NY later in the year, book it! He gets time away, you get time away. If it's not genuinely practical (e.g. your baby is exclusively breastfed) then do something else but do something. Then you won't have to get upset about perfume.

[JodiesMummy]

If DP bought me perfume I would be happy. Its clearly one you have liked in the past so that shows some thought. Try a packet of bubble gum GIFT WRAPPED. Yes, that was a nice Christmas! My DP is so crap at gifts I would probably fall to the floor in gratitude if I got perfume!

[hairytriangle]

I think I must be extremely low maintenance!

(although my dp does bring me tea in bed every day - insert showoffy smiley here)