To get annoyed with the general intolerance towards children?

[BobMarley]

Now I'm all for children being tought how to behave especially in public, but I recently had my 5-year old snapped at by an old lady because she ran passed her. On the promenade by the beach. Opposite the children's zone. The old lady was sitting outside her beach hut and my daughter ran passed.

Another time someone on Facebook complained about a child incessantly talking on a train. She thought it was unacceptable in public and the parent should have kept the child quiet because it was annoying everyone. Needless to say this was someone who did not have children. When I commented that she might think differently when she has children of her own I got flamed.

AIBU to think people are just intolerant and children aren't allowed to be children and are expected to be mini-adults?

[Isawthreeships]

YANBU. The UK is still very 'Victorian' in believing children should be seen and not heard. Much of the rest of the world is, thankfully, very child-friendly.

[EveWasFramed72]

I think these are isolated incidents, tbh. My two are well behaved, but at 4 and 2.10 are active and into everything. So, when I take them to the supermarket, and they don't ride in the trolley, they are 'busy', but I've never been anything but complemented by the people around the shop (mostly older folks).

I've only ever encountered one miserable person...it was on the 7 hour flight to the US, and he complained about DS kicking the back of his chair (poor ds...his feet STOP right at the chair in front!), but that's been it.

[slouchingtowardswaitrose]

YANBU. The attitude to children in this country is appalling.

[FindingMyMojo]

I don't feel there is a general intolerance of children - well certainly not in London. I've only ever had positive responses to DD and we are out & about all the time. We've even had elderly folk giving her a pound on the bus for being so delightful!!! (she was asleep then - maybe the pound was for sleeping in public ?)

I read about here on MN but I thankfully haven't experienced it yet. As EVE suggests, perhaps these are isolated incidents rather than examples of a general intolerance. You're always going to encounter grumpy people out there in the weird wide world.

[strawberrycake]

I must live in a different area, I'm 100% more popular locally now I have a cute baby. The local shops suddenly know me, I have friends coming out of my ears and am regularly accosted in the street. It was the same with my friend's three year old when I took him out yesterday too. Bus drivers are suddenly nice too and prescriptions/ appointments have been lightening fast! This is London as well where people never talk to each other.

[Isawthreeships]

Strawberrycake and Eve, you are very lucky.

I have family who live overseas where children are everything and the culture is completely geared around children. It's not just that children are welcome at restaurants, weddings, cinemas etc but you would be thought of as rather if you left them behind (as is so common here, with so much emphasis on adult time). For all that people in the UK may be polite, I don't think we have a truly child-friendly society.

[LittleMissHissyFit]

There are plenty of places worse than the UK for children.... Much of the rest of the world is more child friendly is a huge over statement!

I've lived in places that say they are child friendly, but it's a load of tosh, the kids are just left to run feral, they have nothing to do, no facilities and never have a bed-time. Mostly the mothers don't even bother undressing them for bed, so they sleep in their clothes. The fathers have absolutely zero role or interest in the children, unless it is to run errands for the parents.

Here we have a balance, our DC are provided for in activities and facilities, yet they are structured and in bed at a reasonable time, both for their own development and our adult time.

Tbh it IS annoying when anyone talks incessantly on a train... Adult on flaming mobile phone or child chattering.

I don't agree with DC running about in cafes or restaurants, they can run about in parks and playgrounds. When they are sharing space with adults, they have to behave accordingly.

Before anyone slags off this fine country, they need to go see other places.... This is a wonderful place to raise our children.

[Itsjustafleshwound]

I think the issue is more appropriateness than a dislike for children. Yes, kids should be running around at the seaside and out and about, but at the same time there is a time and a place for it.

[violethill]

I agree with LittleMissHissyFit.

It's just become a cliche to say that the UK is not child friendly, and that everywhere else loves children, and welcomes them with open arms etc. As LittleMiss says, many such countries have appallingly outdated attitudes to children (and women) - just because you see kids being dragged out with their parents doesn't mean that the kids are settled and contented. At least in the UK there are masses of childfriendly places to go. It's so easy nowadays to eat out, or go to places which positively market themselves towards families.

Tutting at a child for running at the sea side is out of order, but as for getting irritated with someone talking loudly non stop on a long train journey - well, it would annoy many of us, whether it was a child or not. It's never too early to teach your children respect for others.

[DilysPrice]

I think you only notice the grumpy sods, just like the grumpy sods only notice the badly behaved children.

My personal bugbear is the people who think that young children should never take a seat on the train/bus if an older person is standing. Actually a three year old is much less capable of standing safely or comfortably for a long journey than an adult - why the hell shouldn't they sit, and a fit adult give up their seat? I'll go to the effort of sitting them on my knee, or standing myself, if the transport is crowded, and I'll make them get up for deserving cases if they're in a priority seat, but all other things being equal I don't see why they should always have to be the ones to give up their seats for old ladies. (that said, most people are very understanding, and I frequently get unsolicited offers of seats on the tube for me or the kids from charming twenty-somethings).

[usualsuspect]

I never realised trains were meant to be silent ..I love hearing chattering children

[FunnyLittleFrog]

Some folks are just intolerant of other people in general, be they young or old.

I think that generally speaking, the UK is reasonably child friendly. Think of all the parks, open spaces, free museums... and DD and I always get plenty of smiles and hellos when out and about.

[megapixels]

YANBU. Especially since for lots of people their special time out involves not even seeing any children. Even other people's.

[Shodan]

YABU.

It is always easier to notice and comment upon the few who are unfriendly towards children because they are generally a minority.

For instance, when you had your day at the seaside, how many people smiled at your child/made a nice comment/perhaps talked to them or you?

You can't generalise a whole nation based on the actions of a few.

FWIW I've only had smiles, compliments and helpfulness when out and about with ds2 (2.8).

I really do object to the attitude, which seems quite common, that just because some parents like to have evenings out/ time away from their children sometimes that they don't like children or we are not a child friendly country.

[BobMarley]

Actually Shodan, you have a good point that a lot of people were generally very nice to my children at the seaside and I only notice the grumpy ones!

I don't actually think that the UK is that child unfriendly and there are certainly a lot of facilities for children. But I suppose that is a little bit the issue, children are allowed to be children in specific places but are often expected to behave like adults in public places like on public transport.

But they have just as much right to be in public spaces as adults and why shouldn't they be allowed to behave like children?

And I don't mean misbehaving and being terrors, just being children and not adults.

[LynetteScavo]

YANBU. The UK has always been unfriendly to children. It's a traditions lots of people like to hold on to.

[MistyB]

Earlier this year children were officially allowed to make noise in Berlin, the first German state to exempt children from strict noise polution laws. That said, they are still required to be quiet on Sundays!

[ppeatfruit]

Yes onedeadbadger and we should bring back the birch and hang poachers oh and send pickpockets to Australia Respect children and they will respect you YANBU

[SkiHorseWonAWean]

YABU - nobody gives a monkey's about your children.

[SeaTrek]

I cannot say I have ever found it to be a problem tbh.

Yes, I do get irritated by children on trains/planes playing with their DS with the volume up but that irritation is really directed towards the parents and I tend not to show it. My son most definitely knows that it is NOT acceptable to have the sound on at all in a public place. He also knows it isn't acceptable to talk loudly and constantly in a confined public place either, although needs reminding sometimes and I have always found others very kind.

Children are just learning though and I am more tolerant of their noise than the noise from adults though. My DH, who commutes to London several times a week, often comes home complaining about the 'shouty people' who insist on shouting their conversations in their awful fake 'posh' accents...one can only assume they had no training in basic manners when growing up.

[curryfreak]

YABU. I think there are far too many adult spaces increasingly being crowded out by children and their pushy parents.
Most children get on my nerves and are extremely dull!

[Firawla]

I find most people are nice to mine, don't get a lot of intolerant comments. We are in London and find it quite children friendly really, its just the odd stuck up few people who are very anti children, I would just ignore them. They are probably quite miserable people who chose to see a problem in everything and complain rather than see the good in the situation, I bet they do it to most things too not just children
I don't see the problem with dc talking in trains, if they are talking to their mum what is the problem of the other person, they are not the one who has to respond. Just put headphones in if they are that bothered! Could do a lot worse than just talking

[MmeRedWhiteandBlueberry]

But some children are too loud on trains. Why should this kind of behaviour just be tolerated? The parent should teach their child to speak in a quiet voice when they are in a public place.

Gosh, I get irritated by my own children when they get loud, and I have to remind them to use their indoor voices.

[usualsuspect]

I never knew people were so bothered about children talking on trains ..you learn something new every day on MN ...