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If there was an allergy AIBU page I'd be there right now!!

(50 Posts)
BlueBumedFly Sat 20-Apr-13 00:32:32

I use fb and have linked to a page that makes good nutritional suggestions for packed lunches and home cooked ideas for kids. It's a good well thought out initiative. Anyway (rant approaching) tonight said page asked about food allergies, do we make or buy to help them provide allergen-free ideas. A poster (not from cool initiative) comes on saying about germs and clean freaks and pets like we are all a bunch of people who have I initiated our kids' allergies by the way we brought them up.

Red Mist.

I tried to explain that there was no link between cleanliness and allergies and apparently I was being antagonistic. Seriously?? I think the description of all the things that take place in this persons household followed by ... 'and did I mention, no allergies??' tipped me over the edge, its been a long day ...

Now I feel bad for ranting on the thread but I felt so angry .... dare I say it ... AIBU??

Bessie123 Sat 20-Apr-13 00:44:17

Yab a bit u because your post doesn't really are much sense. But if it is just someone being a dick, post a childish insult to them, as if you are about 12. That always makes me feel better. May I suggest 'you are a massive turd' (my current favourite). It is really not helpful for someone to say you caused your dd's allergies by being too clean - wtf? I am not surprised you feel a bit annoyed.

Aibu to be bored of sitting in a&e with dd and her allergic reactions - which is where we are now..
I am tired!

Bessie123 Sat 20-Apr-13 01:09:49

Oh dear, I hope your dd is ok.

Thanks Bessie.
So far only piriton & steroids managing to avoid epipen for now

BlueBumedFly Sat 20-Apr-13 05:13:20

Sorry for any ambiguities but was trying not to be too specific for fear of outing myself in RL. I was just so annoyed to think people think its really just so simple.

GirlsAYear - I hope you got sorted swiftly and your DD is ok and you got home for some sleep x

Think we got to bed about 4am.
She's still asleep but I had to get up with the others at 630.

She has known allergies so people think easy just avoid them simple..
Trouble is she also has unknown allergies & airborne ones to certain trees.

Try avoiding walking past trees hmm

Yanbu but I think allergies are something you can't really understand unless you're living it really..

BlueBumedFly Sat 20-Apr-13 08:07:45

Oh that's very stressful for you, like you say trees are unavoidable. Oh I do hope you can get done sort of resolution.

I think what got me was the glibness of the 'guess what no allergies' after the poster suggested her LOs didn't have allergies as they were allowed to roll in the mud and not wash their hands after petting animals.

I did try to explain rationally ... feel a tad silly today though ...


I don't blame you for getting annoyed!

ukey Sat 20-Apr-13 10:59:55

am I being thick? whats AIBU?

Am I being unreasonable? It's another section of mums net. You have to wear armour to go there ! wink

ukey Sat 20-Apr-13 17:06:13

ah right I don't use any other sections of Mums net purely just the allergy section.

fwiw we are most deff NOT clean freaks, and still have allergies

asthma, hayfever, eczema, nuts, peanuts and egg.

Also as u mentioned fb there are 2 fab support groups there too.

one is CAN childrens allergy network

the other is a specific nut/peanut group

BlueBumedFly Sat 20-Apr-13 21:34:55

I know, I rarely post anywhere else than here and that is rare. I was tired emotional and bloody angry. It was just so glib. My red mist descended and yes I was a bit irrational. As I said, I tried to explain and still got the 'I do x, y & z and my kids are fine' I thing the line 'so its the mother's immunity then' that really made me angry.

For anyone who wants to know SDDs peanut desensitisation is still going well and we are so happy with the results (for those who don't know the history we went from anayphylaxis at 75th of a peanut to 25 peanuts). There is great progress and I am so hoping this science expands to more allergens, the team are amazing.

ukey Sat 20-Apr-13 21:40:44

oh wow how amazing does ur DD have other allergies? does she still carry epi pens?

Wallison Sat 20-Apr-13 21:44:49

Oh, there are so many people out there with crap assumptions about allergies that it's almost unreal. I got used to dealing with all kinds of shit - the ones that said surely a bit won't hurt, it'll help him get used to it, the ones that said it was probably because we don't have a hairy pet, the ones that said their kids were ok because they were breastfed etc etc. My favourite moment was always when someone asked what my DS's reaction to the allergen was and I would reply "anaphylaxis". Yeah, that shut them up. grin Not so easy to label that as fussy or psychosomatic, is it, you fool?


dh has allergies, mainly dust mites (asthma) and you can't get rid of those!
plus hayfever- you can't clean outside.

I was brought up in that same house as my sister with some allergies but I have none. that blows the germ theory out.. doesn't it!

BlueBumedFly Sat 20-Apr-13 23:28:19

ukey - yes, but they have all 'dampened down' apart from cat fluff. We still have epipens, you can never say never but we are in a really much better place.

Wallison & U&A - feel your pain I agree you can't know it till you live it but have some freeking common sense people, we don't want this for our kids, I'm sure some people still think its all made up sad

Bessie123 Sat 20-Apr-13 23:32:14

Well at least the dirty woman gets to feel smug about her kids having no allergies in her pigsty

ukey Sat 20-Apr-13 23:37:09

that's really great BlueBumedFly how old is she?

Great news re desensitisation bbf

I have 4 dc and only one with allergies so how does that work with the clean house theory!

My best ever 'you bloody idiot' moment was when I had a birthday party for the dds 2nd & 3rd birthday.
She was still cmp allergic as well as the ones she still has - egg, nuts and sesame seeds.

I made all of the food so that dd could eat whatever she liked at her own party including homemade cake & biscuits.

A dad turned up late with his ds and complained that there was no gluten free food for his son.

'Oh I didn't realise he was gluten free' I say

'Its something we are experimenting with' says he..

'Oh well my dd could die if she eats the wrong thing so I cater for that really.'

Really couldn't think what else to say.
It's because of people who think its 'fashionable' to have allergies and intolerances that people who genuinely have them get bad press.

While we are on the subject - dds reaction on Friday made her nose swell up so much it made her nose bleed.
Has anyone had that before?

Bagofmashings Sun 21-Apr-13 19:08:27

Oh my god Bluebummedfly I feel like carrying a photo of the inside of my house around with me to show to people that it's not too clean!!

I've had so many comments from people who clearly don't have a clue about allergies. In the last couple of months I've been told by one woman that the reason her DC's don't have eczema is because she breastfed them till a year to keep them away from milk, I couldn't even be bothered to ask her if she was avoiding milk too.

Then another woman spent some time explaining to me that I could cure DS's nut allergy by giving him Nutella hmm. Admittedly she did look a bit sheepish when unexplained that his consultant had told us that even a very small amount of nuts could stop him breathing!
And then there was the woman with the lactose intoletent child who could only drink goats milk (which has as much lactose in it than any other type of milk).
I do try to see the funny side of it or ignore but it's so difficult when your struggling with constant reactions.
Hope your DD's ok girlsyearapart

TiredFeet Sun 21-Apr-13 19:18:59

Yanbu, people make idiotic comments about allergies. I breastfed ds and he has multiple severe allergies. Our house is most definitely not immaculate, far from it blush

My bil and sil are constantly insinuating we are just being neurotic even though we have told them about his anaphlyactic reaction at 6 months (first taste of cows milk) and his allergies have all been established through blood tests. Yet they are suprised we won't let them babysit!

girlsyearapart a party with all stuff your dd could eat sounds perfect. That dad is an idiot! I always have to take ds special food to parties, I would never think to complain

trixymalixy Sun 21-Apr-13 20:27:35


I did everything "right". Avoided everything I was told to in pregnancy, ebf to 6 months then weaned, several pets, didn't use antibacterial cleaning stuff,DEFINITELY don't have too clean a house, yet still have two allergic children.

My favourita was being told that me breast feeding caused the allergies. Apparently they were exposed to dairy etc too early and if I'd fed them formula they wouldn't have allergies. When I pointed out that formula is primarily made of cow's milk, I was told that was rubbish hmm.

I have one allergic DC, one with no allergies. Breastfed both, not particularly clean house etc.

bagofmashings I like the eczema-free bfed baby. wish I had one of those. dd's eczema is so bad the nurse is convinced she's going to be scsrred for life (the scratching) and she's still bfed at 16mo.
I cut out dairy for about 2vmonths but didn't notice s difference. (not ruling out allergies yet but there doesn't seem to be a trigger)

my friend can't have dairy (I think it's lactose but not sure). it calmed down a lot after she had her last baby, so she started eating cheese. she was okay, but her baby reacted really badly. so much so that he went red as a beetroot after a feed. as soon as she cut out dairy again, it never came back for him. (she used to be able to gave milk as cheese, but very rarely and while she was pg she reacted really badly to it again)

ukey Sun 21-Apr-13 21:51:31

re the nose swelling and bleeding, no we have not had that during reactions,

only lip swelling, eyes etc.

so no experience of that....

only nose issues we have are hayfever related, congested, runny, bleeds etc.

such a mine field with allergies as u never know what its gonna throw at ya next!!

She has had swollen nose before but not with a nose bleed. We do like to have a variety of different reactions though .. hmm

unique dd looked like she had been burnt until she was around 10/12 months when they finally realised she had cmp allergy & began effective treatment.
I thought she would never look clear ever but now aged 4.5 she is fine apart from her hands (difficult to stop her reacting to things she touches)

The only scars she has are from chickenpox.

neolara Sun 21-Apr-13 23:29:23

I think the state of my house should categorically put the bed the theory that allergies are caused by cleaning obsessed mothers. Send some researchers over here. (Sometimes I long to be a cleaning obsessed mother, but then I can't be arsed so my house is a pigsty. DD still has allergies though.)

MERLYPUSS Mon 22-Apr-13 12:09:47

People can afford to be wankers when allergies don't affect their children.
Thankfully mine only get mild hayfever, excema and pet hair sniffs as far as I know.

BlueBumedFly Mon 22-Apr-13 22:58:34

I whole heartedly agree and sympathise with you all, it's a good job we have this forum to rant about the stupid people with others that truly understand. I am really enjoying reading all your comments, not because I'd wish an allergy on my worst enemy (well apart from Mrs Glib in the Pigsty) but because you all care.

As we all know allergies do not care for whom they affect, clean, grubby, EBF, formula-fed, live in a palace or live in a pigsty, they are just buggers and its up to us to protect our kids and educate the less well informed (what I actually meant to say was know-all-idiots) and rise above the idiocy of some comments - however as I started this thread you will notice I'm not very good at rising above glibness!

I heard a great saying this week, tenacity is patience with teeth in, and that's what we need until every single allergy has a proper health plan and all the realms of treatment/desensitisation/protection has been put into place to give our kids the freedom they deserve.

>ahem, getting off the soap box now I promise..<

Ukey - she is a teenager now, if you want any more information just PM me x

BlueBumedFly Mon 22-Apr-13 23:02:44

Merlypuss - just spat out my tea reading your first line smile

BlueBumedFly Mon 22-Apr-13 23:05:08

Girlsayear ...nosebleeds are ringing a very distant bell now I come to thing about it but it would have been a good few years back and if I remember rightly in one of those indoor forest type places?

How is DD today? I'll bet you are still shattered aren't you?

MERLYPUSS Tue 23-Apr-13 09:22:52

Sorry. What's all this about nosebleeds? DT2 has frequent heavy nose bleeds and ENT said it was a thin vein or something. Had 2 yesterday as he bumped his nose in the bath the night before I think. (I was neglecting them and putting the washing away. Bad mummy) Again in hte night and one at school. He has the hayfever and excema which I think is exacerbated by citrus and tomatoes - no swellings just dry skin.
Is it possible hayfever could be causing it or something else? It doesn't SEEM seasonal............ Help?

eragon Tue 23-Apr-13 12:30:32

sadly the nasel sprays and rhinitis can cause walls of veins in nose to be thinner. = nose bleeds.

if frequent and severe, go to gp.

They said her nose bled as it had swollen up so much..

Yes still shattered it takes a long time to get over a lost nights sleep!

LadyTurmoil Wed 24-Apr-13 13:52:58

Has anyone talked to their GP about food allergies? I've just gone to ask for allergy testing for soya (ate edamame beans on hols and my face went red, swelled up and felt awful - great when loads of family gatherings going on). GP I saw has agreed to blood test for soya, gluten, dairy and thyroid (while we're at it!). Spoke to other GP at practice who I normally see, when I was making follow-up appt) and he said it's easy to get false positive for soya and why bother when I can just exclude soya. Ha! Have started looking at ingredients on stuff and it's bloody everywhere.

Also, as I have eczema on face (have tried steroids, creams, ointments etc), seem to have sun allergy now as well, I'm feeling really down about life and feel I need to DO something!

Comments would be very welcome! Has anyone tried homeopathy, naturopathy etc etc smile

we've not talked to the GP about it, but the dermatologist said tat because DD's eczema started so young, it was "unlikely to be food"

we've really got to get it sorted soon though sad

aloe vera is a good sunblock, but i suppose you've tried that already.

BlueBumedFly Wed 24-Apr-13 19:57:56

GP and allergies do not normally mix well unless you have one with a real interest in the area. Can you ask for a referral to an allergy clinic? Did you get any photos of your face - its always good to take 'proof'.

My DD can only use Proderm Mousse as sun screen, anything else makes her ezcema bleed. It has a different mode of action, sits below the skin so doesn't block the pores .. or something like that, there is a good video on their website.

Edamame are legumes - how are you with peanuts?

LadyTurmoil Wed 24-Apr-13 20:29:41

I've been fine with peanuts up til now blue - Thanks for tip about allergy clinic. I've got eczema as well, particularly on my face with red, dry patches that don't go away whatever I put on them. I've been living with it for a few years now and it's really getting me down so I must try and tackle it.

Know that GP might not be v receptive (daughter also has sensitive skin and wasn't very impressed with dermatologist we saw for her...) but I've got to start somewhere.

Wallison Wed 24-Apr-13 20:37:11

I would keep pushing for a referral to an allergy clinic if I were you although be warned that you can wait a long time. After my DS had his anaphylactic reaction it still took 18 months until we got seen at one; they don't get a lot of funding so are doing a lot on very few resources. Thankfully we had a very gung-ho GP who agreed that the wait was unacceptable and prescribed epi-pens himself in the meantime (I don't think they are supposed to do this) but if that hadn't happened I would probably have gone private so you might want to consider that if it's an option for you. There are a lot of snake-oil merchants out there though - you need an NHS consultant who does private stuff on the side, not some kind of fleece-you organisation who will rejig your chakras for £££s.

LadyTurmoil Wed 24-Apr-13 20:54:11

Yes, good points Wallison I will pay to go privately as I know waiting lists are sooo long for this kind of thing. The problem is finding someone who's good/reliable etc, not just something off the internet because it's in my area... that's what puts me off trying homeopathy/naturopathy etc because it's impossible to know who's good and who's just a rip-off merchant.

My GP knows me quite well and I'll pump him for information when I see him. At least I'm having the blood tests and it's a start.

BlueBumedFly Wed 24-Apr-13 21:13:03

LadyT - are you sensitive to parabens? I'm always mouth wide open in shock that so many creams and treatments for ezcema contain parabens which can be really destructive to sensitive skin?

Bessie123 Wed 24-Apr-13 21:34:16

Hmm, girls ds has been getting a few nosebleeds at night time. He also has pimply skin on his cheeks. He is 2. I wondered if it might be a problem with dairy - any ideas?

LadyTurmoil Thu 25-Apr-13 00:08:33

Mmmm, not sure is the short answer! I'm so scared about making my skin worse so don't use any makeup on my face, except for lipstick sometimes - so there is probably parabens in that, isn't there? Use Simple Derma moisturiser on face, Diprobase on body. I suppose there are probably parabens in shampoo/conditioner I use.

Do you know any brands that are paraben free? And heard anything about Argan oil?

BlueBumedFly Thu 25-Apr-13 22:27:36

LadyT - According to the ingredient list I just read your face moisturiser ( the Simple one) contains parabens. Might be time for a change if you are still struggling? I know some people are fine with diptobase but again it contains parabens and my dd looked like a burns victim when we used it.

I'll have a google for a good paraben free site ..

BlueBumedFly Thu 25-Apr-13 22:43:47

Ok ... Try the Green People - from memory they do not use parabens or sodium laurel sulfate. Mostly organic stuff, also the B Natural range at tesco does not contain parabens.

I use Exomega on DD as she cannot tolerate all sorts of things - here ... you may have to call them for advise on content etc. I also think Holland & Barrett do a paraben free Dr Organic range.

I'm sure it's possible to spend a fortune but maybe try something easy first? Do a ski patch test behind your ear before you put it on your face. Maybe even try the sample first?

I might be barking totally up the wrong tree but I'd say it was worth investigating?

Bbf x

MERLYPUSS Fri 26-Apr-13 10:06:53

Dont forget to check shampoo for parabens too.

BlueBumedFly Fri 26-Apr-13 19:08:23

yes good point Merlypuss, I am off to do the same!

LadyTurmoil Sat 27-Apr-13 11:34:41

Thank you so much for the links to the sites - I didn't know the exomega brand at all (thought I'd tried them all!) so I will have a good look at that and The Green People. I'm off to check my shampoo too, it's the DGJ Wild n' Crazy Watermelon shampoo, says it's organic but I bet it's got parabens in there too! Typical I recently ordered about 8 off the internet cos it's hard to find in shops round my way!

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