What a complete shite bag!

You poor thing! I have similar issues with my mil and fil not taking allergies very seriously. As my DD is only a baby and not yet realising what treats she is missing out on it isn't too bad yet. I think generally it's easier to deal with your own parents- if they behaved like that then you would easily tell them where to get off but when it's the in laws it's harder. Also as your DH didn't speak up at the time any discussion on the matter will look like it was prompted by you so you might as well tell them yourself. You could say it had upset your child? surely any grandparent wouldn't knowingly upset their grandchild??

Rofl Kerry - I have to agree!

OUT OUT OUT

OUT THE FUCKING OUT

omfg.

I would make it UTTERLY CLEAR to fil how upsetting his behavior is and if it continues he is OUT of your lives.

fucking hell.

Just found this info on Honey Nut Loops

Honey Loops
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Honey Loops is a breakfast cereal made by Kellogg's and sold in Germany, the UK, Argentina and Chile. The mascot of Honey Loops is a honeybee called Loopy. The cereal was originally marketed as Honey Nut Loops, however the Nut has since been dropped from the name in 1998.

In Argentina and Chile the cereal is marketed as Honey Nutos.

[edit] Ingredients
Cereal Flours (Wholeoats, Wholewheat Wholebarley, Whole Rye), Sugar, Honey (4.5%), Glucose Syrup, Salt, Tricalcium Phosphate, Flavouring, Niacin, Iron, Colour (mixed Carotenes), Vitamin B6, Riboflavin (B2) Thiamin (B1 Folic Acid, Antioxidant (Ascorbyl Palmitate, Alpha Tocopherol), Vitamin B12[1]

sorry but your fil is a complete jerk . Your poor DS ! I would take the old sod to one side and give him the telling off of his life .

Does he realise this upsets you, or does he just think that it is just a bit of "harmless" joking around? If he knows it upsets you, I wouldn't worry about upsetting him in return and ensuring he is in no way uncertain as to just how unacceptable this is. If however, he is just a bit tactless (sp?) then maybe a quiet word with your mil about how upsetting you and your ds find it would help. She can then explain it to him in a way that is most likely to get a positive response.

Another thing to think about is whether you trust him not to give your ds eggs or nuts (possibly even on purpose?) if he was left on his own in your fil's care.

Personally I think you clearly have the patience of a saint to put up with this. (I'd probably have just decked him.)

if you are comfortable with the idea of the safety issues being covered.
ie fil wont give suspect food, and would be a trustworthy person to have the care of your child, you need to give this some thought.

If you are going on holiday again, you could make sure your child has something,a big something , out of the ordinary for you to give him, when ever unkind family rub this allergy stuff in.
for instance at easter my son often ended up with a huge egg , because the smaller treats were out of bounds.

there is no harm in anouncing something along the lines of praising your child when he doenst react to his fil's poor choice of phrase ( the bullying) and hand him something. praise in such a way that fil is shown to be a fault, for instance,
how about saying,
'i know you (yr son) cant that that ice cream, you understand your allergies, and that you cant have egg, well done for not making a fuss. you know that you can have ----? later

theres nothing wrong with you joking with fil, for instance when he offered to swop the sandwich to your child, you could have said, 'here , swop with me, I put rat poison in this one, its up to you to drink some water with it'
and then you could turn around to your son and praise him for saying no to a grown up, because thats a very difficult thing to do, and being aware of not eating any food that mummy and daddy have checked.

Keep this in the same jokey tone that he has, and then with luck he might pause for thought every time.

on a reality check though, as your child gets older , this will be the norm for your child. There will always be people who eat food he cant around him.
I can understand you wanting to keep this sort of thing low for his early years.
once they go to school, and senior school, and adult life, this will be the norm for him.

You or your dh have to stand up for your child, it's potentially dangerous to have food waved around them if they have anaphylactic reactions to it. Say nothing and they don't take it seriously and can't be trusted alone with your child.

Based upon some of the bad allergic reactions I have heard re nuts - I would be minded to say something like 'Oh, has that got nuts in - we can't have it in the house/caravan/room, snatch it away and throw away in dustbin/black rubbish bin. And make it clear that if one person can't have somthing, that its not fair if other people have it - and that there is potential for allergy from accidental contact if this does happen.