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second child?

(18 Posts)
melonribena Sat 30-Jan-16 21:33:16

Ok, I've recently found out I'm expecting dc2. Although I'm really happy, I'm already worrying about what we went through with ds.

Ds always brought formula back up and therefore I bf for ages. He was diagnosed with a cows milk and egg allergy at 6 months when he developed hives and swelling lips after reacting to the cows milk in porridge.

We then had no dairy until 2 when we've slowly done the milk introduction programme and he's grown out of it by 3.5.

I just keep thinking how hard it was and so nerve wracking. I worry that our 2nd ds will have a similar if not worse allergy.

Does anyone know how likely it is that ds2 will have allergies? Dp, myself and no one other than ds in our family has ever had allergies so this is all new.

Any experiences shared would be great.

intothebreach Sat 30-Jan-16 21:49:25

Ds1 has very severe multiple food allergies - for a long time I thought it would be best not to have another child because of the risk of this happening again.

Now I do have ds2, and there is a four year age gap between then. I was so determined that ds2 would not be given any formula sad

As it turns out, ds2 has no allergies at all! ! He pretty much follows the same diet as his brother at home (easier, and good for family solidarity) but can eat what he likes at toddler groups. It's weird for me, I am so used to being careful, and paranoid about safety.

Neither one of my boys resents the other, they just accept the differences. They are very protective of each other.

I used to worry that ds2 would be allergic to different foods to ds1 and that we would have nothing left to eat as a family. I'm so glad that didn't happen!

Being pregnant is stressful enough, without this added wiry. Are you okay?

melonribena Sat 30-Jan-16 21:55:59

Thank you.

I really appreciate you replying. I'm fine, just thinking about it brings back all the worry. There will be four years between our dc, due to similar reasons you state.

Allergies are so restrictive, worrying and hard work and I still find it hard that everyone I know have had children with no issues like this and don't understand what I'm stressing about.

shouldwestayorshouldwego Sat 30-Jan-16 22:04:15

Dd1's intollerances were fairly mild and we didn't realise until she was nearly one. Dd2 and ds went on to have more severe intollerances. I couldn't eat milk or soya. They couldn't eat any milk, soya or grains - other than quinoa. They all grew out of it by 3/4. They now eat most things other than yoghurt - the girls won't touch it.

It was a tough few years but we don't think about it now.

melonribena Sat 30-Jan-16 22:24:41

So in your experience, allergies/ intolerances got 'worse ' in subsequent children? Do you have allergies/ intolerances in other family members?

shouldwestayorshouldwego Sat 30-Jan-16 22:32:53

I don't think it was because they were subsequent children, I think they were just unlucky. Dh can't have milk and recently I have given up gluten so I guess the younger two had double sensitivity. They are all fine now and in the longer term it has no impact on our lives. Most dc do grow out of it. I wouldn't base my decision just on that.

intothebreach Sat 30-Jan-16 22:35:13

There's no likelihood that allergies will get any worse in subsequent children. Each child inherits the same tendencies, each are their own new person, iyswim.

Ds2 was tested by ds1's allergy paediatrician (nhs) before I fed him any high risk foods. However, as I said, we were lucky and he is fine.

If ds2 had turned out to have allergies, I would have been much more mentally prepared this time. With ds1, I was so scared, and it was such a learning curve! Nothing could ever be that bad again, I don't think. I am generally much more chilled out with my second child smile

melonribena Sat 30-Jan-16 22:43:31

Thank you both. I think I'm just panicking and trying to look for an answer when there really isn't one!

I didn't realise that a subsequent child has no increased risk, it's just still luck of the draw. I guess I just assumed that since one had an allergy then others would too

AugustRose Sat 30-Jan-16 22:48:27

DC1 had eczema and hayfever from being a baby, developed asthma at about 4/5, we discovered a peanut allergy at 8 and a diary intolerance a few years ago aged 17 - I also believe he has a pet allergy although he's never been tested for it, he is just better when he's not around our animals!

I was told by a doctor that ginger children (which my son is) are more likely to have allergies but I don't know if that is true.

However, our younger 3 DC don't have any allergies at all and one of them is also ginger. DH suffers badly from hayfever and has done all his life but there are no other allergies in our family.

GardeningWithDynamite Sat 30-Jan-16 22:49:14

DD - dairy and egg allergy (egg outgrown by 3, dairy by 4).

I also found it very worrying - hated giving her new foods and hated the restrictions it put on our lives and who we left her with.

DS - 5.5 years younger. No allergies (yay!) - although I didn't give him any dairy or egg until he was about 9 months old.

MagratGarlikAgain Sat 30-Jan-16 22:51:49

DS2's paediatrician (an allergy specialist) told me that the tendency for allergy runs in families, but the type of allergy are not thought to, at the moment, I.e. just because 1 child has a dairy allergy, doesn't mean another will, but they are more likely to have allergies than people without allergies in their family.

intothebreach Sat 30-Jan-16 22:59:53

Bless you, it's hard isn't it? And early pregnancy is such a terrible time for worrying!

You're right, there aren't really any answers. I know it's easy for me to tell you not to stress, and I do fully understand that you are wondering about this!

Enjoy your pregnancy. .. There is nothing really that you can do about whether or not your dc2 has allergies or not. At least this time you will be fully mentally prepared and have a load of practical strategies for dealing with things if you need to.

I'm so glad I had a second baby! The relationship between my boys is lovely, and they will always have each other now. Allergies are a big thing in our family, but not the most important thing in our lives any more flowers

melonribena Sat 30-Jan-16 23:17:26

Thank you. I will take on all of your experience and advice. I knew mn would give great support

MayfairMummy Sun 31-Jan-16 11:51:01

melonribena,
my dc2 has severe multiple allergies
dc3 (3.5 years later) is showing signs but MUCH less than DC2.
(DC1 has no issues).

Research suggests that taking probiotics during pregnancy can reduce the chances of an allergic baby. I took them all the way through. Also feeding them to the child reduces the average time to grow out of an allergy (for those who grow out of them. HTH a bit!

melonribena Sun 31-Jan-16 17:28:41

Thank you Mayfair! I did not know that! Which probiotic did you take? I've never taken one before!

MayfairMummy Wed 03-Feb-16 11:17:53

We use symprove in our house... it's expensive, but as DS has multiple severe allergies it is the only one we can find that he can safely have. It is also designed so that the bacteria actually make it through the stomach, to the gut, ALIVE, whereas the challenge is that most other sources seem to be digested in the stomach and the majority of bacteria are dead by the time they get where they need to be.

You do not need as much as they say on the box.... you can start with a full dose and then drop down to a maintenance dose. Worth ringing them to talk with them (i did, when trying to assess how much to give very young DS).

trixymalixy Wed 03-Feb-16 11:24:23

DS1 has multiple severe allergies. i was similarly nervous with DD2 and also took probiotics in pregnancy.

She is allergic to eggs only and seems to be outgrowing it.

Curlywurly4 Thu 04-Feb-16 10:43:02

This thread is really useful. DS is allergic to dairy, soy and eggs and can tolerate them a bit but not grown out if them yet unfortunately.

I'm newly pregnant with DC 2 so will start probiotics smile

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