Food allergies, cooking so they think they are having the same than other children or not?

[Chandra]

I ownder what do you think about this. Part of my evolution as a mum of an allergic child included a phase when I wanted to make DS's food to emulate the ones other children were having at nursery. Failed miserably when realised that although the things looked quite similar they tasted horrible so now DS has what he can have and is tasty rather than something that looks similar and he would hardly eat.

Now, today went to check another nursery where they offered to cook food for DS that looked similar (poor souls...) but I felt tempted to say "no, that will make him believe he can eat what other children eat and that's not true!"

So... what are your views about it?, should we try to make our food so similar they don't feel excluded or, should we make them aware of their allergies, by cooking different foods, so they eventually learn to take care of themselves?

Discuss...

[Chandra]

ownder=wonder

[psychomum5]

ahh now that is an interesting one for me, as a mum of allegic kiddies.

In the past I too tried to make them have food identical to ours, with the same problem (mine are cows milk and possible coeliac). I know make sure that they have their own food and make it known that they just can't have what they feel like...it needs checking first.

With the milk it is now as hard.....soya milk is readily available as is chocolate and biscuits and other foods....all of which at home we can all eat and enjoy. In fact, the dairy free ice cream is creamier than normal, alth it is more expensive so we only use iot for the kiddies that need it.

Ceoliac foods on the other hand are vile, so when he is on the exclusion months I try to make him food that is tasty as opposed to food like ours (mind....he still won't eat it as he just 'knows'[grrr at his brightness]).

I do try to make us all eat as much as poss the same as DS2 (the worst allegic one) so when at home he doesn't feel as left out.....while out tho it is very hard.

I do tho make sure they are very aware of their own allergies, so that when at friends houses they can judge what they can eat and vice versa as oppesed to trying to explain to the other parents and then scaring them off inviting my child round. Luckily for DD3 (who is second most allergic), her best friend is muslim and so has to avoid pork, so her parents understand how we feel on the food front. I know theirs is a religious reason as opposed to health, but they still understnad the fears of putting people off with the food instructions that would go home with said child (IYGWIM???).

[psychomum5]

know = now in second sentence and then now = not in third...

[Chandra]

PArt of the question stems from todays's visit to supermarket. DS (3yrs old) wanted a Thomas the Tank Engine birthday cake (not his birthday BTW) so I said "No, we can't get that as it has milk" (...and egg, and soya, and possibly nuts) and he replied: "ermh...can we get it for you then?"

[psychomum5]

awwww.....how sweet, altho how awful too that you have to refuse him.

I make mine a big chocolate crispie nest (I use the tupperware round jelly ring mold) with plain chocolate and rice crispies and then fill with packets of mini sweeties for the birthday cakes in our house. You can then decorate (should you be that way talented) with icing figures of their fave characters.

Or even buy the toy versions and stick on top for them to keep as keep sakes....

[threebob]

Ds will cook for me in his toy kitchen "mummy I made you a gluten free egg".

I think it's important that the food is healthy, tastes great and is quick to prepare. I see no reason to spend time and energy making bread that does not taste anything like bread when I can peel a banana in seconds.

I can see some merit in replacement food if your child is diagnosed once they have already had toast or yoghurt or whatever, but if you know no different then it just seems a waste of time and money.

I don't need to have gluten free ice cream cones for instance - I'll just have it in a bowl.

[Chandra]

I think I have a recipee somewhere for a chocolate cake with no flour.... can't use it because it has plenty of egg, should I try to find it for you?

I rely on variations of a chocolate cake recipee Mymama posted sometime ago. It is yummy, sadly the only chocolate he can have is cocoa powder, they normally have either milk or soya. But he is fine, he loves it. Just decorated it with plastic figures on his last birthday, even the icing of glace sugar has brought reactions in the past....

I think he is learning to deal with his allergies, we cook the same for all the family but we are always explaining what he can or can not have and why.

[Chandra]

"mummy I made you a gluten free egg".

First time in the paed clinic I realised which children were waiting for the allergician, they pretended to read the labels of every single item they put in the toy trolley

How's your mum Threebob?

[gigwig]

Interesting area and one I wonder about too. In fact am going on seminar about this later this year to help me how to balance not wanting to scare DS/make him feel different all the time and to teach him to deal with his allergies.

At the moment we tend to keep home food/meals so he doesn't feel he is different too much and away from home he eats different food. We tend to eat the same meal base ie pasta - then have on the table the 'special' cheese and ordinary cheese too and DS learns to have 'his' cheese.

I agree that best is to have tasty food that is fresh and healthy than 'special' food that is not tasty. Otherwise they may grow up not enjoyoing their food and viewing it as plain 'fuel' rather than to be enjoyed etc.

[gigwig]

Queued up for ages at an ice-cream van at the weekend at a fair....by our turn the only ice creams/lollies left were ones with milk/egg in them. Poor DS, but he accepted it well. Our friends had ice creams though, it was hard for him to see his friend having one and not him.

[alison222]

Hmm. Ds has grown up with eating things that are different to other people if there is no obvious subsitute. We have just said that the food would make him ill. He used to be sick a lot - ie vomiting - and understood it when we said that and as it's not pleasant to be sick he just accepted it.

He does now know what he is not supposed to eat and knows that the ingredients have to be checked - although has been known to take something that looks like a similar alternative assuming it is fine - which has caused problems.

In the case of sending him to other peoples houses for meals - I talk to the parent and warn them first - after all he will be arriving with aniti-histamine and and epi-pen just in case, so they need to be completely aware of it.

I've never had a problem with any of the parents being scared off and not inviting him back. We just have a conversation about what sort of food to feed him that will be fine.

I think they need to be aware that they are different and learn to deal with that - after all they may have lifelong allergies. If you start when they are little they just grow up accepting it.

[NikkiH]

I try to give my gluten-free son the same as others as far as possible - sandwiches when they're having sandwiches - etc, sticking to his diet but trying not to make him stand out too much as having something different.

I've always done this and he's now nearly eight. He understands why he can't have certain foods and only to eat food he recognises as having eaten before. My next step is to explain what to look for on labels and to encourage him to help me in preparing his food so that he's prepared for school residential trips etc in year 4.

As a family we eat things that are naturally gluten-free - meat and veg etc - and if we have pasta I do a gluten-free sauce and he has gluten-free pasta while we have ordinary stuff.

He doesn't seem to mind but does occasionally say, now he's getting older and is more aware of difference etc, that he wishes he wasn't coeliac and could eat the same food as others

[Heartmum2Jamie]

Interesting question. I often wonder if I should be trying to make ds's food look the saem as ours or if that would actually cause more problems in the long run. I don't want ds to see and old bowl of pasta and think he can eat it. At the moment, ds mostly eats things that I know he will eat. He has so many "issues" (food aversions, sensory issues) that it is not really worth the hassle sometimes. We do all eat the same thing on a sunday when we have a roast dinenr. Ds patiently plays with his cars while we have yorkshire pudding and then he joins us for his roast. When we do spaghetti bolognaise, we all have the same thing, ds just has his own pasta. I definately do more of what tastes good to what looks good.

As for cakes, I was using the boiled chocolate cake recipie, but have found that dietary specials do a nice chocolate cake that works well with egg replacer.

[Chandra]

I guess that's the point, if by preparing food look alikes we are actually making them believe that they could have whatever the other person are eating. Which is far from being the truth.


Try the dietary specials cake with banana, it's yummy but not as yummy as Mymama's boiled chocolate cake (with bananas too), there are some blueberry muffins by Dietary Specials that are goo if done with rice milk, or done as biscuits rather than muffins.

[Chandra]

good