I'm told that counselling increases the chances of giving up. But I am drinking more now than when I started.

(20 Posts)
Addled Sun 16-Oct-16 20:41:22

I have had counselling for a year, full on therapy type stuff. It has helped me lay a number of ghosts to rest...but it hasn't helped me reduce my alcohol intake. In fact it has got quite a lot worse. I found raking over my past really stressful ( though useful too) so I can see why I have continued to drink. But if therapy doesn't help me, how do I sort out my drinking problem? I feel a bit like a failure, all the stats say counselling helps, but I am worse than I was sad What do I try next? willpower doesn't seem to do the trick.

lanegirl Sun 16-Oct-16 20:42:28

Have you thought of trying Hypnotherapy? NLP and EFT are also brilliant, EFT (tapping) is amazing for reducing cravings.

janethegirl2 Sun 16-Oct-16 20:46:07

Work out how much it costs in terms of money and calories. That's what made me see the light. I still drink but mainly I decide how much I want in a given night, put it in a small jug then go for cheap calorie free alternatives. So far it's working generally although I still can drink far too much if I'm out and about.

FontSnob Sun 16-Oct-16 20:55:40

Have you spoken to your doctor about getting into a program that can help specifically with alcohol addiction to run alongside your counselling. It may be that you are able to be given support and drugs that can suppress the cravings or Antabuse or an alternative. Best of wishes for you.

Addled Sun 16-Oct-16 20:55:47

What is EFT? I have heard about it but know nothing about it.

Jane I know how much it costs and how fat I am getting but it doesn't stop me sad

janethegirl2 Sun 16-Oct-16 21:00:01

Is it worth making your house an alcohol free zone so if you want it you have to go out and fetch it. This approach won't work if you've got an offie within a 5 minute walk like I do

Addled Sun 16-Oct-16 21:00:19

I suspect I am in a bit of a hinterland, in that I drink a bottle of wine a day which whilst it is a lot, it isn't full on alcy IYKWIM. So gp just suggests I cut down ( um yep, hadn't thought of that {hmm} )and was fairly dismissive of any medical/drug interventions. But I can't not have that bottle. I don't drink in the day, but I can't not have my evening bottle.

Addled Sun 16-Oct-16 21:03:23

Jane the sad truth is that I never buy wine with my weekly shop to try to discourage me from drinking. All that happens is that every night I head off to one of 4 localish shops to get my fix (felt embarrassed going to the closest one every day so sought out a few others I can alternate.)

Boogers Sun 16-Oct-16 21:13:02

In what way can you not not have your evening bottle?

Could I suggest asking for this thread to be moved to the alcohol support board as it might get picked up by more people who can help with the specific problem?

Wolfiefan Sun 16-Oct-16 21:15:29

If you can't go without it then I'm afraid you are an alcoholic. You are addicted. You need to find the willpower to stop before you make yourself ill. Isn't a bottle about 9 units? So over 50 a week. Recommended no more than 14 now.

janethegirl2 Sun 16-Oct-16 21:18:14

I like a bottle of wine per night but I need to lose some weight so I have a very pretty little jug that i decant around half a bottle into, then that's my allowance for the night. It works when I'm alone but not if dh is around. Find a nonalcoholic drink you actually like drinking(fucking hard I know- I like some of the purdeys ones) so you are still drinking a 'nice' drink.

janethegirl2 Sun 16-Oct-16 21:20:00

The 14 units are a number plucked out of nowhere, do just aim to cut your units in a weekly basis, and then continue the trend.

Boogers Sun 16-Oct-16 21:21:41

Addled is it that you feel you need a treat in the evenings or is it specifically alcohol you feel you need?

Goddessoftheduvet Sun 16-Oct-16 21:28:15

I second the suggestion that you might find the alcohol support thread helpful.

I think counselling can be wonderful but it helped not one bit until I stopped drinking. I told my counsellor I had low self esteem - which was true - and raging anxiety - also true - but both problems got a whole lot better when I stopped drinking 50+ units a week.

janethegirl2 Sun 16-Oct-16 22:01:50

Do you know why you are drinking? I know I do it as a 'reward' for shit in my life, but I'm trying to reduce this crap and so far it generally reduces the amount of alcohol I consume. Ok, there are good days and bad days but I am drinking less overall. Not perfect by any means though!

OohhItsNotHoxton Sun 16-Oct-16 22:12:28

You probably need to address your drinking as a separate issue. You will have a local alcohol service commissioned by your local authority where you can self refer and get some fantastic support.

madein1995 Sun 16-Oct-16 22:20:37

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2756292-Brave-Babes-braving-the-Autumn?watched=1&msgid=64282056#64282056

Come over to the alcohol support thread Addled, lots of support from people going through/who have been through the same type of thing

FontSnob Sun 16-Oct-16 23:08:51

Your doctor sounds shit! Definitely look for your local alcohol service and get some specialist help.

Addled Mon 17-Oct-16 09:06:26

Thanks for all the replies. I drink for all manner of reasons (Had a great day - lets celebrate! Had a shit day - lets commiserate! Bored today - wine will change my mindset. Stressed today - definitely need a drink! etc) However, stress is the worst.

The weird thing is that the thought of not drinking scares me ie if at 4 pm I think that I really should have a night off, I get frightened....tho have never worked out what of/why ...and so normally cave in. Yet if I can get over that anxiety, by 7pm I am fine and no longer craving. That happens a couple of times a month.

How do I get this moved to the alcohol support thread? I will check out the brave babes, thanks madein

Boogers Mon 17-Oct-16 20:26:09

You drink because you're happy, you drink because you're sad, you drink because you're busy, you drink because you're bored, you drink because it's sunny, you drink because it's rainy, you drink because it's Friday, you drink because it's Monday...

There will always be an excuse. Addiction does that to you.

What you've said sounds like you're already dealing with an addiction. You're planning buying alcohol in different shops so as you don't get thought of as 'the wine woman' or 'the alkie'. You dread not having that crutch to see you through the night.

There are different types of counselling and drug treatment and some people find a combination of counselling and medication works for them. Go back to your GP and ask to be referred to the Community Alcohol Service, or in some areas you can self refer. Google it in your area. Or maybe try Alcoholics Anonymous.

Take each day as it comes. How have you been today?

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