Mumsnet Talk

not talking about internet based book clubs, but the real life variety!

have been thinking for a while about starting a book club for working mums in my area - the idea being that mothers could meet eachother without kids and have something to talk about other than the inevitable child oriented conversations. would also encourage me to read more challenging works and not to lapse into detective fiction whenever i'm feeling the need for mental chewing gum!

anyone done this or a member of a book club? is your group made up of existing friends or to bring strangers together? how does it work? what are the pros and cons?

any comments very much appreciated.

thanks in advance

Can't offer much in advice but I would *love* to do something like this! Did try the Guardian Online reading group for awhile, but it's not the same as being able to chat face to face (and have the opportunity to meet other booklovers too - especially when you've got young children you can get a bit desperate for adult conversation and overcompensate somewhat!).

One thing I would say is not to swap books too regularly - the Guardian one was one book a month and that was just about right. Any more frequent than that and I would be hard pushed to get the book finished in time.

hello again, georgina! i'm already in an internet based book group and it just doesn't work very well. agree with you about needing the face to face discussions. not to mention a face to face meet creates deadline pressure to actually read the book! i've found with my existing internet group either i've read it and by the time we've got round to discussing it, i've forgotten the - ahem! - devastatingly witty and trenchant critical points i was going to make or everyone else has read it and i'm thinking, oh dear, how soon can amazon deliver this and btw i've got about six unread books piling up as it is!

where do you live???

Bossykate,

I would join your book club, if it was near. and once I've learnt to read again.

LOL yes I have exactly the same problem - read the last book in double quick time but didn't post about it. Have forgotten all except a broad outline of the plot and now have missed the next couple of months books because I've been too laz... um... hard at work preparing for Christmas, that's it, yes.

Ooo, another thing - obviously not read trash, but not *too* highbrow either. I do find some of the choices a bit *too* meaty to get through in my half hour before bed after dealing with a toddler all day. I usually end up rereading a page about 3 times to try and make sense out of it - especially if it's written in an accent! Hmm, difficult balance to get, isn't it? Probably the best thing to do is to get groupmembers to vote on the next month's choice.

I'm currently in Croydon, although we are looking to move closer to dh's job soon - probably looking primarily in Worcester.

I haven't done it but our local library was advertising a book club/reading circle I think, last time I was in there.

Bossykate, I've belonged to several book clubs and they are indeed great for sharing a love of books. They've been started by a couple of friends who have then advertised in the local rag or on noticeboards for members to start a group. One group chose a new book to read each month as well as bringing along their own recommendations, while another chose all the books for the year at a social event in early summer. They also ran a book swap scheme. It's definitely worth starting a group so go for it!!

I belong to one- a friend recently started it. It's made up of her friends plus a few extras who've heard about it through other people. We didn't all know each other though. I really like it. We meet once a month in different houses and drink lots of wine. The hostess chooses the next book. You can choose anything you like. It works really well.

Definitely think you should have a rota for book chooser. We don't in my book club, and the person with the loudest voice always gets to choose the book – and it always seems to be the same type of book, too, which sort of misses the point. Do enjoy it, though. We started off with local mums, and now seem to have 2 men in it, too. About 8 seems a good number, as there are always one or two who can't make it on the night. Oh yes, and host supplies crisps & nibbles while invitees bring wine.

Also in a Book Club which sounds similar to the others; someone I had met a couple of times started in & invited me & some other 'like minded' women to join it. We started off with a long list of suggestions & then got down to one a month - it is difficult to choose something that everyone will enjoy so this year each of us will make one suggestion as 'book of the month' - agree, lots of wine necessary.

However, what puts me off (& I don't want to sound super intellectual!) is that it is very difficult to stick to just discussing the book, inevitably the discussion goes off and, hate to say this, but can end up on the same old child related issues (or TV programmes) that I am desperate NOT to talk about! Have talked this through with the 'organiser' but she & I are probably the only ones who think this........ anyone else have this problem?

Ugh, that sounds a pain Lindy. Perhaps a compromise solution could be suggested that only a percentage of the time at the beginning and towards the end is devoted to general topics (rather than specific experiences related to the book in hand)?

I know what it's like though - it's so easy to slip into a rant about your week when it's the first adult human contact you've had in that time!! You might find that some of the others are secretly relieved that less time is devoted to "offloading".

The last group I was in was the opposite to yours, Lindy. Domestic topics were rarely discussed and after a year I knew no more about some of the members than I had on my first meeting! I think meetings were kept on track, because one person (usually, but not necessarily, the chooser) wrote a brief 'review' beforehand and so there was already some sort of framework to adhere to and biuld on. Otherwise it can get a bit aimless, ime.

It's an excellent idea to have books chosen by different people. It's almost impossible to please everyone and half the challenge is to read (and maybe even enjoy!) something that normally you wouldn't glance twice at.

I started a book group 11 years ago, formed from local women - the basis for membership was we could all walk to our local high street for a cheap restaurant meal. It's still going strong, though we have had comings and goings when people move away and move in. We have a membership of 15 and about half that number turn up to the eight or so meetings a year. We have maybe 4-5 who always turn up.

In January we meet with book suggestions for the year, and I formulate the list, and the meeting dates, for the whole year.

We have a good time - we go with the flow when it comes to talking about the book and all the other 'stuff' in our lives. The book does get thorughly dissected, but so does the other 'stuff'!

It's a great way to stay in touch with your neighbours, and to get to know new ones.

I started one a few months ago made up of a few friends and friends of friends. No men, because one of the girls in the group had been in one with men before and found that they dominated and sometimes belittled others' opinions. We have done a variety of books - our first was Phillip Pullman's Northern Lights (a sort of older child's Harry Potter) and the most recent was Like Water For Chocolate by Laura Esquivel.

Inevitably talk strays from topic, but it's a good night out and I look forward to it

Zoe - what did your book club think of Northern lights - we had it for our November book and must admit that I couldn't take it seriously so gave up after three or four pages - and only one other person managed to finish it, she wasn't impressed - would be interested to hear from someone who has read it. We also did a Harry Potter for our very first book but I must admit that sort of book is not my thing at all.

We did Northern Lights for our bookclub, too. I know what you mean about the first three or four pages – all that daemon stuff does seem a bit wierd – but I promise you, it was really worth persevering with. I wasn't keen at all, as I'm not normally into anything fantasy-ish, but in the end really enjoyed it and ended up going on to read the other two books in the trilogy too, as did my MIL, who's also not normally keen on fantasy. I think everyone in my b/c thought it a cracking read. Most went on to read the others too, mostly raving about them as well, although a few didn't rate the third quite as much.

I used to belong to a club - again started by a couple of women who knew each other and recruited interested friends. We each took it in turns to choose and the evening started with the chooser discussing briefly why they'd chosen the book, what they got from it etc. which opened up the discussion nicely. Only over the longer summer break did we have a free-for-all choosing session and it often degenerated into chaos!
We also had that thing of people relentlessly discussing things not to do with the book so we agreed that first we did the book, then we arranged the next meeting and only then did we start to natter ... it was good fun and is still going (but sadly without me as I moved house).
Only problems were people who didn't get on having not-so-subtle arguments via the books, and people choosing increasingly gloomy books in an effort to be literary and serious. When I was in immediate pre- and post-natal hormonal states I had to stop going because I couldn't bring myself to read the books chosen! Oh, and be wary of classics because everyone goes to the library and reads up about them first - makes for a dull discussion!

There were mixed opinions on Northern Lights really, I wasn't too keen to tell you the truth but there were others who really enjoyed it. We did all actually read it which is good, at least I read something I wouldn't normally pick up. Dh read it subsequently and loved it; I have bought him the two others for Christmas

Thanks for the comments about Nothern Lights, Aoe & RosieT, I agree that one of the best things about a book club is making the effort to read books you normally wouldn't try.

thanks everyone for your comments and feedback.

it seems from the replies and also from people i know in "real" life who have done this that there is more chance of survival if it is at least started by a couple of friends - so as a "meeting people" type experience maybe would only work if one knew a couple of people already, they brought friends of theirs etc...

still, may well do it, am mulling it over.

did have one idea about advertising though and would be interested in people's views. i thought i would advertise in the local nct newsletter and as well as just asking people to get in contact, thought i would ask them to state which book they had enjoyed most in the last year and why. if that sounds like a screening exercise, um, yes it would be!

does that sound completely snotty? or just common sense? of course i'm assuming that our local nct members are not axe wielding maniacs so their literary tastes would of course be the only "screening" i'd need to do!

thanks again for the feedback

I think it is a really good idea to advertise (and therefore 'screen'!!) because hopefully you will then avoid the problem I have experienced of everybody knowing each other too well so it's too easy for the discussion to drift away from books onto day-to-day stuff (ie: if children are at the same school, local events etc etc) which is NOT the idea of a Book Club, IMO. By making it clear in the advert you should just get people who really want to read & discuss books, obviously be careful about where you advertise, the local library might be worth a try?

Good luck, I would be interested in hearing how you get on. I am tempted to start up a 'break away' one myself!

banish ennui at bossyk's book club
cerebral chewing gum firmly outlawed
like minded mums succeeding at reading
talking and thinking and not being bored
by ulysses, war and peace, dante or grass,
not finding amis a pain in the arse
last book that i read was green eggs and ham
thought it was fab- do i pass the exam?

lol, scummy! great poem! sorry, you fail, too clever

scummy, i may need your help writing my ad!

bossykate, I'd love to be in your book club but, I fear, I too would be too dumb to contribute - scummymummy said it much better though Think I'd be one of those women who goes off at a tangent and talks about rubbish telly programmes.