Death has come up into our windows: The Zombie Bible

(18 Posts)
SarahAndFuck Sat 18-May-13 22:08:02

Just bought this, no idea what it might be like but it seems to be part of a series.

This is the description.

God is weeping behind her veil in the Temple while the dead are eating her city alive, and her words are coming out through the mouth of her prophet Yirmiyahu. The king and the priesthood don’t like what he has to say, so they’ve thrown Yirmiyahu down a dry well, and once a day, his gaolers toss a zombie in after him. During the three days of this story, the prophet will have to fight to survive the hungry dead, dehydration, and some truly wrenching memories -- memories of atrocities witnessed, lives lost, and sacrifices that shatter the heart.

It's either going to be really good or really bad. Anybody read them?

drinkyourmilk Sat 18-May-13 22:10:34

No. Would be interested to hear what its like though.

No - but it sounds appalling, and I quite like the odd zombie book!

SarahAndFuck Sun 19-May-13 11:13:21

I thought it sounded terrible when I read the description, but for the next few days I kept thinking about it at odd times and in the end I had to buy it to satisfy my curiosity.

I'm planning to start it next, just finishing Orkney by Amy Sackville first.

CoteDAzur Sun 19-May-13 11:15:00

Oh wow. It sounds truly awful. Sorry.

SarahAndFuck Sun 19-May-13 11:21:27

It does sound awful, but the idea of a man down a well having a zombie thrown at him once a day...well, it just interested me.

I'm going to be really disappointed if it is as bad as I first thought though.

But then, it's a Kindle book so it's only £1.78 down the drain if it's terrible.

CoteDAzur Sun 19-May-13 18:13:31

What is the name of the book? I want to send the Amazon link to two friends who are writing books and believe it is hard to get published grin

StuffezLaYoni Sun 19-May-13 18:18:31

It sounds hilariously awful but I'd be interested to know how it went...

SarahAndFuck Mon 20-May-13 00:02:18

That is the name of the book.

Death Has Come Up Into Our Windows: The Zombie Bible.

There are two others as well. What Our Eyes Have Witnessed: The Zombie Bible and Strangers in the Land: The Zombie Bible.

All are by someone called Stant Litore.

I'm starting to think he ought to write another one called I Saw You Coming Sarah: The Zombie Bible because I may be the only person in the world to have actually bought his book, it sounds that bad.

But I had to know, that image of the man down the well having a zombie lobbed in after him every day, it wouldn't leave me alone.

Stant Litore, you might owe me £1.78 if this doesn't live up to even these very low expectations. But it's got four stars from the authors mother on Amazon so it can't be all bad.

<hopes>

SarahAndFuck Thu 23-May-13 00:34:42

Well I've started it and I'm only a little way in, he's only just been put down the well and no zombies have been thrown down yet.

But so far it's not bad. He's killed two zombies and the woman they were eating with a shovel and now he's been lowered into well and doesn't know if he will be there for a day or a week or until he dies.

I think if you liked The Red Tent but think George A Romero would do good things with the screenplay you might like this.

The worst part is remembering that Yirmiyahu is pronounced Jeremiah and not Yermi Yahoo.

It might turn out to be good after all <crosses fingers>

Sorry to say but it sounds wank. I love a good zombie book. My absolute favourite is 'World War Z: The Oral History of the Zombie Wars'

It's bloody brilliant, and written by Max Brooks (son of Mel)

Brad Pitt has made a film of it which is due out next month. Dunno if it can possibly live up to the book.....

Spottytin Thu 23-May-13 23:24:38

Sarah the book may be terrible, but your review is quite honestly the best I've read in ages.

SarahAndFuck Fri 24-May-13 10:58:38

It's not bad.

He's still down the well. It's night now, and they lowered him down there in his loincloth, so he was concerned about freezing to death.

Fortunately the King had a zombie thrown down after him once it got dark and he was able to pin it down in the mud and kick it to death once and for all.

And then he stole it's robe, which is damp but he thinks it will keep him alive through the night, so the zombies do have their uses after all.

I'm quite enjoying it now. It makes a refreshing change that it's not set in modern day America with all guns blazing, and instead we just have a bloke with some stale bread in his underwear jumping on them in the mud grin

It's been a lesson to me not to judge a book by it's crap name and terrible description of God in her temple. Fortunately she hasn't put in an appearance yet, it's just him thinking now and again about how people have turned from her and brought the zombie plague on themselves.

CoteDAzur Sat 25-May-13 11:08:17

It still sounds toe-curlingly awful grin

SarahAndFuck Sat 25-May-13 11:30:17

It is toe-curlingly awful, but still not as bad as What Have I Done by Amanda Prowse grin

We are having a flash back to the moment god made him get out of bed and walk up a hill to see if people had been throwing children into a pit of zombies as sacrifice to a false god now.

Turns out that they were, and he's just accidentally dropped a flaming torch on the people in the pit by mistake. Not a good day for them really.

CoteDAzur Sat 25-May-13 13:45:21

Is somebody forcing you to read this book?

Have you lost a bet or something?

SarahAndFuck Sat 25-May-13 14:33:52

grin

I just need to know what happens down that well.

SarahAndFuck Mon 27-May-13 19:38:19

I finished it. It wasn't that bad.

I've never read the actual bible but if it had more zombies in it I definitely would have paid more attention in RE at school.

It wasn't too bad in the end. Basically just a bible story with a bit more personality and some undead. It was also fairly short, which went in it's favour grin If you can look past the terrible title and the annoying bits about a weeping god, it was quite an interesting story about a city under siege and the people trapped within it.

I might actually read another one in the series eventually grin .

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