Adoption Christmas meet

(81 Posts)
Kewcumber Tue 18-Sep-12 18:09:14

Good idea/bad idea?

What d'yall reckon?

HappySunflower Tue 18-Sep-12 20:57:19

GREAT idea! smile

Devora Tue 18-Sep-12 21:18:40

You know me, always up for a jar and a gossip.

Who's invited?

Lovesoftplay Wed 19-Sep-12 08:25:41

Great idea, I love meeting adoptive mummies. They are the only ones who truly understand!!

Oh, hang on, am I invited?

Kewcumber Wed 19-Sep-12 11:41:58

"Who's invited?" - anyone who wants to come! I wasn't planning on issuing invites!

Kewcumber Wed 19-Sep-12 11:43:00

I know everyone always suggests London but its generally the easiest place for the majority of people to get to. I'm happy to go somewhere else if necessary (and give Devora a lift)

MyDogEatsPoop Wed 19-Sep-12 14:13:57

Oh I'd love to meet some of you, if us prospectives are welcome too! - I'm in London! (and am previously KenHom..)

Devora Wed 19-Sep-12 21:18:35

Do you think Kristina will be able to come, given that it's not flower show time?

Hang on, where IS Kristina? I haven't seen her for ages.

bran Wed 19-Sep-12 21:22:17

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Devora Wed 19-Sep-12 22:32:32

Thanks, bran. Kristina, if you're reading this, I'm missing you...

Lilka Wed 19-Sep-12 23:20:52

A great idea smile Having said that, London is very far for me to travel which gives me a major childcare problem. Give me plenty of notice of the date and I'll see if i can pull it off, but I'm not sure

Maryz Wed 19-Sep-12 23:24:06


Do you all fancy a weekend in Dublin?

I'd really love to join you if nembies are welcome too!

Devora Thu 20-Sep-12 00:16:09

Italiangreyhound, you really don't qualify as a newbie anymore smile

Devora Oh Shucks! What a lovely thing to say!

I'd love to, if that's OK, and London is fine for me.

How many times have you guys met up?

Kewcumber Thu 20-Sep-12 21:04:43

Well I think I've met Kristina about 3 or 4 times ditto Devora, and a few others once.

So are we agreed on London?
DO we want to make it pre-xmas or would the quiet time in January be a better idea?
Maryz - I have a sofa-bed.....

FamiliesShareGerms Thu 20-Sep-12 21:43:24

Yes! And hopefully DD won't be sick this time and I'll make it...

Pheasant - an aside (that will make me sound like a stalker) but from a couple of your other posts in Local MN I think we must live close to each other

bran Thu 20-Sep-12 21:48:01

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Maryz Thu 20-Sep-12 21:52:54

I think it's just the two of us Bran.

Adoption in Ireland is incredibly rare, apart from foreign adoption. And they tend to hang around in specific "by country" groups and boards. There are a few on Rollercoaster.

I've only ever met one person who has adopted an Irish child.

Maryz Thu 20-Sep-12 21:54:43

Thanks for the offer Kew - I bottled the mn meetup next week, and I suspect I would bottle this too. It's hard to book planes for nights out, it works out a tad expensive grin.

But the next time I'm in London I will be letting you know - and MrsDeVere, I'd love to meet her too.

Kewcumber Thu 20-Sep-12 21:56:09

I thought Ryan Air charged about £4.50?

Devora Thu 20-Sep-12 21:56:40

It's such a shame you can't come, Lilka! Where on earth do you live? [Mental image of LIlka and brood on Hebridean island accessible only by pedal steamer]

Devora Thu 20-Sep-12 21:57:36

Yes, do you think we can tempt along MrsDV to update us on her monstrosity-next-door situation?

Maryz Thu 20-Sep-12 22:01:08

Yep, £4.50 for the ticket.

And about £40 for the taxes, a tenner each way to book with a credit card (unless it's a Ryanair credit card and who has one of those hmm), another tenner each way to check in online (with no alternative, as it costs double that at least at the airport), and sundry other crap.

The ten euro tickets I bought for ds2 and dh to go to the Olympics cost me €130 by the time I'd added it all up shock.

If you travel at silly o'clock midweek you can sometimes get a "no-taxes" ticket (so only have to pay cc fee and checkin).

It's a fecking disgrace [mutter].

But sadly still cheaper than Aer Lingus.

Isn't Lilka way ooop North or is it South ?

bran Thu 20-Sep-12 22:02:04

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Devora Thu 20-Sep-12 22:11:15

Plus the therapist bills to cope with the mental stress of travelling with Ryanair...

Maryz Thu 20-Sep-12 22:14:34

Yes, bran, but from what I can see it still won't allow abused children to be adopted without the consent of their abusive parents sad.

It will allow long-term foster carers who have had their foster children for over three years to apply to adopt (with no guarantee that they can, but at least they can apply, it will be up to the judge to dispense with parental rights which in Ireland they aren't keen to do).

It will also allow children of married parents to be adopted, if the parents wish to place them for adoption - which isn't likely to happen much. I suspect this bit is in place because of the publicised case where an adopted child was returned to his biological parents (after a years with AP's) because they got married hmm.

The rest is bollocks. It will make no difference [bitter]. There is no help in this country for vulnerable children; the waiting lists for SS help are ridiculous, children as young as 14 are placed in adult homeless shelters, and many of them die in care.

Claifairy Thu 20-Sep-12 22:15:00

Would love to come down but my 'hotel' in London has had the nerve to move to get a bigger house for less money and not considered my needs for a London fix every few months (pre little man of course!)

If you fancy a night out in Liverpool though ....

HappySunflower Thu 20-Sep-12 22:26:09

We are an hour from London, and I've only had one night out since dd arrived and I made sure that I was only 15 minutes away.

I'll give it some thought as would love to meet you all!

Lilka Thu 20-Sep-12 22:48:26

Maryz is right

Devora - I used to be in Notts, but now in Newcastle area, about 5 hours from London. I don't think I can manage a 10 hour round trip. Such a shame sad

Lilka Thu 20-Sep-12 22:54:34

Although having said that, I am glad to be back up here. Always be a Geordie at heart smile

Devora Thu 20-Sep-12 23:05:28

Ok, that IS a shlep. I'll let you off, Lilka.

Maryz and Bran, another Dubliner here...maybe we should have our own meet up sometime?

I'm hoping the referendum brings some positive change. We gave respite care for years for a child in long term foster care. She's 18 now so it's too late for her 9to be adopted) but her brother still has a chance to be adopted by their FCs. Their BM will never ever be allowed to parent them, she fucked up royally.

FamiliesShareGerms DM me?

Lovesoftplay Sat 22-Sep-12 07:46:13

This may be an uber stupid question, but would this be an evening thing, or daytime/afternoon?

I'd assumed evening, without children? But am I wrong?

HappySunflower Sat 22-Sep-12 10:16:24

Oh, if it ends up being day time with children, then I could definitely come.
Maybe we should do both- that way those of us living too far from London to make the evening could still join in?

That sounds lovely. Is there a date yet?

HappySunflower Sat 22-Sep-12 12:09:28

Not that I am aware of, no.
Maybe we should use meetomatic to look at potential dates?

DameKewcumber Sun 23-Sep-12 20:51:18

I haven't used meetomatic - I use Doodle but either is fine.

I was assuming evening without children.

Sounds great. Please do include me. I'm not in London but it's not too far to get to if it were close to a tube station.

calmlychaotic Sun 23-Sep-12 23:17:21

Ooo I would love to come. I'm in Liverpool too Claifairy x

jenny60 Mon 24-Sep-12 09:19:23

Could I come too? Not in London but might be able to manage.

I've no idea what meetomatic or doodle are - if you set a date please could someone message me?
Would definitely prefer evening, minus children!

HappySunflower Mon 24-Sep-12 11:32:00

I'd love to do evening minus children, but I'm a single parent and have only left my dd twice, and only ever stayed 15 minutes away so an hour and a half is a bit of a scary prospect.

I'm happy to organise something daytime with children if anyone in a similar situation to me is interested in that!

I think I might be up for either a meet up with kids or an evening meet up. Depends really when it is.

calmlychaotic Tue 25-Sep-12 00:38:35

How about a late afternoon with kids then carrying on till evening to accommodate everyone. . .I'm too much of a newbie to be trying to organise hides in corner

I would be happy to go to either or both, afternoon with kids or evening. It is a bit of a journey for me so I might not bring my dd but would just love to meet any of you who are free before Christmas.

Lovesoftplay Thu 27-Sep-12 18:38:32

I could only do an afternoon really as its a fair trek for me, so would welcome an afternoon and evening meet. Any ideas on dates yet?

Are people thinking of a particular day of the week? Friday, Saturday, Sunday???

15, 16, 17 December are free for me! In fact I am free right up to Christmas after that but might be too near Christmas for some! Just suggesting it ... (slinks away!)

HappySunflower Fri 28-Sep-12 11:16:58

I can do those dates smile

DameKewcumber Fri 28-Sep-12 11:48:15

I think you might struggle to get people together the week before xmas - certainly int he evening when babysitting supply competes more likely evenings out (in my dreams!)

I will set up a doodle list (its very easy to use - will also look at meetomatic)

Daytime meets will opnly work for those with children not in school or at a weekend and again I suspect there's too much Xmas stuff going on around then to agree it. If you travel from somehwere else how would you plan to bring a child during the day - what happens at the evening? from experience we tend to end up getting chucked out last!

Yes, I agree it is quite late in terms of close to Christmas.

Would people maybe prefer earlier in December or maybe October or November?

Also, Kew - do you pm people where to go?

If I can make the chosen date I will definitely come.

DameKewcumber Fri 28-Sep-12 12:08:53

What we have done in the past is agree a venue or at least a idea of some then swap pm's/emails/mobile phone number (very important as tehre's always last minute drop outs).

Once we've agreed a date (I'm delaying shamelessly as I'm waiting conformation of an important family Xmas date!) then we'll discuss locations and type of food and then everyone dumps a choice on me and blithely says - "oh we don;t mind"!

sounds perfect, I eat almost anything (except black pudding!) Not many black pudding only restaurants in London!

Devora Fri 28-Sep-12 22:27:12

That's it, everyone dumps on Kew. And she never lets us down grin

DameKewcumber Fri 28-Sep-12 22:43:48

for that I will pick argentinian steak restaurant this time (you are veggie aren't you?)

calmlychaotic Fri 28-Sep-12 22:46:53

possible trip to London with no kids sounds great! Xmas shopping too.

Devora Fri 28-Sep-12 23:05:23


hifi Fri 28-Sep-12 23:15:18

Only available until 8 th December.can put 2 people up,same room thogrin

DameKewcumber Fri 28-Sep-12 23:20:19

would you all consider January dates as well because December is looking a bit squeezed for me. probably only one Friday night free and I'll find out shortly which one that is.

hifi Fri 28-Sep-12 23:24:51

January,yes,very boring month.something to look forward to!

HappySunflower Fri 28-Sep-12 23:50:29

January fine for me.
I think we'll need to make it a Saturday, though- as otherwise those bringing their children to the daytime bit won't be able to get there if they have school-aged children.

DameKewcumber Sat 29-Sep-12 00:03:22

if you bring your child to the daytime bit - what will you do with them in the evening? I don't see how one meeting with children and one without on the same day can work unless they are for different groups of people - in which case why not arrange them on separate days?

I can make January, but I think I'm away the last week of the month (but go with that if it works for everyone else, obviously)

January would work for me. As would November or December. It does depend which dates as we have our adoption training (yipee!!) and I have a work thing too in January.

Although I'd like to bring DD to meet your kids all at some point I think for a first meeting (for me) I am more interested in me meeting YOU guys and I would find that harder with DD around so I won't bring her - but I don't mind who else brings whom ever!

Are we describing one meet up or two?

Lovesoftplay Sat 29-Sep-12 19:06:45

I wasn't gonna bring my children to the afternoon bit, it's just cos I live a fair distance I didn't want to commit to evening and have no way of getting home sad

HappySunflower Sat 29-Sep-12 19:57:00

I'm only planning to come to the daytime. I was under the impression they'd be on the same day- then those people without children with them but wanting to come to both bits/stay on for the evening can do so.

As much as I'd love an evening out with you all being an hour and a half away from my newly adopted little girl isn't, and won't (for obvious reasons!) be an option for a very long time!

Can all those intending to bring their children to the daytime make themselves known either on here? That way we can gauge whether there's enough interest in a daytime meet at all. smile

I'd definitely be up for a day time or evening meeting, with or without kids, but I may not bring my little one. So count me in for anything, as long as I am free. I do work but my job is flexible.


I'd be up for an evening meet up, minus children please.

I think the benefit of having am afternoon time and evening time meet up on the same day is that maybe some of us who would be wanting to come without kids, and are coming from far away, might try and make both! I live outside London and it would be quite expensive to come in on two different days to meet everyone but if there is a one day when people are meeting, afternoon with kids and evening without kids, I would probably try and come in the afternoon to meet some of you and then stay on for a bit to meet the rest!

Sounds greedy! I know, but then I am greedy!

Anyway, if it ends up that we find a suitable date then I would be delighted to meet as many of you as I can and if not will just wait for next opportunity.


DameKewcumber Tue 02-Oct-12 00:01:25

Oh lordy - save me from the thread on the Russian adoption make me go to bed. Still apparently there are scary number of us well meaning parents giving our children back - I like the idea of being scary.

Devora Tue 02-Oct-12 00:56:17

I hate to burst your bubble, DameKew, but somebody has to break it to you:

Sometimes love is not enough.

Night all. Count me in for daytime and/or evening. January preferred.

Just wondered if anyone is still keen?

Devora Sun 28-Oct-12 15:15:10

Yes! Are we all sitting here waiting, arms folded, for kew to do something magical with an online tool?

Yes, am still very keen. I think the latest idea was a day when people who wished to could meet either with or without kids in the afternoon/daytime and then those of us who would not be bringing kids could meet in the evening. If this is the case I will definitely come along.

If it is on two different days (one with kids and one without), I would still be keen but would probably not be able to afford two trips to London.

So yes, very keen still.

Devora Sun 28-Oct-12 20:43:54

I'll have a word with Dame Kew.

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